Well today it happened. My first stranger pregnant belly pat. At 35 weeks pregnant. Ew.
I was completely disgusted (strong words, I know) and I was completely not expecting that to happen when I walked into the post office this afternoon. Who would have guessed?
I had all intentions of blogging about my wonderful baby shower this past Saturday, but that will have to wait until tomorrow.
Let me share the pregnant belly touch with you…
First of all, we get so many solicitors at our house. People selling furniture off their truck, selling frozen food off their truck, selling paintings that are rolled up. You name it and I’m sure those people have come to our door to try to get us to partake in their goods. I cannot stand it at all.
I actually want to get a sign for the outside, but that’s just one thing that I haven’t done yet.
This morning when the doorbell rang I saw what appeared to be just another solicitation so I did not answer it. In fact I walked into our bedroom so that I wouldn’t be seen until the person went away. It seemed like a good plan at the time.
After ringing the doorbell twice, the lady went away. Tarzan was outside while all of this was going on, so when he walked inside I told him that we had another person at the door trying to tell us something. I also told him how annoyed I was by it all.
He was like, “Oh no” and walked outside. Wouldn’t you know that he was expecting a package and he had to sign for it. Of course I had no idea of this, so I felt bad that I didn’t answer the door.
Being the good husband he is, he kept telling me that it wasn’t my fault at all; he should have told me that he was expecting something. Still, I felt really bad…
So I told him that I would go to the post office to pick up the package. I had errands to run anyways.
By the time I got to the post office it was already 4pm. (I should also point out that the post office is at least 25 minutes away from my house. There is another post office that it literally 3 minutes away and I have no idea why we don’t go there to retrieve packages in times like these.)
I walked into the post office and was immediately knocked on my ass because apparently the a/c wasn’t working. The line was long and I just wanted to turn right back away, but I didn’t. After all my husband was waiting on this damn package and it was my fault for not answering the damn door.
Ugh.
As soon as I get in line, the man in front of me turns around to start making conversation. I hate this in any situation. I don’t enjoy small talk with someone that I will never see/talk to again. It is absolutely pointless to me.
That being said, I am still a nice person, so I agreed with the man when he said that it was hot outside. Then his eyes traveled down to my belly and he made some dumb comment like, “oh yeah you must be hot!” (So original dude).
Then before I knew what to expect his hand touched my pregnant belly. I wanted to make a comment about how inappropriate this was. Or hit him. But I just froze, completely in shock that people feel that this action is normal to do.
TO A COMPLETE STRANGER.
He went in for the touch again for the second time and then I started sending Tarzan call me signals in my head. This was serious business and I was extremely uncomfortable.
Oh, did I also mention that he would not stop talking either.
He started telling me about his 10 kids. (That’s right, 10. 7 with his wife and 3 with 3 other women.) And his wife’s 4 miscarriages. Her D&C. Her 5 c-sections, complete with him in the room watching everything. Her last c-section that he wasn’t able to attend because of the extra scar tissue that surrounding her stomach. His son that is 6′6″ and the call from a coach.
And on and on and on.
Oh and this was within the first 7-10 minutes of me standing in line. A line that was not moving whatsoever and I knew that I needed to test the bond with my husband to call and rescue me.
And it was so freakin’ hot that I was about to sweat.
I was trapped and hating every minute of it.
And then my phone rang!
I didn’t care who it was, even if it was the wrong number. It was a distraction and a way for me to get away from this nonstop talking man that touched my belly.
It was my husband. See, we really are connected since he got my call me signals.
LOL, I realize that it was a complete fluke, but I was happy nonetheless.
I kept him on the phone for a LONG time, at least 10 minutes. The line did not move at all. We were running out of things to say to each other, so we got off the phone. Immediately I started to text him and let him know about this weird man in front of me.
Texting kept me occupied until the guy’s phone rang and he took the call. Thank you Lord.
I kept on looking down and pretending to look busy on my phone and then the line started to move. The guy was called up to the counter and was in and out super fast. Luckily when it was my turn it took a lot longer because the package didn’t appear to be there initially. I was fine with waiting because I did not want to be accosted in the parking lot.
