Yesterday was the day I was dreading, but I was also hopeful at the same time. It was the meeting of a psychiatrist to help with my postpartum depression and I really had mixed emotions.
On one hand I knew that I had to get help so that I could be a better mom to little Monkey, a better wife to my husband, and be able to get through the day without beating myself up, which I’ve gotten pretty good at lately.
But on the other hand, a way more selfish hand, there’s something a little unnatural (at least for me) about talking to a complete stranger about your deepest, darkest moments. I don’t like how it makes me a certain amount of vulnerable either. But I focused on my son and the benefits and made my drive to the psychiatrist’s office.
And no joke, the second I walked in I wanted to turn back around and leave.
Let me paint the picture of the waiting room for you: Pale baby blue walls, 30-40 chairs thisclose to each other, and a very still quiet. The window to the receptionist was closed and there was a sign on it that said “Do not open”. On the wall in frames there were signs that said, “After signing in, take a number”. I thought this was weird and when I arrived I was the first person and no one told me to take a number. I couldn’t even see where the number was that I was supposed to take.
I arrived at noon and my appointment was at 12:30pm. I filled out tons of paperwork and wondered why they were asking such vague questions. There was nothing about pregnancy or postpartum depression and I began to wonder if this psychiatrist was the right one for me.
Next entered in a man who seemed a bit “off”. He started to talk to me, but I grabbed my phone and began twittering. The nurse called him in really quickly and I was left alone in this big, uncomfortably cold waiting room. I still wanted to leave. I just didn’t feel good about being there and there is something to be said about gut instinct. I should learn to definitely listen and follow it.
After waiting for 45 minutes the receptionist called me into room number 5. The room had a desk with no papers on it and two chairs. Definitely not what I would call inviting at all. The receptionist, and I repeat, receptionist, started asking me questions. Some personal about any sexual, emotional, or physical abuse (no) to what my husband’s name, age, how much caffeine he drank.
At this point I thought it was ridiculous that she would be asking such questions about my husband. He wasn’t there and honestly I can’t see why it would matter if he drinks coffee in the mornings. I mean, really.
So I asked with quite a big attitude, “I don’t understand the importance of the questions you are asking. Why does it matter how old my husband is, what his name is, what his age is, how much coffee he drinks, etc?” The receptionist just answered, “The Dr. likes to know.”
Um, okay.
Then she told me that on one of the papers I filled out, I didn’t circle the number, only wrote it in the column on the right. She asked if I would circle the numbers. I told her no because I wrote the numbers in the column and added up my score. She said, “Well, hopefully the Dr. will be okay with this. If not, you’ll have to circle them.”
I said, “Right.”
Next page of paper was all about sex. ”When was the last time you had sex?”, she asked. I told her that it was the day before I had my son – July 22nd. She made a face and was like “Wow, that’s been a while. Do you feel like your sex drive has diminished?”
I wanted to say, “No moron. Again I’m here for postpartum depression, which means that I just had a baby, which means that I couldn’t have sex until I was cleared by my OB, which again, was last Friday.” It was completely pointless and she kept on asking questions like this.
I kept on telling her the same damn thing, “I just had a baby so…”
About 30 minutes had gone by and it was now 1:15pm. The receptionist said that the Dr. should arrive around 2pm and that I was to meet with the male nurse next and then I was free to leave for lunch as long as I was back by 4:30pm.
Um, excuse me? I told her that my appointment was at 12:30pm and that the Dr. was already late since it was 1:15pm. She asked, “Didn’t anyone tell you that she arrives at 2pm?” No they didn’t tell me that because if they did I would certainly have shown up at 2pm instead of 12:30pm.
I waited for about 10 minutes and then the male nurse came to take me to his office for more questioning. I was totally annoyed and pissed off, thinking that I should just walk or run out of the door FAST. But now I was trapped in room number 3 talking to the male nurse.
He asked me to tell him my name, age, why I was there, and where we were. I immediately laughed and asked why he wanted to know this; after all, he was looking right at my file that had this information. I told him my name, age, why I was there (postpartum depression), and where we were (professional building). He told me to try again on that last question. OK, um, doctor’s office? BINGO.
So weird.
Then he asked me what year we were in. I felt like I was a patient that had just had a stroke or passed out. I was not seeing a psychiatrist for anything other than postpartum depression, so wouldn’t you have thought that they could have skipped over their “normal” protocol?
He told me, “I’m going to tell you three words that I want you to remember and I’ll ask you to repeat them to me later on. They are: flower, penny, tiger. Can you repeat them back to me?”
“Flower, penny, tiger” and I added a little eye roll too.
Next he asked who the President of the USA was and I told him “Obama”. Then he asked for the Vice President. Oh shit, I couldn’t remember and I figured this wasn’t going to look good for Mr. nurse. I started giggling because I find it SO funny that I couldn’t remember this. He told me, “take your time”. The only name that was popping into my head was Al Gore and I knew that wasn’t right.
Finally I said, “Joe Biden”. Ding, ding, ding. Correct answer.
Then he said, “Who is the mayor of Houston?” ”Bill White?”
“Who is the governor of Texas?” ”Rick Perry?” Then I said, “Are they still the mayor and governor? I’m not really into politics.”
He said, “Why are you second guessing yourself? Yes, they are.”
Then he asked me to interpret the glass house proverb. Right. I told him that I didn’t have a clue what he was talking about and then I asked if I should know this. He said that mainly older people knew this. Um, okay.
When this mess was over he told me that the Dr. should arrive around 2:30pm. I told him that I was told 2pm earlier and he said that she tends to run late. Oh, wonderful.
He told me that I could wait around in the waiting room or go to lunch and come back before 4:30pm. I told him that I didn’t understand; my appointment was for 12:30pm. He said that since I was a new patient I had to come at that time to meet with everyone and go over paperwork, but that the Dr. usually arrives at 2:30pm and sees patients in the timeframe of that and 4:30pm.
