Jane,
I have followed your blog since about a week before I delivered my second child which arrived the same day as Monkey- another girl for us though. I was due the day before :) I found it b/c I had been googling labor symptoms and found "bloody show" in one post. Your hubby is hysterical and honestly, this site was about the only thing that i had laughed at all week long, i was that miserable, so thank him for me (side note Jeff Dunham was the only one who did that for me with baby number 1 so that is how funny he is and his humor was only in written form!). Well, I feel like I have so much where i can relate to you. I was in false labor the same night as you. Yet I also had false labor, get this, the entire month before we delivered, it was horrible!!! i started having real contractions finally the same time you did, well I am eastern time, but the same time comparably. Anyways, while I have been fortunate enough to escape PPD two times now, well, so far, I have had problems with depression and anxiety my whole adult life. It sucks, but lucky for me, it has been manageable with certain interventions. Btw I am so sorry aobut your horrible psych visit. I swear the mental health clinic in our town sounds just like the place you went to. And how unprofessional that doc was, to show up whenever they felt like! Whatever. Also I am a stay at home Mom now, but I used to be a pediatric physical therapist working in early intervention so I know about torticollis. Did they show you how you can stretch Monkey even while you feed him a bottle or just hold him in your arms- it's all about how you position him during the feed? Stretches held for long times work very well. So I check the site here and there, you know, when i somehow have the chance b/t taking care of two kids! Ha! I hope you all are well. I do think of you guys across the country from us often :)

Hi everyone,

Again, Jane and I appreciate ALL of the comments above! The amount of help Jane and I received here is amazing - thank you all so much. This has all been helpful and has made both Jane and I feel a lot better. Instead of doing another blog post, we felt that the above comments (90-something of them!) has enough info for us and our readers on the questions we asked. However, we have many more questions coming I'm sure!

Today Jane has been on Twitter and posted a blog post. She's back! Yay! On Twitter she has asked additional breastfeeding questions - and the answers from everyone there have been so helpful as well!

What I've learned through all of this so far is:

1. Breastfeeding takes time to learn; both for baby and mommy.

2. I need to always make sure that Jane is eating enough and drinking enough water. (And I am)

3. I need to remind Jane to take naps. (And I am) She has a hard time sleeping during the day - even with one of those masks that covers her eyes... but in time I'm sure she'll get there. Maybe naps take practice too? :)

4. I need keep supporting her each and everyday with her breastfeeding. (And I do) There 100 times more to it than I ever thought and many more things that I'll never know or understand.

5. We've learned that there is a TON of support out there for woman who breastfeed. It's like an exclusive club that Jane belongs to with many woman there all cheering her on and willing to do anything to help support her. No joke! We were amazed at the number of people who emailed us or Twittered Jane with their phone number!

6. Postpartum blues: Serious stuff. Jane will be posting a new blog post on this subject very soon. I've learned that the husband REALLY needs to educate himself (which I did) on what to watch out for and be there 110% for his wife (which I am). Jane is doing SO MUCH better and is feeling so much better - pretty much back to herself - but we had some very rough days that you'll soon be reading about from Jane.

Stay posted on more news about breastfeeding... I know this is a subject that we'll both be discussing a LOT over the coming weeks and months!

Thanks again everyone!

The rule of the thumb about daddy's and mummy's sleep is:

"Sleep whenever the baby sleeps."

But of course sometimes you may have to sacrifice (all or part of) your sleeping session (when the baby is sleeping) to quickly do some important household chores. That's unavoidable!

Whew! We're still going through all of these great comments! Thanks everyone! My job sometime today will be to get the follow-up blog written with additional comments/questions from Jane and I based on all of your great feedback! Thanks again!

Jane has SO MUCH to say including her much anticipated labor and delivery post that she *MAY* be posting today. I don't know about you, but I can't wait to read it!

Just a quick note re waiting six weeks to pump. I stuck to this in new mother fear after the birth of my 1st; he subsequently refused a bottle for the next nine months = no relief for me! For my next two babies I breastfed but made the decision to introduce the bottle to them by the end of two weeks - not regularly - just to allow the possibility that bubs would accept it as an alternative if I needed a break or some kind soul offered to babysit for an hour or two!

Oh, and I highly, highly recommend a sling .. they're gorgeously comfortable for both of you and great for bonding.

Hey guys, Congrats again on your new arrival. Everyone above has given great advice. Even when all advice seems to contradict each other. ;)

I have one bit of advice that might not seem particularly helpful, but in the long run is probably the best thing that I've learned.

Do what you feel is right. Its so funny because once you have a baby EVERYONE and their monkeys uncle has advice. And basically their advice revolves around their beliefs and what works for them. I would in fact love to give you a list of nursing techniques, and attachment parenting ideas and sleep ideas that worked for me. But I won't because well out of all of my friends, my way of doing things totally never worked for them. Did I do it wrong? Nah I don't think so. I have two well behaved thriving boys who I'm very proud of. But my friends ways are totally different. And their babies personalities are totally different. I digress.

What I would like to say is, continue to do a great job. If it feels right go with it. Don't second guess yourself, there is no right or wrong. Have fun, support each other, and cherish every moment.

Hi Jane & Tarzan,

Congrats on little monkey!

I answer some of these from experience and others from advice from professionals on my forum

1. Are the crazy cycles: eat, change, put down to bed, wake up 30 minutes later hungry, etc. normal? Do they happen often or is it happen just every once in awhile?

It may take 6 weeks for monkey to settle for longer. Evenings were always niggle time for me when my one was teeny. I resigned myself to sitting down and feeding her practically non-stop from 5.30 till 11 for the first few weeks (months even!). This may stop monkey from waking up all night, or monkey may just be getting milk supply up to his needs, in which case it'll pass (and then come back on the next growth spurt possibly)

2. We do know it takes some time for her and Baby Monkey to get used to it and learn, but are there any shortcuts you’ve learned or anything Jane can do that you found useful?
I think the best advice anyone can give is to relax. It is natural. Give Jane lots of cups of chamomile tea to help her to chill out. Also, have you got one of those V-breastfeeding pillows? Those were a lifesaver for me at first. Also feeding lying on your side in bed is great. Give Jane's shoulders a rub, breastfeeding can strain the back a bit.

3. Do you have any ideas, thoughts, suggestions on anything that helped you with postpartum blues? I drank loads of chamomile tea & put lavender essential oil in my bath. Raw chocolate (pure cocoa) is meant to be really good for lifting the mood...not regualr chocolate as it has too much sugar and will pick Jane up and then throw her right down again.

4. Someone told us at the hospital that you need to wait 4-6 weeks and a friend told us that Jane could be doing that now. Which is correct and/or what did you do?

