Pregnant Jane has been asking me for the last few days to confess on our pregnancy blog about my “packing for the hospital” ordeal. Now before I dive into the whole “packing for the hospital” bit, Jane wanted me to share what I have prepared in our car for you.
The other day to get the ball rolling, I did something that has become a target for laughter for Pregnant Jane, and she seems to want to show and share with anyone who goes into our car!
Hidden behind the backseat is a shopping bag filled with three large towels and three large garbage bags. To me, this seems to make a lot of sense because of Jane’s water breaks in the car, or she is leaking all over the place on the way to the hospital, it only makes sense for me to use the towels and garbage bags on the seat and wrap Jane in them.
I mean imagine it… We’re driving down the road and all in a sudden, “WOOOOOOOSH!” and “SPLASH!” Jane’s water breaks and water is squirting out from her vagina going everywhere like a uncontrollable water hose squirting all over the place. The windows would be covered, I’d be covered, and the inside of our car would be a huge mess!
I could quickly pull over, grab the bag of towels and garbage bags and quickly cover the interior of our car and if needed, ourselves from the water squirting all over the place.
Or, if Jane’s water breaks at home, I could rush to the car and quickly make a little nest of garbage bags and towels on the passenger seat for Jane to sit on. To me, this makes total sense to do. It protects Jane, me, and our car from getting soaked by the explosion of water comparable to Old Fateful, I’d imagine.
Although Jane and her friends think it’s funny, I can sleep well at night knowing that when our bags are packed and we’re driving to the hospital while Jane is in labor, we’ll have a nice and dry drive. I’ll be the one with the last laugh and a very, very rare, “I told you so”, which I’ll wait to say when Jane’s hormones are back to normal. 
Now as far as what to pack for the hospital when your wife is pregnant – and when to pack for the hospital trip, Jane and I have been having a little issue here. Well, let me correct that…. Packing for the hospital has been a BIG issue, for me anyway!
I think it was about a week ago that I mentioned here that with Jane being around 9 months pregnant, that we really needed to get on the ball and start packing for the hospital. And how much do we have packed?
ZERO.
Zilch.
Nothing.
Each and every single day I feel the massive urge for both Pregnant Jane and I to pack our bags and have them ready by the door. With each “ouch” and “whoa” she says when Baby Tarzan moves I’m freaking out because our bags aren’t packed yet. My biggest fear is that Jane goes into labor, we have no time to pack, run to the hospital with Jane in her PJ’s and me in my boxers, and we’re stuck wearing that for a few days.
Or worse, I’m stuck wearing one of those hospital gowns with my ass hanging out the whole time we’re at the hospital because we didn’t pack our bags soon enough!
So day after day, I tell Jane, “We need to pack tonight! We have to!” Jane is all casual and calm about it. She’s more relaxed about it than anything I’ve ever seen her be relaxed about. WTH!?!? You’re 9 months pregnant! Your pregnant belly has reached maximum capacity! Baby Tarzan can come out at any minute. We’re in the green, meaning he can come any day, any minute, any second! AHHHHHH!
We need to pack now – we have to! We’ll have no clothes to wear. No deodorant. No toothpaste. No underwear. No camera. No video camera. No computers. No nothing! We’ll just show up to the hospital 1/2 naked (but dry thanks to the towels and garbage bags), nurses and doctors will be looking at us like we’re crazy, and my first photo of me holding Baby Tarzan will be of me in my boxers, 1/2 naked, dirty, smelly, and wishing we had packed the night before!
Pregnant Jane, we need to pack for the trip to the hospital! Right now!
You will be 38 weeks pregnant tomorrow! 38 weeks! That’s 38 out of 40. Meaning Baby Tarzan can arrive ANY day now. Meaning your husband is officially freaking out. I’m going to be a father any day now! WHOA! A dad? Me? Wait, we need to pack our bags! He’s coming! 38 weeks of pregnancy means he’s just about finished baking and will want to come out soon – maybe even tonight! Packing for the hospital is an absolute must!
And what has been Pregnant Jane’s response each and every single time I have asked her if we can pack our bags for the hospital stay? Here it is….
