Six week postpartum appointment and going to a psychiatrist for postpartum depression

Jane, I just wanted to send you a big hug. You are doing so well, and are taking the necessary steps to finding some "normalcy" for yourself. Keep hanging in there and keep following your doctors orders! There will come a time when you can look back on this and know you're a stronger person for having gone through it.

I'm going to read your next post...

Big hugs!

I would get a second opinion on the Abilify. Prozac is wonderful for PPD, PMDD, OCD, Bulimia...etc....and was one of the first of the SSRI's to have been approved for children and pregnant women. Helps with weight loss as well. Some of the new SDRI (Pristiq) are really good (targets Dopamine instead of Seratonin).
...hang in there!
BTW..not a MD....

Just saw your tweets regarding todays appt. I'm sorry it was so exhausting. You will find someone to talk to who is a perfect fit, I just know it!

Big hugs.

I am sorry for what you are going through. I went through with my third child. I felt like an outsider in my own home, with my own child. I was temporarily put on medication to help me get through the depression. It was a difficult few months for me, but especially my older children. It WILL get better, this will pass. After getting through this time in my life, I even started a new career path, of all things, I design 'maternity' clothing! I will pray for you, that this depression leaves as quickly as it came:) God Bless!

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with all this Jane. I hope your appt goes well and you start to feel good and enjoy this time with Monkey. He loves you and know you are there for him and even if you feel bad, he understands.
I'm due this week and thinking a lot lately about PPD. I hope you get the relief you so deserve.

Stay strong, we all know you'll make it through this :)

Hi Jane,

So glad you're getting help! With each day that passes, you are closer to a better future. I am not a doctor (just a lawyer/relationship expert), but I have two common sense points for you:

1) Medications can have unexpected side effects, so it's possible that Lexapro is causing your high blood pressure. Just consider that.

2) When your doctor told you that sex wouldn't hurt after pregnancy, she wasn't speaking for all women. For most women I know, sex hurts post-pregnancy. So don't be surprised if it takes a number of times before it feels right again. Nothing to worry about.

Wishing you all the best,
Laurie

P.S. thanks again for Tarzan's guest post on my blog.

Jane,

Your writing even seems a little happier. I'm glad you are going to the appt today and I wish you luck! I can't wait to read how it went. Your still an inspiration to me because you keep pushing your self through everything. Like I said before PPD is a big thing with my family.... all the women have suffered from it. I just hope I am as stong as you... I hope you feel better!!! Again good luck!

I've just been getting caught up on your blog (babies are so demanding with time! ;p), and I'm thankful that you have such a receptive OB. It will get better, and I am certain a psychiatrist will help, but like all things, it'll take time. You'll get there.
Although it is hard to get dressed and up every morning, someone gave me that tip with my first baby. Dress yourself and baby every day, even if you're just hanging around the house. You will feel better.
Your OB is right that sex isn't necessarily uncomfortable post-baby, but I would echo those people who suggested lots of lube! Sometimes you need a little help to get things going.;)

I hope this week brings brighter days for you.

I understand your pain, my LO is 8 weeks this week and I have had those moments when I was depressed and cried. Every morning though I got up and had a shower or at least cleaned myself up and got dressed-no lounging in PJ's. I ate something every morning and took something out for dinner. I guess keeping busy even with the baby feedings, changings made me take my mind off whatever it was that was bothering me.
I have read alot of books of infant care and I often second guess my own instincts as a mom-what you are going through is totally normal. Every baby is different, only you can determine what is best for your baby. Now that I am back at work things are a little easier, although I hate being away from him all day I know when I get home the time we spend is real quality time. It does get better I promise. If you have anyone who may be able to take the baby for a few hours so you can do "whatever" that helped too just so I had some "me" time. I felt guilty at first but I just needed a little break for a few hours to regroup and take care of myself for a change.

I've simply got to say something about this, since I'm trained some in it & in a Masters program for counseling. As well-meaning as most people are, pleeeeease don't listen to people who say, "I took _____ & this is what it did to ME!" Because honestly, anti-depressants are some of the strangest, most unique medications out there - it is NOT one size fits all and by reading "____ made me sick!" and " ____ made me feel better!" it puts all these ideas/expectations into your head.

Also, anti-depressants can take quite a while before they start to work. I'm talking sometimes over a month. Anyway - the psychiatrist will tell you all this, but just please - be really careful taking advice on medications via the internet (or researching that medication). Just listen to your doctors, read your pamphlets, and pay attention to your body.