I pumped from day 3 with absolutely no problems. If monkey is hungry then pumping is not going to deplete milk but increase supply...so no problems there! I pumped one boob with a manual pump while feeding on the other....plenty of time for both to make more milk!

much love to you both and try to enjoy monkey without over analysing everything. Mothering/parenting is natural and instinctive...listen to what your heart and your little dude tells you! xxx

I can't comment on the nursing...my milk never came in anyway so we had to go with a bottle. I can comment on the PPD though....

What she is feeling is normal. She is exhausted and it is easy to not want to eat and just to sleep. This is bad though because it starts a cycle. Half of a sandwich is better than nothing...just make sure she has lots of protein and use whole wheat breads and pastas since they are like protein and will help keep her blood sugar regulated.

What helped me with my PPD before I was able to get help was that DH was more than happy to let me talk about my feelings. Even if they were scary. I wasn't judged, nor was I told I was a bad person for feeling the way that I did. We had very open communication and it helped to know that he loved us and would stand by me even if I was thinking crazy things. Be supportive of her and don't judge anything she says. Of course if she talks about hurting herself or the baby you need to call the Dr right away...but sometimes just saying, "I think this was a bad idea and I don't think I can do this" can help A LOT. You can always come back and admit your own feelings to her as well good or bad. Just getting them out can help and knowing that you are there for her will help too.

Let her sleep as much as possible...get someone else to take care of anything that needs done around the house if you can't do it. Sleep deprivation can lead to depression as well.

Hope it helps. and good luck and congrats to you both!

I know I'm late posting but I can not agree MORE with the posters that said Jane must eat and always have water beside her while breastfeeding. Even if she doesn't feel hungry, it's because tired is outweighing hunger. I know the last thing I wanted to do was eat, but even if it's just some soup in a coffee mug for her to sip on with some toast is better than not eating. If you have a crock pot, T, use it! Stews are easy. Throw it in a bunch of your faves with some chicken or beef broth and let it cook all day. Makes lots and it's good.

I started pumping right off the bat. *For me*, I would pump right after a feed. Just ten minutes on each side. It helped with my supply. Again, that was my experience. Everyone is different. Jane may find that she has a "snack boob" and a "dinner boob". One of mine produced way more than the other. Tell her that's normal. She'll come to learn her own output. Trust me, by this time next month? Jane is gonna feel like a Super Starbucks minus the espresso and it's awesome. :-D

Regarding PP blues: I had a really hard time after my 1st kiddo made her grand appearance. I didn't really know it until she was 4 months old. I think right now you are doing the right thing by watching her. Unless she has any dangerous thoughts or reactions, give it a couple of weeks. If she still feels like she can barely keep her head above water, so to speak, then she needs to call the OB. With my 2nd baby, I ended up on a course of Zoloft (safe for breastfeeding). Talk about night and day. I actually started feeling like a human in no time.

I haven't read the other comments, but the things that helped me so much were these. Take a shower every day. Put on fresh clothes (even if it's just PJ's). Throw on a little lipstick. Does wonders.

You guys are doing great. If you ever feel that you need to call the Ped or the OB, don't you hesitate or feel like you are bothering them. That's what they are there for!!!

Ok, remember now this is just MY opinion and what helped ME.

I have a medical disorder, and I had the same issues...getting comfortable was hard. I found it best to pile comfy pillows under him and my arm and sit with my legs up (under a pillow) on the coffee table.

But seriously? Breastfeeding in bed saved my life. I was able to lay down comfortably, and Nolan was able to get a good latch because I was comfortable.

Because Nolan was in NICU for two-three weeks, I pumped like crazy and that seriously helped with my milk flow AND having storage of milk. Drinking beer also helps, but make sure she doesn't drink TOO much and it is a brand with very high yeast.

And I'm not sure why he was up THAT often, I'd say he had a very insecure night. Nolan got those, where he would NEED to be in my arms. Know what helped there? A mobile/music box that had a heartbeat feature.

Hope my comment will help in some way! Keep up the great work, tell Jane she's doing awesome :) and so are you of course!

UPDATE from Tarzan: Well, Jane is slowly getting through all of your comments. :) Between breasteeding and napping, there is little time left in the day! We have a list of questions going based on the comments above and will post the follow-up blog as soon as we can.

Thanks for ALL of the comments and advice! They have already been really helpful for us and will be back to post on this subject with updates, questions, etc. very soon. :)

To help with the sleep I have one word: swaddle!!!! Get one of those "Swaddle Me" blankets from Babies R Us, and swaddle him before you put him to bed. My baby boy (a month old) was not sleeping very much either, and once I started swaddling him it got better. I wasn't doing this until a friend advised me to "swaddle the heck out of him." =) It's the best advice I've gotten so far! He will now sleep for 4 hour periods of time at night! Without the swaddle we are lucky if he sleeps for 2 hours at a time.

I think you said you watched the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD. I read the book (well skimmed the book) and the advice has basically saved my sanity!

Hello and congrats.

Everyone has covered the questions very well. I just wanted to take some time to add a few things about PPD and PP Anxiety and Panic Disorder.

After the birth of my first daughter I had PPD. I had all of the classic symptoms. I didn't feel connected to the baby. I thought the baby hated me...etc, etc. Thankfully I'm not shy about going to the dr and I went after about 2 weeks and got on meds.

After the birth of my 2nd daughter, things were very bad. I had Post Partum Panic and Anxiety Disorder....this is completely different than PPD and not something you hear as much about. Infact, I had never heard of it. I speak from having both and you need to watch for this one. I wasn't eating, wasn't sleeping and EVERY night between 7-9 I would have a panic attack at the thought of being home with the baby at night. The dr said this is called "sunsetting". My blood pressure would go through the roof and I would feel like I was having a heart attack. I had minor panic attacks during the day (while I was alone) but the night time were far worse and almost unmanageable. Thankfully again, I went to the dr and got put on meds.

Baby Blues are very common, but, please watch for anything that may go beyond the "blues". Don't think there is anything wrong with having this, it's just hormones.

I wish you all of the best....New babies are stressful and exhausting...but, there is no greater gift...Once you hit 12 weeks, life will change.

Hi Tarzan and Jane

1) Yes the crazy cycles are normal! Most babies have a bewitching hour - which usually last early evening into the night - they want to eat every few minutes and like to be held. This is NORMAL and it PASSES with time. You may want to look at how much the baby is sleeping during the day. Many babies are born with their cycles reversed - so that they are sleeping more during the day and up at night - if this is happening, try to keep your baby awake more during the day to help reverse the cycle.