I told him that I would wait in the waiting room. I went into the waiting room and it was packed. I mean packed as in every seat was taken. I sat down in the only seat available and thought that I was in hell.
No joke, there was someone pacing in the room screaming, a guy who looked like he could be a serial killer listening to ghetto rap so loudly that we could all hear, a mom who was talking on her cell phone and paying no attention to her kids, and a couple of women that looked completely out of it.
I did not belong here at all. These people clearly had larger mental issues than postpartum depression.
I texted Tarzan and told him and he said, “Leave and come home. We’ll figure something else out.”
As much as I wanted to leave, I felt like I should stay for this trainwreck to see what would happen next. After all, it was now about 3pm and I figured that my name would be called at any moment.
Around 3:30pm the male nurse called my name and took me to room number 1. He told me to just relax and the Dr. would be in soon. This room was just as “cold” as room number 5. A built-in cabinet with nothing on the shelves was on the wall and there were two chairs: one for me and one for the Dr.
There was also a dead spider on the window sill which added a nice touch to the already dreary place.
The Dr. came in and looked like she belonged somewhere else, definitely not in charge of these patients. She spent five, maybe ten minutes with me and that was it. While flipping through the paperwork, she said, “You wanted to know why we asked questions about your husband? We just like to know.”
The damn receptionist had made a note in my file that I asked why she was asking me those questions!
She asked if I had a support system in place and I told her that I had my husband and that my mom stayed with us for a little while in the beginning. She asked if my mom could come back and I told her maybe.
Then she told me that she was going to increase the Lexapro to 20mg from 10mg and add Abilify to the mix at nighttime.
Now I’m not a Dr. and haven’t spent any time in medical school, but there was something about the way that she was so quick to up my medicine and even throw in a new one that didn’t seem right to me. My purpose in going to see a psychiatrist was not to be medicated; it’s to get help for postpartum depression.
She told me that she wanted to see me again in one week to see how I was doing. I asked her if I would have a set appointment or if I should expect 30 people in the waiting room. She told me that they don’t operate with a set time, but a timeframe between 2pm and 4:30pm.
Basically it’s first come, first serve. She said I sign in, take a number, and wait to be called. It took all I had not to laugh in her face.
I started to ask her a question and she walked out of the room, told me to relax (yeah, right), and that the receptionist would be back with information and samples. I waited for ten minutes and then someone came in with a ton of samples and some information about Abilify and when to take the meds.
I went to the counter and was told that the Dr. wanted to see me again in one week. I made the appointment, but knew damn well that I would not be going back.
I couldn’t get out of that office fast enough. I just about ran to my car and wanted to cry.
Why is it so hard to find good help for postpartum depression? Why did I just waste 4 hours of my time at that psychiatrist’s office and all she wanted to do was medicate me? She didn’t even ask me questions about how I was feeling. The day was such a let-down.
While I was there Tarzan was busy at home calling other psychiatrists to see if I could get in to see them. Everyone has a wait of two-three weeks. Then he saw a name of someone who specializes in postpartum depression, a psychotherapist, and he knew her because he had done some work with her husband. And she lives in the next neighborhood over. She actually trains psychiatrists and OB/GYNs on postpartum depression and has researched for many, many years.
He called her and she moved her schedule around to see us at 5pm. I got home at 4:55pm and we hopped in the car, leaving Monkey with the in-laws.
We went upstairs at the therapist’s house and started talking. It was wonderful, right from the very beginning of this meeting.
(I’ll post a different blog post on what happened because it’s long.)
You might also want to read:
- Six week postpartum appointment and going to a psychiatrist for postpartum depression
- Being real with therapy, postpartum depression, family, & friends
- Postpartum depression therapy appointment: Success!
- Therapist appointment, torticollis, and some postpartum depression talk too
- Past memory of postpartum depression, breastfeeding Monkey, & my dog
= a post from Mommy Jane 
= a post from Daddy Tarzan
{ 2 trackbacks }
{ 79 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow! that is total crap and why the medical system isn’t just broken, it’s friggin in nuclear meltdown. I am so sorry you had such a crappy experience with the first doctor who clearly has forgotten her hipocratic oath.
Can’t wait to read about the new doc.
I am so sorry that you had to go through this appointment and that it was so crap. I hope though that the next meeting was better, it does seem as if it was. Hugs to you all.
Oh my. That’s just about the most horrifying psych doctor experience I can imagine…(and I’ve been in some strange situations). I’m so sorry you had to go through that. But, at least, it sounds like you’re getting the help you need now! Here’s hoping things get better soon.
I am so so sorry you had to go through that! I wish I could give you a hug, but obviously that won’t work. Your instincts were right and that doctor sucked. I’ve been to a therapist and a psychiatrist and I’ve never experienced anything like that. I’m so glad that you found someone else so soon. I know how hard it is to go a few days or even a few hours when you know you need help right now. I hope this new doc really works for you!
All I have to say is Oh My Lord! I thought stuff like this only happens in movies! I feel sorry for those other people who think they are going to be treated by this place. And why did your OB refer you to this lady? I can’t wait to hear about your positive experience.
That office should be ashamed. You don’t need a psychiatrist but a good talk therapist. I’m rooting for you!
hi! i just started reading your blog when you posted about postpartum depression. even though i haven’t experienced it, i can only imagine how difficult it must be, which is why i’m so happy (for you and your family) that you didn’t go along with this whole messed-up, drug-oriented system and looked elsewhere for help. you’re very lucky to have such support from your husband (and blog-readers)! and you have your little monkey! i hope things get better soon.
Just wanted to add a huge congrats for all of your efforts to get help for PPD. Your courage is amazing- seriously.
