Yes, it’s true. I have a bachelorette party coming up soon for one of my friends and I am not the least bit excited. At all. A 19 week pregnant girl in a bar with a bump. Oh, I can hardly contain myself from how fun it sounds.
Before I was pregnant, I was really fun and always up for going out and having a really good time. OK, not to say that I’m not fun now, but I am different. Obviously I can’t just go out and have drinks with my friends anymore.
That’s a part of me that won’t resurface until sometime after July and it still won’t be like it was before. I’ll have responsibilities then. So much will be different and I won’t be able to just go out like I used to anymore. But I’m completely okay with this new part of my life. I believe it’s called growing up.
Right now my “fun” in the second trimester consists of food, sleep, being in comfy clothes, and thinking of boy names. It’s not the same fun as getting drunk with my girlfriends on a special occasion.
And because this is one of my really good friends, I realize what a special occasion it is. I realize that she does not understand in the slightest what it is like to be pregnant. Before I became pregnant, she would always tell me, “Please don’t get pregnant until after I get married. It won’t be as much fun.” (She meant it in the nicest way.)
Her and I are a lot alike.
For my wedding, I was the kind of girl that made my wedding planner (or even my mom at times) call back the guests that had RSVPed for them, plus their kids, when the invite specifically did not say the kids name. No way was I having kids at my wedding. I didn’t want them to cry when I was walking down the aisle or when Tarzan and I were saying our vows. I guess I wanted to be the focus of the day and back then it seemed very important to me.
Well, fast forward a year and I realize that having kids at my wedding wouldn’t have been that bad. Heck, dare I admit that kids being there would have still been fun. Kids would have added a completely different element and it wouldn’t have been so awful. See, I can realize that now. Back a year ago, not so much.
And that’s where my friend is.
Just like me, she is adamant on having no kids at the wedding, reception, or even the rehearsal. And even though she won’t admit to me that she is a little saddened by my being pregnant, I know it to be true. If one of my friends would have announced that she was pregnant during my wedding, I would have been a little sad (only for myself and selfish reasons, I will admit) too. I think it’s natural, so I don’t take offense to some things she says/does.
But going to a bachelorette party when I’m not in all my glory doesn’t sound like too much fun.
There’s a lingerie shower first, then we are going out to dinner, then out to bars. It will be a long night and I don’t see how I will last too long. Shoot, I’ve been in bed at 930 pm on average, so making it until 2 am or later just isn’t realistic at all. And this she doesn’t understand.
I hinted around to her that maybe I would go to the lingerie shower and dinner, but skip on going out. She didn’t like this. She asked me, “Why?”
My reasons: Bars might be smoky and I don’t want to be around that. I will get tired early. I will not have fun to be around a bunch of drunk people, pregnant.
Her response was, “Jane, you will still be fun without drinking.” Oh, good try my friend, but so not true. I will be texting Tarzan all night complaining about how much it sucks. I know myself and I’ve never been to a bar in my entire life without having at least one drink. If you go to a bar, you have a drink (well, at least that’s how I do it).
Totally not trying to be a Debbie-Downer here, but I just know that it won’t be that much fun. I don’t want to have to put on an act that it’s the greatest time of my life, when it isn’t. But, I feel like I do owe it to her by attending some of it. I’m not sure how long I will last. I feel like I’m going to want to leave after dinner because I’ll be getting tired.
The fact that she doesn’t understand it makes it tough. I try to be sympathetic because I was that same girl a year ago. I didn’t understand either. Now I’m in a different place and I just hope that she gets it.
She just sent me an i.m. on Yahoo that said, “Are you ready for tonight?”
Jane: “Sure!” (Really, how ready can I be? I just have to throw on clothes and attend. Dumb question, if you ask me.)
Friend: ”Well, don’t sound too enthusiastic…”
Jane to myself: “Seriously, you just typed that? Ugh.”
It’s a no win situation. I go for her sake and suck it up. I know that when I leave early, she will be pissed. I just know it. I know that she won’t appreciate me going to the lingerie shower, dinner, and a bar or two.
And that sucks because I have been trying to hard to make it special for her. Of course I don’t ever say anything otherwise to her because that wouldn’t make me a good friend. I love her to death, but I just wish that she could grow up just a little to realize that I am pregnant and I might be tired.
Or my feet might hurt. Or I might have to pee constantly. Or that drinking water and being around a bunch of drunks just doesn’t sound appealing. Or that I might sneeze and pee and be uncomfortable. Or that I’m going to feel so awkward being pregnant in a bar.
And again, that just sucks. :(
You might also want to read:
- 21 weeks pregnant: Bachelorette party recap, maternity clothes shopping, my baby shower, loving my husband, and so much more
- Missing out on a bachelorette party because of my baby? Me? Really?!
- 5 weeks pregnant: To tell or wait
- Forget Victoria’s Secret, this 19 week pregnant girl is all about comfort now!
- 20 weeks pregnant: Starting to freak out over baby shower, baby furniture, and other overwhelming baby-related things.