She says something like, “If we pack now, that’s when I’m going to go into labor.” My reaction is, “WHAT!?” She has gone on to say that she has a feeling that when we’re all packed and everything is ready that Baby Tarzan will decide it’s time to start making his move. She says it’s the final thing to do, and once that is done, the labor will begin.
WHAT!? How is that possible!? She has said this to me over and over again – and what’s crazy about it is that she is so calm and so sure about it. She is very believable about it. She almost calmed me down and got me to think that way a few times. But thankfully I snap out of the pregnancy spell and the urge to pack RIGHT NOW kicks back in.
I’ve warned Jane that if she doesn’t pack soon, then I will for her and I’ll look for the craziest outfit I can find for her to wear for the trip home from the hospital to pack! Now obviously I wouldn’t do that to my beautiful Jane, but I’m trying to get her motivated to pack now. The clock is ticking LOUDLY! I have a feeling that Baby Tarzan is looking at his watch right now and saying, “huh, I guess it’s about time I get out of here. I have things to do, places to go, and people to meet!”
The good news out of all of this is that Pregnant Jane told me that we will FOR SURE pack tomorrow. However, she has said this to me many times over the last couple of weeks. I don’t think I can wait much longer! But, come hell or high water, I’m going to pack tomorrow – even if it’s just me packing my own stuff. I need to pack. I have to pack. I just have to and need to – we must pack now! It’s almost time! We must hurry and pack our bags!
So, with all the above said, what does an expecting father pack? Here’s my list of what I’ll be brining along with Pregnant Jane, to the hospital with me when she goes into labor… (Remind me to bring Pregnant Jane with me when I rush out the door and jump in the car and drive to the hospital!)
What A Soon-To-Be Father Is Bringing To The Hospital
1. Two pairs of shorts
2. A pair of jeans
3. Three pairs of boxers
4. My toiletry bag with all the goodies like toothpaste, deodorant, a comb, floss, etc.
5. A pen and a notebook in case I want to write or draw a picture
6. Laptop
7. Video camera
8. Digital camera
9. The bag of baby stuff, like Baby Tarzan’s first outfit to come home in
10. A hat
11. Swimming trunks (so I can shower with Jane – and so a nurse doesn’t see my manhood item that got us into this situation)
12. Two or three books to read
13. Gum to chew on
14. My cell phone
15. My iPod
16. A roll of quarters and cash for the vending machine if I get hungry or thirsty
17. Oh, and I can’t forget the most important…. my pregnant wife in labor!
Number 11 also reminds me of something… I heard that you cannot have sex for six weeks after your wife has your baby. Six weeks. Six weeks? I know that we went for a few of those no sex for six weeks at the beginning of Jane’s pregnancy, but I don’t remember any of it. It must have affected me so much that I blocked it out of my mind.
No sex for six weeks. Oh no… Another subject for another day. Anyway…
So why all these extra items for the trip to the hospital? Well, a friend who recently went through this was happy he brought his laptop and iPod. He and his wife were in their room for a good 24 hours before she gave birth. They just hung out, watched TV, got on their computers, and played a game or two.
So I want to be prepared to make sure I’m not stuck watching the “how to breast feed your baby” show on the Mom-To-Be channel or whatever it’s called for hours on end.
Oh, and I’m also going to bring all of the receipts and statements I have for the $10,000 + that we have paid to the hospital and Jane’s doctor. (See the cost to have a baby without maternity insurance post.) I don’t want any costly surprises from anyone and want to prove that everything (I hope!) has been paid for!
Anything else a father-to-be should bring to the hospital?
Anything I’m forgetting?
OK… I need to go…. I seriously think I should start packing…. RIGHT NOW.
You might also want to read:
- 36 weeks pregnant: Checking things off of my “to get done before baby comes” list
- 38 weeks pregnant: We finally packed the hospital bag for labor and delivery
- Cost To Have A Baby: We Broke The $10,000.00 Mark. Plus, Is Pregnant Jane In Labor?
- It’s 4:46 AM. Jane’s water broke at 4 AM CST. Called Doctor. She said head to the hospital NOW!!!
- 35 Weeks Pregnant Belly Picture And The Preparations Begin.
= a post from Mommy Jane 
= a post from Daddy Tarzan
{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }
Good job! I’m glad that you let all the readers know how funny you are being… and I mean that with all the love in the world.
