Comments on: Tarzan on being a Daddy, an update on the last few days, and answers to MANY of your burning questions

By: Melani

Melani — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 11:09:13 +0000

wow! I’ve just read your blog from start to finish and I have laughed and cried and laughed some more.

My partners cousin and his wife are expecting their first baby in Nov/Dec and this blog has helped me to understand how their life has changed (Their little baby was a surprise too!) and what they have to look forward to down the track.

Thanks so much for sharing this wonderful journey and congratulations to you, Jane and your little Monkey!

By: Tamara

Tamara — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 02:57:00 +0000

Tarzan and Jane. All the advice you have been given tonight is very good advice. Newborns are not easy. When they are hungry, they cry. When they need their diaper changed, they cry. When they are not swaddled, they cry. Somewhere in there, you try to sleep. Remember that they are coming from a 98 degree environment where there was little room to move (tightly swaddled), they only heard “muted” voices and swishing all the time, they were constantly fed and they never had a dirty diaper. Mine is 4 months old and just started sleeping through the night (I am one of the lucky ones). You really should try shifts…obviously feeding time is not an option for Jane’s shift and breastfeeding is learned not automatic (for both babe & Jane). You will make it through it but it does take time and sometimes weeks (certainly not meant to scare you) but just remember that there are 2 of you and only 1 babe. Make a plan and try to work it so that Tarzan has active duty and Jane has feeding duty. You can’t both expect to be awake with him when he is awake…it doesn’t work that way. Each of you needs to try to get him out of the house for the other to “try” to get some sleep. The fresh air will do you good too! It does get easier…and you both will survive…always ask for help, don’t ever be afraid someone will think you can’t handle it by asking. Any of us that have been there no that help is the best way to make it through. Moms, neighbours, friends, relatives…even if it is to have a shower together and enjoy the sound of the water and not hear what is happening outside those walls…

By: Angel

Angel — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 01:49:42 +0000

Please give Jane hugs from me. I haven’t gotten a chance to read the previous posts or your responsed to them, so I just wanted to be encouraging:

1. Breastfeeding was one of the hardest things I never started. I shed many many tears over doing it right, having enough milk, starving my baby because there wasn’t enough milk. It is a learning experience for you as a new mom and the Monkey. It’s ok to cry, just remember that things do get easier.

2. I just scanned and saw something about pumping. Not all pumps are the same. They have different suctions and different rhtyms, etc. I found the Medela Pump and Style worked for me, but there are others that do not. My friend used a playtex pump, and it worked well for her. I found the Local La Leche League memebers to be super supportive in all cases. I wasn’t a member, but you can find your local support group online, and and they helped me even until I weaned my daughter at almost 18 months. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Beware a bit that some of them are hardcore, but the ladies I spoke with were always supportive.

3. Remember you are very very tired, and it’s ok to sleep. I posted on Twitter that my DH and I often took turns. I might take the first part of the night, with feedings every 2-3 hours, and then early morning or so, DH would taking the baby into his office, lay her on his chest and play his music. She loved the skin on skin and the music lulled her (it doesn’t me, but apparently she liked the beat). When she would get hungry again, he would come get me. But it gave me 2-3 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Please don’t take this as bossy, just as one first-time mom to another. People give you a very idealistic picture of what having a new baby is like. You have the wonderful amazing feeling, and then there is the reality. I know this sounds not as encouraging, but the first two weeks are the hardest, and then things start to even out.

I also swear by the Happiest Baby on the block. Swaddling is the key!! No matter how much Monkey wants to kick about, Swaddling is FANTASTIC!

By: Tamara

Tamara — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 00:42:10 +0000

Re:Madge – before Jane gets too worked up about this, I was never able to pump. My babies loved to eat both sides every 3 hours and at a week old, pumping is certainly not something she needs to stress over. Take Jane & Tarzan with you to Babies r us and send her off to shop while you stroll baby Tarzan in the cart…if he cries so much that she needs to feed him, she is still close by but she can go and shop for what she needs, ask questions and just enjoy talking to other adults!

