It’s been a pretty crazy past few days. I can say that while I’m still feeling down in the dumps with postpartum depression, it does seem to be getting better than it was a week ago. I haven’t blogged in a week because things have been so out of whack and I didn’t want to sound like such a Debbie-Downer in any posts. I’ve noticed that when I’m feeling the worst, I retreat from blogging, answering my phone, and doing anything that I used to enjoy doing.
It’s like a force that is stronger than me comes over me and I just sulk in the house. I know that answering my phone, tweeting on twitter, blogging, and getting out of the house actually makes me feel better, but some days I just don’t have the energy or desire. I’m ready for all of this to pass because I feel like there’s so much I’m missing out on.
And I’m just going to say it again, I’m so. sick. of. crying. Since last Monday I’ve improved and only cried two days out of the past seven, but still. I’m so tired of feeling sad and weepy all of the time.
Right now I just put Monkey down in his pack ‘n play to sleep for (hopefully) a little while. His sleeping has been out of whack these past few days and I don’t know what’s going on. Prior to this past Thursday it seemed as if he was getting on more of a routine and he seemed thisclose to sleeping through the night.
He would take his bottle around 10pm, sleep until about 3am and only eat an ounce or two, and then sleep until 8am. It was great and I really thought the worst was behind us. Of course that only lasted until Wednesday night and then all hell broke loose. I have no idea what happened.
Thursday we took Tarzan’s dad and stepmom to the airport to leave. I was actually sad to see them go. Despite the fact that they were in the way at the beginning of their stay, they turned out to be really helpful. They fed Monkey and played with him just to soak him all in and also to give me a break so that I could take a bath, read a book, etc. While Tarzan and I took turns feeding Monkey at that 3am feeding, his stepmom woke up for the next feeding so that we could go back to sleep.
It was very nice to hand him off to her at 8am and then sleep until noon. Yes, I was very sad to see them go.
We took Monkey to the airport with us on Thursday and on the way home he started crying his eyes out in the car. It was awful to listen to him cry and not be able to do anything to comfort him because I couldn’t take him out of his car seat. When we got home I fed him, tried to play with him, and then put him down for a nap. That didn’t happen.
We were developing such a good routine for the two weeks that my in-laws were here and then it all changed on Thursday. Monkey didn’t sleep at night like he had been doing and nothing changed in that respect. He was a lot more fussy and Tarzan and I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Thursday night I was up with him about every two hours. It was rough.
Friday morning he was still being really fussy. He was biting down on anything he could (this was new), drooling, and some other symptoms of teething. He’s only 6 weeks old and I thought it was too early for him to be teething, but decided that I would call the pediatrician just to rule it out.
The nurse called back about an hour later and asked if we could come in for an appointment. I thought it would be a good idea to go since it was Labor Day weekend and the office would be closed on Monday.
My mom had said that she was going to come over and help out over the weekend, so when she arrived at my house we left to go to the pediatrician. This pediatrician appointment solidified my thinking that we needed a different one.
First of all, I’ve never liked the office. I know that this was only the second time of being in the office, but I didn’t have a good gut feeling either time. When my mom and I walked back to go to the exam room we both noticed the amounts of trash piled up and overflowing from the garbage cans. Yes, it was 4pm on a Friday, but how sanitary is it to have trash literally on the floor?
Absolutely disgusting and totally uncalled for, if you ask me.
The pediatrician came in and I told her about the teething symptoms and she ruled it out immediately because of the fact that he was 6 weeks old. She never looked at his gums at all. Then I asked why he was fussy and she said that it could be reflux or colic. She told me to look up Dr. Harvey Karp for information on colic.
Then I told her that Monkey’s head tilts to the left. She said that it was torticollis and to google it. Yes, the pediatrician told me to google on what exactly this torticollis was and what exercises to do to help with it. I was highly irritated at this point because why in the hell was I paying her money to hear to google something.
Then she said, “Have you done the newborn screen yet?” and I told her no. She said, “Oops, I must have forgotten to have you go to the hospital on Monkey’s 2 week old appointment, so could you go to the hospital and have it done now?”
Oops? Really? You’re a doctor. Shouldn’t you remember this kind of stuff?!