And as many times as I’ve told you, water breaking is not like the movies. It’s not going to be a gush of water seeping out. It will not be projectile either. You will not get wet and I guarantee that.
I just know that you are going to be way more nervous than I will be and that’s ok. I’m prepared to ask the nurse to give you drugs so that you don’t freak out (or pass out) and miss the whole experience.
Oh and I’m pretty sure you’re not going to need to bring jeans. Remember, we live in Houston and it’s freakin’ hot outside. I promise that jeans will be a waste!
But I do appreciate your worry and I promise that I will start getting things together tomorrow, just like I told you I would. No need to worry babe.
Hi, I’m expecting on July 23rd as well! this is also our first child, I’ve been packing very slowly but the bag is partially filled.
I suggest you bring some munchies in the bag–I got my husband some trail mix he likes, granola bars and gatorade so he doesn’t even have to leave the room while I’m in labor.
I noticed you’re bringing electronics, I would also bring the chargers–just in case. I find it easier to remember to bring the charger than remember to take the battery out of the charger and put it into the camera at the last minute. Good luck to you guys! I’m hoping my girl holds out until the 23rd, still have a lot left to do.
I would also add some things to suck on for Jane. I brought Jolly Rancher Lollipops. Keep in mind, not all nurses think that’s ok, but one of my did, and I took advantage of it.
Oh, and for the record, Your water breaking can be a huge gush. I got up off the couch and Niagara Falls. I had to change clothes three times before it dawned on me that perhaps putting on a huge pad might keep me from having to bring another several pairs of clothes before we arrived at the hospital. Also, it was my idea, but we kept a 30 gallon hefty bag and some old towels in the car as well. I put the hefty bag down on the seat first, and the towels on top of them, that saved our seat from any leakage that the pad didn’t catch. (Your windows and such should be quite safe, so one of each should suffice).
So, poor Tarzan, I can see some validity in your neurosis .
Don’t listen to Jane. Bring your jeans, because the hospital could very well be FREEZING! You just never know. I personally think the bags should have been packed weeks ago. Jane will be regretting not packing when SHE HAS NOTHING at the hospital. Pack your bag tonight! Jane just might need to learn the hard way not to wait until the last minute.
Um, I’m with Jane. My water broke at home and it was a trickle at best. It was nothing a pad couldn’t take care of (although we did put a single towel on the seat of the car, just in case).
Don’t forget your chargers for your electronic gear. Also, you may want to pack some snacks – like granola bars or something similar – in case you can’t leave the room. When I was in labor, I was kind of scared, and I didn’t want my husband to go far so be prepared for that.
Also, Jane is a genius – bring yourself some Aleve or whatever you normally take for headaches, etc. It can be a tense process, and stressful at times, and the nurses don’t tend to take too much time on Daddy, unfortunately.
Hope you’re both all packed soon!
Oh, and lastly? Jane is so right. My water broke the day after I finished packing my bag (at 37w, 3d). These babies know, I promise!
Gotta say that you are quite nervous, Tarzan!! I read this and couldn’t stop laughing but I know that having your first child and being ready is the #1 important thing. The part about Pregnant Jane’s water breaking all over the place (it really doesn’t happen like you think it is going to) was the funniest. Having the towels in the car is a GREAT idea and may come in handy. Believe it or not, Pregnant Jane will be able to tell when she is ready to go to the hospital….Baby T is going to make sure of that!! As she gets closer to 40 weeks her OB should start telling her what signs to look for and when to call the office to see if you should go in or wait it out….i know WAIT it out seems a bit much after waiting 9 full months. If she is lucky she won’t experience (which almost every pregnant woman does for their 1st child) the braxton hicks. Those are the worst and it sure really feels like you are in labor but really you are not. Anyway, good luck to all three of you and I love your blogs. Glad that you and Jane are sharing it with all of us. Now you had better get back to packing……
Tarzan, you’re adorable! It reminds me of my Grandpa- when my husband and I were heading 4 hours away the day before my due date, we stopped at his house on the way out of town, and he says out of the blue “do you have some plastic to put on the seat in case your water breaks?” and I’m speechless. When I finally said no, we didn’t , he wanted to go get a tarp from the garage for me to sit on. I managed to get away without the dirty tarp, and without giggling too hard, and by the way, the trip went fine. My son didn’t arrive until a week later, and my water never broke until delivery anyways!