Hey Jane,
That sounds like it was a real clusterf**k! Dr Lucy Puryear is in your city, I think – if she’s not who you’re going to try next, you might want to try her.. I reviewed her book on my site:
http://breederbrain.blogspot.com/2009/05/book-review-understanding-your-moods.html
Good luck and take it easy on yourself!
CJ
hey! yes. that certainly sounds bad. It’s even worse that I had expected. I’ve had some similar experiences thus my warning before you headed in.
Here is another option.
http://postpartum.net/
not sure if you’ve tried it yet or not. I haven’t quite looked through but there should be links to local groups.
I participted in a local group in my area and it was far far far more effective than any psychiatrist.
You are right! This VERY VERY VERY COMMON issue is not addressed properly by any of our medical systems.
Good luck.
I suffered horribly from ppd. This kind of appt would have added to it for sure. I was able to get treatment thru my OB. I am so glad I did.
I have seen psychiatrist but none had such bizarre questionnaires and office hours as what you have described.
I am sorry you had to go through this!
OKAY…agreed waste of your time. It sounds like you were at a government funded psychiatrist office (although I am sure you were not, but sounds like that is what it was). So first I think it is important to let you know that a Psychiatrist is only meant to prescribe medication. However, everyone I have gone to for Depression and OCD spends at least 30 minutes with you to know what to prescribe you. A psychologist is someone you talk to about your problems. I think you should see both. I will email you the name of the group I used for many year and was very happy with. I hope you don’t have to use them becasue this other lady you saw yesterday was better. But just in case, you will have it. I am sorry you had to go through all of that and I really hope this other lady you spoke to is working better for you.
Best Wishes!
That’s actually a pretty standard psychiatric appointment. Psychiatrists are medical doctors, specializing in psychology – they are brief, just like most regular doctors. They are not counselors – they do not try to counsel you – yet they have a wealth of knowledge in the area of psychology.
Also – try not to judge other people at psychiatry offices – it’s not really fair. You don’t know why they’re there, either, and mental health has a negative enough stigma, without anyone adding to it. I know it’s hard & sometimes scary to see people hurting, but most of the time, it’s not their fault they even have the problems they do.
Psychiatrists are well-trained and they can be cold & stand-offish. Try talking to a counselor if you’re looking for something else.
Also – all of those questions they asked you are standard. They were doing something called “reality testing” & a mental status exam. They ask everyone all the same questions to make sure there are no psychotic symptoms. It’s nothing personal & they see people with your problem (and hundreds of others) for 8 hours a day. It’s a medical procedure – the same way a general physician may ask you how often you exercise or if you have trouble sleeping at night.
There are nicer doctors out there, though, and places that won’t make you wait as long. Don’t feel embarrassed or weird about talking to these people – they’ve seriously heard it all – from hallucinations, to suicidal thoughts, to the person thinking they’re God – give them a little more credit, they might be able to help you!
For now, I’d probably search for a new doctor. Abilify is usually added when an anti-depressant isn’t working well, and Lexapro is pretty standard, but I think you may benefit more from a counselor – they’re more empathetic and follow the Wellness Model instead of the Medical Model.
Good luck!
Whoa–I am so, so sorry that your appointment was such a let down. Does the hospital where you delivered Monkey have a postpartum support group? My doctor recommended I go to one of those in town.
Wow…what a day! I was uncomfortable just reading your story. In the past I have visited a couple of psychologists once or two times and have had mixed results. One woman I have seen twice is amazing. I walked out and felt 10 times better. She was a little pricey but it was cozy, inviting and she was so personable. The last time I went somewhere was for anxiety I have been having since I have been pregnant. It has been debilitating. I walked into a similar situation however did not get the “cold” treatment with so many random questions. They knew why I was there and asked appropriate questions. However, she jumped to the meds… ones that could effect my baby. I said no and left to make another appointment with the DR I had experience with.
I am glad you didn’t give up on it and hope this new DR will be the one for you. It has nothing to do with the so called “messed-up” healthcare system as someone stated. Obviously some of the the 30 other people in the room were where they wanted to be. It is just not right for you. =)
I can’t believe what a waste of time that was for you. How can she call herself a psychiatrist asking dumb questions that have nothing to do with PPD and then “here take these meds, you’ll feel better”. So sorry you had to go through that hell.
I sure hope this new Dr. helps you and you got something out of your first meeting with her. good luck to you Jane.
I agree with Kay, and I just wanted to add that postpartum depression can turn into postpartum psychosis in the space of hours if it is not being properly treated (which would be a concern in your situation as you were being referred to office because the initial medication wasn’t working for you). Postpartum psychosis is much more varied than most people think of (not everyone who has it harms their child or even WANTS to) but it does entail a break from reality, so the questions you found so silly were meant to ensure that you hadn’t slipped into a dangerous fantasy world since you developed postpartum depression.
The questions about your husband were probably a routine screen for abuse. The reaction and demeanor of the patient when they answer can provide great insight into their relationship with their partner and provide indications as to whether a more thorough screening is needed. Before you get offended on Tarzan’s behalf, remember that MANY abusive relationships do not become violent until pregnancy or the postpartum period, and that your answers obviously didn’t trigger the red flags for further screening. (People with mental health issues are also prime targets for domestic abuse, so are at a higher risk of being abused. You’d be amazed how many people believe that someone ‘deserves’ to be hit ‘because they are crazy’.)
I’m saddened that you were so judgmental of the other people waiting in the office. Their symptoms may be different than your own, but you know first hand the shame and sense of failure that a mental illness carries with it. They can’t help how their illness manifests any more than you can ’snap out of it’ or ‘just cheer up’ and just by virtue of them being in the office, you know that they are attempting to overcome their illnesses as well. They deserve your sympathy and compassion, not further judgement and fear in a location that should be a source of hope for them.