I paid the $30 co-pay and my mom and I went over to the hospital to have Monkey’s heel pricked. He didn’t even cry at all. What a good little boy!
When my mom and I got home we googled “torticollis” to find out what it was. Now I should let you know that while I was pregnant, even though I hardly had any worries, I was very hesitant to google anything. I always that googling gives you the worst case scenario for many things and I don’t like it because it just worries me.
Same thing with googling “torticollis“. I read that x-rays needed to be done to rule out spine problems. Hips needed to be checked for hip hip dysplasia. Of course everything freaked me out: surgery, physical therapy, etc. Even the articles I read about neck exercises to strengthen the neck said “check with your pediatrician first so that he/she can show you how to properly do the exercises”.
What’s up with my luck with doctors lately?!
I decided that I am no longer going to use that pediatrician and I will find another one tomorrow. We’ve all been doing neck exercises during the day and I’ve been keeping Monkey out of the swing because I think the swing makes it worse. If anyone has any experience with their baby favoring one side of head, please let me know what you did to fix it.
Anyways, so my mom stayed from Friday until today and it was so nice having her here. Yesterday I felt like I was getting sick, so I really stayed in bed all day and night. Not gonna lie, it was nice to be in bed. Oh how I do miss that big piece of furniture.
Today I decided that I’m going to pack up my office, which is downstairs, and turn that into the baby’s nursery. I should have just done it in the first place and listened to all of you that suggested that, but no, I’m difficult and have to learn things on my own. The painters are coming over tomorrow to paint the room (right now it’s pink) and my dad will be helping Tarzan move my office furniture out and the nursery furniture in.
The reason for this move is because I haven’t yet found a place for Monkey to sleep that I like. The pack ‘n play used to be in the living room and then we moved it in our room. After it being in our room for a little while, I’ve decided that I don’t like that either. It’s a pain in the butt when I need to change into my pj’s or if I can’t sleep and want to turn on the tv. Plus, I feel like I have to be so quiet because I’m scared to make any noise and wake him up.
So I’m hoping that I’ll like his nursery being downstairs, but in another room so I can still get on with my day/night and not have to worry about waking him up. Keep your fingers crossed.
As far as Monkey’s sleep, well, that hasn’t improved. In fact, it’s gotten worse. My mom stayed up with him last night so that I could sleep through the night and she said that Monkey was up every two hours. Sometimes he was hungry, but sometimes he just fell asleep on her chest. I don’t know if he just doesn’t like the pack ‘n play or what, but life has been more difficult with a baby who is super exhausted but won’t sleep.
He will sleep for hours in his swing, but I don’t want to go that route because of his supposed torticollis. I don’t want my son to have a crooked neck, or to have to have surgery so he is staying out of the swing for a while.
It’s so strange because I have no idea what happened to the schedule he was supposedly on. Somehow everything got mixed up and he’s like a two week old again. I was thinking that it’s his 6-week growth spurt, but I’m not sure because I feel like he should be eating more for that.
I’m just hoping that tonight is better since my mom is not here.
As far as my therapist appointment last Monday… It was great. We talked about therapy in addition to a psychiatrist and I got the name of a new psychiatrist from the therapist. Like I said before, Tarzan knows her and him and I both went to this appointment.
I talked, in great detail, about how I’ve been feeling and I shed many tears during this 90-minute period. It felt good to talk about everything. The therapist specializes in postpartum depression and she said that it cannot be “cured” without therapy in addition to medicine. It’s not like regular depression in that case. I have no problem with that and I actually enjoyed talking to her.
Of course I feel like I’ve waited so long to blog about everything that I’ve probably forgotten a good portion, but something that sticks out in my mind is that she kept saying that I was the “perfect candidate” for postpartum depression. The “perfect storm”, if you will. The fact that Monkey was a huge surprise, that I was so adamant on not wanting to lose myself with having a baby, that I work from home so am somewhat isolated, that none of my friends have children, etc.
Everything was aligned for postpartum depression to set in.
The therapist said that the US is so backwards when it comes to the aftermath of women having babies. She said that in other countries, even poverty-stricken ones, the new mother has tons of help for months after having a baby. It’s a village that helps take care of the mom and the new baby.
