Tarzan on being a Daddy, an update on the last few days, and answers to MANY of your burning questions

Are you ready for my LONGEST blog post to date?  Grab a cup of coffee and let’s get you all caught up on everything we’ve had going on!

Since we got home from the hospital, I feel like we’ve been in a tornado.  We’re busier than we’ve ever been and the days are all running together.  Our son, Baby Tarzan, is doing GREAT.  Jane is also doing great, but very, very tired as you can imagine.

Now before I go into my little “being a Daddy” piece today, I wanted to update you guys on a lot of different things based on questions that have come in from our blog here and on Twitter that people like you have asked us.

1. What is Baby Tarzan’s real name and when can I see more pictures of him?

I know many of you won’t be happy with this answer, but Jane and I have decided to keep out little guy protected and continue to protect our identities.  We don’t feel comfortable sharing his real name, as we don’t feel comfortable posting a lot of face pictures of him.

Now don’t worry, I will be uploading MANY, MANY photos of our little guy over time – and already have quite a few I want to upload.

I think you’ll all enjoy the baby pictures we upload for you to look at.  I took one the other day that is one of my favorite pictures in the world.  Seriously, this photo could win some awards! LOL  I’ll get that uploaded within the next week or so.

2. When is Jane going to start blogging and jump back onto Twitter?

Breastfeeding literally sucks the energy right out of a new mommy.  She’s tired more often than not, but does get some boosts of energy during late am and afternoon.  Jane is VERY, VERY excited to write a really detailed blog post about her entire labor and delivery experience.  If you have any specific questions for her, please reply to this post and she’ll answer them in her post.  She wants to share everything – what went right, what went wrong, decisions she made that she wished she hadn’t, and so much more.

Mommy Jane asked me to hold off on sharing any of the details of the hospital stay until she has a chance to write her post, which I think is fair since she and Baby Tarzan were the stars of the show!  I’m guessing it’ll be anywhere from 1 to 7 days before she gets that post written and up here for you guys.  It’s really important to her and we talk about it every single day.  She’s really excited about sharing the whole story with you!

3. Is this a spoof pregnancy blog?

Can you believe someone actually considered that on Twitter?  Ha Ha!  I remember hearing about a woman who wrote a blog saying that she was pregnant and had major complications and accepted money, gifts, etc. to help her out.  She finally came clean that it was all a hoax and she said she donated everything she received.  Yeah right – more like she sold everything she got on eBay.

The truth is that Jane and I are VERY honest and upfront people.  As you can tell by reading all of our previous pregnancy blog posts, we’re sometimes too upfront and VERY real – especially when it came to detailing what was going on with Jane and I throughout her pregnancy!

We have ethics and value people and the great blog and Twitter friends we’ve made.  So, sorry Mr. or Miss. Twitter person who made that comment, Jane, Baby Tarzan, and I are very real and so are all of our posts.  :)  And the question we have for you is… are you real?

4. Is the His Boys Can Swim blog going away now that Jane had Baby Tarzan?

I’m surprised how many folks asked us that question over the last week or so via Twitter.  Heck no we’re not going away!  :)  We’re going to continue to document our journey into parenthood.  Remember, our pregnancy (soon to be pregnancy and baby) blog is all about disclosing the “Chronicles of Life After the Plus Sign.”  Sharing our pregnancy journey was amazing for us.  Looking back, we would have never ever thought that so many people would have been following us, but more importantly, how vital our blog has been.

The information that so many of you shared with us throughout the journey was so helpful to Jane and I.  We made MANY decisions on many things based on your comments and feedback over the last several months.  So we’ll of course keep all of those posts up so others who begin their journey into pregnanthood can look through past blog posts and see that this whole pregnancy thing isn’t so bad after all.  Well, minus those pregnancy hormones!  And speaking of hormones…

5. How are Jane’s postpartum blues?

I’m not going to lie.  Jane has had some REALLY tough times, mostly in the evenings for some reason.  She’s great during the day, but in the evenings the postpartum blues will hit her.  I’ve become her solid rock she can count on and help her get through the postpartum blues.  They are NO JOKE and serious stuff.