2) You absolutely want to wait 4-6 weeks before giving the baby a bottle. Jane needs the breastfeeding to increase her milk supply and get it stabilized and little baby T needs to learn how to nurse. If you introduce a bottle too soon you run the risk of reduced supply and a baby that refuses to nurse. I know it is tempting - but please DON'T do it! You may think it will make things easier, but it will really make it more difficult and will lead to a whole host of other difficulties.

3) Some tips: tell Jane to rest EVERY TIME the baby rests - don't worry about housework or cooking dinner or doing laundry - she needs to sleep - giving birth is a traumatic experience for her body - she needs to get lots of fluids, good nutritition and LOTS of sleep.

please read my breastfeeding tips article: http://breastfeedingtips.net - it has lots of great tips and will help Jane tremendously.

Please feel free to email me directly if you have any other questions.

The postpartem blues might be just a side effect of being tired right now. You might find it goes away when she's more rested. If not, or if it gets too bad, get help right away. I had severe depression after my first two but not after the last one. I think I'll be fine after this one.t

With nursing and not sleeping long enough, I recommend nursing on only one side per nursing. This will help the baby get more hindmilk which is richer in calories and will satisfy the baby for longer. Of course, if she is sure her breast is empty and the baby is fussy for more, switch sides. Also, consider...I mean really consider practicing and getting a hang of nursing while lying down. Baby and mom can lie stomach to stomach. If you can get this down, baby will fall asleep and stay asleep if you let me just sleep next to her. Not jostling the baby will help him stay asleep. Baby will be ok without burping after every nursing...he may spit up a bit more...but unless he has issues like reflux or spits up A LOT, he should be fine without burping every time. He'll also sense her presence and stay asleep longer. Studies show that cosleeping also helps regulate baby's temperature and respiration rate. Mom will get much more rest as well. Let moving the baby to a separate sleeper wait until mom is more rested. DON"T cosleep if you have a water bed, are very overweight, or on sedating drugs/alcohol. Don't use heavy covers.

I know some are really afraid of cosleeping but it really is a life saver for new moms. I had my 4th baby on Friday (a couple days after you) and I'm already sleeping 2-3 hours at a time and 6-7 hours a night so I know it works.

There is absolutely no reason for you to be sitting there awake while the baby sleeps! Seriously. Just bring the baby into the bedroom and you'll hear him when he wakes and needs something.

Personally, w/ my first he slept next to me on the couch for the first few weeks and then in his own room (we had a monitor) and my second I slept w/ on the couch for the first 2 months before putting her in her own bed. If baby is near mama he WILL SLEEP LONGER! Seriously! My son would eat every 2 hours at night if he was sleeping in his own bed and about 4 hours if he was next to me. And don't be so afraid of the whole co-sleeping thing the doctors scare you about!! I just lay on my side w/ baby facing me on their side and my arm underneath their head.

But all in all baby needs to be close to mama! They hear mamas heartbeat for 9 months and are all comfy cozy, so it's hard to make the adjustment to being on a hard flat bed with no one around. Plus, sometimes they nurse just for comfort and to be close, so keep baby as close as possible to mom and they will be much happier! I sure wish someone had told me that with my first because my second has been so much easier to deal with because I've kept her by me at all times.

Also, if you don't have one yet, get a baby wrap to wear the baby! Not a snugli or bjiorn, something like a Moby wrap. You can even find some great ones on Etsy! They keep baby super close and comfy right up on the chest.

And I know you're trying to help mama out by helping with the baby so much, but make sure they get some space to bond. The cuddling needs to be done by mama, the diaper changes by daddy. And have her sit in a nice hot sitz bath fro 15-20 minutes a day!

I just wanted to throw it out there that as a 25 unmarried female. You people are scarring me for life. I was all thinking I'd like to have kids in the next couple of years with my boyfriend/soon to be fiance before the age of 30. I think adoption is the way to go. Yay barren uterus! :-)

Actually, now that we've moved on from my scarring. I think there's something else I haven't seen people say. When I was an infant and my mom was feeding me I would wake every 15-30 minutes. After the first couple of nights she realized my cries weren't for hunger, attention, someone change me my arse is damp, but actually noticed I would pull my little legs closer to me. By week 2/3 she couldn't figure it out until I refused to eat from her anymore and would turn my head. I was actually allergic to my mother's own breast milk and it was confirmed from the doctor and my father (also a physician)!!! It was causing me terrible stomach aches and lactose intolerant type of symptoms. Have you noticed that with your little one? Maybe it's waking because its in pain?

I could be wrong but I know sometimes people wouldn't think of things like that because it is not always common.

HUGS. I know it is funny to hug you guys but I just want to do that. I hope you did get some rest and know that half way around the world, someone ( moi) is keeping you great guys in her thoughts!

The comments here are so generous and useful. Sorry to leech on these comments but it provides me and my husband some ideas what to expect! I am panicking a little honestly but it helps me to list out things and expectations and all possible outcome to anticipate our precious in Jan'10.

Infact, my poor husband was greeted at the doorstep by a crazy wife yelling "DO YOU KNOW WHERE TO GET DIAPERS , POWDER AND BREAST MILK PADS ?" instead of the usual kiss and "Honey, did you conquer the corporate world again ?" smile.

I forced him to sit and plan with me. He confess all the research he had done was where are the fun places to bring our little girl out to play... His job over this weekend is to sit and read all the post in your blog! I need him to be in sync with me more. I am terrified of baby blues but now I am more aware of the symptoms thanks again!

I know, I am not using your blog as THE GUIDE but all the comments here are awesome and I am making a list of all the things to think about.

Not to hijack your post but to tell you, hey! You are helping so many new parents and I wish I can help more but being new myself, I can't. All I can say is, thanks and I will jump in in any other way I can help. Take care and I hope you get more sleep tonight!