In the US, we all feel like we have to hurry up and get back to normal. We have people stay with us for a week or two and then are sent on our way to be a new mother. In other countries, new moms are shown the ropes and taught how to take care of a baby. To be a mentor to the new mom.
The therapist recommended us getting a postpartum doula to help out. I will admit that I have many reservations about this, even though I think I would benefit from it, which is why I had my mom come and stay for a few days this past weekend. I think part of me feels like I’m almost 7-weeks into this and I should be able to deal with it on my own. I have another appointment with the therapist later this week, so I know we’ll talk about this.
She also gave me Brooke Shields “Down Came the Rain” postpartum journey book to read. I finished it today and have to say that she wrote exactly how I’ve been feeling. To a “t”. It’s nice to hear that I’m not crazy, other people suffer from postpartum depression, and, more importantly, that there is hope. I related to everything Brooke said in the book and felt like she was in my head while writing it.
I can’t wait until I can get to the point where I enjoy being a mom. I am disappointed that I’m not “there” yet, but do have hope that my time will come soon. I can’t wait to look at my son and feel peace within like this is what it’s all about. I feel like I’m so far away from that feeling, but again, I have hope.
I guess I have to have hope and believe that things will get better because I want to stop living in this dark cloud I can’t seem to get out of.
You might also want to read:
- Postpartum depression: Stepping outside the box and feeling more confident
- Six week postpartum appointment and going to a psychiatrist for postpartum depression
- Postpartum depression therapy appointment: Success!
- Psychiatrist appointment for postpartum depression = A wasted day
- Being real with therapy, postpartum depression, family, & friends
= a post from Mommy Jane 
= a post from Daddy Tarzan
{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }
I hope things get better for you.
Are you swaddling the baby when you put him down to sleep? My daughter was always swaddled at night (and sometimes during naps) and she started sleeping through the night at 5 weeks.
Your ped is an idiot. Glad you’re going to be finding a new one. I tweeted to you, but I’m not sure you saw, that all 3 of my babies start teething around 6 weeks. It’s very sporadic until about 5 months (although my middle had teeth by 4 months). If either you or Tarzan got your teeth young, it’s even more likely that Monkey is teething. It could be why he’s not sleeping well, either. I ended up giving N 1/8 or so of the lowest dose of infant Motrin to help him sleep. You could also try Hyland’s teething tablets, I know lots of people who swear by them, but they didn’t help my kids much. Also, babies are just like that. You think they have a schedule, then they hit a milestone or growth spurt or start teething & there goes the schedule.
I’m glad your new therapist sounds so much better than the first person you tried. And that you were brave enough to try again. I left the office of the last one I tried completely suicidal 4 1/2 years ago & haven’t been brave enough to try a new one. The only thing that kept me going after that appointment was being 5 months pregnant.
You are doing a wonderful job taking care of yourself. I’m so glad to hear that you’re able to get some consecutive hours of sleep. Protected sleep is so important for new moms, especially those suffering from postpartum depression.
I know you’re sick of hearing this, but I can tell you from personal experience that things WILL get better. You will feel better.
My sister has a seven-week old baby, and she swears by the book “The Wonder Weeks.” It explains the different cycles a baby goes through and why fussiness may increase or decrease. Might bring you some peace of mind.
Oh how I remember the feelings you are describing! I had postpartum depression after both of my babies were born, but after therapy and finding the right medicine, I am doing great! I love being a mom now, but I remember sometimes resenting motherhood and feeling burdened by it.
Your therapist sounds great! I hope you stick with those appointments because it really does make a difference. You are not alone. You can get better.
Remember that your baby is REALLY young. Be patient with yourself. You are a new mother and it is OK that you don’t have all of the answers. Even experienced moms struggle with knowing what to do. Newborns are unpredictable by nature. It will take time to establish a routine, and that routine will get interrupted often because life happens.
A postpartum doula might be really helpful for you because she will care for you and help out around the house. It might also be worth finding a night nurse so you can sleep all night since lack of sleep can contribute to depression. The nurse cares for the baby usually from 8 pm to 8 am. The nurse often helps out with getting the baby to sleep through the night, and you can ask her questions!
