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Recaps & Resolutions: Out with 2009 & in with 2010

by Jane · 32 comments

New YearHappy New Year’s Eve!

I’ve never really believed in the whole “let’s make resolutions for New Years”.  I can’t honestly remember the last time I set out to improve my life on the first day of the New Year.

The resolution thing is strange to me:  Why wait until the New Year?  Why not try to improve in the areas you lack during the year too?

This year is different though… I’ve joined the herd of resolution-making mainly because it just seems like a good time to really take charge of certain areas in my life.

Before moving on to my resolutions, let’s recap 2009:

1.  Monkey was born & my life changed forever.  Motherhood entered my life, shifted all of my priorities, and made me into a new & better person.  I am blessed & thankful that Monkey made me into a mommy.

2.  My relationship with my husband also got even more fabulous in 2009.

3.  We had money problems & I’ve never seen my husband so sad & depressed.

4.  Our money problems went away.

5.  My relationship with my parent’s went way downhill.

6.  My relationship with my brother increased to awesomeness.

7.  I gained weight ( pregnancy) & weigh the most I ever have in.my.entire.life.

I’m sure there were many other happenings in 2009, but those were the ones that really stood out in my mind.  There are many things that I hope to change in this next year.  & I’ll admit that I’m started to feel really overwhelmed by having resolutions.  I don’t want to fail, hence all of the pressure I am putting on myself.  (I knew there was a reason why I never made resolutions in the past!)

Here’s What I Hope To Accomplish In 2010:

1.   Lose weight & be healthy.

This is my priority because of Monkey.  Yes, I’m not going to lie in saying that I want to fit back into my clothes that are gracing my closet & acting as decorations right now, but I also just want to be a healthy mom.  Monkey is going to start eating real food & I will be his example.  I don’t want him seeing me reach for convenience for the pure sake that it is convenient.  I want him to learn healthy eating habits & I realize that it stems from me.

Plus, I’m just miserable.  Who wants to have a 5.5 month old & still be wearing maternity jeans?  Sure I could go & buy regular jeans, but the last time I tried that I had to get either a 10 or a 12 (which is big for my body).  Um, thanks but no thanks.  I will stick to my maternity jeans until I’m no longer a slight fatty chubby.

(If you are a 10, 12, or a 20, I am not criticizing you.  I’m only saying that for me & my body, I should be a lot smaller than that size to be healthy.  I’m not judging you here.)

2.  Make exercising a priority.

This goes hand-in-hand with the above.  Prior to Monkey I loved exercising.  It was never a hassle to me, but pure enjoyment.  I used to hear moms talk all of the time about how hard it was to fit exercise in & I never understood that.  But now I do.

Holy Hell, it’s hard to make time for exercising when there is a baby in the picture!

When Monkey naps, I want to get on the Internet, blog, twitter, facebook, check my email, etc.  I don’t necessarily want to exercise at the same time every single day, but I’m started to realize that that might be the best thing.  His morning naps are the same every day, whereas his afternoon naps are a completely different story.  The only time I can completely count on for exercise would be during his morning naps.  So they say, “You gotta do what you gotta do”.

3.  Improve relationship with my parents.

I have realized that while I don’t understand my dad’s way, nor agree with, I have to accept that I can’t change him (no matter how hard I try) & need to accept him for the person he is.  Both of my parents mean well & I know that.  They just handle things a little different from me…  But they are the only parents that I have & I need to try to improve my patience with them & accept them for who they are.

4.  Hang out with my grandmother more.

She’s not going to be here forever & I hope to hang out with her at least once a week.  It’s hard because she can’t walk well & refuses to use a walker.  Clearly since I have to carry Monkey, I cannot prevent her from falling so it’s like a two-person job.  But I need to hang out with her more, even if that means just going to her house.

5.  Answer my phone.

I simply hate talking on the phone.  I like texting & emailing.  Impersonal? Yes, but that’s what I like.  I don’t prefer to waste my time bullsh!ting with someone on the phone when I just have a simple question to ask them.  Hence, the texting.  However, it’s gotten to the point where I just press “ignore” when my phone rings & then text back.  As my mom says, “I just want to hear your voice sometimes”.

