The journey to becoming a father is a strange one at times; I’ll give it that. All of the realizations, thoughts, feelings, and more that I’ve shared on our pregnancy blog over the last month and a half have all been big… but not as big as what is about to come.
On Wednesday, Pregnant Jane will have an ultrasound and we’ll learn if we’re having a boy or girl.
On Wednesday, our current “baby” will become our son or daughter.
On Wednesday, everything officially becomes REAL for me! Ahhhhhh!
I think for a pregnant women, their body is going through all sorts of changes on the inside and outside rather quickly, so the realism of “I’m pregnant and I’m going to be a mom” settles in fast for them.
On the other hand, for a father-to-be (at least for me anyway) it’s been more like little baby steps. A little soon-to-be father realization here, a thought there.
I’ve of course known in my mind and heart that I’m going to be a father. I’m excited about it. But the realness of it all hasn’t fully set in yet. It’s not like I’m walking around with a pregnant belly all day every day to serve as a constant reminder like Pregnant Jane. Thank God.
I’m reminded that I’m going to be a father by thoughts that flow in and out of my mind. For example, today I had the thought that once we get back on our feet financially, I wanted to take Jane to Disney World. She’s never been, and I know she’d LOVE it there. But then I reminded myself that she’s pregnant, and she wouldn’t be able to go on the roller coasters. Hmmm.
That’s the way it’s been day in and day our for me. These little thoughts pop into my head followed by a reminder, “oh yeah, I’m going to be a father soon; that will have to wait.” So while I know Jane is pregnant and I of course know I’m going to be a father, I have a feeling that Wednesday will be yet another one of those huge steps towards fatherhood. Knowing if we have a son or daughter on the way will completely flip our thinking.
Up until now, it’s been “the baby”. Neither pink or blue, neither girl or boy. No specific thoughts running through our minds. However, on Wednesday when we find out the sex of our baby, everything is going to change for me – maybe the both of us.
After Wednesday, thoughts will fill my day of either me playing catch with my son, or reaching for my wallet when Pregnant Jane and my daughter go shopping.
Thoughts of playing with toys, flying toy planes, or watching my son pitch a no-hitter… or thoughts of me playing with Barbie dolls, watching my wife and daughter play dress up, or watching my daughter give a stellar performance at her Ballet or balance beam gymnastics show, or whatever you call them.
Thoughts of what we’ll soon need to buy will begin dancing around in my head. Once we know if we’re having a girl or boy, we’ll know if it’ll be a pink stroller or a blue stroller. Clothes. A baby seat. Toys. Oh my! Oh my head…
Seriously, this ultrasound on Wednesday will create a completely new chapter in our lives!
You might also want to read:
- A Dad-to-be realization came to me while sitting in court today.
- Father-to-be thoughts about first times and last times.
- Father-to-be ramblings about Dadalings and soon to be happenings
- Learning about our baby: How he learns, develops, and what we can do to be better parents
- 16 weeks pregnant father: Sympathy pains, mood swings, 5,000 Twitter followers, and what in the heck am I reading?
= a post from Mommy Jane 
= a post from Daddy Tarzan
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
LOL! That first appointment is always so fun! I’m excited to know that you guys are having a healthy baby……???? LOL
Not to scare you… but I was told I was having a girl for 8 months. 8 months of ultra sounds once a week (high risk pregnancy) with a different doctor, nurse or tech each time.
At 8 months a 3D ultra sound confirmed.
“How the HELL did ANYONE EVER think that was a GIRL!?”
That was the techs words. Not mine.
That’s awesome, good luck. I can’t pretend to know what it’s like to get the sex of the baby beforehand because we waited the whole 9 months for the ultimate surprise. That was my wife’s idea and it really pissed me off, but I have to say it was worth it.
But the feeling will be just as awe inspiring tomorrow and I’m thrilled for you guys. Enjoy it because you’ll always remember it. And my guess…I’m pretty sure it’s a girl. Can’t wait to hear for sure though. Keep us all updated.
Daddy Files’s last blog post..Why So Mad At Dad?
Excellent perspective Tarzan!
I remember with my first son – what made it real for me was the first big kick I felt. Immediately all the blood left my head and I nearly fainted
Good Luck!
My money is on a girl, too.
My husband and I also waited to find out – like DaddyFiles, my husband was NOT too excited about it in the beginning but has since proclaimed that “we’ll do it that way again” because it was so exciting in the end.
Whenever you do find out, it’s a great surprise and, like you said, a whole new chapter. Good luck, guys!!
@Young Momma… Whoa! I cannot imagine 8 months of ultra sounds – once a week every single week. If we had to do that, and if we had to do it at the hospital where we’re having ours tomorrow (a whopping $900) that’s 32 ultrasounds… which would be a total cost of: $28,800. GULP! If they could be done at Jane’s doctor, she charges $100 a pop, that would be $3200. Let’s just say that we are VERY happy that Jane isn’t “high risk” or else we’d be living in a luxury 5 square foot cardboard box!
@Daddy Files… Hey brother, I don’t know how you did it. I’m not sure I’d be able to wait the full 9 months if we were having a boy or girl. I’m not good with things being kept a secret from me – and to me, that is the ULTIMATE secret! My hat is off to you guys for being able to go the full 9 months without finding out. On the other hand, that must have been really exciting as it creates the biggest surprise you’ll ever have in your life! Unless you guys have another baby… or two… or five… or 14. So a girl, huh?
@Mathew… Man, you make a great point there. Feeling the baby kick will be yet another one of those ‘realizations’ that set in saying, “yup, there really is a baby in there; you’re going to be a dad!” I haven’t even thought about that and I have a feeling I’ll be like you except I’d be the one to pass out and fall flat on my face for an hour or two. Remind me that if I’m driving and Jane says, “Whoa! Feel my belly, I can feel s/he kicking!” to pull over on the side of the road first!
@Bessie.Viola… Another vote for a girl! Thanks so much. I’m as excited to call everyone I know and post on this blog once we find out if we’re having a boy or girl as I am to find out! It’s just going to be a very exciting day tomorrow all around.
With all of the excitement going on tomorrow, I hope that is what finally triggers the “I can’t stop myself, I’m hot and bothered 24/7″ hormone in Jane finally. The other day I was pushing all over her head and gently shaking it joking with her. She asked what in the world I was doing, and I told her that I was trying to find the magic button to activate the “I want you 24/7 pregnancy hormones!”
Learning the sex of our twins was a huge day for my wife and I. When the doctor told us we were going to have a boy and a girl, I felt like we hit the lottery!
I think the most beneficial thing about having an u/s is the emotional aspect for the dads-to-be. We chose not to know the sex for any of our 3 boys but to have the u/s to make sure heart looked ok, etc. Before the days of blogs my husband wrote a journal entry about how much it affected him to see the little person staring back at him. This was exactly 13 years ago. Thanks for the memories!
@getfoundnow… No, that’s like hitting the lottery twice!
@Michele… Wow! I bet your husband would have been a “Tarzan” 13 years ago writing about everything he was going through. I hope he kept the journal so he can show your kids down the road.:)
Tarzan,
Hi! First off, I think this is cute and I bet it’s soooo exciting that tomorrow you’ll know what you’re having! It looks like you guys are having fun with this and I’m so jealous! I’m enjoying yalls journey!
Hey Jenn,
Thanks so much!
We can’t wait. It’s been all we’ve been talking about all day in between running around and working like crazy!
I also received your really nice letter and have forwarded that to Jane. Thank you very much and I’m glad everything is all good.