I didn’t dare blog about Jane’s pregnancy hormone flare-up yesterday. But I feel safer today to share some details because Jane’s in a great mood (for now, and hopefully the rest of) this evening.
I first shared some thoughts about the pregnancy hormones creating instant mood swings over a month ago. And to be honest, there have been several times since then where I wanted to share what was going on, but feared something I wrote here would cause Jane’s mood swing to knock me one right in the nose.
Yesterday was a rough day before Jane’s parents arrived. I just couldn’t do anything right. I put things away in the wrong place. I forgot to put a new garbage bag in the bin when I took the trash out, and boy I heard about that one.
I know you guys know what I’m talking about here… I knew it was best to not be seen, to stay away, and become invisible as best I could. Jane was a time bomb and at any moment I knew I was just an inch away from doing something wrong – and I’d really hear about it!
So what did I do? I vacuumed the house. I couldn’t hear a thing, say a thing, and figured that would be the safest thing to do. At one point Jane walked by me and I took the hose and put it to her butt cheek. She didn’t react one bit.
A few minutes later I had the vacuum off and Jane walks out of her office, looks at me and says, “You Suck”.
Before I knew it, I jokingly said the words, “You Suck” back. I knew the moment my mouth made the “ck” sound, this wasn’t a time to be playing around or joking. The smile I had on my face slowly turned into a face of fear. Jane was serious. And of course, her hormones were going wild and she took me saying “you suck” back to her VERY seriously – and got even more mad at me. It was like I was the one who just walked into the room and “you suck” to her like she said to me!
What the!? This stuff can really make you go crazy as a guy if you allow yourself to try and make sense of anything to do with your pregnant wife’s mood swings.
They Make No Sense.
Soon after the “you suck” ordeal, which ended with a look from Jane that made me feel like I was about to be stabbed or my manhood chopped off, I made my way outside to escape any further craziness.
While outside, I was messing around with the grill trying to look busy and the door opens. Uh oh. It was Jane… and she still had the look of a pregnant woman having a rush or hormones comparable to someone who is having a steroid rage I’d imagine.
Now I don’t remember what she asked me, but the next moment she said, “you didn’t even say anything about the dress I’m wearing!” Before I could say a word, she closed the door and went back inside muttering something.
Oh boy. Those pregnancy hormones were rocking and rolling her mood swings big time.
Once I thought it was safe to go back inside, I slowly walked back in the house. I felt like I was walking on egg shells fearing to awake a huge fire breathing dragon and I was about to get toasted at any moment.
I took a deep breath and cheerfully asked if she was OK… and may have even asked what’s wrong… which I should have learned during these pregnancy mood swings that it’s best not to ask that question because usually there isn’t an answer! They usually don’t know why they are so upset!
Well, this time there was an answer…
Pregnant Jane said, “You didn’t even say anything about my dress.” I asked her if that was the thing that has been bothering her, and she said, “Yes. Leave me alone.” Uhhhh, OK. Funny thing is that she had been like that for HOURS, she probably didn’t know why she was in such a bad mood because of her hormones going wild, but told me it was because of the dress. OK. I wasn’t going to argue.
Believe me, I knew not to say anything except apologize about not saying how beautiful she looked in her dress, and how it made her belly look so cute, etc. And I also knew that I needed to escape FAST before I did something else wrong.
I went back outside, and within 5 minutes her parents arrived and instantly Jane was back to her normal self and she was cool with me for the rest of the night.
It was so weird. For hours and hours throughout the day Jane wanted to kill me. I knew it. I could feel her hate building. The back of my hair stood up on my neck if my back was towards her. I knew I was in for a long day… and I was.
However, once Jane’s parents arrived Jane was instantly better. So weird. It was like the switch was turned off.
Here’s what I think happened…
Since I was outside, Jane must have called her mom and told her that her hormones were flaring. Jane’s mom must have made a potion or something on the way here and gave it to Jane when she walked in the house. Seriously, Jane went from a you know what to the wonderful, happy, cheerful Jane I’ve always known and loved.
Over the last several weeks I’ve seen sides of Jane that I never knew existed. I now know for SURE that when I see she is having one of her pregnancy mood swings, I need to…. RUN!!!
P.S… OK, I’m now 120% convinced that the whole “second trimester brings a very, very hot and bothered wife” or whatever they say is an urban legend. If that’s happening to other father-to-be’s out there, my hat is off to you bro. Enjoy it. Think of me. Well, not literally, I mean, well, never mind. Don’t think of me. That would be weird. None of that happening in this house – that’s for sure. And we’re long out of ice cream… Oh boy… this is going to be a long night…
P.P.S… I’m afraid to post this; I don’t want to open a can of worms! Jane is crying her eyes out across from me watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition! I’ll try to keep her off her computer tonight so she doesn’t see this post until the AM.
You might also want to read:
- Mood swings: The survival guide for the father-to-be.
- These stupid pregnancy hormones are making me crazy and mean
- Pregnancy emotions gone wild: Jane cried this morning and I just want her to know…
- Pregnancy Gas: Wife’s Early Pregnancy Gas Drives Husband Out Of House
- 16 weeks pregnant belly: The trash, the dragon, and the lack of steamy I Want To Attack You juices.