If there are any guys reading this who are a soon-to-be dad, be prepared to lend your shoulder for some serious crying and get ready to do some major reassurance and calming.  I’ve read up on this so I knew what to expect because some friends of mine told me about the very, very tough times their wives had.  So I knew I needed to be prepared and educated in order to help Mommy Jane cope with this crazy time, while her hormones get back into normal working order.

When things start crashing in on her, she feels overwhelmed, fears change, worried about us not spending time together down the road like we used to, worried if she’s doing everything right, worried, scared, etc, etc, etc.  Everything hits her at once usually.  For example, Jane’s mom and I were watching Baby Tarzan after Jane fed him so she could go take a bath and relax.

After a few minutes I went in to go check on Jane and let her know Baby T is doing great and she was crying like crazy sitting in the bathtub.  It took me a good 15 minutes of talking to her to calm her down.   There is no doubt that Jane needs me more during these times than any other time we’ve been together for the years.  If you’re a father-to-be, get prepared to really man-up during these times and be there for your wife.  She needs you more than you and I will ever comprehend.  Be there for her, talk to her, ensure her that she REALLY is doing a great job.

Seriously.  My love has only deepened for Jane over the last week.  To see her give birth to our son was one of the most amazing things I’ve ever witnessed in my life.  She exhibited strength that neither she nor I knew existed within her.  Mommy Jane is one strong woman and I have so much respect for her.  And one thing I’ve told her 1,000 times – and she’ll hear 90,000 more, I’m so proud of her and she’s doing such a great job!

So yeah, those postpartum blues are really tough at times.  I’m keeping a close eye on Jane and made 100% sure she knows that if she feels sad or starts crying, to come get me so I can be there for her and comfort her.  We’re in this together, always, forever, and I want to make 100% sure that we get through these postpartum blues together naturally and quickly.  Jane’s a tough chickadee; I know she’ll get through this phase quickly and her hormones will be back on track before we know it.

6. How’s breastfeeding going?

I’m sure Jane will go into a lot of detail on this one in her post, but here’s a Daddy’s perspective… It’s a LOT harder in the beginning than I thought!  Both Mommy Jane and baby T had to learn a few things and get used to each other.  At the hospital we had a woman from the nursery come in a few times and help us out.

There was a LOT we didn’t understand.  There was a lot that we didn’t know.  There’s a lot more to breastfeeding than I ever thought in my entire life!   If anything, woman who have a baby have a new respect from me – that’s for sure!  But four days after Baby T was born, he and Mommy got the hang of it.  Jane is 100 times more comfortable, Baby T is a pro, and they are both doing great at it.  In fact, she is feeding him right now in the living room sitting on a rocking chair with a Boppy as I write this from the kitchen table looking at the two of them.

Oh, and I might want to add… I thought Jane’s boobs were big before during pregnancy.  But now, OH MY GOODNESS!  They are massive, firm, large, just, just… wow.  Oh, and might I add, they are also leaking now.  Jane woke up to a wet shirt this AM.  But seriously, they are super-sized and she is looking goooooood.  This damn 6-week rule is going to drive me mad….

7. How’s Baby Tarzan’s crying going?

Boy, our son has some lungs on him – that’s for sure!  If he needs to be changed, he’s hungry, or needs to let out a super-loud burp, the whole neighborhood knows about it.  But I’ve learned a trick thanks to watching part of the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD.  (We’ll be finishing it this week hopefully.)  When I’m holding him and Jane is getting prepared to breastfeed, sometimes he’s hungry NOW and doesn’t want to wait for his Mommy to spend even 5 seconds to get prepared.

He’ll start crying like crazy – but that little “shushing” trick I learned makes him quiet down and become very calm within seconds!  I would have paid 100 times more for that DVD above just to learn that little trick alone.  I’ve used it many, many times.

Yesterday we put him into his swing after feeding him, burping him, changing him, and getting him ready for a little nap.  He was in there for a few seconds and started to cry.  I sat on the floor and shushed and shushed.  After a few seconds he stopped crying and I kept shushing softer and softer.  His eyes began to get heavy and before I knew it, he was asleep.  There’s no doubt shushing really comforts Baby Tarzan – reminding him of the sounds in the womb I guess and makes him feel safe.  IT WORKS!