My water breaking was a huge gush but then after that I really didn’t notice any more leaking. Of course, at that point I was in full-blown labour so I was kind of distracted
As for sex… um… every woman will be different as to when she’s READY for sex. Jane may not be ready at the 6 week mark. I’m 5 months post-partum and I’ve attempted to have sex ONCE… called it off early… I just don’t have ANY libido. I’m too busy being a mom to take up the sexual aspect of wifehood, and thankfully my poor deprived husband is being very understanding about it. I’m sure he’d love some sex, but he’s also not pressuring me — which I appreciate.
Anyhow. Exciting! You are so close
Yes packing now is good. I went into labor at 35 weeks and we were so NOT prepared!
Laptop and cameras are good–books, though, you might want to leave at home. I think you may be too hyped up to read much…
OH bring snacks! My water broke on his way to the cafeteria after I assured him that nothing would happen while he was gone (I was in labor for 27 hours at that point and the nurse was checking my cervix and accidently broke my water.) My husband was soooo pissed that he missed it while trying to get food!
Bring chargers for anything that needs it.
Bring your wife’s Boppy or other feeding pillow if you have one (we forgot ours.) And you may want to bring pillows or blankets for yourself.
And this next part has nothing to do with packing–but remember to be nice to the nurses, doctors and hospital staff. The nicer you are to them, the nicer they will be to you!
PS: Sorry to break it to you, but I had my baby 12 weeks ago and my poor husband and I still haven’t done “the deed” yet. My body isn’t what it use to be and I am a little weirded out by it (it is now a food source and I am still getting use to things “down there.”) And my Hubs and I are exhausted all the time anyway.
WOW, Tatiana, it must SUCK to be your poor husband. Don’t be surprised if he is having an affair if this keeps up!
My wife had an excellent delivery. When she left the hospital she was feeling very well, no pain, no sore… In our case we did not have to wait 6 weeks for sex. I think we do not wait 2 weeks!! So, depends…
Since I had the babies at home I don’t have “what to bring” advise. Towels seem like a great idea in the car. I layed down plastic on my carpet in my bedroom between my bed and the bathroom. I figured if my water did break then it would be on hardwood everywhere but that strip of carpet. However my water never broke on its own (3kids).
One more thing. Labor can be a bid deal on the vagina especially if there is tearing. But I never went more than 3 or 4 weeks max. 7 days, 11 days and 25 days after I was gettn it on. I missed him too much.
Enjoy!!!
My husband was glad he packed comfortable pants (PJ pants or basketball shorts – something that moves easy.)
Other than that, I second the snack idea. And I’m sure there’s an entirely separate list for baby T, but we packed my favorite receiving blanket in Chick’s bag and used that to swaddle her while in the hospital instead of the stark white ones they give you. It made me feel more like she was really ours (which might sound weird, but it had been waiting for her, and we bought it, yadda yadda) and the nurses always knew which baby she was in the nursery
.
You might want to bring a couple of shirts for you too. LOL I’m sure you are planning on it, but I noticed the list has 3 pair of bottoms but no tops.
Good Luck!
wow madge, way to be a b!tch.
definitely pack yourself tarzan, it’s way past time to pack & pregnant woman tend to not think straight
i would pack some snacks in the hospital bag & sport drinks. the last thing you’d want is to get to the hospital starving and have to hunt for a vending machine when your wife is in labor. better yet it could be broken, empty, or just nothing appealing to you! it’s also probably a good idea to feed pregnant jane before she gets to the hospital because she may not be allowed to eat once she gets there.
any day now, it’s so exciting!
We packed our bags a couple weeks ago, but it hardly counts because as soon as we packed, we wound up adding and subtracting things like mad until this past weekend.
