It takes coming into contact with just one person to really make me feel very lucky and blessed to be pregnant. Throughout my whole pregnancy thus far, and in my life in general, I try to never think of the negative things that could happen. That could go wrong.
I just see no point in doing so because I will get myself worked up over something that isn’t true and most likely will not happen. Let’s just say that it’s so much safer for me (and my husband) to think about the good in my pregnancy and throughout our life!
Tarzan and I had a really busy day and when we got home tonight, we were exhausted and so hungry. He needed to catch up on some calls, so I volunteered to run out and pick up something for dinner. I went to the grocery store and picked up one of those rotisserie chickens, along with fruit salad and some coleslaw.
The girl that was helping me at the counter stared at my bump at one point without saying anything. I noticed it, but didn’t think anything about it at the time. After she finished getting me the food that I wanted, she said, “You are so lucky. I wish I was lucky.“
Huh? Obviously I had no idea what she was talking about, so I asked her what she meant.
She went on to tell me that she has Turner’s syndrome and that it will be very, very rare and most likely impossible for her to ever have kids naturally. This absolutely broke my heart and I had tears in my eyes. I just wanted to hug her because I felt so sad for her.
She said that adoption was in her future, or that hopefully she could save up money for in vitro. She said that her boyfriend is not currently working and that they are planning to get married, it just hadn’t happened yet. She said he was the love of her life and there’s nothing more that she wanted than to have kids with him.
It was heartbreaking to listen to. My heart went out to her, and at the same time I realized that I am truly blessed to be growing a healthy baby boy in my belly. It made me want to take back all the the times I had joked about being pregnant in the beginning. All the tears that I shed when I got my big, fat positive on the pee stick. All the worrying about if I would be a good mom.
All of that.
I listened to her talk about this syndrome and was amazed at how awesome her attitude was. After all, she made out “lucky” considering all of the other things that this syndrome could affect. What a strong person it takes to be able to carry those emotions and heartache around, all while seeing someone pregnant and being able to congratulate them on it.
When our conversation ended I wished her the very best and went on my way. As soon as I got in my car I cried. For her. For myself. For my baby. For all the happiness I feel about being pregnant. For all the dreams I have for my son. For the hope that one day she gets to experience what I’m going through.
And then, I said a prayer thanking God for blessing me with the incredible opportunity to be a mom to a little boy with the man that is the love of my life.
You might also want to read:
- “Baby Mine” song + Monkey = Tears & Happy Thoughts
- 23 weeks pregnant: Scary time driving in a hail storm alone. Tears involved. Lots of them.
- Only 12 weeks pregnant and already a grocery shopping and food nightmare!
- Monkey, a bump, a trip to the pediatrician’s office, & lots of worries
- Pregnant thoughts about non-pregnant friends
= a post from Mommy Jane 
= a post from Daddy Tarzan
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
Yes we are VERY VERY lucky girls! I read some stories of women that have tried for years to get pregnant with no luck! As soon as me & hubby actually tried I got pregnant. We got married Oct (I had my period on the last few days of our honeymoon) then that following month in Nov my period didn’t come back & I haven’t seen her since, lol!
Sometimes we really do forget how lucky we are!
Before reading blogs I really didn’t have a clue how common infertility really is. Some of the stories I have read have just broke my heart. I have learned so much since I started this ole’ blog.
It really does make you think about how fortunate you are to be able to not only concieve, but to carry a healthy child full term. My boss had been trying for years and years to have a child and did in vitro and finally concieved and didn’t miscarry. She got pregnant with twins, but around the 25th week in pregnancy was put on bed rest because she had a small leak in her placenta. The babies were delivered really early and the little girl ended up passing away after only days of being born, but the little boy made it. He is a healthy little boy now, but of course is smaller than “normal” kids his age, and is a little slower. I almost felt guilty when I concieved and she wanted to talk to me about my pregnancy every time she saw me. There were times I didn’t want to get up and walk by her, because every time I did she would stare at my belly and smile and talk to me about my pregnancy. She was older around 35, and here I was a young 22 year old that was able to concieve and carry my baby full term. I am sure the thought ran through her head numerous times with questions of “why me?” Anyways, yes, being able to concieve and carry a child is a wonderful gift. There are a lot of people out there in the world that can not do such a thing, so we should never take it for granted. I couldn’t imagine not being able to have kids … it would be absolutely heart breaking. I pray for the girl with Turner’s Syndrome … and I pray that one day she will be able to have a child, whether it be naturally or adoption, that her child will complete her like ours have done for us.
