Where do we put the baby nursery? Upstairs or downstairs?

Hi Radha,

We have decided to put the nursery upstairs, despite what most people said for their comments. The thought of packing up and moving my office upstairs and repainting the walls (they are currently pink and brown) just sounds like too much. Plus, the room we picked upstairs is larger so that things won't seem cramped... and there is a closet. My office doesn't have a closet.

I realize that this might be an awful decision when the baby is old enough to actually sleep in the room upstairs and I get pissed off each time I have to run up there, but I'll deal with that when the time comes. Plus, we don't want to stay in this house forever, so who knows... We just might be in a different one come 6 months from now.

We will have a video/audio monitor so I know that will give me peace of mind (or at least I think it will!). I think you just have to think about what works best for you. If you put him/her upstairs, will you be okay with that? Right now, while I do not have any kids, I am okay with it. Of course that might change in time though.

I'm not sure if I helped you out at all, but good luck to you and keep me posted on what you decide to do!

I am interested to know if you made a decision about where to put your nursery.
I came across your blog as I was looking for answers to a similar dilemma.

My master is on the main floor, and my office is in the bedroom next to the master (which is a tiny tiny room). Upstairs I have two large bedrooms (one with two huge walk-in closets), a loft area, and a bathroom in the hall. We are trying to decide if we put the nursery upstairs, or if I should move my office upstairs in the loft and put the nursery in the tiny room next to the master, or if we should move upstairs in that huge bedroom with large closets and put the nursery in the other room upstairs. If we move upstairs, we are using a small hall bath, but then the downstairs room can be used as a playroom with a pack and play for day napping, if needed.
I am confused!

From the looks of everyone else it's clear. My vote is downstairs too. To each their own about sleeping together, but in our house, even after three, I still sleep close. I love the sound of their breathing and the little noises they make.
Kate is 4.5 months and just now is sleeping most of the night in her crib next to us. We made her in our bed, grew her in our bed, and delivered her in our bed and it seems empty when she isn't there.
Good luck figuring it out. And really who wants to walk up and down those stairs all day. However your butt and legs will look great from the workout!! lol

I think most moms feel more comfortable with their babies close at night in the first weeks or months (I kept mine in a bassinet near my bed till they were about 3-4 months old) There is no way I could ever have co-slept with them. I just didn't want to encourage constant nursing-to-sleep. One thing about having them so close is that you hear every sound they make (and they are noisy little things, even when they aren't fussing or crying)
Once mine were sleeping a long period at night, I moved them into their own rooms to the crib. I was against the whole baby-monitor thing. My mom had a very good point. She said to me when I had my first child "If she needs you, believe me- you won't need a monitor to help you hear her!" and she was SO right. The great thing about not having the monitor was that I didn't wake up to every snort and snuffle. Of course I woke up the second they were fussy to feed because mom's sleep with their ears peeled!
Anyway-- to get to your question- I would use the downstairs room that is close to your bedroom. You can always switch to a room upstairs when he's a little older (you'll probably want to redecorate his room by then anyway, and you might have a little Jane by then:-) Climbing the stairs at night and to get his clothing, etc will drive you nuts quickly. You can buy a cute wardrobe to put his clothing in so you won't really need a closet right away.

Contrary to what a lot of you have said, I don't think you should worry about how much noise is around where the baby sleeps when making your decision. A rookie mistake that every first time parent makes is trying to make sure it is quiet whenever their baby is sleeping. All that does is groom a child to only sleep when it is quiet. Most everyone doesn't figure out that it's best to just be normal in terms of loud or quiet until the second child comes. Because it's not like you can keep your first one from being loud while the second one is sleeping. Just another tidbit I've learned...

here's my 2 cents, as the mother of an 18 month old whose room is directly across from my kitchen...

after baby is in bed (whenever you move them to their own room), what area of the house will you be milling around in? put the baby as far from that area as possible. i cringe every time i make popcorn after i put my daughter to bed. LOL

oh, and we had her in our room in the bassinet in the pack n play for 5 months. then she went to her crib in her room. it worked out great for us.

we mostly breastfed, but slowly moved to formula. here's a tip for formula feeding i wish i'd figured out sooner. keep a bottle with the formula powder already in it handy, along with a bottle of water. when needed, in the middle of the night, pour water in bottle. mix and serve. no need to get up.
:)

/end of long winded advice

Absolutely downstairs. No one wants to run up & down the stairs in the middle of the night, whether if it's now or later on... The 10 feet between my room & my kids' rooms are still too long when I'm exhausted in the middle of the night!

