I just got back from sitting in the nursery for a few minutes. I originally went into the room to get an idea for how big of a rug we need in there, but I decided to sit on the rocker for a moment and take it all in.
The room was completely still and I was surrounded by bags of baby clothes, toys, blankets, stuffed animals, and other baby-related items. I sat there and looked at the crib. In several weeks our son will be laying down in there and I began to think: In several weeks my life will have a new meaning. In several weeks it won’t be about Jane and I any longer, it will be all about our son.
How does one prepare to be a father? The question danced around my mind as I rocked in the chair.
I already know Jane is going to be a great mom. I can easily picture her sitting in the chair, rocking our son as she feeds and talks to him. She’ll be a natural mom, as I assume most woman are after battling those often wild and crazy pregnancy hormones.
But for us fathers-to-be, does it become natural the moment our baby is born?
How does one prepare to be a father?
The days of the nursery being silent are nearing an end. Soon there will be sounds of our baby crying, laughter from us as we watch him make faces, and commotion when our friends and family come over to visit our newest member of our family.
Life is about to dramatically change. And for many life-changing events in our lives, we don’t have the chance to prepare for them. Sometimes things just happen. Although having a baby right now wasn’t planned, we’ve had the last 34 weeks of Jane’s pregnancy to prepare. We’ve prepared the nursery, we’ve prepared what we can around the house, and we’ve prepared by stocking up on baby items.
Jane’s body is preparing to deliver our son into this world. Her hormones have prepared her body physically and mentally and she’s ready to become a mom.
But how does one prepare to be a father?
I stood up from the chair and walked over to the crib. ”Everything is about to change“, I said. I then remembered my father telling me that a love for a child is the most powerful force in the world. There is no way to describe it; the only way to know it is to feel it.
And it was at that moment that a realization came to me.
The best way I can prepare to be a father is to get ready to feel a love I’ve never felt. A love that is unmatched by anything else in this world. A love that bonds people together forever. A love that can only be experienced between a parent and a child.
And in several weeks from now, I’ll experience that love first-hand. Jane and I both will – and it’s amazing that we’ll be experiencing that love together.
As I walked out of the nursery, I turned around and looked in the room and paused before I turned off the light.
How does one prepare to be a father?
Love.
P.S… I have added Jane’s Pregnancy Week By Week Pictures page with recent photos.
You might also want to read:
- Another father-to-be realization: Learning the sex of our baby makes things REAL.
- Father-to-be ramblings about Dadalings and soon to be happenings
- Pregnant Thoughts From A Soon-To-Be Father
- Pregnancy Week 23 Pregnant Belly Picture And Yes, Tarzan Is Here.
- 16 weeks pregnant father: Sympathy pains, mood swings, 5,000 Twitter followers, and what in the heck am I reading?
= a post from Mommy Jane 
= a post from Daddy Tarzan
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Aw. You are going to be such a wonderful dad and I’m so glad that we are entering in this special, but kind of scary time together. I hope that our son grows up to be just like you and I cannot wait to see you holding him. Talk about a new kind of love that I can’t even imagine.
You are such a great guy and I am so lucky to have you as my husband
You will kick ass as a dad and I can’t wait to see you. I love you.
Awwe, thanks beautiful Pregnant Jane. I love you so much and I can’t wait to see you holding our little Tarzan, too. You’re going to be a GREAT mom – there’s no doubt about that!
Just don’t get mad at us when Tarzan Jr. and I make a mess in the kitchen making homemade volcanos explode, or when we stay out too late catching frogs together down by the pond.
LOL, I promise I won’t. I’ll probably sneak down when y’all are having boy time and try to videotape the moment because it’ll be so cute.
Just teach him that cleaning up is part of the fun too. Ha, ha.
You two are too cute. One suggestion…as you are thinking of all the cute and cuddly things you will do with the little guy, practice your duck and cover moves as well. Those boys like to share in the fun with diaper changing. So go ahead, step up to the changing table and practice some bob and weave or quick grab of extra diapers/burp rags to cover the essential areas of his anatomy.
Enjoy the last few weeks of reflection – they are important but go too fast.
Tarzan,
My wife sent me a link to your posting. I sympathize with you. As Dads-to-be, we do not have the ramp up of hormones, feeling the kicks, etc. Feeling and watching the tummy move are great but more a curiosity than a bonding moment. I’m with you… stay supportive and try to be prepared for feelings beyond what we can currently comprehend.
A friend of mine sent me a video a few weeks back. I added it to my wife’s blog. It’s Sprite commercial of all things but it showed what a man will do for that bond.
Jenny: LOL! Duck and cover moves? Uh ohhhh…. more things I have not considered or even thought about!
Bobby: Nice to have another dad-to-be stop by! It’s a strange feeling. The anticipation is building up to meet our son and there is a matched anticipation for knowing I’m going to soon feel something I’ve never felt before. This is a wild ride – in many, many, many, many ways!
that is a great post. i actually started to cry. i think it is because i have the pregnancy hormones coursing through me as well. my husband is about to be a dad for the second time. i know he is really scared since he doesn’t know how he will juggle working full time, taking care of me, the house & our two daugthers (the first one being VERY reliant on her daddy).
you have so many good things to look forward to–my daughter loves her daddy so much–she found a picture of us during my first baby shower & she kissed the picture of her dad saying that she loved him. She said she wanted to bring the picture to school for show & tell so they can see her daddy (she is 3 years old). i asked her who else is in the picture & she said Mommy. I asked her if she wants to show everyone the picture of me too and she replied, curtly, sure. No appreciation!!! I guess Dads Rule.
Tarzan,
Great post, glad to hear someone is going through the exact same things. I often find myself sitting in the nursery trying to imagine life on the other side. I’m come to the conclusion that you can’t really ever be ready. While I found the shear panic of first finding out (we are at 38 weeks now) has grown into excitement which has now growing into “let’s get this show on the road I’m tired of talking about it”, I’ve found it odd that any time you express any anxiety to anyone about life after a baby they all immediately dismiss it.
While I’m sure they are all correct in that it will be the greatest thing you ever do (but, what if I find myself planting an atomic bomb into the side of an asteroid deflecting it from a collision course with earth and hence saving all of humanity…. not likely, but they don’t KNOW it won’t happen) it doesn’t get rid of the concern that life will never be the same and maybe you’ll miss the old life.
Anyways, great post, fun site, best of luck!
I’m about to be a dad in 6 months….not sure if I’ll be ready when that time comes