I just have to vent about my mom for a minute. Oh. My. Gosh. I feel like no matter how hard I try, we just don’t click. I feel like she judges me without even realizing what she’s doing, if that even makes sense.
Yesterday and this past Sunday we hung out and went shopping.
While we were at a store on Sunday, my mom was holding Monkey. She showed him something & in natural baby form, he went to put it in his mouth. I pulled it away before he could eat it & my mom said, “You just want him to live in a bubble, don’t you? He needs to be exposed to germs to build up his immune system.”
I told her that I’m just being smart about germs & there is no reason for him to stick something in a store in his mouth. I also told her that he was exposed to germs by just being in the store.
Then we were in line at a store and my mom was saying how we live so far from them (one hour). Now I get that she would like us to live closer, but is it really necessary to bring this up every single time I see her?
Well she was saying that she doesn’t see Monkey enough because we live so far. I told her that there was nothing wrong with her car and that she could come over any time to see him & hang out. She said that my grandmother saw me all of the time when I was little because my parents moved five minutes from my grandparents. Then my mom said something like Tarzan & I should do that to make my parents happy. I told her that we will live where we want to make us happy, no one else.
Of course she didn’t like this answer. Then the lady in front of us turned around (she had clearly been listening to our conversation) and said, “I would give anything to live 1 hour from my grandchildren. I’m 8 hours away.” Hopefully that made my mom realize that one hour isn’t awful at all.
Then I realized that I should change Monkey’s diaper. I decided that I would change him in the car because it would be easier. While I was changing him my mom said, “I hope you don’t do this a lot. It’s so dangerous.” Ugh. That was the first time that I had changed his diaper in the car & I just feel like she says a lot of unnecessary things. It’s to the point where that particular comment might not be anything bad, but I just get annoyed at anything.
Yesterday we went out to lunch with some other people. My mom told all six other people, “I’m the only grandmother in the world who has no pictures of her grandson framed in her house.” I’m not one to make a huge scene in front of other people, especially when I don’t know them very well, but good God, why mom why?!
While we were eating my mom was holding Monkey. She looked at me & then said, “Oh, I wish I could give you some (diet coke). I would love to, but I can’t.” (Really mom, really? Diet Coke? To an almost 5-month old? Really?) She says this every.single.time we are together too. It gets old. Very, very old.
When lunch was over & we got into the car, not 10 minutes had gone by when she brought up the framed picture thing again. I told her that I send her pictures of Monkey & she knows how to print them from her home printer or shutterfly.com or Walgreens.
She knows this.
I told her that it wasn’t my responsibility to print & frame pictures for her for her house. & that I really didn’t like it when she brought it up at lunch because she said it in a way that made me feel guilty, when I should not feel guilty.
Then she decides to bring up my childhood… ”Jane, I don’t know why you say that you had a bad childhood.”
Me: “Mom, I’ve never said that I had a bad childhood.”
Mom: “You said that your friends didn’t want to come to our house in high school because it was like a war-zone.”
Me: “Mom, that’s true.”
Mom: “No, it’s not.”
Me: “Yes, it is. There was so much tension when you & dad weren’t speaking to each other & it was miserable to be around you guys.”
Mom: “Well, yes, but you didn’t have a bad childhood.”
Me: “I never said that I had a bad childhood.”
It’s a challenge for me to get through time with my mom & I feel so bad saying that. You know, both of these times that we hung out was because I initiated it. My mom is the one complaining that we live so far, but she knows that I stay at home with Monkey. She knows that I need to get out of the house everyday, so why doesn’t she call me? Maybe she just likes to complain? I’m not sure.
I really do feel like the worst daughter in the world because I feel like I can’t hang out with my mom in large doses. She just gets to me. & it’s anything but fun to listen to all I’m doing wrong.
Oh & don’t even get me started on the baby-wearing thing either. “What if the carrier comes undone & he falls out?” ”Are you going to wear him? Why don’t you just bring the stroller?” ”I don’t know why you seem to get in over your head by wearing him.” ”I don’t understand why you are making your life harder?”
Blah, blah, blah.
It’s just not enjoyable, no matter how much I try. I can only bite my tongue so much, you know? Truly & honestly I do not feel like I’m overreacting in my thoughts & neither does Tarzan. Are all grandparents like this with their children or is my mom one in a million?
You might also want to read:
- Monkey’s first outing: A trip to his grandparent’s and a Mexican restaurant
- Furniture shopping on Christmas Eve: A tale of two monkeys
- Sweet words from a loving uncle while eating lunch
- Pregnant wife gets larger, while dad-to-be loses weight. What’s wrong with this picture?
- Grandfather missing out on Monkey’s cooing & laughter = A sad mom
Listen and reply to this, my mother and my sister are going all out on each other, and, since the day my father got mad at my mother, my mother began telling me all about how she was doing financially, and then stumbled on a topic that pissed me off, my mother said that if she had recieved a e-mail from my father from my sister, then she will punish my father in her way, for my sister, try to guess what happens, it has to do with my sister being released from my family. If you had figured it out, then it would be that my mother would emancipate my sister from my family, and I am stuck in the middle of all this B.S. and I find out that my sister would not have a future because my mother, on the concept of my sister mailing something from my father, had done a Bull crap excuse for a move.
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