Yes, we’ve come full circle here. It seems like years ago when Jane was 16 weeks pregnant and I was writing about her crazy hormones and lack of sex. Back then, I never thought too much about what life would be like after Monkey was born as far as sex was concerned.
I mean, what’s the deal? The last time we were at Jane’s doctor’s office we asked what are some things we can do to induce labor naturally at home and she told us to have lots of sex. I don’t know about you, but any doctor telling Jane and I to have lots of sex just secured me as a patient for life! LOL
Maybe I was all caught up in the craziness and excitement of the next chapter in our lives. Maybe it’s because I’ve been in such a fog lately due to the lack of sleep. Or maybe somehow the first part of parenthood somehow switches off your sex drive for awhile. Whatever it was, it’s gone away and I can’t wait for that damn 6-week post pregnancy follow-up appointment so we can finally get the “OK” from Jane’s doctor.
I’m telling you, the second she walks out of the room, I’m going to put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door, lock it, and… well, maybe the doctor’s office isn’t the best place. Maybe we can wait until we get to the parking lot. :)
So yeah, it hit me today. I really miss Jane. Heck, we haven’t slept in the same bed because of the shifts we’re on so we can both get a decent amount of sleep. She just did a lot of really nice things for me today as a nice thank you for being such a great Daddy and husband. So what did Jane do for me? Well…
1. Mommy Jane made me breakfast: Pancakes with blueberries, scrambled eggs, some strawberries, a bowl of cut up pineapple, coffee, and orange juice. I was in heaven! I was so full from her GREAT, GREAT surprise breakfast that I just had a banana for lunch.
2. My neck hurt a lot for some reason today and she rubbed my neck and back for a good 20 minutes.
3. Mommy Jane gave me a really nice and sweet card. (Two of them actually! One from her and one from Monkey and our dog saying thank you to me as well.) Note: I was a little concerned when I saw that our son writes bubbly like a girl, but I’m sure he’ll grow out of it. He’s merely three weeks old, so I’m sure he will. Our dog on the other hand has some really messy hand paw writing!
4. And she cooked a nice dinner for me – complete with a nice glass of a red wine I really like!
Whew! I love you Mommy Jane! Thank you so much!
What great ways to show your husband how much you love and appreciate him. :) I had a great day today – thank you beautiful!
So let’s talk about our dinner. It’s been awhile since I had wine and maybe it was the wine that did it, but man… Jane just drove me wild tonight. We both wished this horrible six weeks of no sex rule after your pregnant was somehow lifted for us. Like we were given a pardon or something and the curse was lifted. Jane was even up for it, but we both didn’t dare because of the risks of having sex after having a baby.
Risks? More on that in a moment. Now I don’t know if this is some terrible hoax, a secret government conspiracy to help keep the world’s population down, or if there is something to it. But there are risks they say. Believe me, I didn’t know anything about all of this before. And just in case you’re a guy learning about this crazy rule that pretty much puts a chastity belt on your wife, here’s some info about the “no sex rule” after pregnancy:
1. Sex After Giving Birth: This page has some great info on what you can and cannot do.
2. BabyCenter: Let’s Talk About Sex: Let’s talk about you and me… la la la… (remember that song!?) I was excited when I saw four weeks mentioned there, but then I saw the part about stitches. Urrgghh. Jane got stitches, so six weeks it is. err.
3. BabyCenter UUurrrrggghhhhh: Why oh why did I read some of those comments? Some of the woman commenting said that they had sex with their husband two weeks after having their baby.
4. Mayo Clinic: Answers to the most common questions about postpartum sex.
5. So you REALLY have to wait?: This is my favorite article about having sex after a baby. Why? They refer the six-week waiting period to “folk wisdom” and that woman should be given the freedom to choose! NICE.
OK, before I get a lot of heat from everyone, I do understand the purpose of the no sex rule. It’s to help a woman heal and ensure the risk of infection is kept at a minimum. I understand that. But why don’t doctors schedule the follow-up appointment for five weeks? Or four? I’m going to go with article # 5 listed above and their folk wisdom (the link goes to an interesting article on folk wisdom from Psychology Today). Sadly, they didn’t cover the big question, “how long do you have to wait to have sex after you have a baby?”
So where does all of this leave me? Well, not one inch further than I was before. Mommy Jane and I will of course be waiting until we get the OK from her doctor. We have what… three move long weeks ahead of us…urrgh.
Now what about you?
How long did you wait? Did you hold off until after your six week appointment? Did you break the no sex rule and *secretly* go against doctor’s orders? Did you wait even longer?
We’ve all heard stories of people going to their doctor on their six week appointment and finding out they are pregnant again. Any of you guilty of that charge? :)
You might also want to read:
- 11 weeks pregnant: we heard the heartbeat for the first time!
- 15 week doctor appointment: Baby and Uterus doing great!
- 38 weeks pregnant: OB pregnancy appointment, date night, & my labor dream
- The real cost of having a baby with no Maternity Insurance, no Medicaid, and no help.
- 32 weeks pregnant: OB pregnancy appointment