6.  Continue to improve the relationship with my husband.

The one thing that seriously lacks in our relationship is sex.  I’m going to go out on a stem & say that it’s mostly my fault that this doesn’t happen often anymore.  When Monkey is napping, I want my alone time.  When Monkey goes to bed, I don’t want to go & have sex.  I’m tired by that time.  It’s like there is no good time to have sex.

I also think a lot of my lack of a drive is because I feel fat & gross.  & because I feel like a mom.  I’m with Monkey all day long & while I love it, I just see myself as a mom.  Not as a wife, a friend, a shopping buddy, etc.  Just a mom that acts stupid to make her son laugh.  A mom that talks baby-talk back to her son.  A mom that has spit-up on her clothes more often than not.

What about you?  What things do you hope to improve in 2010?

You might also want to read:

  1. Exercise is my prescription for having a good day
  2. Unsolicited drunken advice about babies & marriage
  3. Thoughts from a hurt daughter: What does it take to win a dad’s love?
  4. Oh yeah, it’s official: Monkey sleeps through the night!
  5. Phone ringing, baby screaming, doorbell dinging, & dog crying

Facebook comments:

{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }

1 "little" one

go Tarzan!!!!!!!!

2 Tarzan

OK – just so everyone knows, the weirdo Madge/Lena/NMN has been blocked from our blog forever.

She (or he) (… or it) tried posting another comment on Jane’s last post about seeing a snake on our walk. The comment was quite idiotic and she/he/it came across of a snake lover. Literally.

Jane and I are sure she/he/it never reads the comments – so has no idea we called him/her/it out on this one. We’ll never know how many identities she/he/it used here and how many fights she/he/it tried to start. But who cares. She/he/it is blocked from commenting on our blog forever.

My suggestion to that person who lives in or around Raleigh, North Carolina… Get A Life.

3 Amy Lynn

If it makes you feel any better I am the same way with my phone. I hate talking on the phone. Which is funny because I loved it like crazy when I was a teenager. But now like you I would much rather text or email some one. Or even respond to them on Facebook. LOL I have a few friends who just don’t speak clearly into the phone. I can’t stand when people mumble. And nothing irritates me more then when some one calls and leaves a message for me to call them back to talk about something. Just leave me a quick message in reference to what you want. I will answer you with a text later. HE HE HE Those people never get an answer back from me until I see them on chat on Facebook. HA HA HA Maybe I should make answering my phone more often my New Year’s resolution. But then what do I have a Blackberry for????

4 Tarzan

Good find wife Jane. Lena/Madge/NMN … I have a feeling those are only a few of the names she’s used. I’ll do some digging via her IP Address and see what else she’s been up to.

If I find comments/replies where she is replying and/or fighting with herself trying to get a rise out of other people, I wouldn’t be surprised.

Do people really have that much time on their hands to manage multiple personalities while commenting on blogs? Jeesh. I wish we had all that extra time!

Glad you figured it out and called her out on this Jane.

Errrr…. some people, eh?

5 Jenni

Jane, Thanks for your response to my previous comment. I may have been a little overly sensitive as some of the other posters pointed out–but who’s not overly sensitive at 37 weeks pregnant???? I look forward to reading your blog each day and I wish you and your family a happy new year.

6 HeatherS

You should just block NMN or immediately delete his/her comments. Although his/her ignorant comments are source of amusement, I like the idea of their frustration at being unable to post, even more :)

7 Megan

Very lame! Sometimes, it seems like people just want to bring the hate instead of the love. Lena/NMN/Madge, I hope you find your happy place, and SOON!

8 Jane

Lena/Madge/NMN :

If you are going to post negative comments on our blog under different names, you are not a very smart person. It’s called an IP Address & I look at them.

“Lena” is a new name, but “Madge” & “NMN” are just plain rude & annoying. I knew that there was no way that people disliked us that much & I was right. I’m sure you thought you were being so creative by using different names to post your ridiculous comments, but you weren’t.

You really need a life. Seriously. I guess there’s not too much going on in Winston Salem, NC, eh?

To everyone else: Yep, this annoying commenter has all been the same person. How lame is that?!

9 Lena

The more I read your blog, the less identifiable you seem to me and the less I like you. At first I felt really bad for you because it seemed like the cost of the delivery for baby was more than you can handle. Now I see there is a reason you didn’t get any assistance…you HAD the money to pay for Monkey’s delivery, but didn’t want to spend it and would have rather spent it in such things as a Tempurpedic bed. Now, you just seem spoiled to me. And now you call a size 10 a fatty? Whatever.