8. How are you guys sleeping?

Sleep?  I remember that word.  But I’m beginning to forget what a full night’s sleep feels like already!  It’s strange, really.  Even when I get some good sleep, I still feel exhausted sometimes.

It hits in the afternoon and then again in the evening and the same thing happens to Jane.  We’re still in the middle of trying to get on a schedule, but we’ve come to realize that it takes a little time to adjust.

Plus being on the go nearly non-stop from wake to naps/sleep jolts your body a little and I know it’ll just take us a little time to get used to this new rapid pace set by our wonderful little son.

9. How was Twittering during Jane’s labor for me?  Did Jane get mad at me at all and did I miss anything?

Jane and I talked A LOT about this leading up to the big day.  We thought it would only make sense for me to Twitter at the hospital and the actual labor, especially since Jane had me Twitter her signs of labor a few days ago.  But we also made it a rule that I would only do it at the right times where I wasn’t distracted and it didn’t take anything away from Jane or myself.  When the actual labor and pushing began, Jane pushed during contractions.

I would hold one leg, the nurse would hold the other.  After three 10-second long pushes, Jane would rest.  I would talk to her, kiss her head, keep the cold cloth on her forehead, and then Tweet.  So believe me, I wasn’t Twittering while Jane was pushing.  I was 100% there for Jane and 100% in the moment as Baby T’s head started to show.  It was the most incredible thing to experience in the world!

I also asked Jane several times in between contractions if she is OK with me Twittering still, she said yes.  So it didn’t take anything away from either of our wonderful and beautiful experience and we got to share everything with you – all of our readers.  I also saw a few comments from people (who must not have ever visited our blog!) thinking the whole birth was B.S.  Well, they can think that all they want – and I expected to get some of those comments.  I mean who would actually Twitter the birth of their child?!  LOL  Not too many people, that’s for sure.  We were not the first, and I’m 100% sure that we will not be the last!

Come to think of it, if we had family and friends scattered all over the place who couldn’t be at the hospital, I’d Twitter everything so I could keep everyone posted on the play-by-play like we did with all of you.  I think Twitter is an incredible tool for that respect.  And I admit, I’ve become addicted ever since Jane gave me her computer the day some contractions started to hit.  And that brings me up to my next question…

10. When will you, Tarzan get a Twitter account?

OK, I admit.  I was not on the Twitter bandwagon that much before all of this.  Twitter was Jane’s thing and I saw how much she loved it and had fun on it.  But for some reason just never thought I would ever want or need to be on there like she was.  But now I’m singing a different tune!  So YES, one of these days I will be getting my own Twitter account so Jane and I can both be on there.  It would be too confusing if the both of us were using just the “hisboyscanswim” Twitter account anyway.

But for now, while Jane is getting into her new schedule and with Baby T 24/7 breastfeeding, I’ll be popping into her Twitter account like I have been with updates and more importantly, questions!  I LOVE Twitter now.  I used it the other day to ask what items I should pick up from the store, as I was off doing a Baby T run.  I picked up many suggested items including a HUGE air purifier that we have running all the time.  I thought of it weeks ago, but forgot all about it.  So thankful I got it so that Baby T and us have nice clean air to breathe.

11. *** Who won the “Guess when Baby Tarzan will be born contest“? ***

A BIG congratulations to Mandi who guessed July 23rd at 6:15 PM.  The actual time was 6:37 PM.  Great guess!  You won a Babies R Us gift card!  As mentioned on the blog post, we would add $6 for each pound Baby T weighed.

So with him being 7 lbs, you won yourself a whopping $42 Babies R Us gift card from us!  Mandi, please contact us via the “contact us” link at the bottom of our blog with your mailing address so we can get the card out to you.

Again, congratulations and we thank everyone for entering!

