I’ve heard how pregnancy comments and random touching can come your way during pregnancy. I always thought that it sounded very annoying, but it wasn’t until it happened to me that I realized how uncalled for some people can be.
I’m not sure where to even start. I’ve been compiling some random pregnancy comments and sights that I’ve heard/seen throughout the past week and I’m happy to share with you in no particular order.
1. ”How many months are you?”
This comment poses absolutely no threat of a beating, but it’s what happened next that annoyed me. Yes, I will admit that my answer was dumb, but I just proudly blame it on the lovely pregnancy brain that has taken over all my smarts.
My reply was: “I’m 24 weeks pregnant, I don’t really count in months.” Her reply was: “So 6 months then?” Me: “I guess so.” (I just never think about it in months. My OB goes by weeks, my emails that tell me what to expect go by weeks, so therefore I go by weeks.)
Her reply: “You’re a dumb blonde but with brown hair.”
Me: No comment.
2. Flowers on my toes
I had a pedicure a few weeks ago and I told the lady that I just wanted french on my toes. Easy enough, right? I settled into my seat and enjoyed the back massage and a magazine while I was waiting.
When she was finished she asked how I liked what she did… Um, the lady painted 3 hot pink flowers on both of my big toes WITHOUT EVEN ASKING ME. No offense to anyone who regularly does this, but it’s so not my thing. I think I’ve done it once and that was when I was going on vacation in the Caribbean and felt like being different. Only time.
Obviously I hated these dumb looking flowers, but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings so I said nothing… Until I got to the counter to pay and I saw that I had been charged $8 extra dollars for these flowers that I didn’t want. Oh no, I don’t think so. I won and didn’t pay for the extra flowers. I hate sneaky people. And if she thought that my pregnant belly was too big to really see my foot, she was so wrong. I should have made her take the flowers off.
3. ”You’re 6 months pregnant? You’re so small for being 6 months pregnant. Ann, can you believe she’s 6 months pregnant? She doesn’t look 6 months pregnant.”
This is the first time that I’ve gotten this about my bump, but I didn’t like it at all. It made me feel like my baby isn’t growing as he should or that I’m not doing my part in helping him stay healthy. It’s just a weird question and all I could say was “Yep, 6 months pregnant and I feel huge“.
It’s the truth.
4. ”Who’s that girl?”
This next comment hurt my feelings and made me wonder why some people feel it to be necessary to share certain comments with me. There was absolutely no point in telling what I’m about to share with you and really I just had to wonder if her brain was working properly. My guess was that it wasn’t.
My friend’s mom was talking to me and told me this story that involved me and her husband not being sure who I was.
Friend’s Mom: “So Colin asked me who you were last night.”
Me: “He didn’t remember me? I’ve met him a couple of times.”
F’s Mom: “I told him who you were and he said, ‘Wow, she’s gained weight!’ Then I told him that you were pregnant.”
Me: Speechless and trying to hold back the tears that so desperately wanted to shoot out of my eyes.
Now, it’s all fine and dandy that this little conversation took place between that husband and wife. Fine, I’m pregnant and surprise, surprise I’ve gained weight. What’s not fine and makes absolutely no sense is why the wife felt the need to share this little conversation with me. Did she think that it would make me feel good to hear that someone thought I’d gained weight and she set him straight?
Pregnant or not, the gaining weight part is hard for me and comments like this made it that much worse. And the crazy part is that it’s not like I’ve gained 50 pounds either. I’ve gained 19lbs in 25 weeks, so give me a break! It’s not my fault that the weight hasn’t gone straight to my stomach (oh how I wish it would!). It’s sad, but my face is fuller, my arms have gotten some extra padding, as have my butt and legs. But again, I’m pregnant.
5. My too-poofy hair
I decided to treat myself and get my hair done for a night out with my husband. I just wanted a sleek ponytail with a little poof on the top of my head. Nothing crazy and very simple. I thought I had explained this well to Mary, but apparently I did not. When I looked at my hair, the poof on the top of my head was HUGE. No lie. I hated it and hated to have to tell her that I hated it. I tried to let her know in a subtle way, but that did not work.
Me: “Um, Mary, can you make the poof less big and pin it down with a bobby pin? I feel like it’s just too poofy for me.”
Mary: “No, it looks just fine. You need it poofy to be proportioned with your bump.”
Then she walked away. She was done and did not change it. And, this is the SAME lady that told me that I was small for being 6 months pregnant. Ugh.
6. ”What is your definition of a mom?”
Seems like an all right question to ask, doesn’t it? Well let me elaborate just a little more for you so that you can see the inappropriateness shine through.
