Jane is now 18 weeks pregnant and her belly is now growing by jumps and springs. Seriously. Her belly is growing faster than those weeds that grow like crazy on the side of your walkway in the summertime.

We were just looking at Jane’s pregnant belly week by week pictures and we’re amazed by the difference over the last few weeks.  I mean seriously amazed. I know I keep mentioning that every week, but really, this is getting out of control.

I have to admit, the thought of going out to get another ultrasound has crossed my mind.  I’m starting to wonder if our son was hiding his brother and sister in Jane’s belly!  Is that even possible when you’re 18 weeks pregnant?!  Eeks!

Even Jane’s mother commented on her pregnant belly today.  She said that within just one week of seeing her last, pregnancy week 18 has taken her lovely lady bump to a lovely lady boo-ya shicka POW! OK, she didn’t say those exact words, although I think that’s what she meant to say.

It’s crazy.  I noticed that when I hug Jane now, I can feel her pregnant belly press into my stomach.  I don’t think I’ve ever hugged a pregnant woman before.  It’s an interesting experience.  It’s almost like you’re hugging someone different – not your wife!  Strange.

And here we go again… Pregnancy week 17 and especially pregnancy week 18 has brought with it the famous “pregnant brain”. In fact, I’m seeing a whole new level of pregnant brain with Jane over the last few days.

She’s constantly telling me to remind her about everything.  And of course, being a guy coupled with the fact that I also have a lot on my mind, I forget to remind her 99% of the time.

Jane has forgotten appointments, groceries, whether or not she fed our dog (837 times), whether or not she let our dog back inside, she’s lost more clothes than I even knew she had, and on and on.  And to top it all off, she sometimes can’t talk right!  She’ll mix up words all the time.

Pregnant Brain Strikes Again

Yesterday instead of, “do you need a napkin and fork” Jane said to me, “do you need a nap and forkin?” I immediately turned around with a big smile on my face, and I see her just looking back to me, obviously clueless to her mistake.

“Do I need a WHAT?” She then thought about what she just said and we both laughed .  She does this about 10 times a day.  I need to start carrying around a journal writing down all of these words Jane comes up with.

That way if she says something to me a few months down the road that made no sense, I’ll be able to thumb through my journal to see if she said it before and see what in the hell she’s talking about!

But you know, all this crazy stuff is making me love my 18 weeks pregnant Jane more and more every single day.  And I love her belly.  It’s cute.

Wait a second.  Cute? Not normally a word a guy says.  Let me say instead that it’s very, very nice and I like it a lot.

HOWEVER…

She does drive me up the wall at times.  She just did something that I’ve been wanting to blog about – but keep forgetting.  No, it’s not my pregnant brain, it’s my brain blocking out the horror.  Here’s the deal… and guys, I know you’ll be able to relate with me here…

Jane keeps asking me the same thing 500 times!  A few minutes ago, Jane asked me if I wanted some pasta salad.  I said no thanks.  She asked me if it was OK for her to have some because she was saving that for me.  I answered, uhhhhh… of course.

Pregnant Jane then went into the kitchen and no lie, asked me if I wanted some pasta salad AGAIN.  I nicely said, no thanks again.  She sat down on the couch, ate her pasta salad, and when she was finished asked me if I wanted some pasta salad because she wanted to get more.

What the &$#& woman!?  I nicely said, no thanks… AGAIN.  She then got more, sat on the couch and said, “are you sure you don’t want any – it’s good!?”  WHAT THE _____ JANE!!??

Is THIS how my soon-to-be nerves of steel are developed in order to be able to be patient when raising a child?!

After Jane finished her pasta salad, she asked me if it was OK if she turned the TV on because I was in the living room working.  I said OK, it was fine.  She asked me if I was sure.  I said it’s fine.  She got up, opened the armoire, got the remotes, and asked me if it was OK again.

I sit here appearing nice and calm while my blood begins to boil out of control…

If it was any other time in our lives, I’d be pretty much flipping out right now if the past 5 minutes happened at any other time.  This is totally crazy!

And I can see why we’ve gotten into some small arguments over the last few weeks because of this.  I’ll just keep saying, OK, OK, OK, and after minutes or hours of this constant questioning over and over about the same stuff – my nerves give way and I’ll answer her in a ‘rude way’… meaning I snap back.

“What’s wrong with you?  Why are  you being so mean to me?  Why won’t you talk nice to me?”  Jane will batter me with more and more questions and yes, even tears will start flowing.

How in the hell… seriously, really, how in the hell do I even deal with this!?  It makes NO sense at all!

Weeks ago I attempted to explain to her that I was annoyed by her asking me 50 million things over and over, but believe me, that would open a whole can of worms about how she was being nice and I’m mean, and on and on.  You know what I’m talking about ladies.

So what is my secret to avoiding arguments (7 times out of 10)?  I reply to Jane using 3 words or less when being asked the same thing 398 times.  If I stick to 3 words and say them nicely, I’m in the clear… most of the time…

I have come to a truly massive father-to-be realization here…

A couple of them actually.  First, I can see why most guys gain weight while their wife is pregnant.  It’s not just because of the late night food runs and the extra food in the house, it’s because their wife asks them if they want something 508 times – and eventually we give in just to avoid a fight!