12. So, what’s next for His Boys Can Swim?

Quick answer: A lot… but it will take some time to get things going.  As mentioned above, our His Boys Can Swim blog will continue to keep rolling as Baby T grows and grows.  We’ll continue to keep our identities private so we can blog without holding anything back as we’ve been doing the past several months throughout Jane’s pregnancy.  And as far as what’s next, Jane and I discussed this quite a bit recently and we’ve decided on a few things…

The first is that Jane LOVES this blog and talking to all of you here and on Twitter.  She would love to do this full-time once things settle down here a little.  She is really passionate about sharing her experiences with others, helping other people out, and writing.  With that said, as we continue to blog away, Jane will be creating a few additional websites.

Now I cannot go into all the details yet, but I can tell you that over the course of Jane’s pregnancy and over the past few days, we have come up with some ideas for some much needed products that just don’t exist out there surprisingly.  There have been some things that we really needed, but they just don’t make them anywhere.  I guess they haven’t been invented yet!  So during some down time over the next couple of months (if down time even exists with a baby!) Jane and I will begin to work on a few of the products we want to create.

At this point, we’re not sure if we should blog about that journey here, somewhere else, or not blog about it at all.  We have totally ZERO idea how to take an idea you have in your head, turn it into a reality, and sell it on the Internet or in stores.  I don’t know if enough people would have any interest in following us on that journey?  I wouldn’t want to distract from everything we’ll have going on here with Baby T.

We’d love your feedback on this one.  Should we share that journey here once we start it?  Should we start a separate blog to document that?  Should we not talk about it at all anywhere and just let you guys know once we finally get one of the products out there?  What would you like to see?

We of course want Jane to be a stay-at-home mom and raise our little Baby T.  It will be hard for her to keep up with her other work she had been doing from home, so having her get involved more in the mommy world and starting her own little side business would be good for her, us, and maybe even help buy some of the diapers each month.

If Jane can create a little part-time income doing anything, that would help us out a lot and free up some of my time so I can spend more time with my new family.  So we’ve got quite awhile until we get things in place and I’m sure things will change a little as time goes on.  But, one way or another we’d love to get our product ideas out there because we KNOW pregnant woman and mommies out there need what we’ve come up with.  Plus I want Jane to have them now and for when we try for Baby Jane sometime down the road.  ;)  he he he

So anyway, as far as what’s next, once things settle down, Jane will be able to concentrate more on our pregnancy and baby blog here and get the other websites out there that we want to get up and running on top of the products we want to have developed. (BTW, if anyone has any resources on that, please contact us.  Any suggestions or contacts would be much appreciated!)

13. Will you continue calling your son Baby Tarzan on your blog or give him a new name?

While Jane was breastfeeding, I asked her the above question because someone asked her/us on Twitter this the other day.

I told Jane that it would make sense for us to call him “Monkey” since we’re Jane and Tarzan and because he’s wearing a shirt with a monkey on it today, and because we have been calling him that lately.

So, the answer is this… From now on, Baby Tarzan’s new name on our blog will be… Monkey!

OK, so now that we got some of the questions out of the way, it’s time to share some of my…

Daddy Thoughts

The fact that I’m now a Daddy is starting to settle in.  The emotions I have are tough to put into words, but just to give you an idea…

This morning I changed our Monkey and was holding him while Jane was in the bathroom.  I was just watching my little guy wake up.  The little yawns.  The little squeaks.  He’d open his eyes a little and close them again.  He’d stretch.  I just sat there watching him in awe as I talked to him and sang a song to him that I made up as I sung it.

Jane came back into the living room and came up to him.  ”Hi sweet boy”, said Jane in a nice, soft, soothing voice.  He looked up at her and I swear smiled at her – not just once but a few times.  Now I know babies make all sorts of facial expressions and Monkey is no exception, and who knows if they were real smiles or just Monkey making faces.

Even if they weren’t real smiles and the timing was just prefect that he gave Mommy Jane some grins made my eyes water all up like crazy.  Everything just hit me a little this AM.  It was so fun holding my little guy.  Seeing him smile at his Mommy (do babies smile this early, or was it just good timing on his and our part?) brought a gush of tears to my eyes.