10 Crysi

I am definitely in the weight loss/more exercise boat. It sucks, but I know it needs to be done for my health and I know if I have a positive body image, my daughters are more likely too as well. That’s incredibly important for me. I also know if I lose the weight, my stupid acid reflux will go away. It did before, but now I’m about 15lbs more than that.

11 Melissa - The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans

I think you have some great goals in place and I can pretty much relate to most of them!! More exercise? Check. Lose weight? Check. Better relationship with hubby (or more sex)? Check!

Happy New Year!

12 Meagan

Hi Jane! I read your blog all through my pregnancy, and continue to do so now that my two month old daughter’s here!

You asked about New Years Resolutions correct? Just making sure…it seems that the point of this blog has been overlooked.

My resolutions are much the same. I am nineteen, and was fortunate to pretty much have my pregnancy weight melt off…not trying to gloat here. I am very soft, though, and need to tone and get rid of this excess flab : /.

I would also like to become closer to my husband. I find myself resenting him for not having to be at home with the crying colicky baby (who I love more than anything) all the time. I want a break! But I need to learn to communicate better with him.

Anyway, I love your blog, and am sorry that since it has grown in popularity, some of your safety and “venting” privledges have been compromised.

13 Julian's Mommy

I’ve never done resolutions and I still refuse to do them this year, but I commend you for thinking of some for yourself! Don’t be so hard on yourself for the weight…I gained 60 lbs during my pregnancy, and I honestly don’t know how much I have left to lose. I refuse to step on a scale! I know I’m not fitting into any pre-pregnancy clothes…but I see my ‘bad’ spots get smaller and smaller every month, so that’s encouraging. My only word of advice – don’t assume that buying ‘real’ jeans will depress you. I had to buy 2 pairs in a size WAY above any I’ve ever worn in my life and still it felt great to just be wearing REAL pants. It’s also nice when they start fitting looser and looser.

As for sex…in the same boat in a major way…and for all the same reasons as you. It’s hard to balance everything (and for me, throwing my job into the scenario as well). I feel bad for my husband, but honestly cannot give any more than I already am. How am I supposed to meet HIS needs when I don’t even come close to having time to meet my own? It’s been an issue with us…one that I hope resolves as the baby gets a bit older and sleeps a bit better!

Happy New Year and good luck with all your resolutions!

14 MVP

Won’t comment on the size 10 thing. But I do want to bring attention to the thought that when you call yourself “fat”, you may be giving your son a skewed image of what being overweight or obese is. You may be giving him weight issues without even knowing it. You may never lose that weight. What, are you going to call yourself fat for the rest of your life? Be aware of the example you’re setting for him.

I say this because my mom has been trying (not really) to lose weight my entire life. She brings weight into everything, even nearly giving me a complex when I was pregnant, saying things like, “You’d better start exercising or you’ll end up like me. I NEVER lost my baby weight…” And she’s really not that bad. But she has never worked very hard at losing the weight. Anyway, just wanted to point out that your son’s listening and watching everything you say and do. How ’bout putting on a happy face (as I’m sure you do) and pretending that you LOVE and ADORE your body? Even if you don’t really, it’ll give him a sense of security about his own body and perhaps the woman (or man) he chooses to be with one day.

15 Erin

Heathers: All babies are different! My older son STTN at two months on just breastmilk. My younger son is almost six months and nowhere near STTN. It’s hard, but all babies do eventually sleep!;)

And Jane, it seems like people are forgetting this is your blog! I know just what you mean. For me, a size 6 or 8 is healthy–I would not feel comfortable in a 10, so I understand!

16 Melissa, mom-blogger

Hi Jane,

I had my little guy on Jul. 23rd too, gained 40 lbs, but have lost 25 of those…still 15 lbs left to get to pre-preg. weight. If you don’t mind me asking, how many lbs. do you need to lose before you’re back at your pre-preg. weight? I’ve heard people say it takes 9 months to put it on and it can take that long to get it off. Good luck with your resolutions, Happy New Year!

17 Hannah

I’m disappointed that people aren’t more understanding towards those who have weight issues.

It’s not about political correctness.

