I’ve heard about the Ricki Lake movie “The Business of Being Born” for some time now, but haven’t actually looked into watching it. The other night as I was scrolling down to see what was on tv I saw that the movie was coming on one of the movie channels so I was happy to get to watch it since I obviously wasn’t being proactive on finding the movie out on my own.
It sort of made me wish that I watched it earlier in my pregnant instead of waiting until I was 37 weeks pregnant. Oh well, what do you do?
I would recommend anyone watching it just to get a better idea on the whole hospital, midwife, birthing center, intervention options. And I would recommend watching it early in your pregnancy so that you can actually form your own opinion about how you want to give birth.
I’m still okay with my choice of having my OB deliver my baby in a hospital, but I will admit that next time around I just might go a different route. I like the idea of a home birth, but I am not sure that I could do that. I think I would worry too much about the “what ifs” if I was at home. What I do like about home births is the fact that you move around, could be in a tub, etc, and when you have your baby, it’s all about you and your new baby.
You aren’t hooked up to tons of machines getting tons of medicine and the same goes for your baby. It seems peaceful and I like how the bonding between mom and baby was present. Also, the natural high after childbirth seemed really fabulous too.
It’s funny because when we first started blogging about paying out of pocket for my OB and the hospital cost, many of you suggested the whole midwife route. I will admit that I made a decision to use my OB because it’s just what I was comfortable with, but I will also admit that I probably should have done a little more research on the alternative. I like the atmosphere in the room and the attention that is given with a midwife.
And, not going to lie, the cost is pretty fantastic too. (We have paid over $10,000 for baby costs so far. You can see the breakdown of costs here. I hear that we could have paid about $4,000 instead.)
What I have known from the beginning of my pregnancy is that I am not a fan of having to be induced. I do not want to be given synthetic drugs to move along the process; I just want the baby to come out naturally when he is ready. (Of course I’m talking about him being healthy for all of this to work.)
In fact, I’m more terrified of pitocin than I am if I had to have a c-section. I don’t like the idea of being super drugged up. Yes, I am planning to get an epidural, but that’s really only when the pain is not tolerable anymore. (After watching the movie I did think about what a badass I would be if I went completely natural, but I don’t want to get in over my head there either. I like having the option of the epidural, should I still go that route.)
Another thing that I learned after watching “The Business of Being Born” is how c-sections have skyrocketed in the past years. I can’t believe how many people elect to have them without having a medical reason to do so. I checked my hospitals c-section rate and while it’s 43%, they do deliver over 10,000 babies per year and have an excellent NICU.
I guess it’s all relative, but I just hope that my labor and delivery goes smoothly, without many synthetic drugs. I hate the idea of having to stay in the hospital for 2 days (hopefully not more). I hate the idea of being hooked up to machines and having a catheter with an epidural. I hate the idea of having to labor in a bed solely.
But, while I can list many negatives of the hospital experience, I love my OB and I trust that I’m in excellent hands with her. She knows what I hope for in my labor and delivery and assuming my little boy is healthy and on the same page too, I know things will be as close to what I want as possible.
And seeing “The Business of Being Born” and knowing what I know now, the next pregnancy I will be a lot more informed about my options and, who knows, I just might try out a birthing center, home birth, or end up in the hospital again. But I’ll worry about that pregnancy when the time comes.
Right now I’m just focusing on meeting my little man and having a little getaway… in the hospital. Doesn’t that sound like fun?!
You might also want to read:
- 30 weeks pregnant: A very expensive day indeed, but Little Tarzan has been paid for!
- 38 weeks pregnant: We finally packed the hospital bag for labor and delivery
- Update to in-laws being in town for 2 weeks after baby Tarzan is born
- 36 weeks pregnant: Checking things off of my “to get done before baby comes” list
- 38 weeks pregnant: Going to the movies is not a great idea
= a post from Mommy Jane 
= a post from Daddy Tarzan
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
I watched that very early on in my pregnancy,
Its a great doco, i really learnt alot. In Australia they dont use pitocin, but it really opened my eyes.
Even thou i am delivering at the hospital using the doctors services, In Australia you only stay in hopspital for 48 hours for vaginal birth and 72 hours for C – Section after that yopu are sent home and Midwife comes to house and does house visits for the first few weeks not sure how often thou. do you have a service like that in the states? Oh and that is all free ‘
I can’t believe we are so close to meeting our babies its so exciting, I had my baby shower on the weekend it was so nice to see my family and got some great presents for bubbs
Good luck for the next few weeks i hope to see some pics of the completed Nursery, Our Nursery still looks like a bomb has hit it hehehehe
I know what you mean. Home birth and birth centers weren’t options for us because of health complications (mine, not baby’s), but I often wish I’d known more about how my complications affect pregnancy and birth earlier in my pregnancy. I don’t regret a step of the path we’ve taken, but I will definitely be more informed next time around. I’ll still have a hospital birth, but I’ll at least consider different options from what we currently have going on.