I’m SO glad that you found a doctor that is a better fit for your needs, though. I hope you make a quick recovery and are soon able to enjoy your life with your little monkey and your husband.
Thank goodness you found someone sane. I’ve been following you for a while and getting more angry at the lack of support for all mothers after giving birth, let alone those in real need. I was almost getting frightenened myself listening to your description of that psychiatrist and the office. Sounds like a recipe for depression all on it’s own. I really hope that you are doing a little better.
I disagree with Kay. That is not the standard psych interview. I have been seeing psychiatrists since 1989 to manage chronic depression and have never encountered such a fiasco as Jane describes. There may be a need to screen for abuse and psychosis, yes. But not by the receptionist! And I have never heard of the “take a number” approach! Docs are often late but never this “sometime between 2 and 4:30″ That is utter BS.
I am so sorry you went through this and got such a bad first experience with the psych industry . There are good doctors out there. Some just prescribe and some also do counseling. But even the ones who just prescribe will spend time with you personally before whipping out the prescription pads and adding on new drugs.
I’m glad you did find a counselor and hope it helps. But if you still need meds, and from your posts I think you do, please try another doctor. I sent you my doc’s name on twitter. Here it is again. I have no idea what his schedule is, but his office is much better than what you saw today,
Dr. Richard Pesikoff
(713) 795-5424
I was met with the exact same kind of enviroment when I first went to the dr for my PPD, I left that appointment feeling even worse then before.
I am glad you found another doctor right away. It is amazing how having the right doctor can make the world of difference.
I look forward to hearing about your new doctor
Excuse me while I pick my mouth up off my floor! (TechyDad just helped me with that) Holy cow Batman, that is the most ridiculous excuse for a medical professional I have ever heard of. This would make for an interesting television show – the antics of the office, not your experience. Oy! Of course, my reply to the male nurse about where you were would have been HELL. So sorry you had to experience that. I truly hope that you contact your OB’s office to let them know about this so no other mother has to go through this. Glad that Tarzan recalled his connection with the new person you are seeing and got you in quick. Therapists are often more helpful because you can really talk with them. Thank goodness you will not have to go back to the Drive-Thru mentality office again.
Jane,
I would be very cautious about taking the Abilify. I see that it has been approved for use as an adjunct med for depression. Its original FDA approval was for schizophrenia which is what I saw it used for back during my psyc rotation in nursing school. I would say use common sense and educate yourself about taking this med which certainly sounded to be hastily prescribed.
wow! that seems like an awfully terrible experience, especially for someone who’s not exactly feeling at the top of their game. now i am no professional, but i did take a few counseling classes in college and i have experienced clinical depression. medicine DOES work, however, it usually works best in conjunction with effective therapy. the problem with the health care system is that it doesnt take into consideration that people, especially women need to feel comfortable with their therapy. what i have learned from my own experience is that it was a wonderful feeling to talk to someone who understands my point of view but was completely objective. she had NO opinion. she didnt shrink my brain or fill my head with wild ideas. she asked me what i felt and how i deal with things. then we TOGETHER decided on a treatment plan. which amazingly WORKED! so i hope that your new therapist will help you help yourself. it will not only make you feel better, but it will also make you feel more empowered to be the best Mommy and wife that you can be.
OMG!!! I could not wait to get home and read your blog after getting your twitter message. After reading this I really couldn’t beleive this happened to you. That is something that you would watch in a movie or read in a book. How is a 15 minute meeting with a doctor going to help you? That is what is wrong with the medical field they are too busy to stop and listen to the problem they just want to put you on drugs. I went to my primary care doctor and was having a bad day the next thing I know I had a prescription for depression. I was sitting there trying to figure out when was I depressed. I am glad to hear that you are taking your illness into your own hands…as Dr. Oz would say you have to be your own medical advocate. Don’t give up until it feels right for you. You hit the nail on the head there is something about gut instincts…Listen to your gut it won’t steer you wrong (unless it’s toward desserts) Lol. Take care and keep up your brave journey.
Oh my. That is the most shocking psych experience that I have ever read or heard about. I am so so sorry that this was so awful for you. I’m so glad that the new therapist is much better. It is so important that you regularly talk about your feelings with someone who is trained to help you work through them. When I was suffering with depression, I found the therapy sessions more helpful than the meds (although the meds did help a lot). I hope you are able to continue seeing her regularly and that you start to feel better soon! Hang in there! I’m sending lots of hugs, prayers, and positive vibes your way!
I’m glad you’re looking into seeing another doctor. It sounds like one major upset after another, and although I think the questions and time with the pyschiatrist sounds pretty normal from what i’ve experienced over the last 10 years dealing with bipolar disorder I think the office set up is totally f’d up. The receptionist might have additional training in order to do the initial intake but this lady sounds like she was just rude and condescending. The questions the male nurse asked you sound typical of a psychiatrists office, one of my major symptoms of depression is memory loss/difficulties, so asking you to remember the day, month, president, and even what was said earlier in the appointment might have been asked to gauge that, but he seems a little bit attitudey as well. The doctor well she sounds like she’s only a med shrink not a therapy one so it’s not surprising she’d just adjust your meds based off your symptoms and send you on your way.
Psychiatrists vary, some do medications only, some do therapy alongside medications, I think you’d benefit more from a psychiatrist that does both, or from seeing a psychiatrist AND a therapist. I myself find both therapy and medication helpful for managing my symptoms.