Some people, myself included, struggle with their body image and with eating disorders. Hearing someone refer to a size 10 as a “slight fatty” is enough to make me feel depressed and like I shouldn’t eat anything for the rest of the weekend. (And yes, I know that that is not healthy and I am working on accepting my body.) But that kind of a comment still stings and makes me feel bad about myself.

I’m not saying that Jane should censor her post. I’m just asking for everyone to have some compassion for those of us who are sensitive about weight issues, instead of accusing us of being concerned with political correctness (which I’m not) or making fun of us by saying we’re easily offended. Thanks.

18 Alohababy

my phone has vbeen on silent since my baby was born 4 months ago, i only wanna talk to people when i feel like talkin. im a size 14 now, i look ok and iv got some new nice clothes but its just not me plus it would be a sin if the clothes in my wardrobe never fit me again, what a watse of money!! i hear ya on settin a good example for your child re diet,i was only thinkin the same myself.
also dont know why people are getting offended by the “fatty” comment, you were talking bout yourself and nobody else. must be hard for these people getting offended so easily, how do they find time to do anything else :)
happy new year

19 "little" one

GO HEATHERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! You tell ‘em! Jane I have been so worried about my weight! My fiance and I were close in weight to begin with…. I was a drinker and he’s itty bitty. We were ten pounds apart. I now (27 weeks pregnant) weigh more than him. It’s downright depressing. My resolution was to lose weight by the end of this year, but surprise, I got pregnant faster than I thought. I stand by you in losing weight, and darn it you have the right in this country to say what you want when you want. My mother has always been overweight and she is a 22. She laughed at everything you said. She wants you to know that she calls herself the HFG. Healthy Fat Girl. She has been trying to lose weight her whole life, but she is finally “healthy”… she no longer has a high BP or cholesterol. Good luck and have someone sit for a day or two and spend some time with your hubby when you feel like your in better shape.

20 Judy from Toronto, Ontario Canada

Hello Tarzan and Jane,

It’s been awhile since I’ve last visited so I had to catch up on the missed blogs. Glad to hear that you had a wonderful Christmas! It’s hard to believe that Christmas is over and now we are getting ready to celebrate New Year’s Eve! I think your resolutions are good ones. Good luck on achieving them.

Mine will be to make the most of the time I have off while I’m on maternity leave. I want to be able to take good care of the family (myself, hubby and the baby). This means getting back into routine and look forward to fitting in a little vacation in there somewhere…Since I am a teacher I NEVER get to travel outside of peak vacation time when flights are super expensive. That’s it.

Have a wonderful New Year!

21 HeatherS

OMG yes! FAT arms! My husband thinks I’m crazy…but seriously, WTF happened to my arms?! I wear long sleeves in all photos now :) And as for the muffin top…that’s why when ppl (family) ask me what size I’m wearing now, I say, “well I can fit into a size 8, but I wouldn’t wear it in public”.

My son gets up a few times a night, we usually cosleep (easier that way) but lately I’ve been trying to get him to sleep in his own room…he will but still wakes up frequently, and rather than just popping a boob in his mouth, I have to trek across the house, feed him, and come back. That really cuts into sleep time. We do have a bedtime routine. In our case, getting him to sleep is easy, it just that he wakes up frequently after the first 3 hours. He’ll even go back to sleep easily, but it requires a boob, or paci, or other minor intervention…he just won’t do it by himself. Maybe I need to let him cry longer, but it’s hard to do at 3 am. I’ve found that some baby food mixed with a little oatmeal does help when given before bed, maybe I’ll try formula at night and see if that helps!

22 melissa austin

I seem to have the same resolutions for the most part as you do. I had my 4th kid this year (3rd in three years YIKES!!) and I am making it a point to loose weight and be healthier this coming year . I need to loose ALOT of weight. Always more then happy to be an online workout buddy if you need one. I know accountability seems to help me alot.

I need to start answering my phone too…but I am so not a phone person that is why I have unlimited texting ;)

23 Jane

Thanks HeatherS!! I’m so glad that you understand where I’m coming from. :) I could care less about the particular size I am; I just want to be healthy & I currently have a muffin top. My arms feel huge, as do my hips, thighs, & ass. It’s not pretty, ladies!

AND I have to agree about everyone becoming so P.C. Frankly, it’s a bit annoying that people have to guard what they say to the very “t”.