I watched the Business of Being Born very early in my pregnancy- I think I was 2 or 3 months pregnant. It honestly scared the shit out of me. Nothing has traumatized me in so long. Watching all of those mothers giving birth at home, moaning, in the nude, squatting….watching that one woman squatting on the floor and then the fluid all comes out, I don’t know, it really wrecked me. I even had nightmares for weeks, and would wake up in a cold sweat. I don’t know why it affected me so badly. One could argue that I’ve grown up in a world where birth has been sanitized and made into a medical problem. HOwever, I think it is a more gutteral reaction. It isn’t that I think birth is gross, its just I don’t think it’s beautiful in the physical sense- tearing, blood, fluid…I know it is a beautiful experience for many women in the transcendant sense, and I’ll find out for myself in a few months. But I know that women can still die in childbirth. It may not be a medical problem, but problems can arise during birth and delivery, and this movie made me think of the time when women didn’t have access to proper medical care and died during childbirth. It scared me so badly.
I think we need to reintroduce the midwife into the hospital, and let the midwife and doctor work together to deliever babies, and we need to have more options for women at the hospital, so it isn’t so “medical.” But, we need to still be in the hospital, in my opinion, for the rare, outside chance that something does go wrong. I don’t know. I’ll now more about childbirth in 3 months, I ‘ll let you know if I’ve changed my mind.
I’ve heard of this and may need to watch it now, though I’m not pregnant. My daughter was born via c-section (emergency, unplanned) and it’s surprising how the majority of people (including my husband) assume that’s I’ll just schedule the birth next time. I’m still undecided… my experience left me doubting my body, so I worry about the right choice. I read and see things like this, and I wonder what it would be like the other way, and I think I’d like to know. Definitely lots to think about!
I hope you’re still feeling well – so exciting that you’re so close! My water broke at 37w3d – can’t wait to hear that you’ve had the baby!
That movie was actually what convinced my husband that a homebirth was the right path for us. Prior to him seeing the movie (well before we were pregnant, but while we were planning on getting pregnant soon), he was dead against it. After the movie, he warmed up to the idea. Midwives don’t practice in hospitals here and we have no birthing centers so it was either hospital or illegal homebirth. Like you, I’ve had a very healthy pregnancy so a homebirth has been a viable option for me, despite the legal/logistical hurdles in my state. I feel so blessed to have that one-on-one attention from my midwife and I think that a lot of that has made me feel comfortable with the idea of childbirth. (And yes, our medical costs have been less than $4,000.) I am praying that these last 3 weeks (or so) are free from complications and that my birth is the natural, comfortable event I am dreaming of.
If you’re a reader, you might want to check out the book “Baby Catcher” by Peggy Vincent. It is a book written by a midwife who has practiced in both hospitals and at home. Definitely another interesting look at childbirth in America.
Love your blog and I’ve been following along since I found you!
I finally caught that movie the other night too and it pretty much went along with a lot of the things that I’ve been reading. I want a natural/drug-free childbirth, but I don’t really want a homebirth. I hope that I get what I want. I guess I’ll find out in 9 weeks!
You mentioned that you are fearful of pitocin but want an epidural. You might want to do your own research, but from all I’ve read, two pretty much go hand in hand. Epidurals tend to slow down labor/contractions so they will likely give you pitocin to keep things on track. It is part of the “cascade of interventions” they talk about in the movie. Of course with the drugs, you won’t feel the intense pitocin generated contractions, but I just thought I should mention it.
There is nothing more exciting than meeting your child for the first time; whether it be your first or third. Babies just bring so much joy and love into your whole family. I have two children of my own and I had them totally natural (ouch) only for the simple fact that I was right with you on the drugs. I was scared that they would harm my baby and I did not want to be “tied” down in bed so to speak. On the other hand, my daughter and daughter-in-law have both gone with midwives with the births of my beautiful granddaughters and they were the best. I was fortunate to be with my daughter from beginning to end with her pregnancy and boy….what an experience! It sure is different being on the coaching end (was glad to be there though). The bedside manners of the midwives was awesome and so personal. They seemed to make everything go smoothly and explained everything from beginning to end until the baby was born. If I had to do it again (which I will not) that is the route I would choose. I loved them and they were very helpful and very knowledgeable also. There was a pediatrician doctor on duty just in case the midwife needed one. Everyone has their own trust in doctors and as long as you have that with your OB; I am sure everything will be just fine. So excited for you….your baby boy is going to have a great welcome into this world!!! Good luck and keep us posted ;o)
I was able to find a midwife practice that delived in the hospital with both of my pregnancies, in 2 different states. It was a wonderful combination. I had the mental security of being in a hospital ane the freedoms that a midwife provides- laboring not only in a bed, the encouragement and support they provide. I did not tear with either birth annd that is because of their car in massaging the area and making things streach naturally instead of it being a whole forceful procedure. Birth need not be scary. It was definatly HARD WORK, but not scary.
*On a note to those mothers that did have a scary delivery, some with sad outcomes, my heart reaches out to you. Everytime I read of a frightning birth story, feel like I should apologise for having two normal deliveries.
