Tuesday, September 30, 2014

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33 weeks pregnant: Conversation with my mom about our baby boy’s name

by Jane · 25 comments

We have a boy's name at 33 weeks pregnant and my mom gave us her two cents about the name.My mom:  ”I see you put the wall letters up.  I guess y’all are set on using that name?”

Me:  ”Yes we are.  I know that you aren’t fond of it.  Why?

My mom:  ”It’s just not a name that I thought you would pick out.  It sounds more like Tarzan than you.”

Me:  ”I actually am the one that picked it out and Tarzan liked it too.”

My mom:  ”Oh.”

Good grief, mom.  It’s not like we picked out a really bizarre name.  In fact, it’s in the top 100 boy’s names, but I’ve never met anyone with the name before.  

Her favs are Mason and Ethan.  No offense to anyone who has used either of these names, but they are not my style at all.  I’m just not a fan.

This, my friends, is the exact reason that we were keeping it a secret.  

It’s not like her opinion (or anyone’s for that matter) will change my mind, but still… You just don’t want to hear anything “negative” when it comes to the name chosen.  If we would have waited until he was born, no one would have said anything about the name.  They’d be way more excited to hold him and love him.

Guess we learned our lesson and will definitely keep the next baby‘s name a secret.  If it’s a girl then, we have a name picked out and it is unusual.  Pretty, but unusual and I just know that we will get some funny looks.

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{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Jen

I have simply told everyone that our daughter will be the first person to be introduced to herself. People usually spend enough time puzzling that one out that I can quietly escape. :)

2 Helen

I cn’t remember if I mentioned this before, but when I had my son 17 years ago and we named him Devon, my 70 year old aunt had never heard it as a child’s name before and didn’t like it. She didn’t say so, but for the first 6 months of his life, she called him ‘George’ I thought it was just her cute nickname for him! It’s funny now, because it’s interesting how names just grow with your child and ‘become’ them. I can’t imagine Devon having any other name now!
Good idea to keep the names secret until the birth though. I don’t know why anyone gives their opinions anyway- it’s none of their business:-)

3 Saffa Chick

The name we have picked for our baby girl is a secret – my mom keeps trying to convince me to tell and I won’t! I hate how people go “oh I had a dog called that” or “I know a xxx and she was horrible” etc. Once the name is given to the child I can punch people who are rude about her name!

4 The Grown Up Teenager

Ugh, I hate it when people diss your choices. My niece has a very uncommon name. (Easy to spell and pronounce, if you’ve got a brain, but I’ve never met anyone else with her name) and people constantly go, “Ick, why would you pick that one?”

First off, she’s named after her father’s grandmother, so there’s sentimental significance, so its not pretty when someone insults that. Second, it wouldn’t matter if there wasn’t. Its THEIR child. Respect their decisions, I say.

When (see how I said when? Yeah, I don’t want girls) I have a boy, I want to name him Emmett. I’ve gotten lots of ick faces about that….until Twilight came out. Revenge is sweet.

5 Shari

Oh, family can’t keep their noses out of it. Both of my girls are M names, but with the second being Madison, I never heard the end of it from my mother about how I named her after a dead president. Geesh. Then we thought about naming our son Max to keep the M theme we never even were trying for. Mom once again stepped in and told us that it sounded like a dogs name. But then my daughter called the unborn baby Maxy and it brought up images of a maxi pad. Nope, so my daughter was the reason we stayed away from Max. So we broke the M cycle and my mother was please even though that was never my intention. Stick to your guns. It’s your child, not hers.

6 Jessica

I have a similar story to long to use for a comment but we are also keeping the name a secret for your reasons as well. I am having a girl, due in September and she will have two middle names. It is killing my mom that she doesnt know, my fiances mom is ok with it though, she understands :) Good Luck!

7 Lauren

That conversation with your Mom is the exact same one I have had with mine. I swear, the same words. What’s with Mom’s? Guess they just want to make sure you had some say in the name and you husband didn’t choose it. Oh Moms! Gotta love em!

8 Emily

Just wanted to let you know that our little one finally arrived- and we had a boy! His name is Kevin Michael, no longer a big secret, and so far we’ve only gotten positive feedback. Best of luck for you in the next weeks as you anticipate your arrival!

9 Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com

I’m in the same boat. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I’ve told my husband that my only regret is that we told people THE NAMES.

My BIL, for example, asked what we’d picked for a boy. At the time, we’d narrowed it down to two names, both of which were family names that we both loved. And his answer was to say, “Oh. No. Don’t do that. That’s gay.” Later, when he sneezed and I asked if he was alright, he said he was fine, just allergic to our name choices.

Next time, I’m keeping the names we pick secret. No doubt about that.

10 Shana

I totally agree! We are keeping our name a secret until he is born too for the same reason. Everyone seems to have an opinion and I don’t think it’s right when we mention a possible name and people say “oh” or “really?” in a condesending way! It’s our kid, not yours! We did have Ethan on our list, but once we saw it was the #3 most popular name we took it off the list. It’s like naming him John or something! :) So we are keeping the name secret too, to everyone’s chargin, but better than the negativity toward the name itself!

11 Jill

This is why my husband and I decided to keep out name to ourselves! I don’t care who I annoy keeping his name a secret – it is worth it not to have to hear any one else’s opinions.

12 Angel

Good for you! We told our family the name of our baby before we had her. My husband almost convinced me to change it because of the feedback we received. I finally convinced him we should go with the original one. I even asked our HR friend to convince him that her name would be fine and not affect her ability to get a job later.

Crazy!