Now that I've said all that, it's the hardest thing in the world to hear "be patient," but you need to be. Have you talked to a counselor yet? Counseling is more effective than medication long-term, and often just a few sessions can have a huge impact on Postpartum Depression. Also, some counselors are willing to take you for free if they know your financial situation/emotional situation, etc.

Don't discount counseling for quick symptom relief, either. There are new techniques/therapies out there that can make a difference after the first visit!

Good luck :) Email me if you have any more questions/concerns!

My husband took away my computer and made me go camping this weekend (for my first time) - the nerve ;-) - and I can honestly say I've been thinking/worrying about you guys all weekend. Not being able to see what happened at your post-partum visit was killing me. I'm so glad that you're going to talk to someone tomorrow, and I hope and pray that one day soon this will start to become just a memory.

With my second DS, I had crushing, crippling PPD. From the moment I got home from the hospital until I went to my post-partum visit, I cried. I would wake up in the morning, get a look at the baby or his older brother, and fall apart, thinking that all was futile, that I would fail them, that they would grow to hate me, I would just sob all day until around sunset when I felt so tired I couldn't cry any more. Weeks of this, then 50 mg. of Zoloft a day, and I was better within a week. It was horrible, but is now 4 years in the past and we all go on - happily, most days! For now, just do remember that it's not your fault, and that you'll get past it.

Jane,
You are doing all the right things by communicating. Talking to Tarzan. Telling your doctor how you feel. As long as others know where you are in this, they can do their best to help you. Don't listen to other people's advice on specific medications -- each person's body is different so what works for one may not work for another. I have no idea where you live, but if you'd like to email me offline I'd be happy to know what specialists in PPD are in your area, as well as what support groups exist. There are no doubt moms in your region who have been through what you are going through and who would be happy to hold your hand as you go through this. You will get well. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you WILL.

It sounds like your husband is helping you, and you even got to watch a few movies. That's great, hope it helped you to take your mind off of things. In any case, hopefully, since you stopped the nursing, the hormones will go back to normal, and you might not even have to take the medicine for that long. It's good news that you are seeing a specialist about your problem. Everything is going to be alright, just remember you can do it, and your baby boy needs you! Are you a tough cookie? I think you are. You are being very sincere on your blog, and hopefully the writing will help you to heal as well. By the way, apparently Brook Shields suffered from PPD, and she even wrote a book about her experience, who knows maybe there is a book in your future?
With Best Wishes,
Masha

Jane, it's so inspiring to hear you be so honest. I know you may not feel like you're very inspiring right now, but I think it's really important for people to see the difficulties new mamas face. Throughout all your blogposts, you've proven yourself to be a capable, rational, compassionate person. If something like PPD can strike a new mama like yourself, it really can (and does!) happen to anyone~

I hope you have the energy to keep us updated on how your appointment goes. Be easy on yourself, okay? Sometimes, we can get really caught up in the mentality that if we just tried harder, smiled bigger and put on our "big girl panties" that depression and anxiety would go away. It's just not true. Your body and mind have been through immense changes in the past year, and sorting it all out takes time, patience, and sometimes therapy/medication. It'd be like if someone moved across the world, changed jobs, learned a new language AND was on hormone therapy the entire time. There's no way we'd ever expect a person who went through that to adjust quickly or easily... and there's no way anyone should expect a new mother (especially a FTM) to adjust that fast, either.

You're not incompetent and you're not a bad mother/wife! :) You've got a beautiful baby, a wonderful husband, and you're going to get through this. It may take help from a lot of outside sources, but I'm confident you'll survive. I'm also confident that your current emotional state is not harming Monkey irreparably or somehow ruining his future. Both you and Tarzan are providing as best you can for Monkey, and it's more than good enough. I think sometimes the "good parenting" brigade makes us so afraid that we're wrecking our kids for life that we lose perspective. Monkey is being fed, cuddled, changed, kissed and loved. Monkey is a lucky boy. The fact that you're taking action to ensure that you're happy, healthy and whole is proof that you ARE a good mom and a good wife... and an awesome woman~

*hugs* for you, Jane! Try and get some good sleep, hmmm? :)

That's great that you are going to get the help you need. I wanted to comment about sex too! Even though your dr. said you will have no problems, be warned that it still may not be the same. I have a group of ladies I talk to online and we all delivered around the same time. All of us are having issues with comfort and sex drive. I just wanted to let you know that it may be a problem and it's not just you! ;)

I suffer from depression and I am 17 weeks pregnant. I have been taking lexapro for a year and I thought that I would mention that it does take time to get in your system. Also, the dosage you are on is important too. I started at 10mg and I didn't notice a change in my mood at all. It wasn't until 30mg that I felt beter. Although I feel fine now I'm very scared that I will have PPD after my baby is born. Hang in there Jane! You do have the stregnth to beat this!

