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Celebrating New Years Day with a simple walk… Or so I thought

by Jane on January 2, 2010 · 13 comments

happy 2010 to meYesterday marked the beginning of 2010.  It also went down as one of my scariest days ever.  For real.

Picture it: My parents, Tarzan, & myself went for a walk around our neighborhood.  Doesn’t seem scary?  Oh, just continue reading.

Our area is a bit, um, wooded & my mom kept walking really slow on the sidewalk.  I told her to speed up & thenshe picked up a long stick.  Uh, ok mom.

We’re all walking, talking, & having a grand ole time when suddenly my mom yells, “SNAKE!”

I immediately yelled, “SSSHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTT” & ran backwards.  My dad was pushing the stroller, Tarzan was holding our dog, & my mom was near them too.  We were on the freakin’ sidewalk, y’all.  & it’s winter, which means I’ve been lied to my whole life about snakes.

Yep, I’ve always been tremendously terrified of snakes.  Like I don’t even go into the reptile house at the zoo because I’ll have nightmares.  Or I won’t look at those things in a book, or even touch a picture of one.  I’m that scared.

So to see a snake in the beginning of January when they are supposed to be in hibernation is completely possible I’ve learned.  Take caution & consider yourselves warned.

Back to my story…

Why I ran backwards, I’ll never know.  It would have made more sense to run past the sucker since that’s where we were headed, but clearly I was not thinking.  Clearly.

I actually don’t even remember yelling “Shiiiiit”.  I was told that I yelled that.

So I’m behind everyone freaking out & yelling for someone to come & give me a piggy back ride.  My dad is manning the stroller & my husband is kicking this 3 foot (at least) creepy, crawling thing back into the grass & off of the sidewalk.  He tells my mom to run back with me & she follows his instruction.

But now what?

On both sides of the sidewalk you will find woods.  Well, lots of trees & then there is the street.  My husband tells me & my mom to run to the street, which means we would have to run in a lot more grass, which means that there could be even more snakes in there.

After all, don’t y’all know that snakes travel in pairs?!  There was no way that I was running through grass.  Next piece of advice, Tarzan…

He says that he’s got the snake under control.  Our dog is growling at it & the snake is popping his head up to strike.

Oh dear God we are going to die is all I’m thinking.  My heart was beating rapidly & to say that I was scared is quite an understatement.

My mom grabbed my hand & said, “Let’s run past it”.  Not a good idea mom.  Don’t you know that snakes can sense when you are scared & when you run away they will bite you???

Well, there really was no other plan, so I agreed.  We ran as fast as we could & then I kept on running.  It was awful, but the snake didn’t run after us.  Thank you Jesus.

I told Tarzan that we are moving into the city & into a high-rise.  Those places do not have snake problems.  Oh & you can bet your sweet a$s that I won’t be walking around here alone.

(Oh & you didn’t really expect me to put a picture of a snake in this post, did you?!  You know that I didn’t even peruse that section of pictures.  Eww.)

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I don't mind snakes, but I can totally symphasize. At least you don't have family that purposfully tortures you with your fears!

However, I laughed out loud at this line:

" It was awful, but the snake didn’t run after us. "

LOL

I'm so with you on the crazy fear. I also don't do pictures and if I see one on TV I freak out. I am glad you made it through that encounter- I would not be leaving my house again for a long time after that!

Snakes are horrible. I lived in the mountains of east Tennessee and dealt with my fair share of them haha.

I live in South Florida, lots of city, and we have had snakes in the office about 3 or 4 times.... One was under a chair during my office baby shower and we didnt know til we were done and cleaning up lol.

awwww Jane I'm sorry! I would have been like that if it was a spider..... EWWWW

I've loved reading the responses to this post. Like M, I wonder what makes people so afraid of things like snakes. I have absolutely no reason to be afraid of them...I don't recall any traumatic snake encounters from my childhood. I love spiders and rodents, though...I had a pet rat that most people thought was disgusting!

That's so scary! I'm really glad you all are ok.

OMG that is so terrible. But it makes me laugh too, only because I can relate. I DO NOT like snakes at all either. I had a prank played on me the last night of college. Our apt doorbell rang and I answered the door to find a Mary Kay box on our doorstep. My friend a few doors down sells Mary Kay and I'm thinking "Oh how nice, a little cleanser. I'm running out so its just what I needed." As I open the cardboard flaps, and turn the box down to dump out the bottle into my hand...... a snake fell out.... INTO MY HAND!!!!!!!! eeeeeekkkk. I dropped it and All of us screamed as the snake slithered all around our floor.
My other roommates were all screaming and freaking out and no one else would go after it to get it out of our apartment so I attempted to get it with a candy cane in a make shift snake can like on TV (again not thinking just freaking out) It was about to go under the couch, and I had to grab it and literally throw it outside into our parking lot. Luckily it was just a little garden snake, but still it was so gross and scary at the same time. We were all so mad.... we knew that whoever did it was must have been watching close by because we heard laughing, but to this day we never found out who pranked us. Oh and when I told my husband this years later, he thought it was hilarious. sheesh.

Bless your heart! I feel awful admitting it, but your post made me giggle a little bit. I grew up in rural areas in Mississippi and spent summers way out in the sticks in Louisiana, so I'm the kind of person who will pick a garden snake up and move it if I think it's in a dangerous spot and who won't kill little spiders that get into the house because I know they'll probably die in the cold. I remember crying once when my mother decapitated a snake that was in our garden (it was venomous and I still felt bad!). Still, I know a lot of people who are really scared of snakes - and I can only imagine how I'd feel if I saw a snake threatening my dog - so I'm glad nothing bad happened.

Jane i am with you on the whoel snake thing... I grew up in the bush so they were apart of life in australia we have some pretty deadly snakes around.. Our cat brought a deadly baby brown snake into our house one day so very scary. but to make matters worse my Brother in law and Step dad both own snakes as pets and when i went to visit just after Paige was born we had to sleep right next to two snakes, and at night they use a red light to keep them warm so there was no escaping them I was so worrired the snakes were going to get out of their enclosures and bite us both oh and they have a pet spider and lizards as well.

wow, talk about starting the year off with a heart attack! was it poisonous?
you're gonna hate me, but i love snakes. then again, i live in maine and snakes aren't exactly just hangin around everywhere and i don't even think we have deadly ones.
but anyhow, i'm glad everyone's okay! sorry your nice walk had to be ruined.

First, I will thank you for not posting a pic of a snake on your blog. I swear I would have stopped reading forever.

From the beginning of your blog I've told my husband that I felt like I were reading something I had written myself, so when I read this, I found that statement to be true once again. When we were in college, my husband was flipping through one of my biology books and asked why some of the pictures were covered up. Yep, I went through and taped pieces of paper over all of the pictures of snakes. Glad to see I'm not the only one who is *that* scared. I've also thrown away magazines I haven't even finished reading because I've been startled by a picture of one. And not even in the recycling bin...straight into the garbage, which is highly unusual because I'm a HUGE tree hugger. I'm glad you're ok!

Oh sweetheart, I am RIGHT THERE with ya on snakes. Imagine how scared I was when one came up my freakin SINK!!!! OMG, I called out housing office manager & told them they needed to get someone here NOW to get this damn thing. 5 minutes went by. NO one came. I call back. Told them I was about to leave the house to the snake & tog et someone here NOW. The police came & took it away. After my kids were asking "Can we keep it, Mama??" Oh HELL NAW.

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