Oh I just saw your reply Tarzan and wanted to comment: PLEASE don't stay up to watch baby T sleep! At night, you must both take advantage of the times he is asleep to sleep yourselves. The only time you may want to stay up is to watch over Jane if she is nursing lying down-- just to make sure she doesn't lean onto the baby if she doses off (it's ok for her to dose off if you're watching- get it?)
Otherwise--- SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP when he does:-)

I didn't read all the replies, but my heart is really going out to you guys right now. PLEASE understand that everyone has a hard time with the first weeks. It's very difficult to adjust. The baby AND the mom are learning breastfeeding, which is a process that takes some weeks to become efficient.
It's quite normal for babies to breastfeed every hour sometimes in the first days/weeks. Remember that their stomachs are only about the size of their fist- pretty tiny- and breastmilk is so easily digested that it's easy/normal for them to be hungry that quickly. It's okay for Jane to start pumping and try to store some milk in the freezer for later, but wise to avoid bottle-feeding for a least the first few weeks till breastfeeding is well established. Jane will need to try to nap whenever she can. Learning to feed while lying down on her side can be a great relief when the feeds are so frequent.
The good news is that she has a wonderfully supportive husband to help her. I know you two are really tired, but you are doing the right thing. Breast is best and it won't be like this for very long. As Monkey grows, he will feed longer at each feeding as his stomach gets larger and can hold more milk.
Hang in there. I know it's very hard right now.
As for Jane's diet...you might want to look into smoothies or other drinks with lots of calories to fill the gaps. She needs to keep her fluids up, and she'll be so tired that it will be hard to eat enough. Several small meals (every couple of hours) are better than trying to tackle 3 big meals a day. Snacks that are easy to eat with one hand while nursing are great. Drinks with a straw, that kind of thing.

As for the blues- you are doing the right things with letting her rest as much as possible and helping her to eat healthy. Another tip is encouraging her to go for short walks (as soon as she feels up to it) or just get out of the house for a few minutes each day-- say, right after a feeding so the baby won't need her. It can really help to just be in a different environment for a break regularly.

I agree with the previous postings, I also recommend the Brest friend pillow and a medella step stool as well, they will line up your body in the way that takes off pressure of your back while breastfeeding.
To increase your milk supply, I recommend eating freshly baked bread (because yeast increases the milk). Another thing is "mother's milk" tea, sold at Whole foods, though i never used it but people say it's great, it has fenigruk (not sure how to spell it seeds in it).
As far as baby blues, I would recommend that Tarzan spends more time playing or carrying the baby monkey around, and let Jane have some personal time to take a bath. Another thing is Jane should try to eat more fruits and drink some organge juice, that helps. I am not a big fan of taking newborn babies out to restaurants, stores or on the town...but maybe you could visit family or best friends. Also maybe getting a haircut or nails done could make Jane feel better. Also Tazrzan should make sure she always has food, and it would be great if she did not have to cook or do laundry, the only thing that she should be doing is breasfeeding, and singing/talking and cuddling with the baby...otherwise, just walking around the house in pajamas, eating, and doing sits-bath...lol. Goodluck to you guys, every step of the way some things get easier, but other things get harder...the main thing is I applaud you for being so caring about you baby, and always remember spending time with you baby and paying attention to him will pay off.

I posted earlier and meant to add, I read that you should try to eat a high protien diet when feeding and in the beginning I noticed that if I made the effort to do that, my milk semed to satisfy my baby for longer. Eating well is so important.

Congratulations on your new baby!!! Sounds like you are all doing well, the baby is pooping, which is good, and waking up to feed, that's great too. He is probably going through a growth spurt, that's why it's every 30 ming. Another reason for waking up could be that he does not like sleeping in his pack and play...you could try buying a sleep positioner for him to make him more comfortable or you could try putting the baby to sleep with you for one night, if it's a specially tough period when he is waking so much, this way he might sleep longer.
I was told the same thing, i.e. not to pump for 4 weeks. I would recommend to follow the hospital's advice--do not pump! 1) pumping will increase your milk supply, so you might get more milk than you need, and it could cause you to get clogged...a friend of mine was pumping too early and she ended up with a clogged breast and an infection and they had to put her on antibiotics. 2) your baby should not get a bottle till at least 3-4 weeks, though giving an occasional formula on a tough night once is not a big deal. 3) pumping is exhausting and it's not as pleasant as breastfeeding (well at least in my opinion) so why torture yourself before you need to. 4) the only thing that is good about having a pumped bottle, you could ask Tarzan to wake up and feed the baby for you at night, but again this is too early for the baby to get a bottle, he might not take the breast if you start giving him bottles so early on.

Okay, I don't know what other people have said, since there are sooo many comments, but, I'm still gonna add my 2 cents. First off, wait 6 weeks for Monkey and Jane to establish a bf relationship before pumping. This was told to me by La Leche League. You should look in your phone book for a local number for them. They were VERY helpful for me. There are meetings you can go to, and they will answer your questions and help with nursing.

The first month or two will be the hardest, but you all will get through it and look back and think, "Wow, we did it!"

Oh, and Jane may not be eating because she's just not hungry, not that it's depression. I didn't have an appetite for the first week or so. Maybe longer. I had to force myself to eat. Just keep offering her food, and hopefully she'll snack here and there.

Hang in there!

The insane sleep cycles can only last a short period, or they can be your child's temperament. Our first son slept wonderfully - at least at night. Our 2nd son slept much like yours. It was a VERY long first year with our 2nd. Swaddling seemed to help both our boys sleep better overall in those early months. A white noise machine or an alarm clock with a white noise function will help drown out some of the normal household noises while the baby sleeps. Again, not needed with our first, but needed with our 2nd.

I wish I had a magic cure for breastfeeding too. I had trouble with both of our sons, and my supply dried up early on with both. I spent many hours on the phone with a friend's mom who is a nurse and has breastfed 3 of her own kids. The best thing I learned from it all is that the baby knows which nipple they want, as far as bottle, breast, or binky. Both my kids had a strong sucking reflex, and binkies were a must for us. I've never heard of waiting to pump. I was encouraged to pump in the early days with both since they were both frequent eaters so that I could get a break now and then. Even with introducing the binky and bottle to both boys early on, they both preferred the breast.

The best advice I was ever given was to sleep when the baby sleeps. Even if it's only 20 minutes, it can help in the long run. (((HUGS))) it does get better eventually.

Hey guys! I hope you're doing well. Some of the info you've gotten is great, some not so much. The funny thing about breastfeeding is that it's so instinctual to want to give Monkey the best, but it's 100% knowledge based to actually do it. That's definitely something I wish someone had told me before I started, lol. Anyway, I emailed you/tweeted to you about the lactation consult (free!), so get back to me if you're interested ASAP. The sooner you talk with her, the better =)

Amy

I have a six week old boy, a 3 week old niece, and a 8 week old niece - LoL No we didn't plan it like that! - so let me see if I can answer these a little too. :-) I know I'm a "newbie" too but sometimes having someone who was literally JUST there can help out a lot. I'm always asking my sister-in-law (with the 8 week old) questions.

1. Are the crazy cycles: eat, change, put down to bed, wake up 30 minutes later hungry, etc. normal? Do they happen often or is it happen just every once in awhile?

Answer: These are normal, and for me they are already fewer & far between. He now sleeps around 4 hours each time he falls asleep. That's not to say that sometimes he stays awake from one feeding all the way til the next, but it gets a lot better and you really get used to it quick. Once you are getting 3-4 hours of *mostly* uninterrupted sleep, you feel like it is a lot. For me, these cycles seemed to happen the most often from his "Week 1 Birthday" til his "Week 3 Birthday", with week 3 being the worst. After that, it really started dropping off.