In the final count, Donald brought: two sets of baby items (our niece soiled her outfit before they left the hospital, so she went home clad in a diaper only and got rubbed raw where the carseat straps were, poor baby), food for both of us (popsicles, jell-o, honey sticks, coins for vending machines, crackers, sports drink powders, jerky, suckers, dried fruit, and noodles), camera with charger and extra memory cards, toiletries, changes of clothing for us, towels & trash bags, a printed call list with phone numbers, a copy of my medical records so that he can verify that no mistakes are made, cell phone, chapstick (that’s for me), massage oil, and reading material. We picked two books – one that we can each read individually, and one that he can read out loud to me (favorite pass time).
ok, sounds like you are covered. BUT- for Jane- please get her a nice maternity gown, it’s like a nightgown but with slits to nurse, and feels much nicer than a regular hospital gown. Can be found at a local maternity store. Mine came with a matching outfit for the baby, lol. She will want something comfy to come home in, streachy pants/shorts..easy to move in. Tell her to go out and get some big underwear. She will look at you funny, but she will have to wear these obnoxious pads afterward and will need the comfort. If she growls at you for requesting big undies, send her to me
Slippers.
She will want some lotion, hospitals are like hotels, all toliteries are small and useless. So pack for her comfort..I LOVED getting cleaned up the next day after delivery, it was the BEST feeling.
Hospital TV is boring. Really, really boring. And sometimes labor is long. Laptop, movies, and plug in. If she likes to read, books/magazines. Magazines preferably something she has not read and definatly not a fitness magazine, no one wants to see ripped abs post partum. Either celeberty smut or some mothering magazines
Don’t forget extra batteries for the camera.
Don’t worry about sex, you will be so tired and she will be adjusting, you will be so occupied with your little guy, that you will find the wait is not bad. Just let her heal and get her body back, and of course things will feel akwayd, but you will be ok
I’m so excited for Baby Tarzan and his anxius new parents!
This post truly cracked me up. You are being such a sweet, caring husband, but I’ve never heard of husbands getting their own version of nesting!
The one thing that was suggested to me for things to bring to the birth are energy-boosting snacks and sport-type drinks. I don’t know what type of food and drink policy your hospital has, but I’ve been told time and again that it’s so, so important to keep your energy levels up with food.
The most recommended food items were peanut butter sandwiches and honey sticks. A good sport-type drink is Recharge (but Gatorade works, too). Also, make sure Jane eats if she feels like labor is coming on! Something hearty but light, like whole-wheat pasta with veggies, would be a good choice. (Again, this was recommended to me. I haven’t gone through it yet (8 weeks!) but I am planning to take this advice!)
Last thing – I think Jane is right about baby Tarzan coming after the bags are packed. I think finishing everything sets something up in a mom’s head that says, “Ok baby, we’re ready!” Who knows. All I know is that I know multiple women who went into labor very, very soon after the last thing was checked off the list. Not saying you shouldn’t pack, just saying that Jane could very well be right!
Good luck, you guys.
I can’t wait to hear about baby Tarzan’s arrival.
What’s with Madge?
Looks like your blog finally has a trouble-starter.
A sure sign of success!
You guys are so close! Exciting!!!
This post was very entertaining. I was worried about my water breaking (especially at work) until my friend told me it doesnt gush like you think but looks more like you peed your pants… So In my car I will still have one bag and one towel as well as a change of undies and pants with a few pads. I am 30 weeks today so I should still have ample time to get all that organized.
My friends son is almost 1 and she says her and the DH havent had sex since before he was born! I think this is crazy but she is scared she will get preggo again immediately. Plus I think she is just too tired to want to do anything! When I have energy to at least humor my fiance I will be giving it up to make him happy. He’s being pretty understanding throughout the pregnancy. At the beginning he was still getting at least once a week, then slipped to once every two weeks and I think now its more like once every three weeks lol. Poor guy
I am so excited for you two. Hope you get the bags packed soon. I want mine packed around 34 weeks or so.
Madge – You’re quite the drama starter, aren’t you? I have to agree with what Jackie said about you. I thought the same thing when I read your initial comment about me. It’s really quite funny reading what you wrote. Just for the record, we will have everything that we need at the hospital, don’t you worry. Spare me/us the lecture of how you personally thought the bags should have been packed previously, I really don’t care… Do you honestly think that something will happen so drastically that I won’t be able to put a few key items in a bag? If so, YOU’RE AN IDIOT. (How do you like the caps?)