I like to encourage mothers to research midwives, they are wonderful people and I hope their practice is not driven out by too much modern medicine. I know women that had their MD’s take complete control over the delivery room and their birth experience is nothing but horror. From being yelled at, rushed, and told they were doing things on an inconvient day, ect..I just hope those were the minority.
While my husband and I were already pretty sure we wanted a home birth, The Business of Being Born pretty much sealed the deal for us. A home birth just fit so well with our views of pregnancy and birth. Plus, the cost is a lot easier to stomach.
However, the decision was made easier by the fact that my husband’s sister has had two home births. So, we already had a midwife that we knew was trustworthy (we had each been to a birth of my SIL’s and got to see the midwife in action). Plus, this midwife does home births at HER house, and she lives just around the corner from a hospital. So, we basically have an ideal home birth setup, in my opinion. I honestly don’t think the decision would have been as easy if the situation was different.
I do believe that each woman should always go with whatever makes her more comfortable. I’ve heard time and again that labor is so much easier (and even safer) when the mom is comfortable and without fear. So, while I think home birth is an extra fantastic choice, I would never try to convince one of my hospital-bound friends to have a home birth instead.
Lastly, one of the previous comments mentioned that epidurals and pitocin pretty much go hand in hand. That is my understanding as well, so you might want to research it or ask your OB. The issue is that an epi will slow things down, so they give you pitocin to speed things back up again, which sometimes makes labor too hard and rough on the baby, so they up your epi dose, etc. Just something to think about!
First of all I have been following your blog every since I found you on The Motherhood. I love coming home from work and while I am whinding down reading your blog. I never would have thought about blogging about the day to day things that go on in the pregnancy. I think the best one yet was when Tarzan left without telling you and he went for the test drive. I laughed so hard I cried.
As for the Business of being Born…I watched the dvd before my husband and I started trying. I loved the movie! It was a real eye opener…the whole c section things scared me! I wondered about that a lot especially since I am addicted to all things baby…A Baby Story…Bringing Home Baby…Deliver Me….and all of the shows had a common theme…there were A LOT of c sections being preformed. I like the idea of a hospital birth with a midwife. I want to be the one in control and I fear for any doctor who gets in my way. I can’t bring myself to go to a Birthing Center, not when I can’t stay overnight. I need the extra time. But that is just me.
I agree with you Jane. I think Michael’s death was a tragedy. My heart goes out to his family especially for his kids. I love the fact that you mentioned him. I hope all goes well for you. I look forward to reading about it.
I haven’t seen the movie, so I can’t comment on that, but I just wanted to toss out there that you can have awesome experiences with MD’s too. I delivered my son a month ago in a hospital, with no pain medication, and I had the options of walking around with my mom and husband, sitting on a birthing ball, or laying in bed- and I used all three! My doctor is a family doctor, not an OB-GYN, so he’s still taking care of me and my son. He was very supportive throughout the pregnancy and labor & delivery, always reiterating that this was my show, and he is there to support my decisions. The nurses were awesome, and the care afterwards great too- I was supported in my choice to breastfeed, to have my son stay in the room with me, etc.
So, I guess my point is that it’s not necessarily about where you give birth or midwife vs. MD. I think a hospital, birthing center, or home can give you a good or bad experience, it just depends on a lot of other factors. The biggest thing to help make sure you have a good experience in my opinion is to not be totally set on exactly how your birth will happen- be flexible and open minded so you don’t end up disappointed if it doesn’t happen “how you planned” because it hardly ever does!!
Me and hubby have seen that movie at least 3 times together (and the last time, he chose it)….I’m 18 weeks now and have already been to my local birthing center (The Birth and Women’s Center in Dallas) and I’m soooooooooo excited.
Sure this is not my first pregnancy but when I watched that movie about a year ago, I knew for sure that the birthing center would be our only and final option. I’m not going to risk the health of my newborn on rouge doctors. The first pregnancy the doctor threatened me that if I didn’t push hard enough that he’d take me to go get a c-section… O_o (umm, okay then…) I never forgot that….nazi germany anyone???
Anyway, I’m very happy with the choice to use a midwife….they aren’t some old witches from the middle ages or voo doo queens..or retired hippie (as seen in that J Lo Movie, The BackUp Plan…oh gawd…how distorted is that??) No, mine is so darn nice and sweet…..treats me like I’m like a Hollywood star. And let’s not forget that my insurance is covering the majority of the cost, so our bill is only $2500.00 or so which includes all visits and delivery….yeah, good for me AND THE ECONOMY!!! A win, win situation.
I can’t wait to deliver….they will put imprints of my little one’s feet on the wall to memorialize the center….and dad is the first and only one to hold the baby as they take their first breath….so it will be a special moment for him…..
This movie, changed our lives and it’s my hope that it will revolutionalize the way women give birth in the US….I’m only in my twenties and I GET IT!!!!
“Go Ricki, Go Ricki…” (from her days of being a talk show host…lmao)