2. We do know it takes some time for her and Baby Monkey to get used to it and learn, but are there any shortcuts you’ve learned or anything Jane can do that you found useful?

Answer Well, now. Call the hospital where you had Baby T & ask for the lactation department/consultant. See if their services are free of charge if you had your baby there. The hospital I had my son at had lactation consultants available 5 days a week, free of charge. I know you said you guys had one of the ladies come in while you were still in the hospital. If you see one of the ladies again, they may be able to show you some "new moves" to make it easier. For me, I just had to keep trying different holds & asking the lady if I was doing my favorite hold just right. His head was just a tad too far to my side, so she moved it & viola! It just clicked. :-)

3. Do you have any ideas, thoughts, suggestions on anything that helped you with postpartum blues?

Answer I really didn't have postpartum blues, but my SIL with the 3 week old did/does a little still and she said that she just has to tell herself that there is an end in sight! Baby T will be sleeping through the night, Jane will no longer be sore/stitched/engorged/etc very soon, much sooner than we realize! It won't last forever, and looking back it won't seem like it lasted a minute.

4. Someone told us at the hospital that you need to wait 4-6 weeks and a friend told us that Jane could be doing that now. Which is correct and/or what did you do?

Answer Jane can start pumping now, but my personal experience is that if you pump now, freeze it til Baby T is 4-6 weeks old, the older the better. It's not the pumping you're supposed to wait on, it is the bottle. If you introduce the bottle too early, Baby T *might* get "nipple confusion" and not want to take the breast/bottle. To help her engorgement & to help stimulate more milk supply, pumping in between feedings is very helpful. If she's not too tired. If she is, it won't hurt not to pump. It's just whatever makes her comfortable. Be sure when you do introduce a bottle to get a bottle type that is made more like the breast. I love Playtex Drop-Ins and the BreastFlow. They are a bit expensive, though.

I hope these have been helpful, my answers & everyone else's. If you guys need anything else, just let us know - we are all here to help you. Good luck with everything.

The only advice that I can give you is in regards to the sleep and how to get more of it while breastfeeding. I breastfed both my children and learned a few tricks from my mom and grandma. The best and most efficient was to nurse the baby while lying on my side in bed. Since baby can sometimes nurse for a while, this gives mom a chance to rest while baby eats. IF Jane falls asleep while nursing, then you, Tarzan, can quietly get Monkey and do all the necessary burping and changing while Jane gets some sleep. I cannot count how many times I did this and fell right asleep and had the best rest EVER. A lot of times baby will also fall asleep while nursing in this position, leading to more sleep for EVERYONE!

Just remember that "this too shall pass". With Monkey feeding so much, it is just him trying to get the milk supply up to a level he needs. Soon he will go longer in between nursing times and you will be able to get longer periods of rest.

1. The crazy cycles tend to go on for a while. Its normally about 2-4 hr in between feedings, and when you add the actual breast feeding time in there, diaper change, falling back asleep, 30 mins, then its about time to wake back up again. Hopefully your lucky like I was and get some sleep in the next couple of weeks. Sounds like a long time, but as you say the time just blends in. Just remind mommy to nap when ever the little one is napping to help keep her strength up.

3. Post Partum: Although you think you aren't doing enough, I say that you are doing a whole lot mroe than some husbands do. It makes it all the more important that you understand what she's going through and just being for her is the most important thing you can do. As for her eating, that always changes when you are breast feeding, however you are right and she needs extra calories. Try having her drink Ensure or a drink like that if she's not hungy or doesnt have energy to eat.
Having my husband be supportive, helpful, and understand would have made it 100x's better. I think you are doing great! Just keep being there for her.

4.Breast Feeding/pumping : You can start pumping as soon as you would like. I fed my son and then pumped and froze what was left. That way when I was too tired (ie:falling asleep with baby at the boob) his dad could warm it up and put in bottle.

Hey everyone! I just wanted to say THANK YOU SO SO MUCH for all of the replies above! Jane and I really appreciate all of the help, ideas, comments, stories, etc.

We couldn't believe how many of you reached out to help us here - thanks so much!

Here's our plan: Jane and I will be reading ALL of the comments above throughout the day in between feedings and naps. Although we always like to reply to as many comments as we can, that's going to be a little difficult with over 70 long replies :)

So, as we read these comments I'll write down questions and comments Jane and I have and post the questions/comments either here or in a new blog post today.

Thanks everyone, you rock! :)

I haven't read any of the above comments (there's just so many!) but I can tell you that there is a really really good video you should get by Shari Crisco at The Baby Experts. I sell it on my site and it's called Simply Breastfeeding. It covers all the things you guys are struggling with - okay, not everything, but a lot. Pumping, milk supply, etc.
One thing that is very important for you to know is that if Jane starts pumping now for the purpose of you feeding baby Monkey, you will create more problems with breastfeeding as far as supply issues go. Jane needs to breastfeed regularly so her breasts know how much milk to make. If she goes all night without breastfeeding then her breasts will start making less milk, assuming that she doesn't need to feed the baby except once every 7 hours or so. Then baby monkey will not be able to get as much milk as he needs and this will more than likely further contribute to any ppd issues she is already having. This is what leads to formula feeding in many cases. Your support is going to pull her through this. All babies wake at night and need to feed. This is what ALL babies do. This is what they are supposed to do. Jane's job is to feed him. Your job is to support her, sleep through most of it and let her sleep in the daytime between feeds. I know it's not easy. I have been there twice and I am glad the early days are over, as precious as they also can be.

Hi Tarzan - If Jane is having a lot of trouble breastfeeding, Monkey may be waking up every 30 minutes because he is not getting enough to eat in the first place. This is no fault of Jane's - it just may be taking her body a little time to produce a sufficient amount of milk. You guys may want to go ahead and try pumping OR supplement in-between feedings with a formula. This would also allow you to feed Monkey more ... giving Jane a much-needed break and you time to also build a close bond with your baby. Also, try letting him sleep in his stroller or swing so he has more support around him. Or if you want him to sleep in the pac and play, wrap him in a swaddle blanket (a little more secure than a sleep sack) and use the positioner thing so he doesn't roll over.