As for other sleeping arrangements... my son slept in the bassinet the first 3-4 months then moved to his own room in a crib. The only reason I moved him was because he was so freakin' loud I couldn't sleep! Not to mention I wanted to stare at him every night thinking, "I totally made that!"

But you never know, I had borrowed a bassinet for my son, but I decided to buy one for my daughter. She slept in it twice! She had mad reflux and every time I nursed her and laid her down she'd vomit all over herself. Therefore, she slept in a swing next to my bed for 5 months until the reflux got better and then she moved into her crib in her room.

Now I have a barely used bassinet that I wasted money on. If you want a bedside sleeper, I agree with the person who suggested one of those cool playpens with the bassinet in it. I totally shoulda gotten one of those!

Greetings from up North!
Personally, our son slept in a bassinet in our room until he was about 3-4 months old and then we needed a little space and he needed his own room. We then moved him into the spare room (his nursery) across the hall from our master bedroom. This way, we could be easily accessible to him in the middle of the night when he woke. Now saying that, we still would have to venture downstairs to make him a bottle (breast-feeding was unsuccessful for us :( so it wasn't as great as if I were nursing him and could go next-door semi-comatose!!!) Also, if you happen to have a c-section then downstairs would be even better as stairs are hard right after!!
Love your blog BTW (and your updates on twitter) !

Downstairs. You can always switch it later when he gets older and needs his own room (at like 2 or 3?). With my son, he was in our room for the first few months, then moved to the room across the hall when he started sleeping on a more routine schedule. But occasionally he still needs comforted in the middle of the night or we just check in on him. With all the naps, diaper changes, clothing changes, etc that he'll have in the first years of life, you'll want to make that room as easily accessible as possible.

Holy God, downstairs! You don't want to be waking up all the time and having to trek up the stairs in your sleep deprived, zombie-like state. Recipe for disaster. And then every nap when you put him down you're walking up stairs. I know I sound incredibly lazy, but it does make a difference.

And granted, you'll probably use a bassinet for the first couple of months. We did 10 weeks in the bassinet in our room and then right to the crib. We were very much against co-sleeping and by getting him used to the crib early it really helped with how well he sleeps now. And we have our bed to ourselves!

Plus, another thing, not to scare, you, but what if you have a C-section. You can't take stairs for the first few weeks. This happened to me. I had a C-section with my first. (Two VBACs afterward -- YAYAYAYAY for VBACs!) but I couldn't drive for a month after that or take stairs for a few weeks -- or lift laundry : ) of course, this was 11 years ago back in the stone ages!)

Keep your baby as close to where you will be sleeping in the very beginning for shiggity sure!

I would definitely use the room downstairs! You may want to just make it a temporary room for mini-Tarzan.

I am currently using the Arms Reach Co-Sleeper (http://www.armsreach.com/shop-3/the-clear-vue-12/t... ) in my bedroom. I plan on using this for several months, since babe's room is on the other side of the apartment. Along with having the co-sleeper in my room, I am using the top of my hubby's dresser for night time baby essentials. The co-sleeper also has a compartment on the bottom of it, which is where I store a small supply of diapers, onesies, wipes and anything else I may need for the little guy. Every night I re-stock my little cart. Hubby finds it very funny and calls it my little hot dog cart. Well, it works for me.

Good luck.

I'm another vote for downstairs, not only for convenience sake, but for safety sake as well. That sleepy descent that your future toddler may make could be dangerous and as much as we tell them "don't get out of bed" or gate the stairs, etc. they'll figure out a way.

As far as when does your baby go to their own room, it's just a personal decision. My eight month old is still cosleeping with us, and my toddler still has a toddler bed in our room as well as his-- it's just an easier solution for us, and my kids are only tiny once! so I'm going to cuddle with them and enjoy it for as long as I can-- sooner or later, they certainly aren't going to want to cuddle with their mom!