Finding a new pediatrician sounds like a great decision. I called the office all of the time with lists of questions. I called when I wasn’t sure about how to take a temperature or if I was concerned about a behavior. The nurses were really helpful and put me at ease. They also let me know when I should worry. It helps if you feel comfortable with the nurses in the office. It also helps if your doctor is willing to answer your questions during a visit. I usually wrote my questions down so I would remember them.
I hope you start feeling better soon!
My son started teething at 8 weeks and had all 4 front teeth by 4 months! You need a new Pediatrician!! That is insane! Here is my son’s pediatrician information and all of the Dr.’s at this place are AMAZING!!
Texas Children’s Pediatric Center
http://www.texaschildrenspediatrics.org
Dr. Michael Knapick
They have several locations…
It definitely sounds like a growth spurt as well… He may even have bad reflux…
Get a second opinion please! This lady does not seem very reliable at all!
I am so sorry you are going through such a hard time.. The first few months are definitely the hardest!
It sounds like you are doing everything you know how to and the best you know how to… don’t get discouraged and hang in there!!
Meant to say I’ve heard CranioSacral therapy can be helpful with torticollis. This is just the first site I came across: http://craniosacral.wordpress.com/2007/11/19/how-craniosacral-therapy-can-help-torticollis/
I read this post at just the right time. I want to get pregnant, but am having thyroid problems, after total disappointment with my family doc I went to a specialist. I was so excited, but when he called with my blood test results he told me nothing. I was begging for information trying to find out if it is okay to get pregnant and he actually said I don’t know. I hung up the phone so frustrated and told my husband I must have too high of expectations. Then I read your post and you know what I don’t. We can never expect too much from the doctors that we trust with our health (and for you the health of your baby). Thank you for that reminder.
Sorry to rant about me, this is about you what I really want to say is that you already sound better in this post. I hope your clouds are clearing a little at a time.
Hang in there; when you get to the point that things feel normal again and the crying has stopped and you love being a mother, it’ll all be worth it. (How cliche, huh?) You already sound so much better here than you did in the past couple of posts. So just keep on keeping on.
As for the perfect storm? I totally believe it, 100%. When I was about 1 week postpartum, I remember thinking that I could completely understand how postpartum depression happens. I was incredibly lucky – I had friends with kids, family with kids, my husband was home with me for the first month, and my parents live four houses away. My mother is retired, so she’s always around, always willing to help out around the house or lend a shoulder or hold the baby. But if I didn’t have the support system I do, I could have easily headed down the path of postpartum depression. Easily. There are so many factors that go into these things, but I think your therapist is right: having a long-standing support system makes a world of difference.
I hope to hear that you’re feeling well soon. I’m sending out big Internet hugs!!
Hey, Harvey Karp “the happiest baby on the block” book really does help with colic reduction, you should get his video and learn the five S’s system. Don’t know anything about that condition about the head tilt, but hope you’ll find a better doctor for your baby.
It’s nice that your mother in law was so helpful, and your mom too, sounds like you got wonderful parents.
I told you about Brook Shield’s book in my previous post…aww, i think you did not read my comment
Best of luck to you!
I’m so glad you found a doctor who will really LISTEN to you about your ppd. You are doing a fantastic job coping with everything, and it will only get better.
I am just a few weeks behind you with my baby (5 week) and his sleep schedules are completely inconsistent. He’ll go a few days sleeping well through the night and last night he was up almost the entire time. I finally got him sleeping at 5:30 this morning. I’m not sure we can do a ton to influence the patterns right now, but I’m still trying to figure out how. The Touchpoints book from Dr. Brazelton has help to me on our baby’s behavior, but much is still a mystery.
Keep plugging. Sounds like you are doing a lot to feel better and finding outlets of help.
You might find that he starts sleeping better when he is in his own room. then you wont hear every little peep he makes and I bet he will put himself back to sleep more than he currently does without you getting up. And, if he’s hungry, trust me he wont go back to sleep.
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is my bible. For everything. Everytime my little one has a sleep problem I haul it out.
On another note, my son is 9 months old. I got help for my postpartum when he was 8 months old. I am so happy you didnt wait as long as I did.
Hang in there Jane…you’re doing great and things will start coming together soon enough!