So the weight that a lot of guys put on while their wife is pregnant is a BATTLE SCAR.  It’s proof they’ve been through the “do you want some…” or the, “is that OK?” thousands of times during their wife’s pregnancy.  I have a whole new respect for guys who have been though and lived through their wife being pregnant.  You Da Man.

Now you have to understand something here… Jane and I both work from home.  Full-time.  24-7.  Every waking and sleeping hour of the day!

We’re together all day and all night.  Not always in the same room, but we’re under the same roof.  We spend more time together in one week than most people spend in a month – I’m sure.  So what does that mean for me?  I’m hit with these questions 50,000 times more than the average guy!

Someone… please… help… me…

This means one of two things.  First, it could mean that I’m going to gain back the weight I’ve lost due to all the stress plus another 50 pounds… or second, this means I’m going to have true, time-tested, and proven nerves of solid platinum.

My second father-to-be realization is that the world and the ‘birds and the bees’ is more complicated and sophisticated than I thought.  I’m starting to believe that something triggers within a pregnant woman to do everything they can to annoy the hell out of their husband.

And the crazy thing is, they don’t realize their doing it!  They really don’t!

The constant annoying for months on end builds a stronger man.  We’ll be able to let a crying baby at 3 AM seem like a mosquito bite and let it roll off our shoulders with ease.  We’ll be able to deal with teaching someone who knows nothing, everything.  I believe that alone is the most daunting task in the world.

However, because of my daily dose of I’ll call it “training” by my beautiful 18 weeks pregnant Jane (again, pregnant woman have no idea that they’re doing that to their husbands), teaching someone everything who knows nothing is sounding more and more like a cakewalk now-a-days.

Now I know not all pregnant woman will agree with me on the above.  Remember, you don’t even realize what you’re doing to your poor husband.  And if you’ve already had a baby, you may not remember much of the times you did this to him.  Buy guys, you know what I’m talking about here, right?

Yet one other father-to-be realization directly connected to the above is something even more crazy.  Check this out…

I have a feeling that when your son or daughter is born and you first lay your eyes on him or her, your heart melts and your brain goes haywire.  And it’s at that very moment that your brain secretes a chemical that I’ll call “the pregnancy pain eraser juice” that makes you forget about everything you went through up to that moment.

Women forget about all of the pain, the nausea, hormones, battles, arguments, the… you name it.  Guys forget about the rigorous mental conditioning that their wives put them through – usually without both of them even knowing it.

What if???

What if the pregnancy hormone that causes a pregnant woman ask questions 1,000 times, to get moody, emotional, forgetful, mean, happy, etc. actually DO serve a purpose?

What If???

What if those pregnancy hormones that make a woman act that way actually serve the purpose of training the male – and prepare him for fatherhood?

Think I’m crazy?  Think about this…

When she’s crying… that’s preparing you to deal with all the crying your baby will be doing.

When she asks you to remember something for her… that’s sharpening your mind in order to become more aware of your surroundings, so you’ll keep a good eye on your son/daughter.

When she’s emotional… that’s preparing you to deal with a 2 to 5 year-old.

When she’s mean to you… that’s preparing you to deal with those tough teenage years.

When she asks you the same thing 50 times… that’s preparing you being asked by your son/daughter for money every weekend for years straight.

And when she’s happy and nice to you… that’s preparing you to really soak in and enjoy those precious moments with your child because those moments don’t last long, and they’ll be all grown up before you know it.

Think about it.  I may be onto something here…

Now before I end today’s post, I have a…

Note to son: Your mommy thinks I’m totally nuts when I come up with stuff like this, but that’s OK.  It keeps her on her toes and is one of the many reasons why she loves me.  Lesson: Never hold in your creativity or ideas.  Find ways to release your creativity without getting arrested.  Well, for that matter, find ways that are 100% legal.

I used to draw a lot growing up.  Sometimes I drew on things I wasn’t supposed to.  Some people called it ‘graffiti’, but I just called it a creative release.  Over time, I figured out the best ways to release the creative spirit.  It’s different for everyone.  But if you’re anything like me, you’ll have a tough time figuring it out for quite awhile.

If you ever find yourself stuck, go into the woods.  Get away from people, technology, everything.  It’ll take practice fighting the inner battle of boredom, but it gets easier with practice.  It’s where you not only find yourself, but it’s where the creative spirit finds you.

Your mommy wonders why I’ve been going for long walks into the woods lately.  She won’t go with me because she’s afraid of bugs, snakes, alligators, lions, and mythical creatures.  But it’s what has helped me the most, and allow me to begin making big things happen in preparation of your arrival.

You might also want to read:

1. 21 weeks pregnant belly picture: Our baby is kicking Jane’s butt! I mean belly…
2. 11 weeks pregnant belly picture
3. 35 Weeks Pregnant Belly Picture And The Preparations Begin.
4. 19 weeks pregnant belly pictures: Jane’s Pregnancy going great!
5. Pregnancy Week 23 Pregnant Belly Picture And Yes, Tarzan Is Here.

Tagged as: Father, Hormones, Pregnancy, week 18