As for your medications it sounds like you were on the starting dose, if it wasn’t helpful i’m not surprised they upped it. If one medication is helping a little but not completely with the symptoms doctors will tend to add in another one to try to manage all of your symptoms completely. It could be the doctor could hear that you need relief and you need it fast and was hoping to speed up the process instead of just upping your dose and having you come back a week or two later to see if it helped before deciding to up it again or add in another medication. I myself take 3 different drugs because the combination of them lessen my symptoms and mood swings, one drug would make me feel slightly better in one area but i’d still be struggling in another, after time the doctors found a combination that works for me and helps me feel well. But you’ve got to be your own advocate, if the doctor isn’t good or isn’t listening find a new one, if the doctor doesn’t have a personality that works well with your own find a new one. Don’t settle or feel bad because you’re not satisfied, you deserve to be working with someone who you feel hears you, respects you, knows you and is doing what they believe is best for you by their education of your problem and medication and by their understanding of what you feel your biggest problems are and what you’re looking for.
PS I’m so glad tarzan helped you find somebody else. What an amazing blessing to be able to leave that horrendous place feeling probably very hopeless and frustrated with the answers to a place where you found something that actually helped. What an amazing guy I hope I find one like that someday.
Acutally, what you experienced is exactly what a psychiatrist does…they prescribe meds. psychologists or social workers are the ones that administer therapy. the questions they were asking you were not weird but actual cognitive assessments. by asking you to repeat three words, they was assessing your short term memory. I think your next step is more reasonable. Actually getting a ‘word of mouth’ referral. Finding a good therapist is not easy. Shop around. Good Luck!!
Thank goodness Tarzan knows someone who knows someone so that this story ended with some hope. Good grief, that experience would make a person crazy and no specific appt. times. For a new mom, meaning new baby at home? This is hindering, not helping. Looking forward to hear about the Dr. who helped.
Oh man… how awful!!!!! *hugs*
Just wanted to address something that kind of bothers me… One or two of you mentioned that I was judgemental towards the other patients in the waiting room. I was not judging them as being “crazy”, but simply stating that they were perhaps in a more severe situation than myself. I have had a family member that had schizophrenia & also one that suffers from bipolar disorder, so I’m no stranger to the severity of them & I would never judge. I have way too much compassion in my heart for those family members and for what they have gone through.
Perhaps it was my own fault for going to see this psychiatrist before checking into her background to see if she specialized in postpartum depression. Since I can’t go back in time and change that, I’ll simply ask that you see my post for what it was & that was definitely not trying to judge other people… Just saying that they needed a much different help than I do.
Jane don’t feel bad for feeling the way you were about the other people in the waiting room. I’m bipolar 2, my father is bipolar 1 the more severe form, my mother suffers from anxiety and depression so not only do I suffer from mental illness I’ve grown up around those who struggle with it and I still get nervous and uncomfortable around people with mental illnesses, you never know if they’re medicated and “stable” or “safe” or if they’re unmedicated and struggling with uncontrolled symptoms. I don’t think being uncomfortable around people with mental illnesses, or realizing that you’re needs and issues aren’t extensive as others and wondering if the doctors there have anything to offer you in YOUR circumstances and situations is wrong.
Coming from someone with mental illness and who has family with mental illnesses I did not take anything you said as judgemental, rude or inappropriate. Don’t feel bad you don’t need that stress!
Wow! I have seen psychiatrists for years for anxiety and depression and have never had an experience like yours. Although some of the questions about abuse are normal, the others were not. My short term memory was never checked like that and I never spoke to a nurse or a receptionist about any of my issues. It is always the doctor only. My doc appointments are short, but not the first one with a new person. That usually lasts about 30 minutes. Anytime we talk meds, I am given choices, explained the pros and cons of each, and then we decide together. I will add, as others have, that therapy along with medication has been the key to my treatment. My therapist is my reality check. She challenges my negative thought processes and helps me sort through difficult situations. I highly recommend looking at a combination treatment.
I wish you the very best and thank you for sharing your journey with us.
Wow. That’s insane. (No pun intended, mind you!) For my PPD they sent me to a psychologist/therapist instead of a psychiatrist. The doctor figured she could handle my meds well enough. I’m glad you found someone else. I hope your experience there is much better.
This reminds me I need to make my next appointment….
OMG! Poor girl! That sounds like something out of a movie. I really hope you find good, competent help and feel better soon! And I hope that you can soon laugh about that nutjob of a psychiatrist. Horrible story! All the best..
Geez Jane! As I was reading your post, I kept thinking,” If you are NOT comfortable, and it’s obvious this place is NOT the place for you or what you need, then LEAVE and DO NOT go back!” It’s SOOOO important for you to be comfortable with a psychiatrist. I’ve seen many throughout my life, and to be able to confide in someone on issues so sensitive, and in order to allow yourself to be vulnerable (which is ok), you NEED someone who is going to take more than 10 minutes to see you and not be so quick to medicate you.
I anxiously await your next blog about how the appt went with the PPD doctor went. KUDOS to Tarzan for being on the ball and making calls before you even arrived home!! You guys are amazing….
Oh my Word, I am so sorry you had to go through that.
I have seen a therapist (not Psychiatrist) twice in my life. The first time, the first thing she told me was that I needed to call my doctor and get some medication. I looked at her and asked why. She said because I was crying. Well, duh, my bf cheated on me, said he wouldn’t and did again, of course I was in a bad place. I called the dr, then decided that I wanted to try other things first. I NEVER felt good when I left her place. I used my total number of visits that my work allows for “Free” and never felt better.
Years later, I found another lady, who was FANTASTIC! She never judged me for being emotional, she just wanted to know how I was doing and talk through how I was feeling and where those feelings came from, instead of .. Here’s som meds.
Now, I should say here, that it’s not that I don’t believe in medication, I know people that use it and that need it, and I advocate that. But for me, in a 50 min session, I didn’t think she really cared about what I was going through. The second therapist, she just wanted me to figure out why I was doing what I was doing (in my case, dating man after man who were disfunctional for me). But, she NEVER made me feel like I was doing anything wrong, just that I needed to find myself again and find the right path.
I’m glad you are going to someone else, someone who will try to understand you instead of treating you like you’re making a Deli order with a number.