I would definitely go with the downstairs room for now. You can always move his room upstairs in a year or two when he's big enough to not need you during the night. Trust me that you will appreciate NOT having to shlep up and down the stairs 6 times a night in a bleary sleep deprived state. Babies don't really need an entire closet for their clothes, you can get one of those armoires and a dresser which would do the trick.

Before my first child was born my husband and I wanted to avoid co-sleeping at all costs. Turns out my daughter refused to sleep unless she was next to me for the first three months so co-sleeping in a full sized bed it was. Bad sleep is better then no sleep. She transitioned into a cradle in our room for another month or two before moving into her crib in her room. My second child we had sleep in the pack n play in our room for the first 2 months before we moved him into our guest room for another 2 months before he moved into his crib in my daughter's room.

Neither of my kids slept through the night until around 14-15 months old and now that my 3.5 year old is potty trained she wakes occasionally with accidents that I have to deal with in the middle of the night as well. Or she's scared of monsters, or she's not feeling good, or my son will wake up screaming because he's teething molars, or..... Basically you will need easy access to Baby Tarzan's room at night (and he'll need access to you) for a while.

Dilemma for sure! We had our first son in his own room the SECOND night he was home from the hospital. So it's all going to depend on what you're comfortable with. I would create the nursery/room where you think he will be long-term (the room with the closet/bathroom. And then if you need him near your bedroom during the night, keep an extra crib or the pack-n-play in your office at night while you sleep. He's a newborn and not going to KNOW that he's sleeping in an office and he'll be close to you when he needs you and when YOU NEED HIM! Don't go to all the trouble to move all of your stuff out of the space where you work in the effort to paint and make a space for him when you can create a great room for him upstairs in the space that was meant to be a bedroom longterm!

Well it looks like I am in the minority here, but we only had our son in our room for about 6 weeks. We planned to have him in there longer, but every time he moved or stirred we woke up and vice versa and being already sleep deprived we needed to get it when we could.

Also my room was RIGHT next to my sons room and it was awful so I would have it upstairs. Every movement makes noise, every sneeze would wake him, floors creaking, plus we were downstairs too and if someone came into the house, the baby could hear us talking or doors slamming. Naps would be better upstairs. We did get a pack & play for the living room for small naps etc.. but that's just my opinion!

Julie
jules23 on twitter!

shoot - across the house was too far for us - baby went in our room for 4 months :)
i now live in a 2 story and can't imagine having kids on a different floor of the house... that's just me!

Downstairs. Do yourself the favor of a short walk in the night and prevent your little one from tumbling in case he gets up for mama (which will happen often in the years to come). Once he's walking really good - after the toddler years, move him up there and reclaim your space. For now, you can probably find a small spot for a laptop and a little filing cabinet for the immediate office needs that you don't want to put upstairs in your new office.

My first didn't sleep through the night until he was 6 months, at which time I moved him to his own crib in the adjoining room. Slept like a rock after that and got up at 6am from then on (the little brat).

My second, I breastfed until she was 14 months. She slept in her crib in her room from early on and when she woke in the night, I plugged her in and let her sleep with me until morning. This of course is not recommended if you sleep really heavy or you could suffocate an infant. She spent about 2 months in a playpen/bassinet combo in my room first, too.

With this child (10 and 12 years after my first two), we're putting him in a playpen in mama's room until he is sleeping through the night. Then he's moving to sister's room in his crib down the hall. All our bedrooms are upstairs in this house, though (with a fourth guest room down). I picked this house because it has laundry and bedrooms upstairs - to make it easy on myself. Takes a few kids and a few decades to figure out how the layout of a house really should be! One day we'll probably go to an all-downstairs-layout.

Hope you figure it out and get lots of rest after baby comes. You'll know what to do when he gets here... no matter where you decide to put the nursery. A Graco playpen/bassinet is a MUST HAVE no matter where the crib goes. :)

You'll probably want the baby as close to your room as possible - although, if the baby will be sleeping in your room at first (bassinet or whatever else) it won't matter as much. Once you're healed from delivery, the stairs aren't too big a deal. Unless you formula feed, that is - if you're doing that you'll probably want to be on the same floor as the kitchen for ease of bottles. There are so many options!

