Pregnancy week 19 for pregnant Jane has been a busy one, that’s for sure. In a previous post about my gallbladder pain, I talked about going to the doctor and having to get some test run. Well, I got the results back and there is nothing wrong with my gallbladder or anything else in my stomach.
This is one of the many reasons why I’m not a fan of going to the doctors office. After shelling out hundreds and hundreds of dollars (at least now I’m under $100 away from meeting my deductible) and after some tests, I’m told my gallbladder is A-OK along with the rest of my insides.
It was strange actually. The nurse who called me to tell me the results sounded excited and almost blown away about how good my insides are. I could tell by listening to her talk that she was smiling ear to ear and was amazed. I do not know this woman and never met her before in my life. Weird. Anyway…
So basically what this mysterious gallbladder pain comes down to is this: After several doctor visits due to stomach problems, and then what I thought was gallbladder problems… is that everything was stress related. Stress. Hrrgh. Even though my stress levels are 100 times lower than what they were a month ago, I guess that extreme stress did a number on me, caused pain, caused symptoms of a bad gallbladder or stones, etc.
Stress is some really dangerous stuff. It causes all sorts of crazy things to happen to your body. When I was at my limit a month and a half ago or so, I nearly had a panic attack at Barnes and Noble. Shortness of breath, a bad feeling in my stomach, dizziness, etc. Thankfully that only happened once. Never had one of those before – and I never want one.
So I’m doing all I can to keep the father-to-be stress levels down. However, today the stress kicked back up a few notches because we had a Realtor at our house today. I’ll be calling another one or two tomorrow and by the end of this week our house will be up for sale. This is the toughest pill I’ve had to swallow in a long time. I’ve been in a bad mood all day since the Realtor left and poor Jane has had to put up with an upset, angry, and stressed out Tarzan.
Being self-employed with no maternity insurance is a killer in this economy. Going from home owner to renter is the ultimate step back that one could make. It truly is a very large and tough pill to swallow that is only magnified by having a pregnant wife. Then of course our neighbors will all be surprised to see our house listed for sale.
We’ll be asked why we’re selling and where we’re moving to. Jane and I need to come up with some story that we can both stick to and make it sound like it’s no big deal. We’re obviously not going to admit to not having maternity insurance, slow businesses because of the economy, or how we lost a lot of money in investments that went south – although everyone can relate to the last one now-a-days.
Then we have our family and friends. I guess we’ll be sticking to the same story we tell our neighbors. Although, I know people will think it’s weird that we’re not sure where we’re moving to yet. Usually when people move they are moving for a job, to be closer to family, etc. and they know where they are going. We have no idea.
Besides all of the above, once we do move into a new place, I’m not going to want any of Pregnant Jane’s family or any of our friends over. It’ll be just too damn embarrassing for me. That’s going to create some tough times for us… I’m not looking forward to that.
To go from where we are now into something 1/4 of the size sucks. 80% of our stuff will have to go into storage because we’ll have no room for it. I doubt I’ll even want to bring one picture that we have on our wall here to wherever we move because that’ll be too much of a reminder of our current house. So we’ll just live there with the bare essentials with most of our life packed up in storage… waiting for the day we can go get everything and bring it into our new house… a HOME that we plan on being in for a very, very long time. A home to raise our boy.
A smaller house is going to be tough on so many levels especially since Jane and I both work out of our house we require a lot of space; more than most people would think. We have good sized offices, a couple of guest rooms, and other places where we can work. Having choices of where you want to work from eases our A.D.D. minds and makes working from home a heck of a lot easier and a lot more fun.
A smaller house will mean I’ll have a tiny office – which is already driving me nuts merely thinking about it. A smaller house means when I’m trying to work with Baby Tarzan is crying in the background at times.
So yeah, there are negatives. A lot of them. And it’s very easy to sit here and dwell on all of the negatives and about how much things suck right now. But I’m doing all I can not to focus on the negatives. Yes, of course I’m aware of them, but I spend most of my time trying to focus on the positives of this situation.
One big positive is that if we have to move into a smaller house, that would mean we obviously sold this house. And if we sold it, that’ll mean that we accepted someone’s offer, which would then mean I’d have the money I need to start a new business that I want to start. Actually, a couple of new businesses.
The plan would be to work like crazy – and I mean 18+ hours a day 7 days a week crazy to get those businesses up and running and hopefully making money fairly quickly. Starting a brand new business takes a ton of work – especially in this economy. Pregnant Jane and I have been though the start-up phase a few times before, so we know what we’re in for.
And yes, it’s a HUGE risk. Starting any business is. We’ll be using most of the proceeds of the house to get the businesses going. But, where there is great risk, there is great reward. And that’s why the plan is to rent some small little house to keep bills very low and save up for a nice new house that we can buy at the end of the year. That’s the plan.
These are very tough times for anyone, and I would think especially hard for a newly married couple like us. Thankfully, Jane and I have a unique and special relationship that’ll help us get through these tough times. How many other couples would live and work together 24/7? Not many. Most would have killed each other by now if they didn’t divorce first.
We’re best friends – and that alone is what’s helping us get through this. Sure, we have our arguments and little spats like everyone else. And sure, they may be a little more frequent because we both on edge with everything going on. But we know deep down that we’ll get through this and back on top some how some way.
For me, my dream is to get Jane a new beautiful house as fast as possible that has a nice room for baby Tarzan that we can decorate together. I wish more than anything that is something that we could start doing now. I wish that for Jane’s sake because I know how important it is to her.
So, we’ll have to make do with whatever we have in the place we’re renting. Although we won’t be able to make her dream nursery, I’ll do all I can to make it as close to what she wants as possible. I want her to be happy. I want my son to be happy. And I want both of them to be proud of me. Proud that their husband/father was able to pull them out of this crazy situation we found ourselves in. Proud that I made big things happen. Proud that I’m doing everything I can to ensure they are happy and safe.
No doubt I’ll be venting more about this as time goes on. This little road on the journey after the plus sign is nothing I ever saw coming… but since it’s here, there’s no point in hiding behind it. Arrrghhh… so frustrating. But we’re keeping our heads up. We’re staying focused. And life is good. Sure it may not be as good as we want it right now, but at least we have each other. And as cheesy as that may sound, it’s true.
You might also want to read:
- Wife’s pregnancy makes husband’s gallbladder hurt? And other news…
- The real cost of having a baby without maternity insurance: Major news here! Spoke to the hospital today.
- Unbelievable! We did it! We’re able to pay all pregnancy and baby doctor bills… and we saved our house!
- Final Cost To Have A Baby Without Maternity Insurance And Now Health Insurance! The One-Two Punch!
- The real cost of having a baby with no Maternity Insurance, no Medicaid, and no help.