Take care Jane. I’ll say a prayer for you too that this is the ticket to you feeling yourself again.
I am completely shocked!!! I can’t believe some of the questions the RECEPTIONIST asked you. Its not common practise that the things you describe above, are type of thing that happens at the psychologists office. I would’ve come out there balling my eyes out too feeling all the more hopeless. I wouldn’t even waste my energy complaining to them about it – they probably won’t do anything about it.
Do some research for another psychologist/ therapist that specialises in PPD…the people you saw this time were frikken idiots!!!! I’m so angry at them for putting you through all that. I’m sure you’re so disappointed…I wish I could have a word with them…
Normally I’m just a reader of your fab blog, but I definitely felt I HAD to comment on this post! What a terrible experience. Have gone to psychiatrists for a few years now, I’ve learned there are “good ones” and “bad ones” and it can be incredibly frustrating to find the right one for you (especially when you’re actually in crises and need help immediately!). It’s like if you aren’t actively hearing voices or feeling suicidal, they don’t consider it a possible emergency, and you have to wait a month for an appointment.
It sounds like you’ve got someone that might work for you, but if you need to continue the hunt I would suggest a few things: before scheduling an appointment, ask if the psychiatrist themselves conduct psychotherapy (talk therapy) sessions, and if not, who on staff does. I’ve always had much better experiences at centers run by large universities rather than a smaller private practice; there seems to be more flexibility in terms of scheduling, and they generally have a “team” of people to oversee your care. I’m due in early November with my first, and I’m lucky enough to live near (and work at) a large university that has a Depression Center. They even have what’s called a Perinatal Team that works with the OB/Gyns and Midwives practice. As soon as I mentioned that my husband and I were considering starting a family, they hooked me up with the team for pre-natal and post-partum care. Of course, since I’ve had issues before I could get set up ahead of time so I really sympathize with that fact that you have to go through all of this at such a difficult time! Hang in there, strongly consider doing “talk therapy” along with medication, and e-mail me if you want info on potential large practices/centers in your area. I would in medical information and this is exactly the kind of thing we help people with every day
.
Kudos to you for looking (as hard as it may be) for help for you and your family!
Oops, “I WORK in medical information”
I’m shocked at what you went through & I’m glad Tarzan was able to get you in to see a better therapist. That first one is obviously not qualified and/or all about making money! Horrible!
That situation sounds HORRIBLE for anyone–especially for those waiting who may really need intensive psychiatric help! I’ve never been to a psychiatrist, but I have gone to a couple different therapists before to talk about things that were bothering me. I do believe it can be very helpful to get an outsiders viewpoint of what you’re going through and I was lucky enough to find a warm environment and attentive person to LISTEN and then ask the questions I needed to be thinking about. I hope that’s what you found with your 5:00 therapist and she can help you deal with things on your terms, not with additional medications if that’s not what you’re comfortable with.
wow that sounds like one heck of a day…. I hope this new Doc is a little better than that one…
Jane,
I am sorry this was such a horrific experience. I do have to say your telling of this appointment was fantastic. You are such a good writer and observer. Maybe the whole point of this appointment was for you to see how normal you are (despite these feelings at the moment). I can hardly believe how this Doctor operates, it was like a comedy routine, not that you need that. I look forward to hearing you positive story next!
If this was the doctor your OB referred you to, then you should make sure the OB hears about your horrible experience! I’m so glad you found a doctor that better matches your needs and I can’t wait to hear how that visit went (hopefully a hundred times better than the first!).
Wow, that’s horrible. Who wants to sit in a doctor’s office all afternoon!? And who has the time to do that? It seems very inconsiderate to their patients. I don’t blame you for never going back.
I didnt read any of the other comments but I wanted to say I think its good you stayed to see it out and what would happen. I dont blame you for wanting to run for the hills! No psychiatrist office should look like that, should be warm and inviting and i think its stupid that the receptionist and the nurse asked you those questions. I am glad you were able to find someone else and had a great experience. I look forward to reading about it
Sorry your first try was such a bust!
You have a wonderful support group in all your commenters. I feel your pain although I don’t have PPD, I did have the baby blues, its a real life change having a baby not to mention the fact that I haven’t had a full nights sleep in 2 months. Trust yourself and your instincts, I think you will be just fine.
Ugh! My heart is sick for you. Its terrible that you had to deal with all that mess. I think psychiatrists are often quick to to medicate! I really hope that you continue to have success with the new therapist! I too had some baby blues that passed quickly, but even from those I can only imagine how much tougher it was for you. You are truly in my thoughts!!
Oh honey I am so sorry!!!! I can’t believe that a DOCTORS office treated you like that. It makes me cringe!! Hopefully this next person you see will be better! I definetly think you need to let your OB know how awful it was!!!
Hi. I left an award for you over at mine, I know that you don’t really do awards (well from what I have seen) but I thought it might make you realise that we all care for you
Poor you! That sounds terrible… I personally know that it takes so much courage to actually go see someone, and then to have such a bad experience?? I truly hope that you’re having better luck with someone else… Hang in there!
I was really overwhelmed after having my second baby and went through a difficult adjustment pp. My midwife suggested I take Fish Oil and Vitamin B complex and I promise you it made a world of difference in just a matter of days. I’m not sure of the amount, I think it was 3,000mg of Fish oil a day (3-6 pills a day). And the Vitamin B complex gave me more energy throughout the day. Ask your OB or therapist about it, there’s been a lot of studies about fish oil and how it helps with depression. If you’re curious definitely talk to your health provider because I don’t think it would harm you any in combination with the anti-depressants, but I’m not sure…so if you consider it please, please talk to your doctor, because I’m no doctor! Just someone who it helped.