My 2nd had torticollis, and we had to do a couple of physical therapy appointments to get his head back on track. Our pediatrician noticed it at his 2 month checkup and said it was plenty early to correct it, so don’t get too hung up on all the stuff you’re reading about surgery. In addition to the stretches, try switching which arm you feed/carry him in (uncomfortable, I know–use a pillow to help with the feedings), and put interesting things (mirrors, toys, you!) on his right side to encourage him to look in that direction. Good luck!
I’m so sorry with your luck of doctors lately, that’s terrible! I’m sure things will start turning around for you in no time, just keep your head up
I’m glad that you’re feeling a little better. It’s a rough road, isn’t it? You’ll get there, though.
I’m glad you’re getting a new pediatrician because you ABSOLUTELY need to see someone about torticollis. My daughter had it, and it can be serious but not if it’s treated. We did physical therapy with her for several months last fall – I don’t know if Monkey is old enough for that yet though. It was very difficult, but corrected everything for her. She’s absolutely fine now. If you go to my blog, you’ll see that I have a category for physical therapy at the very bottom of the page where I talk about it – feel free to email me if you need support. It can be an intimidating experience, but Monkey will be fine.
And hugs on the sleep thing – six weeks is a rough period. It will pass though!
The sleep schedule is a number of things. 6 week growth spurt…..it’s entirely possible that his gums are starting to tickle….. because his insides are growing so fast and trying to keep up with the growth rate, Monkey could have a little bit of reflux and the fact that he is growing can make a baby restless. Like the previous posters said, try wrapping him snug like a burrito. Both of my kids (around the 6/7 week period) would only be soothed by rocking on my legs. I’d swaddle them and place them on a throw pillow I kept on the couch. Up went my legs on the coffee table and I’d swing them till they fell asleep. I did that at the same time every night. Now, they sleep like champs. Do you have a crib for Monkey for the new nursery?? You’ve heard it 5000 times, but regarding Monkey, hang in there. Seriously.
Again, I highly recommend the postpartum doula. Try it. Worst case is you tell her that this isn’t right for you. But look into it. I think you’ll be glad you did.
Best of luck with the therapy. I hope that you find that little pocket of peace that we all need.
Wow Jane…… I’m glad you found someone who listens and that you feel comfortable talking to! I’m sorry Monkey doesn’t like his schedule anymore! I’m proud of you for lowering your days of crying down to two….. just remember that crying with the therapist doesn’t count lol. Good luck and best wishes!!!
I am SO relieved to hear you are getting better – even if you don’t feel like it, you sound/read like it! I agree with what everyone else said – keep up with the therapist and the doc and you will get better! You are doing an amazing job as it is, dealing with all of this and such a dispersed support system.
As for the torticullis, don’t wait. Get a better doctor or even a specialist to check it out right away! My niece has it, and some other conditions that may or may not be related. But their ped didn’t catch it until about 6 months. Now she is in the Easter Seals program and dealing with a whole lot of stuff that is not all related to the torticullis. But she is taking Botox injections now to help relieve the pressure on her neck and may even have to have plastic surgery because her facial features may be affected by the tilt! She is only 20 months old! She sees a doc at Texas Childrens, I think. If you are interested and email me privately, I’ll ask my Sister-in-law who they see so you can give them a call.
I’m so glad to hear that your new therapist is LIGHT YEARS ahead of your old one, in terms of both demeanor and knowledge! I’ve hit the 20-week mark in my own pregnancy and I’ve been thinking of your family often. I’m glad that things are (slowly) getting better and I look forward to the day you are able to look back on the previous week and realize that there were no tears involved at all and that your life has fallen into an equilibrium again.
Hi Jane
Glad to hear you are feeling better. I’d like to share my expereince with my little one and maybe we can compare notes-even though I know every baby is different. My guy has teeth, he is 8 wks and at his 4 wk app the pediatrician said he has teeth (hubby’s cousin had them early too) so I wouldn’t be took quick to rule it out. There are some all natural pills for infants that dissolve to help sooth the pain-I can’t remember what they are called? but they work. I think you will like having a real nursery-it took us awhile too to get everything set up but my little guy has been sleeping in his crib for 2 weeks now. We still haven’t decorated everything that bugs me but we have all the necessities in there instead of the living room. I feel much better and more organized. I put a new rocking chair in there the other day and I love the quiet time he and I get to spend together . In the evening its bath, bed and bottle and he hits the sheets although he does not sleep through the night either but I get 2-4 hrs he’s asleep. Invest in a good baby monitor and that should help alot. My mom is here too for another week I don’t know what I am going to do when she leaves-we can’t seem to find a sitter yet…she has helped me get organized and told me to trust my instincts and quit reading what other people are doing (I haven’t done that yet) Hang in there it does get better..
your so sweet, hang on! your gonna get through this. monkey is so lucky your his mom.
