because that’s just how I’ve been feeling these past couple of days.
Fat because of just feeling huge. Lovely pregnancy weight.
I know, I know, I’m pregnant, but I still feel rather large. I feel larger than I’ve ever felt in my entire life. In fact, I am larger than I’ve ever been in my entire life. It’s a hard pill to swallow.
Yes, I’m a baby and even shed a few tears about it today to Tarzan. I told him how I so wished that I was one of those girls that gained weight in their belly. (You know you do too!)
But no, I’m the girl that’s gained weight in my face, arms, butt, thighs, legs, AND belly. Oh and my feet have grown, but that’s not really due to fat.
I guess I can thank genetics for my pregnant body, even though my mom was quite skinny when pregnant with me.
Cousin Itt because of my hair.
Yes, that’s right, my hair is out of control. It’s far too long and way too thick. It’s amazing that I do not shed even one strand of hair when I get out of the shower.
I used to be able to grab a chunk of my hair when it was wet and handfuls would come out. No more, I’m afraid.
Now I realize that it could be worse, so I’m technically not really complaining about it. I’d much rather have too much hair than not enough, but it’s just getting too long. And long and thick are not a great combination at all. Oh, you can add dry in that mix too. Yuck!
In fact, if you were on twitter yesterday, you would have seen that I was thisclose to cutting my own bangs. Luckily my husband called and told me to put down the scissors. Then I asked (read: begged) him to cut my hair. I told him it would be SO easy: I’d put my hair in a ponytail and he would cut it. Simple.
He declined, told me that I would regret it, and told me to make an appointment so I’d feel better about myself. What does he know?!
Back to earlier today when I was crying to Tarzan…
I realized how completely dumb I sounded because I was crying because I’ve gained weight. I’m pregnant and housing a baby in my ute so it’s natural and actually a really wonderful thing. But no, I don’t think like that.
Instead I just focus on how my body is changing and it’s really getting to me.
One of my best friends came over today. We were going to look at paint for the nursery, have lunch, go shopping, and just hang out. Before she got to my house I looked in the mirror and felt semi-cute in a long maxi dress. Then I saw her in shorts, a tank top, and she looked skinnier.
I felt unattractive in like 0.2 seconds. Just like that.
Of course she told me that I looked cute and I told her that she looked so much skinnier than last week when I saw her and then we left. That’s what friends do, right?
Then, as if it were a sign from up above, something miraculous happened while we were eating lunch. We went and had Mexican food and while stuffing our faces with chips and queso (I’m not kidding), the older couple behind us stood up to leave. My back was to them, so I couldn’t see this.
All I felt was a presence standing really close to me all of a sudden. It was the older woman from that table. She said, “I just wanted to tell you that you look beautiful. When are you due?”
I wanted to say, “Um, excuse me, but I think you have the wrong pregnant lady.” (I actually wanted to say “B!tch please”, but refrained.)
I told her my due date and she told me that her daughter is having her first baby next month and how excited she is. It was really cute.
After she left my friend said, “That compliment came at the most perfect time!” and I agreed. (I had told her my new nickname in the car earlier.)
How funny though. Just when I’m feeling at my lowest (a bit dramatic, eh?), someone pays me a compliment. And a really sweet one at that!
Next time I see a pregnant lady who is close to her due date, I will remember this moment. If she is pretty, I will tell her and hope that she doesn’t think that I’m coming on to her. Ha, ha.
Maybe I’ll just stick to complimenting her bag, shoes, or her hair. Everyone needs to hear an honest compliment and it’s great when it comes from a stranger.
Of course my husband tells me that I’m beautiful all of the time, but he always has. I still appreciate his compliments and love them, but it’s also fabulous to hear it from someone that you don’t know.
So please, don’t call me “fat cousin itt”. If you do, I promise you that I will ignore you and then I will go and cry in private.
But if you do get anything out of this post, try to compliment someone that you see, pregnant or not. We all need to hear nice things once in a while. And you just never know when that person will need a pick-me-up. It’s amazing what a few little words can do and how they can quickly brighten up someone’s day!
You might also want to read:
- Postpartum weight loss update… if you want to even call it an update
- 19 weeks pregnancy appointment: Big baby, movement, and pregnancy weight gain
- Secrets on how to lose weight and belly after pregnancy: Tarzan interviews Jane about weight loss after your baby
- What do you call your baby during the weeks of your pregnancy? Peanut? Bean? Sweet Pea?
- Day 2 of losing pregnancy weight: What does an orgasm have to do with the gym?
[...] I know, I know, I’m pregnant, but I still feel rather large. I feel larger than I’ve ever felt in my entire life. In fact, I am larger than I’ve ever been in my entire life. It’s a hard pill to swallow. (…read more) [...]