My cousin is a Family Therapist and she told me that one can expect to “interview” about 6 therapists before finding one that you click with. Which sucks, since you have to talk about such intimate things before you find the right one, but it helps to know that you may not always get the right person right off the bat. I’m really happy for you that the therapist you saw the second time was a much better experience. Talk therapy also helped me adjust to life after babies. Know that you’re not alone and you’re doing the right thing! Thank you for being so candid in your posts, it helps to know that others also have struggled with ppd and it’s more common that people realize.
P.S. I just want to make clear I was not suggesting you stop your medication or that I’m forcing my advice on you. I just wanted to share my experience and how it really did help me to feel more balanced emotionally. My husband lovingly laughs at me and how I’m always touting the benefits of fish oil to everyone, but it’s only because I was in awe of how different I felt after a few days. Sending good thoughts and prayers your way.
I am so sorry Jane! I totally disagree with Kay also.
I have seen both psychotherapists and psychiatrists. Therapists are for talking and learning new skills and working out problems, psychiatrists are for medication. I can tell you that my psychiatrist has ONE office where he sees every patient. He talks to me for about 20 minutes to get an accurate idea of where I am at and what I need. He says that time is essential to trying to decide which of the many medications would be most appropriate. I have NEVER in my entire life been asked those questions. AND NEVER asked anything by nurses/assistants/receptionists. Psychiatric appointments are afforded more privacy rights than regular medical appointments. There is absolutely no reason for anyone to ask you anything other than the doctor. If paperwork is to be filled out then it should be given to the doctor and nobody else. What a horrible experience. If I had ever had an experience like that I would have killed myself long ago because there would be no way in hell that I would go back for treatment. It sounds like you found a good therapist to help you out and I am sure you will have a totally different experience with her. If you aren’t big on medication, you can take natural supplements that are very helpful for depression. 5HTP and St. Johns wort are both very effective. 5HTP you will notice a difference in just a day or two, st. johns wort can take a long time. If you are interested or want more information feel free to find a nutritionist that specializes in supplements.
I can’t even express how much I wanted to yank you out of that office when you first stepped foot in there! I am amazed that you had the patience that you did because if it was me…..I would have told them off and left. Hugs to you Jane and hopefully the therapist you found will be sensitive to your needs and give you what you need. Hang in there! It took 9 months to build your progesterone up to astronomical levels and look at how it affected you over 9 months…..now imagine it dropping to 10 over just a couple of days! That is what happens to women when they give birth and it is this fast drop that causes the problems. It amazes me that doctors don’t recognize this and give post partum women progesterone supplements and wean them down slowly. It would solve a lot.
Oh. my. gosh. That is awful, a total nightmare. I was so glad to see this story had a good ending, particularly because my hubby is a therapist. Can’t wait to read about that visit.
OMG. That is NOT at all what should happen. Don’t ever go back to this person again. It would seem you live in Texas. You should reach out to Dr. Lucy Puryear at Baylor. She’s a specialist. There are others in Texas. What a story! Email me if you want to know about PPD specialists in your area. stonecallis@msn.com
I had similar issue with a consuler, right before I hit my lowest point. I am so sorry you had to deal with this. I agree you should try and find someone more specialized. I hope you’re feeling well. Please just don’t give up on that light, there is someone in your area to help I’m sure of it!
Jane,
I’ve never commented before but I love reading your blog. I am due with my first on 9/22/09.
I just wanted to tell you that I’ve been missing you and your posts. I hope you are feeling well and things are looking up for you.
Come back soon please!
Katei
Wow, what an experience. I’m glad you trusted your instincts & that Tarzan was such a good support to you in finding another therapist. Good luck, sweetie
I am missing it too! I know you have a billion things going on, but I miss both of yalls great posts!
I am so glad that you were able to find someone who specializes in PPD and that you were able to get in so quickly.
What you were put through in that first office was inappropriate beyond belief, and I’m so sorry you had to deal with it.
I really admire you for being willing to seek continued help, even after such a horrible experience.
I, too, suffered PPD after the birth of my daughter – it went untreated for 3 months, but I came out a stronger woman.
You are doing a great thing for yourself and for your family, and I hope it continues to get better. I look forward to reading about the GOOD experience with the new therapist.
While I was reading this, I couldn’t help but think about my terrible experience with a psychiatrist I was referred to after being diagnosed with bipolar 10 years ago. I had been going to counseling, but they can not prescribe medication, so I was referred to a psychiatrist. He was terrible and I hated the whole experience. Now I just do counseling.
My suggestion was going to be to get counseling while you’re trying out different meds and just get the meds from your family doctor or ob/gyn. Good psychiatrists are REALLY hard to come by. Therapy is a must and meds help, but I can’t believe they prescribe Abilify. If the Lexapro was not working, they should have switched you to something like Cymbalta or Pristiq, not added Abilify… what idiots.
Good luck!
Jane & Tarzan–
You are both in my thoughts & prayers. This is such a difficult time for so many couples. I wish there were a giant, fuzzy blanket I could wrap around you both & Monkey that would show you how much you are loved & understood, by a vast community of couples who have had similar experiences. I know that this is a whole family experience, regardless of who shows the symptoms. And I know that it takes that whole family to get well, again. Thank goodness they are there!
Like Katherine, I work with families experiencing Postpartum Depression and other Perinatal Mood Disorders. Please feel free to contact me, if you need some guidance through the minefield of mental health professionals out there…
Know this–I speak from experience–
You aren’t alone–at least one in every 5 women go through this.
This isn’t your fault–birth is a huge mental health risk factor, making it a medical problem.
You are going to get better. I did.
Signed with understanding,
Jen
That is the most insane thing I have ever heard. I can’t imagine any doctor treating me that way, let alone a doctor I’m seeing for emotional support.