I see that one or two people have recommended Pediatricians for you to interview. I am also from the Houston area and my ENTIRE family has always used Dr. Goldberg (he was even my pediatrician), his son is taking over the practice now and they are both great. Might be an option if you are on the look out for a new one….which I would strongly recommend. It sounds like the one you guys are currently using is CRAZY. My nephews began teething at 3 weeks…..EVERY baby is different. I have heard of babies being born with teeth. And before you panic and stop doing something that seems to be working, you should get a second opinion on his neck. Again, no babies of my own, but one of my nephews (whom I helped raise) laid on his left side so much he didnt have any hair on that side of his head until he started sitting up. Sometimes it is just comfortable for them, but you should have it checked. I am soooooooo glad to hear that you are feeling even the slightest bit better. Just know that there is hope!
I had postpartum depression too. It kind of sneaked up on me b/c I thought was doing so good. Oh, except for all the crying.
And this was my second baby, so I thought for sure I’d know what I was doing, etc. I had really good results with an acupuncturist. Took about 2 months and I felt like myself again. (I had some side effects on the anti-depressants so explored other options.)
About the torticollis, check this out. My friend sent this to me a while ago. Might help you feel better,and give you another option. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yo1nzDnbcUU
Hugs to you Jane. Hang in there.
I’m so glad that you’re having better luck with the therapy. I completely understand when you say that you’re so sick of crying. I’ve been there, and it’s a terrible feeling. Stay strong!
Thank you for sharing this part of your journey with us! You are brave in so many ways!
I also wanted to share that my friend’s baby got his first teeth (can see them poking out the gums) at four months…..AND it was his eye teeth that came first! Stranger things have happened.
Thinking of you (all the way over here in Australia) and sending virtual love and hugs as you go through this.
(@mccammon1)
I am so glad that therapy is helping you, it’s very essential in taking care of yourself with PPD. You are a strong inspiration to all us mothers.
As for Monkey not sleeping, in the swing is good. You can roll two receiving blankets up and put one on each side of his head to keep it from tilting to one side. (I had three pediatricians tell me to do this) and at around 6wk is when my daughter started in with colic. She couldn’t sleep ATALL! If we weren’t holding her, or she wasn’t in her swing, SHE DIDN”T SLEEP. It got to the point where I had a recliner set up and ready to go for all naps and bedtime. I know it sounds bad, but once we got the routine down, she slept like a normal baby, except she slept on me. She even slept at night for up to 5hrs. Sleeping in the recliner, or laying on the bed surrounded by blankets was worth those 5hrs. At about 3 months old, one night, she screamed and screamed, I put her in her crib, and BAM! she’s been there ever since. It wasn’t easy, but we all got sleep that way. If it is colic, there are also pills (all natural-made by the company that does the teething pills-starts with an H) and they worked ok. I wish you the best of luck of getting the little one back in to a routine!!!!
Jane – I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling this way. As a woman about to give birth in the next few weeks, I’m increasingly nervous and anxious as I follow your blog. I’m just as excited as you were for the little peanut to come out…but as I read these new posts, it freaks me out that you fell so quickly and hard into ppd. I know it’s a possibility for me, but I didn’t fully appreciate the consequences of ppd until your recent posts. Is there anything a new mom can do to PREVENT ppd? From the point of view of someone who has pdd, are there triggers for you or is there something that I can try to preempt prior to delivery? Thanks.
My husbands step sisters son had an issue with his neck like this when he was born, or several weeks after. I don’t know if it was called this but I honestly don’t remember. He is now almost a year old and I am pretty sure that he no longer has this issue. I mean I don’t see him more than a few times a month and having a three month old now I see him less, but I haven’t noticed it in a long time. I know they had to take him to a physical therapist a few times and when they had him in his swing or in the bouncy seat they made sure in order for him to look at them he was strengthening the shorter neck muscle and not favoring the longer one. Don’t worry, you are doing your best to be a great mom! I am glad you are seeing a new ped though, good luck with that!
