
Yesterday marked the beginning of 2010. It also went down as one of my scariest days ever. For real.
Picture it: My parents, Tarzan, & myself went for a walk around our neighborhood. Doesn’t seem scary? Oh, just continue reading.
Our area is a bit, um, wooded & my mom kept walking really slow on the sidewalk. I told her to speed up & thenshe picked up a long stick. Uh, ok mom.
We’re all walking, talking, & having a grand ole time when suddenly my mom yells, “SNAKE!”
I immediately yelled, “SSSHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTT” & ran backwards. My dad was pushing the stroller, Tarzan was holding our dog, & my mom was near them too. We were on the freakin’ sidewalk, y’all. & it’s winter, which means I’ve been lied to my whole life about snakes.
Yep, I’ve always been tremendously terrified of snakes. Like I don’t even go into the reptile house at the zoo because I’ll have nightmares. Or I won’t look at those things in a book, or even touch a picture of one. I’m that scared.
So to see a snake in the beginning of January when they are supposed to be in hibernation is completely possible I’ve learned. Take caution & consider yourselves warned.
Back to my story…
Why I ran backwards, I’ll never know. It would have made more sense to run past the sucker since that’s where we were headed, but clearly I was not thinking. Clearly.
I actually don’t even remember yelling “Shiiiiit”. I was told that I yelled that.
So I’m behind everyone freaking out & yelling for someone to come & give me a piggy back ride. My dad is manning the stroller & my husband is kicking this 3 foot (at least) creepy, crawling thing back into the grass & off of the sidewalk. He tells my mom to run back with me & she follows his instruction.
But now what?
On both sides of the sidewalk you will find woods. Well, lots of trees & then there is the street. My husband tells me & my mom to run to the street, which means we would have to run in a lot more grass, which means that there could be even more snakes in there.
After all, don’t y’all know that snakes travel in pairs?! There was no way that I was running through grass. Next piece of advice, Tarzan…
He says that he’s got the snake under control. Our dog is growling at it & the snake is popping his head up to strike.
Oh dear God we are going to die is all I’m thinking. My heart was beating rapidly & to say that I was scared is quite an understatement.
My mom grabbed my hand & said, “Let’s run past it”. Not a good idea mom. Don’t you know that snakes can sense when you are scared & when you run away they will bite you???
Well, there really was no other plan, so I agreed. We ran as fast as we could & then I kept on running. It was awful, but the snake didn’t run after us. Thank you Jesus.
I told Tarzan that we are moving into the city & into a high-rise. Those places do not have snake problems. Oh & you can bet your sweet a$s that I won’t be walking around here alone.
(Oh & you didn’t really expect me to put a picture of a snake in this post, did you?! You know that I didn’t even peruse that section of pictures. Eww.)
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I don't mind snakes, but I can totally symphasize. At least you don't have family that purposfully tortures you with your fears!
However, I laughed out loud at this line:
" It was awful, but the snake didn’t run after us. "
LOL
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