Its been a rough few weeks for you and it is incredibly overwhelming. Seeing the therapist is the best thing you can do for yourslef and your wee family. It helps talking to friends as well (in between the therapy sessions). Friends are a huge support for you and you should let them help you. If they are true friends they'll be there for you in the dark times too. A strong shoulder to cry on can be the best therapy ever. Let Tarzan help you too - you don't always have to be the strong one that holds everything together. You'll get through this...one day at a time. Some days will be harder than others and when you look into your wee Monkey's eyes you will gain enough strength to "killa da bull". You are an amazing woman and you're stronger than you think...*huge hugs*

Jane, sending you lots of hugs. I really hope that your upcoming appointment will get you on the right track. Soon you will see, like the rest of us that you are a great Mom.

Almost a year and a half ago I decided to get Mirena. It was mainly to help with my endometriosis, but as a perk is also a fabulous IUD for birth control. I was sick of the pills not helping and if you do not take them at exactly the same time daily you are not guaranteed effectiveness for BC (my brother is a pharmacist and told me that many woman are unaware of this). It was the best decision I ever made. No worries, hardly any monthly bleeding now (save so much money there) and my endometriosis is doing well. I never considered these when my oldest was born because the old IUDs were not too great, but I knew a lot of friends that loved their Mirena and then heard that my OB had it as well. Talk about a selling point. Check out other options and see what you think will work best for you.

I'm sorry the Lexapro isn't helping. I have an anxiety disorder, and the Lexapro has helped me a lot. However, I couldn't tolerate Zoloft. I'm not trying to freak you out...I'm trying to say that you will find the right medicine that helps you. When you are going through it, it feels like an eternity. But, once you start to feel better, it is a wonderful feeling. I have a friend on Zoloft, and it has helped her immensely. I hope you have a good doctor who will help you through the process. Everyone's body/sensitivity is different. In addition to the medicine, ask Tarzan if you can have ten to fifteen minutes a day where you can be in a quiet place (alone from everyone). Focus on your breath (or visualize something pleasing to you like the ocean). Sit quietly and breathe deeply. A book that may help (I know you don't have tons of time to read books right now...The Relaxation Response by Herb Benson.)...Anyway, I wish you the best and hope you feel better soon.

Jane you're doing so well!

I had a friend who fell pregnant at 19 and her and her (now husband) went through with the pregnancy without the support of family and a lot of friends because they were shunned for having a child out of wedlock.

This girl had PPD quite badly, but didn't feel that she could open up to her partner (who isn't all that intuitive) and definitely felt she couldn't speak to her dr about it... after me sitting with her for several hours telling her that this depression was getting worse and that she needed to o something if not for herself but for her little munchkin, she finally worked up the courage to go by herself (she refused my offers to go with her as she was so embarrassed) and was put on medication.

She is such a great mum, just like you Jane, and I know that once you come out of this thick foggy depression, you are going to be an even greater mum.

Keep smiling even when you feel like the world is nothing but blinded by darkness.

Hi Jane, I am so proud of you I do not think I could be as honest as you have been.... here in Sydney Australia.. we have what is called the home midwife program its available to anyone who have there baby in a hospital .. they come out and visit you after baby is born several times in the first week to make sure u and the baby are ok and to discuss any issues this was a huge help to me did you have any kind of support like that.

I am glad u r speaking to a professional as your online friends can make all the suggestions in the world and tell u it takes time etc but some times we need the help of a professional who specializes in PPD or what ever the issue it may be i know that councilors have helped me greatly in the past... I was sexually abused as a child and had a pretty bad childhood with a mother who had a bad drinking problem and it was the counciling that got me through my darkest days not the medication. I hope you feel better soon thinking of you monkey and tarzan all the way from Sydney Australia

Just sending some hugs your way!!!! You can make it through this weekend. One minute at a time is all it takes. (((Hugs)))

hugs!

Keep the faith, medicine can be a game of trial and error but don't give up if one doesn't work! It's not you, it's your bodies chemistry. I hope the pyschiatrist is able to help you. You might find counseling helpful, I find for myself it's a combination of medication and therapy that helps me deal with my depression.