I think about that a lot, considering I’m accidentally pregnant with twins. Yes, we were trying, but not for twins and now here we are. We have one healthy, intelligent 2 year old daughter and 2 more healthy babies on the way. I think of all the people that can’t have it happen naturally and have to pay to just get pregnant with one baby or worse, can’t stay pregnant. I know I’m lucky, but my back still hurts and I can’t tie my shoes.
It’s crazy to think about how heartbreaking it must be to experience infertility. I never thought twice about it until I realized how many people actually suffer from it and how heartbroken I would be if I were in their shoes.
What a great story – thanks for sharing. I don’t struggle with infertility (quite the opposite actually. My husband jokes about having super sperm), and I am so glad. I love kids and it would be really hard to know it was impossible or close to impossible.
Another side to it – you heard that your baby was healthy. That is a HUGE blessing to be thankful for. When we went into our sonogram, we expected the same news. It never even entered our minds that we would hear anything else. We were so excited to find out the gender. And when the doctor told us that he had a birth defect (cleft lip and palate), I was beyond shocked. He’s doing fantastic (it was fixed with surgery – we’re still in the middle of it) and I don’t even think about it now, but that was an awful, awful day. Whenever a friend hears the gender of their child at a sonogram and nothing else, I’m silently so thankful for them. Even if they don’t understand, because I don’t want them to.
Babies are amazing. You’ll be astonished how people will completely change when you have him in your arms. One of the coolest things I’ve seen since having my son is how grown men will melt when they see him or women who look like they’re having a bad day will laugh because he’s flirting with them. Or how big burly teenagers get bumbly and giggly around him. It’s the greatest – you’ll love it!
I feel horrible with how much i have complained with this pregnancy nad how i’ve joked about never getting pregnant again because it’s so horrible. but really some days it’s the only way i can make it through without the fear of all the what if’s kicking in. I had a miscarriage a couple years ago and i have been so afraid with this one it has rarely left my mind that i could loose her too.
and when we were expecting to hear all her test came back normal they sent us to a specialist to see if she had spina bifida… thankfully they had a typo that messed with the numbers and she doesn’t have it….
now i’ve been fighting the past 3 days to find out what’s wrong with my baby now… because she suddenly stopped growing and they can’t get me in to get an ultrasound to find out why… and all i can think about is all the what if’s….
ugh… okay i’m done getting all depressing and stuff haha
I have thought many times though about how lucky i am to be having this baby at all when so many women can’t. and it makes me feel greatful even for the baby i have lost because at least i know there was a baby and some day i’ll be able to hold that baby too… like i’ll soon be able to hold this one.
i’m so ready for this pregnancy to be over but i’m finding it’s for differnt reasons than it was last week, i just want to hold her nad see her and know that she is okay. i’ll keep my back pain and not be able to sleep and waddle like a duck for the rest of my life if it were to mean everything is fine with her after all.
I always took for granted that I would have children and not have any complications along the way. Then I got pregnant a few years ago and miscarried. Now, I don’t take anything about this pregnancy for granted. Each week I make it is a huge deal because I wasn’t sure I would get this far. I’m 19 weeks now and sometimes can’t believe it! I always feel for women that have fertility problems or can get pregnant but have problems carrying the baby to term. All of us pregnant ladies are very lucky, and the best part is we know it!
We are fortunate. I wrote once berfore and mentioned that I have a son that is almost 14. My husband and I suffered with infertility for YEARS!!! After 5 years of some expensive infertility treatments, we conceived on our 2nd try of a drug call Femara. (I only mention the drug so that maybe someone out there will find a little hope…this drug tends to work for those that clomid and basic ovulation issues). Plus, I’m just pregnant with one which is a bonus (to me atleast).