Now onto sleep. I wish I could tell you the magic secret, but I have no idea. I honestly had no idea how lucky we have been until people keep telling me that their son/daughter still gets up 2,3, 4 times a night.

I think (& I’m completely going out on an uneducated guess) that it could be the formula. Not sure if it’s an OWT or what, but I’ve heard that formula keeps the baby’s belly more full than breastmilk. Again, could be BS, don’t know.

How long does your baby sleep at night? Do you do a dreamfeed before you go to sleep to try to hold him over longer? Do you supplement at all? Do you have a bedtime routine each & every night? Does he sleep in his own room in his crib or co-sleep?

& sorry to hear about the weight/breastfeeding thing. I always wondered if I would have kept BFing if I would have lost the weight quicker. Who knows!

Good luck to you & thanks for sticking up for me. You rock!

24 HeatherS

ok well I have to say Jane, we have a lot in common. Our sons are the same age, (I think mine might be 3 weeks older than yours)…I feel the same way as you about my current weight (and would be wearing the same sizes….I actually did go out and buy a couple pairs tho b/c I just couldn’t bring myself to wear my maternity ones anymore). I agree with your resolutions…again very similar to my own. My husband is sick of the “i’m fat” comments too. The one thing you’ve got on me though, is SLEEP….what magic wand have you waved to make your little boy sleep through the night??? It’s the one thing that makes me want to quit breastfeeding (maybe that’s the secret, cuz it’s not the secret to weight loss for me). And for all you other ladies, fat is relative. “Fat” for our bodies may be different than what you consider “fat” for your body. It sounds like Jane wants to be at healthy BMI, if you’re healthy in a size 10…good for you, but I know that puts me into the overweight category medically. If you have a problem with that, take it up with the AMA. The world is getting way too politically correct. Jane has a right to speak from her own perspective (which is why we’re all reading this blog in the first place)…so don’t make her start analyzing everything she says to make sure it doesn’t hurt anyone’s feelings. Good luck in 2010 Jane!

25 Jane

NMN – Once again I can count on you to be late to the party & try to chime in on something that was already discussed. Lame, but thanks for playing.

26 NMN

Since when is a size 10 a fatty? Glad to see I missed the memo on that or I would be beating myself up for being what I thought (know!) was a healthy weight for me. Also, you are not just a mom, you are your husbands WIFE. Focus on being a stellar wife as well as being a stellar mom.

27 Jane

Jenni – I sure have a way with words, huh? Sorry that I offended you & if I offended anyone else. I should have picked a different word to use, but since I feel fat – that seemed to be appropriate at the time.

I’ve noticed that I’ve been going around (well, to my husband) & calling myself “fat” all of the time. I’m sure it’s pretty damn annoying for him to listen to & it’s not doing anything wonderful for my self-esteem. I’ll stick with “chubby” from now on. Or “pleasantly plump”. LOL

Anyways, again sorry to have offended you. & good luck to you & your resolutions for the new year. Here’s to being proud of whatever size we are!

28 Jenni

I have to comment on this quote from your first resolution:

“I had to get either a 10 or a 12. Um, thanks but no thanks. I will stick to my maternity jeans until I’m no longer a slight fatty.”

I happen to wear a size 10 (pre-pregnancy) and I feel that I am healthy and fine w/ that size (ok, maybe slightly less than fine with it since I’m writing this post). Anyways, not all of your readers are size 2 (I’d be willing to bet many are in the 10-12 range). My point is that your comment is insulting to me and you’re insulting yourself at the same time. Give yourself (and me) a break–it’s not like your baby is 5 years old. I’m hoping to get back to my size 10 self as soon as I can after my baby is born in a couple of weeks and I want to be proud of that size.

Good luck on your resolutions–Happy New Year!

29 Aliyah

I have so many lol…I’m resolving to lose my baby weight, be a better student, stop procrastinating, clean my house more often, spend less time on the computer and spend more time with my friends who I’ve neglected horribly this past year.

30 Erin

Great resolutions! I hope to be a more patient person. I get too antsy at times and hope to become more laid back. I also hope to better my relationship with my husband. We want to start a family in 2010 and I really want ‘us’ to be good in order to bring a child into the world. My hubby has some issues to work on personally and I hope to help him with those issues and be patient and trusting along the way. Easier said than done.

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