I totally get what you mean about not wanting to get dressed much less go out, when i'm depressed I ALWAYS feel that way, then after i've gone out I most always feel better, refreshed, etc.

Have you looked into moms groups in the areas? MOPs is starting up again this month, it runs during the school year and was a lifesaver for me with both my kids, with the first because i'd just moved to a new area, and with the 2nd because I was very depressed and lonely after he was born. It's for mothers of preschoolers from newborn up to prek, it's just regular moms who meet generally twice a month and sit together and hang out. They seat you in a group where you're with the same 4-8 women each time so you can get to know new people and form friendships, everybody takes turns bringing snacks so you sit down grab a plate hang out, sometimes do a craft and have a speaker and discussion pertaining to parenting. They're usually held at churchs but it's non denominational and religion is definitely not a focus of the discussions so it's not for christian women only. In fact i've had jewish and muslim women in my groups before and they never felt left out. If you can find one in your area i'd highly suggest just trying it out and seeing if it's something you might enjoy. In fact I love mops so much I was totally bummed when my youngest went into kindergarden and I had to stop going :P Now that i'm pregnant again i'm looking forward to the group again :)

As for post baby sex one word LUBE and lots of it. Also, if monkey sleeps in your room you might wanna try christening other rooms/surfaces in your house or move monkey to his playpen when you guys try to get busy again, nothing kills the mood more than another set of ears/eyes even if they are too little to know what's going on :P

Yay! Progress! I'm so very happy that your appointment went well. I hope that things go well on Monday and the new medicine works for you. I'm sending gobs of happy thoughts your way. I think lots of people are so you should be able to fly soon with all these happy thoughts! ;) Good luck and thank you for keeping us posted. Enjoy your weekend, take lots of time for you, and make sure you get an extra hug or ten from Monkey and Tarzan!

Hey, I just happened to stumbled across your page on Twitter and decided to check out your blog. I can totally relate to what you are going through right now. If you ever get a chance, check out: http://thismomsmission.blogspot.com/2009/08/no-fai...

The very first weekend I brought my son home from the hospital, after an incredibly rough pregnancy (16 weeks of bedrest, 50 days in the hospital, steroids, 29 injections per week, etc.), I had a severe case of the baby blues. I cried the entire weekend. At one point I wanted to take him back to the hospital so they could find a better mother for him and then run out in the middle of traffic. That's how bad it was. I too went days without showering, didn't feel like I was doing anything right, and beat myself up badly over the fact that I couldn't produce enough milk to breastfeed him. I was breastfed until I was 18 months so it was highly important to me to be able to at least do a year for my own child, but I couldn't so I felt inadequate. It took me about a month to really feel like a mom and I loved the feeling. It was like a high I never wanted to come off from, but then sometime down the line, something changed.

I didn't mention that I was--am a single mother with little to no support. Things started getting rough. Not even two months after finally getting a new job, I broke my ankle and was let go. I lived with my father at the time and he was in the hospital, dying, so that left me in the house alone, in a cast from my toes up to my knee, with an infant to raise. I was literally trapped in my own house because I couldn't leave out of the house with my son. How could I carry him and walk on crutches? Being stuck in the house, during the winter time when I already suffered from S.A.D only made things worse. My hair started to fall out, I would lose patience with my son easily and will admit I have snapped at him at times, I didn't like doing things I used to anymore, etc. Also, as exhausted as I was from taking care of my son all day long by myself, I couldn't sleep at night. My brain just wouldn't shut down enough for me to relax enough to go to sleep. I had too much anxiety, which I kind of blame on the Reglan I took for awhile that was supposed to help bring in my milk, but didn't.

I went to the doctor and told him about this and he prescribed me some Xanax and...I can't remember the name of the anti-depressant. He also wanted me to see a psychiatrist to make sure I was on the best combo of meds and to help with other issues. I was reluctant at first because I had the mindset only crazy people sought their help. I wasn't crazy, just HIGHLY depressed!!! Seeing her was the best thing that happened to me though, especially since a week after our initial appointment, my father died. I had a full blowm depression at that point. I went from 218 to 184 in a very short period of time. To try to wrap this up because I know I'm rambling...