Next, and far more importantly, do not come on my blog and tell someone that she should expect her husband to be having an affair because she just had a baby. If you do, I will block you next time. That is incredibly uncalled for and I would hope that you would have more respect for other women out there than to say some BS like that. God help you if you can’t have sex, for whatever reason, and your husband is cheating on you. Just to put those thoughts out there is completely ridiculous. I do hope that you aren’t speaking from experience, even though you do sound like quite the negative type. KThanksBye.
To everyone else, we appreciate your advice and suggestions as to what we need to bring. Being faithful to my promise to my husband, the packing will start later today, as will watching a labor and childbirth dvd. What an exciting day, LOL.
WAY TO GO JANE! Never mess with a pregnant woman. I have to admit, I read her post last night and my crazy pregnant brain turned it into a nightmare that my husband was cheating on me. Now my husband has been absolutely wonderful during the pregnancy and I am not even remotely worried about anything like that but crazy pregnant brain has a mind of its own.
Ok, I won’t say anything else about it.
My hubby and I both love your blog. We are cheering you on as you approach D- Day.
Madge broke the golden rule! Never ever say anything that can plant seeds in a pregnant woman’s mind! ML – sorry you had to go through a night of having that run through your mind. Some people, eh? Jane and several others set her straight.
So many great comments – especially the one about reminding me to bring some shirts. With how scattered my brain is lately with Jane preparing to free little T, I wouldn’t have been surprised if I did forget to pack shirts!
I’m so excited for you both! When I saw that you are 38 weeks- the first thing I thought was “that’s considered full term!” How the heck did that happen so fast? Isn’t it funny how other people’s pregnancies seem to go by so quickly?
Your belly looks gorgeous Jane. Tarzan, you are such a loving and caring husband. I know you two are going to be amazing parents.
Thanks Helen! Yeah, it’s crazy how fast things have gone!
And yes, Pregnant Jane is “full term” so we’re stuck in total waiting mode…
… with bags packed now.
The waiting game begins!
Ha ha, the water breaking thing is the funniest. When my water broke it was a trickle down one leg, then a minute later down both legs. By the time I got to the hospital I had almost slipped on my amniotic fluid. They got me socks and I was lucky enough to be in the bathroom to catch myself. I got the sudden urge to pack my bags but my hubby is afraid to leave for a minute. He’ll ask me are you having contractions? Has your water broke. Ha ha I think he’s more nervous than I am. I think the towel is a good idea. But the fluid all over the windows was very funny. It’s great to know how of a husband (and soon father) you are. I thought things would change with our 2nd baby but he is just as much of a nervous dad as he was with our first. Love your blogs. Ha ha, I hope sex isn’t an issue for you. My husband teases and tells me if he had something that size come out of him he wouldn’t either. It gets better though. Of course, it gets to be tag after awhile. “Do you feel like it?” “No do you”? We actually tease each other and there are things just as intimate than sex. That doesn’t mean we don’t. It’s just our priorities are a little different. First it was 2 a.m feeding, then it’s a toddler sleeping in your bed plus being pregnant with number 2 (and probably last). We were just getting it back when number 2 came. The things they don’t tell you sometimes (like the hormones don’t go away right after having the baby) Every couple is different. Keep up the great blogs. I’m glad not every pregnancy and couple are the same. Congrats to both of you.
I have had my bags packed for quite some time as I am expecting twins and have had several stays in the hospital this far. I am glad you have your bag packed but for people who don’t there is nothing you really need for delivery that the hospital can’t provide. If your labor lasts long it is true that you might want some reading material but most hospitals have tvs and gift shops with magazines. Some hospitals provide newspapers for their guests and all waiting rooms have reading material you can snag and then return at a later time. As for after delivery you will be messy and probably not want to ruin your own clothes so you may even opt to wear the hospital gown, pad, and underwear until your trip home. In this case a family member can even stop by your house to get an outfit to wear home or your spouse can go for something as well once everything is settled. Although I have been packed for weeks I have yet to pack a bag for the twins. I am concerned like Jane that once packed they will know we are ready for them. I am also concerned with what size clothes and diapers to bring. I know that hospitals provide you with some however the hospital that I have to deliver at if I go into labor soon is over an hour away. (This is because of the nicu facilities) I plan on packing within the next few days because I have already had preterm labor. I love all the suggestions and am happy for all of you!