Formula is perfectly nutritious. Yes, the formula industry is as money-grubbing and unethical as any other; however, that does not negate the fact that the product they make is really great. Breastmilk is wonderful is many cases, but it just isn’t the best option in others. Don’t listen to propaganda like this- it will make you crazy.

You might be interested in a book that a scholar by the name of Joan Wolf is coming out with next fall… it is called “Is Breast Really Best” and goes into all the metastudies and basically rips this whole craziness apart with ration and science. I can’t wait!

This is a fan-freaking-tastic post. We were so adamant about breastfeeding, but then we battled many of the same issues you guys did, and PPD as well. I was talked into nursing while on my meds by LCs and LLL leaders, even though my son’s pediatrician advised against it. However, once I could see clearly (thanks to the meds) I had the strength to realize that I was doing more harm than good to my baby by nursing. He was allergic to my milk (which contrary to what many breastfeeding “experts” will tell you) and miserable… I won’t bore you with the details (you can read my story on my blog. I also tackle a lot of the subjects you covered here). And there was always the nagging voice in my head that cried foul on the concept that my antidepressants weren’t going to affect my baby… how could caffeine, alcohol, heck, even dairy and chocolate go through breastmilk and have an effect on a “nursling”, but meds wouldn’t, you know?

Regardless… I felt so much better when I switched to formula…until the nursing nazis came a-calling. And my husband, god bless him, was the head of this particular Gestapo. It took him a lot longer to see the light – but once he did, he felt the exact way you do, and he was stinking MAD. He has now become the most Fearless formula feeder of all, ready to go postal on anyone who heaps guilt on someone for any parenting choice. I read him this post and he applauded. You absolutely rock and I just want to say that your kid is very lucky to have the two of you as parents.

You clearly love Jane and it is evident in your numerous posts that you both want the best life, health & happiness for your little monkey.

In my opinion, the boob gestapo is like any other fanatical group: unrepentantly unwilling to concede to whomever diverts from their position, despite just cause and thorough consideration before doing so. I can see it even in the belittling… “I guess under these special circumstances Jane’s choice not to breastfeed makes some sense BUT I would NEVER give up breastfeeding even if I had to endure [insert horror here] and CERTAINLY there must be some other way to treat this issue that suits my position on breastfeeding” posts.

I wish you both continued good humor in the face of endless (mostly) anonymous criticism.

And Jane, BRAVO for being so brave, getting help for your PPD and taking care of yourself so you can parent your monkey!

With great affection for your entire family,
Kate

I wouldn’t post again, especially on a thread that SHOULD have been dead ages ago, BUT I have to refute a couple of things that Ruth said because she probably doesn’t know any better. It kinda blew me away when I learned these things.

Formula is not really as nutritious as Ruth thinks. There are reasons why it should be avoided. When it was created, it was NEVER intended to be used as a substitute for real breastmilk or to provide full nutrition for a baby. It was created for medical emergencies only. For times when say a Mom dies and the baby is isolated and there is no wetnurse available. Back when it was created, this happened all the time. Formula was created to keep an infant alive long enough to get them real breastmilk, either by bringing the baby to another Mom, or by bringing in a wetnurse.
Unfortunately, the companies that took over the manufacture of formula realised that they could increase their profits if they marketed their product as superior to breastmilk and convinced Moms to quit breastfeeding and switch to bottlefeeding formula. Since once you start using formula your brestmilk dries up, Moms were trapped if they made the switch. Talk about a captive market! Profits soared. However, Moms who couldn’t afford the formula or all the required gear would dilute the formula, use unsterile water or in some other way not follow optimal lab procedure and babies started to die. A LOT of babies died. The United Nations got involved and tried to stop the Formula companies from hurting babies with their marketing and the battle has been going ever since. Formula companies have tried constantly to improve their products, but I have even heard from one of their own scientists that they are very aware that they can’t come close to replicating all the health benefits of breastmilk, never mind the benefits of breastfeeding.
The reality is that there are still medical emergencies where formula is necessary. It certainly sounds like that is the case for Jane. I’m sure that she and Tarzan will be very diligent about ensuring that Monkey’s bottles are all made correctly. But in a perfect world, a wetnurse would have been made available to Jane a long time ago. That way she wouldn’t have suffered so much, and Monkey would have received the best nutrition for him. Chances are he’ll be fine. Lots of babies survive formula feeding. The fact that they survive it doesn’t mean that it is desireable or a choice that parents should really make for anything other than very serious reasons. It’s like second hand smoke. Not every kid exposed to second hand smoke will be harmed, but it’s still dangerous.
This is why people feel the need to butt in. Most people have no knowledge of these things so the people who have learned the truth want to share. However it is always worthwhile to remember that you shouldn’t attack the victim. I wish I could speak to all the people who want to support breastfeeding and say “Don’t blame parents for the sins of the Formula industry, don’t blame parents if they don’t breastfeed. Chances are, they REALLY tried but were totally sabotaged by the multi-billion dollar machinery of an industry that REQUIRES the wholesale failure of breastfeeding everywhere in order to succeed and meet their bottom line.”

Parents are NOT the enemy.
Tarzan, Jane, rest assured that you ARE doing the best that you can. You did a risk/benefit analysis and made a rational decision. That is the ESSENCE of good parenting. Not every parent does in fact make the right choices and do the right thing or the best for their child. Mainly when they fail it’s because they go with their gut without questioning. There are loads of bad parents out there. In my experience, the best ones are rational, committed and compassionate. Seems to me like you guys have those qualities, so have at ‘er!!