Today while Monkey & I were grocery shopping I saw a dad with a completely full cart of groceries & a car seat. He smiled at me because clearly I’d been there (with the car seat inside the cart).
When you have a baby in tow, it’s like you are part of a group, I think. Like “been there, done that, & I completely understand the look in your eyes”.
Anyways, after I smiled back with a “don’t worry it’s get easier” kind of smile, I thought about how cool it was that he braved the grocery store with his little newborn. Then it got me thinking how I’m always the one that takes Monkey to run errands. Tarzan has never taken Monkey out of the house (even on walks) without me present.
Not that I’m complaining at all because I truly love being with Monkey, but I think it would be a good father/son activity for Tarzan & Monkey sometime. God forbid, but what if something happened to me. Would Tarzan even know what to do? I mean, I’m sure that he would learn over time, but I definitely don’t think he would initially be too comfortable with a baby in tow.
& that’s the reason why I’m going to have him take Monkey out more & more… You know, to practice & to spend some quality time with his son. I’ve shared this with Tarzan & he’s totally up for it. We both think it’s a good thing to implement.
Oh & just for the record, it’s not like Tarzan is scared to take Monkey out – It’s just that I do all the running around so Tarzan doesn’t really get out for that kind of stuff. But the next time he goes to the bookstore or somewhere of the like, he’ll be bringing our favorite little buddy with him.
I’m curious: Does your husband/partner take your son/daughter out to when he goes out?
You might also want to read:
- Oh. My. Gosh. – Lunching with a screaming child makes me want to pull my hair out
- Something like 60% of married people get divorced after having a child
- Another father-to-be realization: Learning the sex of our baby makes things REAL.
- A note to my child who is currently living in my wife’s pregnant belly.
- Sweet words from a loving uncle while eating lunch
= a post from Mommy Jane 
= a post from Daddy Tarzan
{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }
Yes, but only on occasion. I actually blogged about this a while back but his taking our child out has happened only a handful of times. Usually, if he needs to go somewhere, he does not take our baby with him…she stays at home with me or we all go out together. I think it’s sweet/bold/brave/fun when daddies do that and I hope he takes advantage of more opportunities in the future! And same for Tarzan!
He does only when he has to. i think its a mom thing to do it. even if i am running out & my husband is home, i tell him that i will take one of the kids with me so he isn’t home with both of them. My husband had to take both kids to get shots last week so many thought that was admirable of him (but i have to take them to their doc appts all of the time anyway)…
With our first child, I did ALL the work. I was a full-time SAHM and like you, I naturally fell into the routine of doing EVERYTHING myself. After our second and third babies came along, it was just a matter of necessity that I would need help with all the little ones and so I recruited Daddy to help with everything from diaper changes to bedtime to running errands with kiddos in tow. I noticed that when I took a step back and encouraged my husband to help me with our babies that it not only boosted his confidence as a father but it created a whole new relationship between father and child. While it’s a mother’s instinct to take ALL the care for her child, she often forgets that dads need that special time with their little ones as well!
My hubby (TechyDad) has always taken the boys out. When I was pregnant with our little guy the two boys would go out to let me lesson plan and rest. Yes, TechyDad was a little intimidated the first time he took both boys out solo (who wouldn’t be really?!), but now he enjoys it. The biggest challenge is coming in the next week or so. We are going to the Disney Social Media Moms Celebration. Two of the days he will be going solo with both of the boys (6 & 2) at Walt Disney World while I’m participating in the conference and events.
My husband takes one or both of our kids pretty regularly. Because I am home with them all day, he sees it as a time to do a little bonding in his own way. He races with the shopping carts (which I never do). He also does some other fun stuff I don’t do, so they enjoy going with just him from time to time.
Just to add to what TheAngelForever said, I relish my time with my boys. My typical weekday includes about a half hour of quality interaction with them, if I’m lucky. (Other interaction seems to be of the “Not now, I’m cooking dinner” kind.)
The Disney thing will be a challenge, but I plan on meeting up with other dads with kids and going as a group. Safety in numbers and all that. Plus, while the moms network in a conference room, we’ll get to network on Disney World rides. I can’t think of a better way of networking than on Disney World rides, can you?
Well I haven’t had our little guy yet but I know once I do it’ll be the same way with us. I am always the one running around doing errands and he rarely goes out with me. So once our little guy is here I’m sure it won’t change.
We haven’t produced a spawn yet…though it’s probably not far off… However the husband (mine, not yours
) would probably take said spawn or endure the evil eye from yours truly. Cause we all need a break from the maddness…even a non- mom knows that. 
My hubby actually is the SAHD so our situation is completely reversed. I am the one who is complete nervous going out with him alone. He is a cool cat…..I’m always scared of a meltdown with W in public and the reaction of everyone else. The last time I ventured out to Target W melted down as we were picking up formula. Tarzan will be great! Father/Son time is a must these days…..I love that my hubby and my son are completely at ease with each other. I wish that I could have as much time with W as my husband does, but that’s the life of a working mom.