I’m sorry for your experience. I also have to say my hubby has bi polar so we have quite a bit of experience with psychiatry doctors. We have been to many many psychiatrists. Many of them are just as quick to give medication before finding out the real issue. If you feel Leary of that doctor call others. Sure, it takes tons of time and it can be very hard to find them, but there will be one you feel comfortable with. If they will not answer your questions find someone who will. Mental health (even baby blues and post partum) medications are just a trial and error. In my experience many areas quick to judge a diagnosis than they are to give out the medications. Many psychiatrists I run into deal out medication rather than deal with the psychological aspects of a mental disorder. Definitely not telling you what to do. But you should feel comfortable with your doctors. When I had post partum I dealt more with the psychology and counseling part but was also referred to a psychiatrist. The bottom line is if you don’t feel like that psychiatrist is doing his job find another. I hope things get better for you. They should have told you ahead of time to expect these things. Not make you wait hours and then say oh by the way. To me it seems they were very unprofessional all the way around (of course, this is just my opinion).
First I want to say that I discovered your website about a week before I delivered when I was googling for “ways to induce labor.” I am bummed I didn’t discover the website sooner in my pregnancy. Second, my son was born on July 23rd also, as I was reading about events leading to your labor I was going through my own, which I thought was pretty cool. My oldest son is 6 1/2 so in many ways this feels like a first because its been so long. As far as the postpartum depression is concerned, I too have been feeling blue, but I take it one day at a time. Some days I feel great like I am over it, then only to find myself in tears the next. I have started exercising which helps a lot. Slow though nothing too crazy. I realized yesterday that when I am not feeling strong physically I have trouble being strong emotionally and mentally. A couple things that I try to do for myself everyday no matter what…take a shower (seems simple I know but goes a long way for me right now), eat…don’t skip meals (even if its something small) and spend some quiet time with my baby remembering how much he needs me and reminding myself that in 6 months from now these “darker” moments will be long gone and I will be wishing for him to be as small and cute as he is right now. Keep your head up Jane and know that there is someone out there who knows EXACTLY how you feel and that our little boys share the same birthday
What an awful experience! I’m so sorry. But, I’m SO glad that you found someone better — someone right for you. Can’t wait to read about it.
Knowing when to ask—and get—help is a big step.
Mike
http://somethingaboutparenting.typepad.com
Twitter: AboutParenting
Hi Jane,
I was not sure where to post this but noticed via facebook that it is your birthday today
Happy Birthday… Hope you are having a fantastic day
Hope you are feeling better
Peta
I am so grateful you shared your story. Many women would not have, and you’re helping everyone who reads this have the courage to speak up and keep going! I’ve included you in Serving Up The Best of This Week’s PPD Posts
Hugs, Christy
Jane? Tarzan? Are you there? Is everything okay?
I am a long time reader but this is my first time commenting. I am not pregnant but TTC and have found your blog wonderful, it is so brutally honest and I really appreciate that. I just thought I would break my commenting drought today because I am worried about you both, it’s been a week and on this site that is like a year without a post from one of you.
Also, thanks Peta for letting us know – Happy Birthday Jane
Hope to hear from you guys soon………….thinking of you both. xx
So sorry
Hoping for an update soon (but no pressure
and hoping you all are doing well with this hiatus.
Did anyone experience this kind of depression BEFORE they gave birth? I am feeling just like you…. don’t know what to do. Need some help.
I check every day for an update! I hope one of you will update soon! I miss the daily or every few day posts!
Elle–
Will you private message me at jen@kansasppd.org? We can then talk by phone and figure out a way to get you some help.
I went through depression during pregnancy, as do about 10-15% of women. It’s good that you are seeking help.
–Jen
Jane:
What an amazingly honest and moving description of your experience with Postpartum Depression.
I, too, went through a terrible bout with PPD several years ago, and the frustration of finding adequate help came rushing back to me when I read your harrowing description. My experience started with the desperate phone call to my OBGYN: All I could hear was a combination of her 2-year-old screaming in the background, the irritation in her voice that I wasn’t recovering, and her suggestion that I up the medication — which I wasn’t taking anyway. From there it actually got worse!!
Thank goodness, I finally found help, through a combination of mega vitamins, counseling and other lifestyle changes. This harrowing experience, along with my eventual recovery, inspired me to try to help others who are going through difficult experiences with their health. To that end, I now produce and host a radio show called Wellness TalkRadio. Each week I interview an expert, with the goal of helping others through the advice provided on the show. You may listen to some of my interviews at my website.
My company also produces live video broadcasts that – like my radio show — are dedicated to helping people solve their health issues. On January 16th, our broadcast, which will be available live over the Internet, will feature clinical psychologist, Dr. Shoshana Bennett, author of Beyond the Blues: Prenatal and Postpartum Depression, a Treatment Manual. In this live video seminar, Dr. Bennett will cover many issues regarding surviving Postpartum Depression, as well as ways to get support and recover. She will take questions via phone and email – and will be geared toward both parents and practitioners.
I hope that you and your blog visitors will be able to join us. Please go to http://drshoshlive.eventbrite.com/ for more information. And please feel free to email or call me, as well.
Kris Costello
This is an older post, but I wanted to say that this is what drives me nuts about healthcare. As a nurse (…and I am) you are forced to adhere to a protocol that often doesn’t fit the patient’s situation at all, but the MD will have a fit if you don’t go by the letter. Often times they have to cover their butts for legal reasons. The sad part is, the patient doesn’t get treated appropriately. I think it is pathetic that the psychiatrist dismissed your questions about your husband’s caffeine intake with a “because I said so…”, how condescending! Psychiatrists are pretty much the drug pushers, and I haven’t seen many that actually address concerns on a personal level. On a side note, my friend who has a PhD in psychology hates it when patients are prescribed Abilify. She says it is a psychiatric drug that wasn’t good enough to stand on its own and drug companies market it as an enhancement to other drugs to try to make up for financial losses. And the potential side effects are a mile long. I’m glad you met with a professional who fit your needs in the end!