Betty asked how I’d been feeling and I was honest – Feeling fine lately, but have weird bumps on my face due to my pregnancy hormones. She quickly corrected me in telling me that pregnancy had nothing to do with the bumps on my face. The bumps are from something you are eating, she told me. I wanted to tell her, “When you become a dr, I will listen to you. Until then, the bumps are from pregnancy considering I’ve never had them before.”
Naturally, she asked if I’d been wearing makeup and I told her that makeup seemed to aggravate the bumps and make more of them, so I only wore makeup on special occasions, not just to run to the grocery store.
Her next question was, “What is your definition of a mom? Is it someone that doesn’t wear makeup and lets herself go because she’s running after a child?”
Me: Pretty speechless again, but I answered, “No, that is not my definition of a mom. I’ve been sick and have had migraines with this pregnancy, and I don’t see a need to wear makeup every day.”
Betty: ”Well just make sure to take time for yourself when your son gets here. Wear makeup and nice clothes, it’ll make you feel better about yourself.”
Me: “Um, ok.” So weird.
7. Rude people
There are so many people in the world that are just self-centered and rude. They don’t go out of their way to hold the door open for you, or to get up and give you their seat. They are only in it for themselves. Personally, being that I have a huge heart, I cannot stand people like this one bit.
The other day at my OB’s office a very pregnant lady came through the door. It seems that my OB needs a bigger waiting room because there are just not enough seats in there to accommodate everyone that comes through the door. Before this very pregnant lady came in, another pregnant lady entered and my husband gave her his seat (just have to pat my husband on his back for not losing him gentleman qualities).
Fast-forward to this really pregnant lady and there was only 1 husband sitting in a seat. The other seats were occupied by pregnant ladies. He did not offer to get up. He just continued to look at his Blackberry and go about his business. I was so annoyed and wanted to give her my seat because she was a lot more pregnant than I am, but she walked outside and just sat on the ground to wait. I was so disgusted with this guy. I mean, really, didn’t your mom teach you any manners, even though this situation should be a no-brainer?
The best part is that his wife looks over at me a few minutes later to ask how long I’d been waiting because… her husband really needed to get back to work. Ugh. Like all of the people in this waiting room have nothing else better to do than just sit and wait. Give me a break. I lied to her and told her that I’d been waiting for almost an hour. Serves him right to wait and wait if he can’t even be a decent human being.
8. Rude people Part 2
I was at the grocery store to buy milk, creamer, and chicken. I picked up one of those hand-held baskets to put my goodies in and headed back to the dairy section. As soon as I put in a gallon of milk, the damn basket handle broke. After fidgeting with it for a few minutes, I just left the basket in an aisle and carried my milk and creamer. The aisle I had picked to be my shortcut to the chicken just happened to be the cleaning products aisle and I need granite wipes and stainless steel wipes.
I grabbed those, picked up the chicken, and my hands were completely full. The food covered above my bump to my chin. Anyone could have seen that I was loaded with stuff. I went to the self checkout and took my place being the only person waiting. She had a basket full of items (clearly not obeying the 20 item limit rule) and this frustrated me. She looked at me and then turned back around.
She did not offer to let me go in front of her with my 5 items so that I could free my hands. Nope, she went to the next checkout and started to check out her gazillion things.
Now, I don’t want to use the pregnancy card all of the time, but pregnant or not, if I saw someone like myself I would have let them go forward. Wouldn’t you have?
I just don’t get people nowadays. Most are rude and only look out for themselves.
You might also want to read:
- Random ramblings about getting older
- 21 weeks pregnant: Pregnancy hormones strike again. Location: Sephora
- You can just call me “Fat Cousin Itt” (pregnancy weight related)
- 38 weeks pregnant: OB pregnancy appointment, date night, & my labor dream
- 23 weeks pregnant: Doctor appointment today
My "favorite" rude question (which I bitched about in my blog): "Was it planned?' Seriously? Did they just ask me if this baby is an ACCIDENT??? I don't think that's any of their business, but if they used their heads they'd realize that I've been married for SIX YEARS to a man with whom I have a fantastic relationship, we're very stable and responsible, and we've done a lot of the traveling that people seem to wish they'd done before they have kids. (The people who have asked this question all know that I'm married, stable, and well-traveled.)
I find that the weeks/months thing is hard to explain to people because they start counting the weeks from the first day of your last period, when in reality, you don't conceive until a couple weeks after that date. (Not that I find myself trying to explain this to rude people, but I'm just saying... ;)
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