After I got the package and when I was sure that it was safe and that the coast was clear outside, I made a mad dash to my car, locked the doors, and sped away.
The guy might have been the nicest, most genuine man in the whole wide world, but there is never, ever, ever a reason why a nice or mean guy or girl should ever come that close to my pregnant bump.
Unless that person is my husband. That’s it. No exceptions.
You might also want to read:
- 17 weeks pregnant: My dog wants to be next to my pregnant belly
- 21 weeks pregnant belly picture: Our baby is kicking Jane’s butt! I mean belly…
- 15 weeks pregnant belly: it’s now official! Jane has the bump-a-lump.
- Update below post about uncomfortable feeling in my pregnant belly/pelvic region
- 17 weeks pregnant belly and guess the sex of our baby!
= a post from Mommy Jane 
= a post from Daddy Tarzan
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Ugr, sorry to hear that. There is so much vulnerability being pregnant. This hasn’t happened to me yet but I’m hoping it doesn’t. Hopefully that will be the last time for you. It’s so creepy!
Isn’t it just the worst? I haven’t actually had a stranger go for the bump grope yet, but friends and family seem to think it’s fine… ugh. Mostly people I’m not that close to of course. Yuck.
I know what you mean, too, you really want to say something (or smack them!) but it always takes you by surprise and you just freeze… so frustrating.
Although I am as big as a house I have not had this happen. I have had a couple friends reach out and touch my belly but not a total stranger. I haven’t been very sociable either, the weather is so hot it is really making me irritable. At least I can crank the AC at work and not have to worry about the bill…..
I’m impressed it took 35 weeks to happen to you. I made it to 17.
I do try to be nice about family and friends and neighbors touching my belly. Those are all people who have known me for years – some were there when my parents were born – so I know they don’t mean it offensively, they’re just excited.
BUT other people? Strangers? No way. No thank you. You are much more polite than me about it because I always tell them exactly how I feel, which is basically “you are making me uncomfortable. Please do not touch my belly.” In one case it wasn’t enough, so I just reached out and started rubbing their belly. They got the message.
I don’t know if I’m the exception to the rule, but I actually like people touching my belly (albeit not weird men in line at the post office). It feels like they’re acknowledging and welcoming the baby, not that they’re rudely touching me. Then again, I come from a place where everyone hugs and kisses every time we meet, so maybe I’m just used to physical contact…
I agree with you about the chit chat, though. I hate having to nod and pipe in nonsense to strangers. Ever notice the people who talk out of the blue aren’t really interested in listening?
WOAH! I have not been groped by a stranger, and I really hope to avoid that for the next 11ish weeks/until Bean makes his or her debut. I really, truly don’t mind friends and family touching my stomach, but I would probably punch a stranger if they tried anything like that. You are so patient and kind!
Also, I think it is both amazing and wonderful that your husband called at exactly the right time. Glorious!
I’m at 37 weeks right now, and I’ve been getting belly touches from my husband’s family pretty much ever since I met them (met them when I was 18 weeks along). I’ve always been uncomfortable with people touching my stomach, and I try to make a point to let people know that I’m still uncomfortable with it, but even the people I know who’ve known that for years seem to think it’s okay to rub my stomach. They aren’t even content with a pat, they actually RUB my belly.
The baby’s on my side, though.
Even if he’s visibly moving around, the moment someone lays a hand on my stomach to feel, he stops and won’t move again. The only exception to this rule is my husband.
“After I got the package and when I was sure that it was safe and that the coast was clear outside, I made a mad dash to my car, locked the doors, and sped away.” — LOL, this made me laugh so hard, I actually imagined that in my head and it just looked so hilarious!
im so happy im not the only one that can’t stand people touching my baby bump….for what ever reason people seem to got offended when i tell them not to touch me. The people that are brave enough to touch with out asking do get a quick smack. I don’t walk up to anyone and just start rubbing on there bodies. why now that im pregnant everyone things its fine. My mother in law says im keeping her away from makin a relationship with her grand son..i just tell her she’ll be alright when he gets here you to can bond all you want.