Some tips for you (and all dads) on the postpartum blues and postpartum depression:

1) The baby blues are not a mood disorder. They are a normal hormonal adjustment period the majority of mothers go through. They generally resolve on their own 3-5 weeks postpartum. They don't require psychiatric treatment. A mom who has symptoms similar to the baby blues that are continuing or worsening after that 5-week period should call her doctor (crying, feeling of disconnection, irritability, feeling overwhelmed and perhaps like she should never have become a mother, major changes in eating or sleeping habits).
2) If she does get postpartum depression or a related illness she is lucky to have a husband like you who cares so much. Here are some tips from my husband on what it is like to have a wife with PPD: http://postpartumprogress.typepad.com/weblog/2008/...
3) There is a great book for dads whose wives are suffering from a perinatal mood disorder. It's called "The Postpartum Husband" by Karen Kleiman (you could get it on Amazon I'm sure). She guides you through not only supporting your wife/partner )
4) There is a a site called The Postpartum Dads Project that shares insight from various dads who've been through PPD with their wives. I imagine it would be very helpful to men looking for answers. http://postpartumdadsproject.org/

Hope this helps. Katherine, Postpartum Progress

Here is my two cents:

-Because my baby was born premature and didn't know how to latch to my breast, I started pumping right away. I had a lot of help and support from my hospital's lactation consultant (who happened to be my birthclass coach.) Perhaps you guys could contact a lactation consultant or your local Le Leche League for help. You may be able to rent a breast pump if you don't have one. And pumping helped SO MUCH with my baby blues because I could sleep while me husband took over some of the feedings. The most sleep I got, the better I felt!

-Your baby may be cluster feeding or "snacking." He could be going through a growth spurt. Don't be shy about calling your doctor if you are concerned.

-I definitely had the baby blues and just recently (now 3 months after my delivery) have been diagnosed with Postpartum Depression after the pressures of breastfeeding and returning to work fulltime got the best of me. Please have Jane contact her OB or regular doctor if she is having trouble coping. I did and I feel SO much better!

I have covered all of my personal experiences with baby stuff on my blog, so feel free to head over there and search for breastfeeding, PPD or baby blues.

You guys are doing great! I know you are tired and that everything seems hectic right now--the first 4-6 weeks are rough, but you are doing wonderfully!

1. Are the crazy cycles: eat, change, put down to bed, wake up 30 minutes later hungry, etc. normal? Do they happen often or is it happen just every once in awhile?

This is a totally normal pattern for the first couple weeks. You two are in for some sleepless nights and a lot of diapers. When a baby is born they have to clear out their system and breastmilk is the best way for them to do that. Some babies don't mind being poopy or wet, but other don't like it at all. I know at first, Stetson would sleep right through dirtying himself and even though we checked often, he ended up with a nasty diaper rash. Just keep your chins up, it will pass. But it will seem like forever. And then on night he'll sleep for 3 hours and you'll think died and went to heaven. By 3-4 months they should be eating every 2.5-3 hours nursing or 3-4 hours formula feeding. It took Stetson about 3.5 months to get there. Every baby is different.

2. We do know it takes some time for her and Baby Monkey to get used to it and learn, but are there any shortcuts you’ve learned or anything Jane can do that you found useful?
Honestly, there are no shortcuts, but always remembering "this too shall pass" always helps. It does take time, months of time. Baby Monkey will get the hang of things and so will Jane. 6 weeks is the magic week (for most), it's when feeding become easier, they may start sleeping better, ect. If Jane is having problems with feeding, PLEASE get in contact with a lactation specialist! Breastfeeding may be natural, but it doesn't come natural. It's very much a learned process. And some babies like to nurse in ONE position. Stetson did best in the cradle position with his head in the crook of the elbow and laying tummy to tummy with mom. Its also nice 'cause Jane will have a free hand that way. As for getting comfortable, have to test out places. Try nursing on the couch, in a dining chair, on the floor, in the bed propped with pillows, eventually she'll find a comfortable spot. Babies do not need a lot to eat at first, their tummies are the size of a marble to begin with and that digests FAST. That's why they need to eat so often. I promise it gets easier and more natural if you stick with it. But always do what's right for you and your baby, if that means formula feeding, by all means do what's right.

3. Do you have any ideas, thoughts, suggestions on anything that helped you with postpartum blues?
I cried to my mom. Everything would upset me. It's the worst for about 2 weeks, but it can last longer. Baby blues can also effect your appetite. But its very important to eat and drink LOTS of water. And Tarzan, I must say, Jane is a very lucky lady. You sound like you're very helpful and believe or not that helps a lot. I was lucky if my boyfriend changed a diaper every now and then and that makes things even worse. Ask often if she needs anything or wants and help. If anyone offers to bring you things, accept it.

4. Someone told us at the hospital that you need to wait 4-6 weeks and a friend told us that Jane could be doing that now. Which is correct and/or what did you do?
It isn't recommended to give the bottle just yet, but you can but take caution that it can mess with Baby Monkey's latch, and it can also make him not want to breastfeed because he has to work harder to nurse then to eat from a bottle. It lets him be lazy. I introduced a bottle right away because I could get Stetson to latch on when my milk came in. So I would let him suck on the bottle for a couple seconds and then quickly swap him to breast and he latched on right away, perfectly. It helped us. By 2 weeks we never needed the bottle again. Beware though as they get older, if you're nursing and bottle feeding they may fight the bottle. Now, Stetson won't touch a bottle unless he's STARVING. Crazy babies.

5. Did I forget to add some of the questions I asked above? I’m too tired to go through this post again.
Just on a side note...When babies are born, they have their nights and days confused. If they know what it is at all. So start during the day keep the area bright and try not to quiet the house so much, nursing is good lighting and when he's awake talk to him, play with him a little. And at night time, darken the room, nursing in the dark (or by dim light), and don't play with him or talk to much to him. It can over stimulate him and make sleep harder for him. This usually helps when they're a couple weeks old, but start it early so you get a routine of it down.

P.S. Read this amazing article that will give you all the answers (no I do not work for this website, I just like what they have to say!) http://www.parenting.com/article/Baby/Feeding/The-...

The crazy night stuff is really hard, I know I have 3 kids. Usually babies have their days and nights mixed up and they grow out of it. Babies are used to moving around at night when mommy is laying still and sleeping during the day because mommies movements lull them to sleep. So hang in there. I think it is awesome how you are there for your wife and do so much for her.

I personally wouldn't pump and give it to the baby all the time. My sister had a problem with the baby getting too used to the bottle and then refusing nursing and she couldn't keep up with his milk needs.

Those are just my opinions, good luck and hang in there because it does get easier and someday you will get to sleep again.