13 Emily

Here I am commenting again, because I’m keeping myself busy through CONTRACTIONS!!! So excited. Anyways, Tracey, we also have made-up names. Usually we say Gertrude or Kermit! My little brother always refers to his “nephiece” as “Gertie Magoo” because I told him how my MIL used to tease my husband that she was going to change his name to Mr. Magoo when he was a kid.

14 Tracey

We went a little further. When anyone asks the name we tell them “Jaffar Montgomery Cornelius”. We figure everyone will be relieved no matter what we name him now!

15 Emily

We don’t know the gender of our child (who better get a move on soon…I was due last Sunday and am getting impatient!) and so we have boy and girl names picked out but haven’t told anyone. It’s driving my mom nuts (not mad, just crazy impatient/annoyed) to not know the names, and she says “that’s not normal, nobody keeps that a secret”. So I’m glad to know that she’s wrong- it really isn’t that unusual to keep the name a secret! Our reasons for the secrets are mostly just that we think it’s more fun to have everything be a big surprise when the day finally comes, plus to avoid criticism of the chosen names, and to have the flexibility to change our minds last minute if we want to and not have anyone all confused because they thought it was going to be a different name!

16 Nikki

I know the feeling. We let a friend know the names we picked and immediately she started suggesting alternative names. When we made it clear that we had picked the names we got “well I guess that will work” – I think you are 100% right about keeping the name a surprise until you introduce the little one!

17 TechyDad

There are some people who won’t be satisfied unless you do things their way – even if those things are up to you (like choosing your baby’s name). I should know. My father’s one of those types of people. He still makes comments about me moving back to their neck of the woods nearly 9 years after I moved here (which is closer to my wife’s family). If my child is sick, he’d “subtly hint” (which for my father means coming out and saying it) that if we lived closer to them, my mother could watch our kids at any time. All I’d have to do would be quit my job, uproot my family, move all the way over there, and then look for a new job in this “lovely” economy. Simple, right?

I’ve found that the best way of handling people like this is to just smile, nod your head, and do whatever you want. Arguing tends to be a waste of effort as they aren’t going to change their opinion. So just tell your mother that the name choice is yours and that’s that. (Me have parent issues? Nah. ;-) )

18 Sara

No offense to your mom, but who cares what she thinks?! This is your child. I don’t have kids yet, but I will keep my names a secret for this very reason.

I wouldn’t worry about it though, once they meet him, they’ll fall in love and won’t think twice about the name! :)

19 Brittany

Ugh, exactly. Before we found out we are having a girl, we each had a boys name we liked. When I told my MIL my choice she scrunched up her nose and was all, “Oh I don’t like that at all.” And my mom didn’t like the name my husband chose. It was so annoying that we decided to keep the girl name we chose a secret until she’s born. This is irritating everyone to no end, but I don’t care! It’s so rude to put down a name someone has put a lot of thought into and really likes! Especially when it’s not your baby! Grr, people :p

20 Formerlymac

I do I know how you feel! We didn’t tell anyone with our first, but it slipped out when I was around my mom at about 8 months along. She sounds a lot like your mom. In fact, she said the same thing… “It’s not a name I would have thought you would pick out.” But we picked it based on the fact that it wasn’t on the top 100 baby names list and we didn’t know anybody by that name: Spencer.

But if your mom is anything like mine, she just needs time to adjust. Once the baby came out she was totally used to the name. I gave her even more time to adjust to my daughter’s name, Tatum, so by the time she came out she was already used to it. Neither of the names are names she would have chosen and she let me know it. But ultimately she knew it wasn’t her choice. Your mom will come around. Just ignore the doubt. That’s what I did. If you let it get to you, then your mom has control. And that’s never fun. ;)

21 MVP

We haven’t told anyone, which ticks my family off. But oh well. We won’t even tell strangers, because I just know it’d stick in my mind if anyone, even a stranger, made an off comment or scrunched up their nose at it. Or worse, if they just raised their eyebrows.

22 Megan R.

We leaked the name as soon as we found out the sex of our baby. Couldn’t help ourselves. We wanted her to have an identity and for people to be able to call her something besides “the mini”. MOST people are too cowardly to tell you they don’t like the name. Instead they say things like…”well, isn’t that different” OR ” that is an interesting name”. Of course we know that this means they DON’T like the name we chose. But, to hell with them…it is OUR baby, not theirs! They don’t have to like the name! Our sweet little girl will be here in August, and her name is Finnley Piper. Don’t like it? Not my problem! ; )

23 Chelsey

My son’s name is Caelex. When my husbands grand father got wind of the name I recieved a nasty letter in the mail (he lives a bit away) telling me that my son would not and could not ever ammount to anything because he had such a weird name. telling me he would not get accepted into schools and everything eles. I feel ya on the names… I just had to write a letter back, saying thank you for your concern, but at this day and age I do not feel that his name will cause him any problems. Infact I think it will make him more well known with his peers.

24 Monica

Exactly! Our babies’ names are a big secret.
We haven’t told anyone even though they have asked… repeatedly.
Way to stick to your guns!
Good luck!

25 Tracylynne

We decided to keep the middle name secret from our family and friends since its the only thing that we really have left as a surprize. I swore up and down we were going to have a girl, if that was the case, her name would have been Laney-now that we know its a boy we switched it to Lane-hubby’s name is Lance. We had the names picked out since we got married and said if we had a baby that these would be the names. The middle name was picked by me since it was the first time I realy felt the baby kick-I was listening to Johnny Cash and I thought Cash would be a really different middle name. Wrong….the girl next to me at the Dr. office on Tues is naming her boy Kash and I have heard of several other people naming their boys the same. It just broke the top 1000 baby names. Oh well its better than what hubby picked for a middle name “Starter” I said no way!!! do you blame me?

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