We moved to another state which means I lost my therapist. Before we left, the doctor gave me Lexapro. The Xanax was amazing, but you can build a dependence on it so he said he'd rather me take the Lexapro if I felt like I needed something. I thought I had a grip on things once we moved, but I didn't so I began to take the anti-depressants everyday. After a few days of it, I found myself having a much harder time getting out of bed every morning. All day long I was constantly tired--well, I'm always tired but even moreso then. I didn't have any energy whatsoever and just felt worse physcially, even though I was sort of feeling better emotionally. Father's Day was coming up and I knew it would be super hard on me since my dad just passed months ago, but I couldn't take it anymore. I don't know if you are spiritual/religious and I don't mean to offend if you aren't, but that Friday of Father's Day Weekend, I took my bottle of Lexapro, flushed it down the toilet and said that I was going to get through this weekend and beat this depression without those meds. It was going to be up to me, God, and the people I have in the front row of my life (another blog post of mine).

That was in June, it's now August. Sure enough I still have my days when I get down in the dumps, but I'm not the same person I was months ago. I went from being 75% dependent to 100% independent overnight and it hasn't been easy. I miss my dad a lot and it's hard being away from all of my friends & family and raising my son on my own. People say it's get better with time, but hell, my son is 14 months old now and I still struggle. I just knew by this point my patience would be better and I'd have this whole mom thing down, but that's not the case at all. I don't ever want to have any more children and I will keep getting this Implanon to make sure of that. The point of all this was to say that I can relate and it is something YOU CAN BEAT. I'm not saying everyone should be extreme like I was and flush their pills down the toilet, but I made the decision that I wasn't going to let my depression take over the rest of my life or be dependent on those pills. I deserved better and so did my son.

If you have a support system, USE IT! You have a husband, which means you have a partner to help you with things, stop doing everything in the house by yourself all the time. I don't care what he does, being a full time mother is harder than any job you can go out and get. You work just as hard as he does everyday. I know things aren't going to be 50/50 in the real world, but men tend to get spoiled if you are the ones to constantly pick up the slack and do everything. Learn the importance of "me time". I didn't until my son was about 11 months old and things have changed so much since then. We finally have a routine and though I don't get to go out, just being able to blog in peace, do a pedicure or even use the bathroom without someone climbing all over me gives me some peace of mind!

I know you will beat this. One problem I'm currently working on is not being so hard on myself. I may not be the perfect mother or a supermom compared to most, but everyday I know I give my son my all and I'm the best darn mother to him that I can be, and that's all that matters at the end of the day. Plus he is a baby--well toddler, how does he know when I do something "wrong" parenting wise? Everyday is a learning process and with being a mother, you never stop learning. I hope this helped and I wish you the best. I will continue to check on your progress :)

Thank you for posting an update, I was worrying about you today.

Hi Jane! I am 12 weeks PP, and the past couple of weeks, I have started to notice signs of PPD in myself. I know how hard it is to just get out of bed, and how frustrating it is putting on a happy face but inside feeling completely hopeless. I think someone mentioned the analogy of it being groundhog day over and over....that is exactly what I am going through. My life just feels so blah and monatonous.

I went on Zoloft a couple days ago. Today, I actually felt better (probably placebo effect more than anything!). I also got dressed and got out of the house with the babies to run some errands and then just play outside. Your nurse is probably on to something....you might find going outside for a walk with your stroller might be uplifting. While I still felt down today, I had brief moments where I felt like myself again.

I am glad to hear that you have such supportive OB staff, and that they are helping you get past this tough time. I hope things start looking up for you soon!

I am eager to hear about your psychiatrist appointment. My doctor recommended that I join a PPD support group, but I haven't. Though I am doing much better, I am not one to share my feelings with a group of strangers (which is weird because I post all this stuff on my blog for the world to read!) I hope that talking to someone and new meds will help you feel better. You are a great mom and a great wife, Jane--you can get through this!

A note about after-baby hanky-panky: My husband and I FINALLY did the deed after 4 months postpartum a week or so ago and it felt a tiny bit different, but not in a way I expected--still very good though!

I hope the psychiatrist helps! I remember saying that exact thing. "I don't know why I ever wanted to be a mom. I'm not cut out for this. I'm not mom material.".

Those emotions went away and I was able to start really enjoying my baby. I fell in love with being a mom and I know I'm good at it. I can't wait for you to feel the same way.

I had no PPD at all with my second child, btw.

How does your OB know when your period is going to start again?

Hi Jane. I started following you only about three months ago. I'm only 4 months pregnant, but I have to tell you- you are, believe it or not, completely inspiring. To you, the word "inspiring" probably doesn't seem like the right way to describe how your feeling these days, but that's ok. You truly are a trooper, and even though I don't know you, I am proud of your fight. You are doing all the right things to take care of Monkey and yourself. Don't ever doubt your decisions! Know that, and if you can, take a little bit of comfort in it.