Our nursery is upstairs, but so is our bedroom. It is really convenient to have her so close. I'd want to be on the same floor simply for convenience... you can always buy a wardrobe to replace the closet, or move baby boy upstairs once he's bigger and doesn't need frequent attention at night.

Whatever you decide, here's the best advice I have:

1). Buy a Pack&Play with a bassinet. Keep it on the floor opposite of the baby's room. That way, you'll have a place to lay/change the baby whichever floor you're on. This is SO HELPFUL at first. My pack & play had a changing table right on it, and it was invaluable in the first few weeks - no stair running for me. It was also great to have a secure place to lay her when I needed both my hands for whatever reason.

In the later days (once she was too big for the Pack&Play changer, about 3 months or so) we got a second changing table and put it in my office (which is downstairs, like yours). We still use that several times daily, and she's a year old. So I have everything I need both upstairs and down.

2). If you can't do 2 changing tables or the Pack & Play, buy a little basket that you can keep stocked with everything you need for diaper changes and keep that on the floor opposite of the changing table. There are a LOT of diaper changes at first, and one of these two options will save your life. :)

Good luck! So excited to see your nursery as it develops!

My son slept with us in our room until six months, at which point it seemed like he needed his own space. Even so, we didn't put him any farther than the room across the hall because we still wanted him close, just in case.

I'd go with the downstairs room. Our house isn't a good example because it's so small (I envy your workout room and guest room) however our boys (5 and almost-2) both sleep in the room right across a short hallway from us. They're in the same room. Oftentimes, the little one wakes up in the middle of the night and, to keep him from waking his brother, he comes into bed with us. Bad habit, I know, but at 2am it's better than having 2 awake and cranky boys. ;-)

Back to my point though, if either one wakes up (the little one usually because he wants water or has lost his binky, the big one usually because he needs to go potty), I wouldn't want to have to run up (or down) stairs to get to them. Especially if it was late at night and you were half asleep. Definitely put their room on the same floor as your bedroom.

So - first. Some mom's don't ever have their babies in their room. Some new born babies go right into their crib in their own room. (ack!) Other moms are very strict - 6, 9, 12 months and baby HAS to be in their own room.

I personally co-slept with my first until he was 18 months old - and then we put him into a toddler bed in our bedroom until he was two. Not for lack of space. I just preferred it that way. It also helped the transition for my son. It drove my hubs nuts. We had our bedroom, which was nothing but our big ol' bed, my sons toddler bed, and my infants crib. ;) Then our second room was nothing but dressers and a changing table. Then our master bedroom was converted into a playroom/office. It worked for about a year.

I had my second son sleep in a co-sleeper (not a bassinet) for the first 9 months or so, and then he went into his crib. Again, still in our room until he was about one. If you haven't already looked into a co-sleeper instead of any other type of bassinet, really consider it. I had a bassinet and a play pen, hated them. I love co-sleepers and recommend them to all new mommies.

Now, my boys are in their own room, but nothing separates us but a wall. I've always felt that kids need to be as close as possible to their parents. My 3.5 year old still wakes in the middle of the night and comes to bed with us when he has nightmares or trouble sleeping (as does my 2yr old). We've even blocked it so they can't get anywhere but our room or the bathroom. It makes me feel safer to know they can't roam the house while I sleep.

I grew up in a house where I was upstairs in the front of the house, and my parents were downstairs in the back of the house. I didn't sleep in my own bedroom without issues until I was close to six years old. I always ended up on the couch outside of my parents bedroom. ;)

Hope that helps, sorry it got so long!!!

I'd go for the room downstairs for now. You aren't going to be wanting to climb stairs in the middle of the night. Besides, when he gets older, you can always move him up stairs.

As for the no closet, you have a million and a half different options. One thing I can suggest is get an armoire. When we bought my sons crib and changing table, they had a matching armoire that we used to put all his clothes in (I still don't use his closet for his clothes to this day and hes 2!)

I would go for the Room Down Stairs

once the baby is the crib all night do you really want to be runnign upstairs if he wakes during the night ?

our baby will be in the room next to ours upstairs.

P.S had our big scan today and found out we are having a baby Girl we are so excited