Just saw your post about torticollis. We just did the stretching exercises and it seems like it was gone by about five or six months. No xrays, nothing. But seriously, get a new pediatrician.
Oh and by the way, I know it isn’t a contest, but my son hardly ever slept for the first three months. That was just him. He ate every two hours (he had acid reflux so we couldn’t feed him tons at once). He would not sit in a swing. We held him, swaddled, what felt like 24/7. You will totally forget about not sleeping for three months. I know I don’t know you, but in reading your blog you are way too hard on your self! Easy for me to say. Mine is now four, but another will be delivered next Friday.
I think you are such a brave woman for being so honest and open on your blog. It’s very inspiring to see you so dedicated to getting through the PPD. I pray that your clouds will clear very soon and you’ll be able to feel the happiness and peace that you’ve been waiting for!
My son is 13 weeks and has torticollis. Really, googling it makes it sound so much worse. My son was evaluated by Early Intervention today and though he did not display any delay, he qualifies for in-home therapy services due to the torticollis diagnosis.
What the therapist told me is that it’s fairly easy to “fix” with massaging, heating, and stretching. I’d been doing some massage and was seeing a big improvement so I am excited to see what adding the heat and stretching will do.
Seriously, its not as scary as it sounds for most children.
I am so bummed that things are still incredibly difficult for you but I know that they *will* get better with medicine and treatment.
I have a two month old so I’m just a little ahead of you. On the sleep front, we’ve had great nighttime sleep success by developing a consistent routine. Our little man LOVES bathtime so we do a bottle, bathtime, lotion massage and dressing, a little more milk and then sleep. It works like a charm for both getting him to sleep and keeping him down for up to 8 hours. I don’t think it matters so much what the steps are as long as they are consistent, soothing, and minimize distractions (e.g. after bath, we go to his dimmed nursery instead of being in a bright room with a TV on). We also swaddle him in the Swaddle Me wraps which I absolutely love and think help a ton. Just another piece of information that may be helpful to you as you guys continue to settle in…
Know that there are tons of us “out here” going through at least some of what you’re experiencing and rooting for you every single step of the way!
I’m not a mom, but I have been dealing with anxiety and depression for years and years and YEARS — and have been in treatment for it — including therapy — for the last eight years.
I LOVED Brooke Shields’ book.
Jane, I’m also not a Mum but trying very hard to become one. I find your life insipring, the way you are handling things is amazing and I want to commend you and Tarzan on how you are dealing with these curveballs that are being thrown your way. Thanks for posting, I realise from what you have written it seems like the last thing you want to do. Tarzan has also been very quiet – how is he coping during this time?
Take care.
I didn’t feel like a mom for the first few months either. I remember going to church on my 1st mothers day and there was a video for moms about being a mom and most of the moms were tearing up and I was thinking WTF is wrong with me? When other moms would tell me my son was cute, I would say he isn’t the cutest baby I’ve ever seen. What mother says this?
Jane, I’ve been an avid reader for a while now and had my little boy on 9-9-09. It was a very long and traumatizing labor, plus i had major breastfeeding issues, and i have no family where i live. thankfully i have an amazing husband and his family is great.
BUT when we got home, with all the trauma from the labor (28 hours of labor, 2 hours of straight pushing, to end up in an emergency c-section) I was COMPLETELY overwhelmed, especially with the issues of breastfeeding that i was having. He wasn’t latching, and when he would he wouldn’t nurse for long. My husband was about to go back to work so i was just beside myself with fear. For my first checkup with the doctor (a week postpartum) he diagnosed me with the baby blues, and went ahead and put me on meds to try to prevent it from going to PPD. I feel much like you do right now. It’s such a joyous time yet i’m completely overwhelmed and afraid and i can’t enjoy it like i want. He’s almost 3 weeks old right now and it’s still VERY hard, but the meds are helping a bit. If i can only figure out how to get him to sleep more lol
Hang in there sweetie. There are a few of us who can definitely relate to you and what you’re going through and I think we can help each other through these trying times
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