By: Abby

Abby — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 00:41:23 +0000

Been following your updates on twitter. If you need jane’s mum to come over and help then tell her & be very direct. She is probably not wanting to invade your space at the moment so is staying away. Tell her you all really need her and I’m sure if she can, she will come. I had this with my mum, as she thought we wanted time alone and her not to interfere.
I am going to get bossy with you here: You cannot be up for 30 hours! Next time the baby is asleep, go to sleep. Leave everything and sleep. I used to have my baby’s crib right next to the bed and then feed her in our bed lying on my side. We had her in the middle so she couldn’t fall out and that way I could at least close my eyes when feeding her. Sometimes we would fall asleep like that, which I think is fine. If I woke I would just pop her back in her crib. Breastfeeding is tiring and hard work in the early days but when jane’s milk supply establishes it will get easier. The other thing I found was to try to make sure the baby never slept for more than 3 hours without waking for a feed in the daytime. It is tempting to leave them but I found if I could fit about 5 feeds in during the day then I would get a stretch of say between 3 and 5 hours at night sometimes. I used to stay up late and feed before I went to bed at say 11pm then I would get till around 3am unbroken sleep ( on a good night) hang in there and don’t get down. Anyone who is a parent is right there with you on this, we have all been there. The first six weeks is the hardest, after that it does get a bit easier. Sending you all positive vibes

By: madge

madge — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 00:31:46 +0000

I just saw your tweet….not too sound mean, but you know, you CAN take care of your baby without help from your MIL or anyone else. Be thankful for what help she has given, not complaining about her not being able to come. Jane needs to pump some milk for you to feed baby while she sleeps.

By: Christen

Christen — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 23:29:39 +0000

I too am wondering what you have needed with all the trips to the store! Please share with us=)

By: Amy V.

Amy V. — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 21:57:02 +0000

18 weeks preggo- Post made me cry-I’ve been following ya’ll on this blog for awhile! A huge congrats and I can’t wait to meet my little one!

By: ML

ML — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 21:30:23 +0000

I read your tweets all through the birth. Unfortunately, I had to turn them off afterwards. I realized that I didn’t have unlimited text just 500. I’ll be getting a new phone and plan soon, so I’ll be back. Your blog and tweets have really helped me and my husband. I’m 25 weeks with our first. He was also one who thought he would never has kids and can’t believe the changes in his emotions already. He’s getting really excited (and scared of course . We both really enjoy hearing your side of the story. We have also learned alot from your blog and tweets. Every now and then one of us will say, “Oh that’s how that works! Honey, listen to this!” We look forward to following you both on your journey and can’t wait to see what great products you come up with.
On the products, I agree with the earlier post. Don’t tell us your ideas for fear someone would steal them. But I would be interrested in the process from idea to production and sale. Besides, face it, you have fans now. Most of us that have followed you through the pregnancy almost feel like your friends now. We want to support you both in your indeavors to support your family. And like peta, I now feel like a stalker. lol
PS – Tell Jane to take her time. If she doesn’t feel like posting right now because of all the emotions or just plain lack of sleep, we all totally understand. She needs to do whatever she can to heal, emotionally and physically. We’ll love to hear from her when she feels up to it.
PPS – I love the pregnancy dresses she was wearing in the previous posts. Could you ask her where she got them? The bigger I get the more sundresses appeal to me. THanks

By: Tamara

Tamara — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 20:11:18 +0000

Night is very hard even for us seasoned with 4 kids. You are tired, exhausted, want to have a cup a tea, a bath and newborns like to be awake even more at night than during the day. It is very hard for moms to sleep when baby sleeps as ALL will tell Jane to do. Doing the dishes, cutting the grass, anything other than holding baby Tarzan is a break even if it is work. Two weeks ago, she could stop whatever she was doing and do whatever she wanted too. Tarzan, you can still do that. Jane will feel like a bad mom when she says she doesn’t want to hold him and would rather go for a walk around the block but she is not. This is postpartum depression, either. It is simply adjusting to always being needed by a little darling that only knows how to cry. Sleep deprivation works against everyone but Jane is also trying to recover from giving birth and she needs rest. Tarzan, take baby Tarzan with you when you go do your running around. I know it is more time consuming and hard especially if she is breastfeeding but you will quickly realize how nice 2 minutes of time to yourself seems like a lifetime!