Anywho, I would like to say that when you pray for those that are dealing with infertility and such…pray that they gain some acceptance to enjoy the things they do have in life already. It’s going to sound cliche but I got to a point where I realized how lucky I was already in life and had told my husband that we had 6 months and then I was done with trying to conceive. I am ecstatic that I’m pregnant, can’t wait for this baby…..and it’s made all the better because I already had a pretty good thing going.
OOPS..I meant to say that the drug Femara works for those that Clomid didn’t work for and those with ovulation issues. I swear I read my previous post before I submitted it but oh well, human.
I commend you for being so caring towards the woman at the grocery store. Infertility is a heart-breaking thing to go through. My heart goes out to that woman because I know the pain she is going through. And yes, you are a very lucky woman. I too wish that I could just get pregnant. I, personally, have to get surgery to fix my infertility (which will be happening soon). But I love coming here and reading your stories of your pregnancy journey. Reminds me of what I have to look forward to soon!
Just don’t ever take being pregnant for granted. It is truly a blessing.
Yes, we’re VERY blessed. I feel so fortunate and thank God every day for our tiny blessing.
We miscarried twice last year. It was the worst and best year of my life all at the same time because of the losses and then the joy involved in the beginning of this pregnancy. I’ve never been thru anything so difficult. I could barely stop crying for days and days at a time, let alone be very functional. This was after we’d tried to get preg for quite awhile. I really didn’t enjoy seeing other pregnant women, and honestly I was bitter when I heard the stories of pregnant teenagers and women who got pregnant on accident or the first month they started trying. Life didn’t seem fair.
But, honestly, those experiences taught me a lot about life and love and death. We are so appreciative for every day we have with this little one. And I’m always here to help others going thru infertility or miscarriage. I’m much more aware of the fragility of life now.
Actually, I believe our first m/c baby had Turner’s syndrome. She also only had one X chromosome, which is what Turner’s is. That poor woman. But I bet she’ll be the best mommy in the world to her adoptive kids someday.
When I had my children I had no idea how lucky I was to get pregnant so easily. I never worried much about things like miscarrying. I can’t imagine how heartbreaking it must be to want a child and not be able to conceive, or to lose a pregnancy at any stage. That’s what makes this blog even more special– because all of the wonder of it will be recorded for little Tarzan to read one day. I hope T & J continue the blog for many years so that little T will be able to look back and read about his early life. I wish I’d done something like this for my children.
I wrote a little ‘look back’ about my son’s birth on my blog the other day (Mar 21 is his birthday) Childrens’ birthdays are like anniversaries for parents- they bring back all kinds of memories…it’s a wonderful time no matter what the circumstances.
I lost my baby last week at 15 weeks 2 days because she had Turner’s syndrome. A manifestation from the cystic hygroma she was diagnosed with. Most babies with Turners result in a misscarriage. It’s odd, My sister in law lost a baby in August due to a cystic hygroma, that and the malformed umblical was the reason for her. So the same ultrasound diagnosis and 2 different outcomes. Shes going to fly in from out east this summer so her, her husband, me and my husband can see if its genetically linked. The only good news in all of this is that what we had is unlikely to repeat itselfs in us. My OB (my mom) said that women build something like an immunity to it.
I still feel like I am in another world even though I expected the loss for three weeks after I found out my baby had the same thing that caused my sister in law to miscarry her little girl. At least I got to know my baby was a girl and name her, Elizabeth Ann, my darling angel.
I appreciate all of the comments on here and you all are so right!
Needs a sticky baby –
I’m so so so sorry. I hope that you and your husband are doing ok. My thoughts and prayers are with you, and I’m just so sorry that you experienced that. I do wish you the best.
NeedsAStickyBaby – Jane just told me about your post and your loss and I wanted to also say that I am so very sorry. My thoughts and prayers are also with you and your husband.
Tarzan
Stay positive!!! I am convinced that a BIG part of how we ended up with such a happy baby is b/c I didn’t worry about hardly anything during my pregnancy. I was sort of blissfully unaware of anything that could go wrong…all the way thru my 41 weeks of pregnancy and 39 hours of labor, didn’t worry. My husband is super fortunate (can fall into a pile of garbage and come up smelling like roses kind of fortunate) and kept me positive all the time. Matilda is our happy little accident…I couldn’t have planned it any better and she is an absolute joy to be around! Enjoy every minute!!