Okay, no one wants to say this, but I will. There is nothing wrong with giving the baby one bottle of formula in a middle of the night feeding so Jane can sleep at least 3 - 4 hours straight. It will not harm her breastfeeding. The sleep deprivation is probably increasing the stress hormones and worsening the baby blues. Please be kind to yourselves. You do the formula feed, your baby will sleep better than ever because of the fullness factor and Jane will feel so much better when she gets up for the next breastfeeding session. There I said it. Formula can be your friend.

Everyone says don't use pacifiers but if this 30 minute cycle continues I would try a pacifier instead of feeding. It may be that your little one just wants to suck, and doesn't even want to feed. On the other hand, if you already are using pacifiers too much or improperly, that could be your problem with the short cycles.

Lactation consultants work wonders and you guys should definitely think about meeting with one, especially if you didn't take an intensive breastfeeding class. There's so much to know! does she have a breast feeding pillow? The "my breast friend" pillow works wonders (way better then boppy i think). Also, undress the baby while he's breastfeeding. not only is skin to skin contact VERY beneficial but it also sounds like he isn't eating enough in one feeding. Is he falling asleep at the breast at all? The undressing helps so that he's not all warm and cuddly so he's focusing on feeding. He will probably eat more and quicker.

I would wait on the pumping for a few days because of nipple confusion. That could make her breastfeeding so much more difficult. It's easier for the baby to take milk from the bottle then from the breast (even with the slowest nipple flow) so some babies get lazy and refuse to take from the breast after they've had a bottle - so be careful with that. If things don't get easier soon though, there's no problem with pumping - just absolutely make sure you get a newborn nipple. I like the avent bottles for that - and they also help with gas.

HOWEVER - The best advice I can give you besides this is it's great to listen to other people for advice or ideas but at the end of the day you need to trust Jane's mommy instinct. It seems to me like you guys are very dependant on the blog & twitter. I would take some time out to just block out everything. Just tell Jane to do what feels right for her. Every baby is different and only you guys can know what he needs and what feels right for you guys. Don't underestimate the mommy instinct - even if she doesn't feel like she has it - because trust me, she does.

I didn't read through all the comments above, so sorry if some of this is duplicate advice.

Have you researched "cluster feeding"? It might be what Monkey is going through. Usually they do that when they go through a growth spurt.

No tips on the breastfeeding other than see a lactation specialist. They really helped me out in the beginning, but then my little dude had a serious bout with Jaundice and we gave up. I'm exclusively pumping now and it works great for both of us. Jane can indeed pump now! I don't know why anyone would say to wait. The lactation nurses at the hospital had me pumping while I was there. My advice on the pumping is that not every pump works for every person! Everyone told me the three hundred dollar Medela was the only way to go, but I have a miPump and I love it. I get more milk from it, and it only cost me 60 bucks! (I only got the single one, which might be fine if she continues BFing, but I suggest the double because it's quicker and keeps supply more even.)

As for bottles, yes, they can get a preference and get lazy with BFing... but try the BreastFlow bottles by The First Years. They aren't by the regular bottles in Babies R' Us, but rather by the pumps. This bottle re-taught my little dude how to latch. I don't do it often of course, but it's nice to be able to throw him onto the breast in a pinch when I don't have pumped milk leftover or we're out somewhere and I ran out of formula. If Monkey gets a bottle and decides that's what he likes better, but Jane still wants to BF, a nipple shield is your BEST FRIEND!!! :)

Also, keep in mind you'll get a crapload of advice from everyone, but the best advice is to do what WORKS FOR YOU GUYS. There is no other baby in the world like Monkey, and there is no other Mommy in the world like Jane. Unless either of them has written a how-to book personally, take everything with a grain of salt and do whatever makes everyone happiest.

Wow, ask a question and get a million answers :-). I was pumping in the hospital, my daughter DID get nipple confusion - and our response was to buy every bottle ever made until we found one that she seemed to be not-so-confused about (for us, it was the MAM anti-colic bottles @ BRU if that matters, for my SIL it was playtex drop-ins.) She also was (and still is) a pacifier baby - it helped her sleep, though that doesn't help with the nipple confusion, if that's a problem (which for some babies, it never is, so you never know.) Sometimes they just want something to suck on.

Yes, Jane needs to eat eat eat and DRINK. I have no suggestions as to what specifically to eat, but I do know that breast milk NEVER lacks in quality. If you don't eat enough of the right things, you will simply produce less milk, not milk of a lower quality. A lactation consultant might really help, as they usually come out to your house and spend time with you, and it's more comfortable being in your own home than in the hospital, which, sometimes makes it easier.

The Baby Blues are tough. I gave birth on a Saturday, and two Mondays after was the worst day of all. I cried for 3 hours straight, and didn't know why. After that, every day got easier. If you are able to ask for help (friends, family, etc) - do it! I can't stress that enough.

Good luck, guys.

I do not really have any advice to offer, being that I am still waiting for my little girl to make her entrance into the world... (any day now would be great Little One!)... but I have to thank you for being so open and honest about bringing home Monkey. I often wondered how it would be to have our lives completely turned upside down, and feeling clueless about how to do everything.

I have been reading through all of the comments, and am really glad that you posted your problems so that I (and other pregnant followers) could benefit from the experience, and knowledge of your other readers.

There is some wonderful advice on here, and I can say that some of this stuff I have heard as well. Holding the baby to breast feed and resting the mothers arms on the 'Boppy' pillow, and pumping so that the father can help with feedings are two that stuck in my mind. I havent had any actual breast feeding experience... but several of my friends that had babies in the last two months pumped right away, and their babies are doing wonderfully! This did allow Daddy to help out and bond with their Little Ones. And Mommy could get some needed sleep, or not feel rushed in the shower. Also, while PPD and the baby blues are a little different than regular depression, I can say that a change in scenery, even for a little store trip, can go a long way to making a person feel a little more 'human'. Maybe Jane (if she is up to it) could run out and pick up some carry-out food for lunch or dinner. Also, anything that she does to proactively make herself feel better can really lead to feeling a bit better... atleast with regular depression. It gives you a sembelence of control in a situation where you feel hopeless or lost.

I am sending you guys lots of love and happy thoughts! I think that in a week of two, you guys will find your routine and things will settle down. Have confidence that you can do it! I know that you can. After all, look at all that you have already accomplished! (And you can help remind me of that in a week when I'm walking around like a lost zombie) :)

First of all, kudos to you, Tarzan, for being such a supportive, thoughtful, wonderful husband!

I think when Jane starts pumping that'll help a LOT with her postpartum blues. (I never heard anything about have to wait 4-6 weeks, either.) I wasn't able to breastfeed for very long, so my son was formula fed, and having the freedom to take a bath, a nap, or sit somewhere quiet and read while my husband watched our boy was really liberating. It's nice to "get away" every once in a while. I would also suggest that you and Jane take Monkey on lots of walks -- getting out of the house and into the fresh air does wonders! You could even set up a spa day for Jane, complete with a massage and pedicure/manicure once she starts pumping. That would definitely help her feel better.