Hi Jane... I wanted to tell you how sorry I am that you are going through this right now. I had my daughter the day after you had Monkey and PPD was something I was very afraid of. I had my first go around with it when I had my first son. It was very hard and I didn't get help until he was 9 months old. I then got on Zoloft and felt better but VERY tired almost a week later. I know people keep telling you it will get better and I also know you are probably sick of hearing it because nothing seems to be working right now... but it will get better. You are probably just a few days away from peace. It does get better. Lean on Tarzan. He needs to know that you need him. I am sure he desires nothing more than you to be happy again and will do anything to get that back.

I did want to add something that I have not seen anyone else mention yet. Tarzan and you have both said you wanted more children. I am sure this may have added a little fear to that but I wanted to let you know that this should not happen with each of your children/pregnancies. The daughter I just had was my 5th. I am more happy now than I ever have been in my life. Though your risks of this re-occuring are higher it does not mean it will always be like this. I had issues with my first and third. With my third it was so minimal if I had not already been through it before I would have not thought anything about it. Now I look for it in everyone. Mostly because I would never want anyone else to feel the way I felt. It took a while to get back to 100%. It took even longer to realize I was just as bonded with my son as any other person was to their child.

Please know that your Monkey loves you (much more than anyone else). He is your baby. You and you alone carried him and gave him life. He needs you. He needs you to be happy and healthy. Please get better and know that there are thousands of us out there praying for and thinking about you (and you new family). (And waiting to hear that you are expecting a baby banana!!)

It is a pleasure to read a blog with such honesty. While I am sure it is difficult at times to write please know that you are making a difference, and I am positive helping others feel less alone in the process. I wish you all the best on your journey...

sending you big hugs. i am rooting for you every day.
ditto on the zoloft - i took it for 10 days/month (before pregnancy and now baby) to help with endometriosis pain and minor PMDD. it is a wonderful gentle miracle pill that you can go off and on without major side effects.
you are helping so many women by sharing your journey. thank you!!

Happy to read your update, hopeful that you can enjoy the weekend and Monday sheds some light...will be tuning in then.

Really glad you're going to be going to see someone. It's good your OB recognized that she was out of her depth. I hope the therapist is a good match for you & you get the help you need.

Great to read that the appointment went well physically. I am glad that you will be speaking with someone. It will feel good to release some of that. I'll be interested to know what the Psy. will change you over to medication-wise. Best of luck with the visit, enjoy your weekend and we'll all stay tuned.

just another suggestion although I know that most things won't be very helpful until you get an appropriate prescription.
What helped me A LOT was getting a schedule going. What I mean by this is something that you do everday. Usually these things will be planned for after morning nap until afternoon nap. So, we are talking a short booking. Look to community groups for moms and babies where you can sit around with other mommies and babies for an hour or so. It passes the time, lets you connect with other 'shock and awe' survivors. Usually there is cup of coffee or a muffin for you. After that, it's home for nap, then dinner then nighttime routine. It's all about getting through the days now. Have treats to look forward to at night. For me, at this time ( five weeks), it was usually just a tv episode I could watch while nursing/ feeding. Oh and get a headset. It is so nice to tune everyone out while watching a show.
kbye.
good luck.

Im 2.5 weeks post delivery of my 2nd child and today has been THEE hardest day since delivery. Ive cried so much my face is swollen and my eyes are almost shut today. My dr prescribed lexapro for me last year after I miscarried, but i never felt right taking it. You're during the right thing by going to see someone. Sometimes just talking through your emotions helps so much. Bless your heart and know that you're being prayed for and thought of. Motherhood is certainly not easy, but I can guarantee you...you're doing a great job simply because you love your baby. Hoping things get better soon!

I am SO glad that you are getting the help you need. Things will get better. I promise!

Ugh on the Lexapro. That was the first medicine my doc had me on and it made me really horribly sick to my stomach and high as a kite to boot. I literally couldn't function on it. She switched me to Zoloft and I tell you it's a world of difference! I hope your new medicine works better for you.

And as far as BC, if you're worried about missing pills, have you considered an IUD? I got the Mirena and so far I love it. Plus it doesn't mess with your hormones as much because it only works on the lining of the uterus instead of getting into your blood stream like the pill does. The best part: it's effective immediately... no waiting for it to be in your system for a month! And it's good for five years... way cheaper (for me at any rate) to pay an office copay once than pay for a prescription monthly.