Sure, I’ll admit that I’m an emotional guy at times, but remember, me Tarzan, she Jane, and me tough.  Manly man tough! LOL  But yeah, I do have a soft side and when that happened this AM, it just melted me.  I looked up at Jane and told her seeing him smile a few times at her got my eyes all watery.  She said awe and gave us both kisses.

The moment Monkey was born, literally the moment, I felt this RUSH go through my entire body.  Jane told me I kept saying, “Oh my God, here he comes!  Here he comes!  Oh my God!  Look at him!”  Or something like that.  Hopefully she’ll add that to her blog when she blogs.  I couldn’t tell you even ONE word I said but she remembers everything during that part believe it or not.

Now one thing that I often thought about while Jane was pregnant was, “what will it feel like once our son is born?”  I often wondered if I would feel different.  I often wondered how you feel in love with someone the second you saw them and the chemical transformations that went on in one’s mind when he/she first sees their child.

I will do my best to describe this part, but language lacks the words to truly explain the rush of emotions you experience when your baby is born…

Once Monkey was born, there were so many people in the room and so much commotion, but it was like none of them existed.  I didn’t hear a sound in that noisy room.  It was like I went deaf for a few seconds.  I heard nothing.  And then within 4 or 5 seconds I heard our little Monkey let out a big cry and it was like someone hit the unpause button and I could hear and see everything around me again.

Everything around me blurred out again when the doctor said, “Daddy, it’s time to cut the cord!” Daddy?  Oh yeah, that’s me!  I took the scissors from her hands and was surprised how tough the cord was.  It took three snips to cut it.

Immediately after cutting the cord a nurse placed a blanket over Jane’s chest and the doctor placed Monkey on Jane.  They both started to clean him and that’s when I wasn’t able to see too much because my eyes were so full of tears.  Everything was blurry so I quickly grabbed the camera and started snapping as many photos as I could.   Jane was crying, I was crying, Monkey was crying.

My son was born.  Happy Birthday little guy.

The nurse then took Monkey to the warming table to check vitals and to clean the rest of him off.  I guess someone told me to go over there because the next thing I know I was standing over by him talking picture after picture as the nurse cleaned him.  I looked over at Jane and she was looking over at my crying and waived.

I took out the video camera and recorded Monkey getting cleaned.  I’d look over at Jane, then back at Monkey.  Then back at Jane, then back at Monkey.  I wanted to be next to her while the doctor cleaned her and mended things up a little.  (Jane will share details of that in her blog post I’m sure.)

It was such a strange feeling.  I was standing next to our Monkey, but wanted to go see Jane.  There were so many people around her, I didn’t know where to go.  I wanted to give her a big hug and kiss.  I felt torn and I looked over to the nurse who was cleaning him and said, “I don’t know what to do with myself right now!  I want to be here and I want to be over there!  I’m torn!”  She just laughed at me and the next thing I knew I was holding our little Monkey for the first time and having my photo taken with him and Jane’s doctor who delivered him.

The next few minutes were hectic.  I have no idea how much time passed.  Actually, I do.  I remember once they got Jane all cleaned up, I called her parents who were in the waiting room.  When I called them to tell them that Monkey was born and Jane and him are doing great, they were worried and asked why things took so long.  I looked up at the clock and saw that an HOUR had passed.  WHAT!?  How in the heck did an hour pass?

Seriously, it felt like just 5 minutes had passed.  Everything went by SO FAST like I was in a time warp.

Anyway, getting back to the feeling a new Daddy has the moment he sees is son… The best word to describe the feeling that came over me when Monkey officially came into this world was a RUSH.  Remember back to your first kiss.  Remember the first time you fell in love.  Now imagine skydiving for the first time.  Imagine bungee jumping from the top of a very high bridge.  Imagine going 200 miles per hour on a race track.  Imagine riding on the tallest and fastest roller coaster in the world.  Now imagine doing all of those at once!

The rush I felt started from the top of my head, through my arms, chest, body, legs, and toes.  It was a complete body rush that filled my body with emotions I had never felt before; which was a brand new love I had never knew existed.  It’s a totally different love than anything else out there.  It’s a love that you feel all over.  It’s a love that surrounds you.  It’s a love that is completely unique, overwhelming, and at the same time, just makes sense.