Monkey could be going through a growth spurt and that's why he wants to eat so much. Those are tough during the first six weeks or so! You guys are doing a great job!

This is going to sound strange, but Youtube actually has some great how-to videos on breastfeeding. Also it could really help Jane get some rest and little T to take longer naps if she could master the art of nursing laying down (her and baby side by side, facing each other). She doesn't have to sleep that way... I know many people are freaked out by co-sleeping, but if she can get the hang of that position she can be so much more comfortable and relax a little.
As far as pain, the biggest culprit is usually poor latch. Everyone says to wait until the babies mouth is wide and then stick the breast into his mouth, but even that doesn't always work because the baby has to suck the nipple DEEP into his mouth. Medela makes something called a nipple shield that can be found online or in Target. I used it for my third child who could just not get the hang of nursing and in three days he had a perfect latch and we no longer had to use it. It also cut my pain in half and gave my nipples a chance to heal a bit. Many people do not recommend nipple shields because they could cause nipple confusion, but if it's getting to the point where Jane is considering pumping and bottle feeding anyway, then I'd try the nipple shield first.
Lastly, why is Jane going through so many breast pads!? Is she changing them every single time she feeds? Because you REALLY don't have to. You just change them when they get wet. I use 60 count Lansinoh brand (I've tried others, these are best) boxes and I've only bought 4 boxes since Elliot was born 2 months ago.

oh my Gosh! dude! sleep! sleep whenever you can!

i'll tell you what. i'll come help Jane & you can come here & teach my husbandandfatherofMANY some pregnantwife/newmommy/babydaddy manners mkay?

and seriously... go to SLEEP!!!

I know you've had tons of advice given here - but here's one more.

Jane HAS to eat and eat hearty meals. You cannot fill up a baby on snack foods/salads alone. Just remember, he gets what she eats!

Also, the first milk that a baby gets from the breast is very thin and watery. It's not until the breast drains that the baby gets what's called "hind milk" which is thicker and will keep them full longer. So.....what I had to do is ONLY nurse on one breast so that my son could get ALL the milk there. That meant that I then pumped the other side so I wouldn't be so full. (I alternated which breast he fed from since baby is much more efficient than a pump.) I helped in two ways. First, baby was full longer and two, it gave Dad some frozen milk that he could use to help out.

About pumping....my lactation consultant is the one who encouraged me to start pumping so early!

First off, congratulations on the birth of your son. My baby (#4 yikes lol) was born just a month ago.

Jane can start pumping once her milk comes in. Atleast that is what i did with my other 3. Pumping will also help increase her supply so that Monkey is able to get more per feeding. Babies typically nurse anywhere from 30 minutes to one hour every 2 hours, so having a few bottles ready would definately help Jane out.

Babies make up their own schedule. Baby Noah has decided that being up at 3am is his thing for now. He is also up every 1-2 hours wanting to be fed, and changed, sometimes more. (He was a premie though so he is high needs). This cycle that Monkey is on will change...multiple times. Eventually, he will get on even keel. It just takes some time

I just found out I am going through Post Partum Depression, which is no surprise since I had it with my daughter. The BEST thing Jane can do for herself is to take time for her. I know it is hard with a new baby and with her breast feeding, but even if it is just 10 minutes in the tub (again once she starts pumping and you have bottles ready it will be that much easier). Also, what she is going through is normal. I know that I felt like I was a bad mom because of how I felt, but I know that I am not. Encourage her to talk to her OB about her blues also seek out a support group. That way she can get out of the house and be around other mothers who are going through the same thing.

Just like everything else, this too shall pass. Just make sure that Jane is taking care of her. It is so easy to get caught up in taking care of the baby and forget that she has needs too.

Noah has colic, and when we first came home the ONLY way he would sleep was if I was holding him. I went through 2 weeks of no sleep, mostly crying during that time. Something that has really helped me (and i used it on ALL my kids) is one of those baby seats...( I will try to explain it the best I can lol) The seats sit low to the floor and most of them vibrate and play music. Noah cannot sleep on his back for some reason, and because he is so tiny, I am not putting him on his stomach. So he sleeps in the chair, which keeps him in a reclined position, (a swing works too). The other night he slept for 4 hours straight! While it may not be the most ideal situation, it works for me. :-)

Good luck and dont forget to take care of you daddy!! Also please let Jane know, that if you guys have any more questions, especially about PPD and babyblues, to please email me or contact me via twitter (www.twitter.com/crayoninmydryer)

Melissa

Holy cow are there a lot of comments! ;) I'm sorry if this is repeat information, and I'll try to make it quick!

*Does Baby Monkey have a binkie? The first few months babies have a natural sucking reflex that can sometimes be confused with them looking/acting hungry. Having said that, I wouldn't introduce the binkie until Monkey is better at breastfeeding (nipple confusion and all).
*Do you have a Bjorn? Seriously, the best purchase you can make. It keeps the baby close and snug, you can get done what you need to, AND you (as in Tarzan) can wear Monkey around (great bonding time) and let Jane sleep/relax.
*My 3rd baby had GER (reflux), so I couldn't lay him down right after feeding. His tummy would get upset and he'd wake up crying from the tummy pains. Might be best to hold Monkey on your shoulder, in the Bjorn, or put him in a bouncie after a feeding instead of laying him right down.
*It's also really important to remember that Monkey is just a week (?) old. He's still getting into the hang of being in the "real world". For 9 months he was fed through a tube and could sleep and play on his own time!

Hang in there. The 1st is always the hardest, I promise! :)

I was VERY sore after I had my son (third degree tear) and found that lying down was the only way I was really comfortable. Being uncomfortable won't lead to happy feeding. You say that Monkey is stiring and you'll have to wake Jane. Can you not try to prolong the not waking her for a bit? He is not necessarily hungry EVERY time he is crying, especially if he was only just fed. Try other stuff first before you wake her. He probably is hungry but it is worth a try.

I have two things to say:
1) I like happy house wife's post... ie: EAT ( I didn't and in retrospect this caused a lot of my challenges. She needs to have someone make or buy yummy/ healthy / hearty food. NO CEREAL only. try delivery from your grocery store or ask friends or mom to make lasagna.
2) It's all normal. What nobody tells you is that the first few MONTHS ( not weeks) are HELL. Pretend you two are on the amazing race and stick together/ tag team/ survival etc...
oh ya and Tarzan. you need to sleep too. No you don't have to stay awake on baby duty. You will hear him.!