And the crazy thing is that I love our little Monkey more and more every single day!  Like this morning when I was holding him and just looking at him and thinking how sweet he is as he was making little squeaks, I fell in love with him all over again.

So the best way I can sum up my experience and description for the new love you feel is this little poem I just wrote…

A love for your child knows no bounds.
It begins with an unimaginable force
that’s stronger than anything around.
It’s a bond that never stops growing.
It’s a love that never stops knowing.
And it’s a love that you never stop showing.

Huh.  I’m a poet and I didn’t even know it!  ha ha.  But seriously, for all you pregnant couples out there – just wait until you experience this love for yourself.  It’s incredible and changes everything, in a very good way of course.

Some of my new favorite things as a Daddy so far…

1. I love to watch Jane breastfeed Monkey.  It’s so soothing and so peaceful to watch.  Monkey is so sweet how he sometimes looks up a Jane or has his eyes half closed and all balled up looking so happy; so content.  Jane and I both laugh at how he sometimes moves his head around as he is preparing to latch on.  And I love how he makes both Jane and I laugh at times and how he makes both of us melt other times.

2. I love to feed Jane while she is breastfeeding.  I’m sure you know breastfeeding is a full-time job and I want to make sure that my beautiful Jane gets enough food and calories.  We know she needs extra so she can keep producing milk and keep her energy levels up.  I like to feed her fruit, one piece at a time.  It’s so nice and peaceful for the both of us and makes me feel proud of my family, which is another new emotion for me.  I’m totally a proud Daddy.

3. I love watching Monkey make his little facial expressions.  Sometimes he look like he’s about to cry and then go back to a straight face.  He’ll yawn, hiccup, grin, and make all sorts of funny faces that make us smile.  I could just watch him all day.

4. I love watching Monkey sleep.  I’m convinced the # 1 way to lower your blood pressure is to watch your baby sleep.  I nearly fall asleep just watching him sleep every time!

5. I love holding our little Monkey.  I sing to him, talk to him, make faces at him, make noises, and just stare at him.

6. I love running errands and picking up baby supplies.  I know this one sounds funny, but it feels good going out and getting things for our son.

7. I love thinking about our future.  I love to think and talk about the trips to the zoo, the aquarium, the museum, the movies, and so many other places we’ll take him as he gets older.  Jane and I can’t wait for that – but we also know to really enjoy every moment with him now because babies grow up fast.

8. I love how much Jane and I have become closer.  My love for my beautiful wife Jane also continues to grow with each passing day.  She’s my everything and she’s already proven herself 1,000 times that she’s going to win Mommy of the Year every single year forever.

9. I love being a dad.  It just feels good.

10. I love having a family.  For some reason I thought growing up that I was one of those people who wasn’t going to have kids; that I was too independent.  I’m so happy that Monkey is here – he’s the best think that ever happened to me, besides meeting Jane that warm summer day of course because without her, I’d be Monkeyless and wifeless.

Believe it or not, there’s still a LOT more to share with you… so stay tuned to more posts from me and within the next week, Jane will post her entire hospital, labor, and delivery journey.  There will be some VERY, VERY important tid-bits of information shared in her post, especially if you’re expecting.  So stay tuned for that.

Tarzan

P.S…. Remember, I will be uploading baby photos of our little Monkey in a day or two… including my favorite one I’ve taken so far.

You might also want to read:

1. When does a baby sleep through the night? And other worn-out daddy questions ramblings.
2. Postpartum blues, help with breastfeeding, and ramblings from an overtired Daddy.
3. RARE: A peak inside the secret life of Tarzan and Jane
4. New Baby Monkey Photos! OK guys, I was able to get Jane to give me the OK to share some baby pictures with you!
5. Leaving the hospital: The days after and experiencing postpartum baby blues

Tagged as: baby, birth, blog contest, Boobs, Breastfeeding, Doctor, fatherhood, Labor, Labor and Delivery, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Blog