My husband watches our son on Mondays while I work (Mondays are his days off). He’s actually better about taking the baby places than I am! I’ll sometimes hold off on errands until the 3 of us can go together since it makes things easier (we live 30 minutes outside of town, so outings are a bit long trying to get everything done in one day.) So yeah..they go ll over the place some days or stay at home playing all day on others! It’s good daddy-baby time.
My hubs actually takes our son out a lot. Whenever he runs to the store or to the occasional park visit. They like to have there boy time, which I always laugh at because our son is only one
.
My husband takes the dog and our 5 mo. old for evening walks and long walks on the weekend so I can have some down time! This is when I have the house to myself which is so nice. He actually can’t wait until our son turns 6 mo., so he can put him in the jogging stroller and go on runs w/ him.
As far as running errands, he will take our son occassionaly…but this is usually on the weekend, and most of the time we do this stuff together…
Yep, mine will take all four (yep 4) out by himself. He’s comfortable with it and actually enjoys his time with the kids. He has the kids by himself for two nights a week while I go to class. My DH will soon have to learn how to deal with 5 kiddos all on his own!!
I’d say I am the one to do most of the work when it comes to the baby, but my hubby does pitch in when he can because I can see that he misses doing stuff with her. It’s rare, but when he does stuff without me it’s nice because it gives me a break and he gets to spend time with her alone.
I sometimes think it’s not fair that I have to do everything, but then again I am the Mommy and when I think of what he’s missed (he has missed her rolling over from back to tummy, saying “muh-ma” and tasting solids for the first time) I wouldn’t trade my job for the world. Soon, I’ll have to go back to work and I will miss all that time I had with her.
When we go out, my hubby likes to take control of the shopping cart with her in it or he’ll take the stroller when we head out. He always drive and helps put the stroller in and out of the car trunk.
Imy case daddy has only looked after the baby once for a couple of hours while i went to a work party he has never taken her out on his own I cannot see that happening ever
When my son was young I was the only one who ever took him out a lone. But now that he is older he frequently goes out with my husband. I spend most shopping trips alone because my son would rather hang with dad or go to dad’s store then mine. Of course I didn’t help my cause over the weekend when he decided to stay with me at the mall while dad ran to Menards. I went into a maternity store and bought maternity panties. And of course the sales lady had me try on 10 different costume changes before letting me buy my darn granny panties and one shirt. Poor kid glazed over so badly. Ya I am pretty sure this baby is going to be my only shopping companion for the next few years. LOL
Seriously, isn’t a dad out alone with a baby the sexiest thing?
I keep telling my husband that but I think he thinks I’m trying to be manipulative . In all honesty, when I see a dad with a baby, I think it’s hot.
(on a somewhat related note, I was always bothered by parents tipping the male counselors at the camp I worked at but not female counselors…as if there was this understanding that it’s not “natural” for the guys to take care of kids so they deserve a little extra).
Same as Casey here. Doing stuff alone with Monkey I’m sure will also help Tarzan understand and appreciate even more all the little things you are doing every minute when you take care of Monkey (like f.ex. automatically constantly listening to the tone of his voice when he’s babbling to catch that first sign of him being tired, to be able to react quickly, you know, the ‘mom’ things),. If someone only spends short periods of time alone with a baby, it’s difficult for him/her to fully comprehend how much energy it takes to be alert for hours and hours or DAYS in a row.
I like your plan!
Hmm. I don’t think Milord has been out alone with Princess yet. I do leave them home alone from time to time though, and he’s offered to mind her at work if I get my hair cut… must take him up on that!
I do most of the running around but I would love to see my husband take him out on occasion. He stays home with him at some point during the weekend so I can grocery shop which I enjoy doing alone as I can really linger! He will also stay home so I can meet a friend for coffee or have a few hours of baby-free time so I’m glad for his natural hermit side sometimes…but I hope as our baby gets older, he’ll get out with him more for some bonding time.
Sounds like Tarzan doesn’t need any more convincing, and I’m sure you’re not ready to think about baby #2 yet, but nonetheless…I heard (on a Pregtastic podcast, I think) that before baby #2 comes along, it’s good for dad and the firstborn to spend a lot of time together. After the baby’s arrival, that will be the case out of necessity and it will make the transition a little easier. It’s not just “why don’t I get to be with mom ALL THE TIME like I used to?”.
I am so lucky, my husband is amazing with our son. His job is very flexible, so he is the one in the morning that dresses our son (I try to do this, depends on when he wakes up), gives him his 1st bottle, and gets the rest of the bottles ready for our nanny. He also lets the nanny go about an hour before I get home, they play till I get home, then he gets the baby’s bottle ready, and makes us dinner! He takes him to the grocery store (something I actually have never done on my own). I bet by now you are all wondering what I do, LOL!
Oh yeah. My little boy’s been to Home Depot more times than me since he’s been here! DH takes him on errands at least once a week, I’d say. He did last weekend to give me a couple hours at home by myself. The other times were when I was working my occasional weekend job. Oh, and there was the time he took the baby to the mall to get my Xmas present. He was carrying him in the sling and said he was actually uncomfortable with all the attention he got. There’s nothing cuter than a guy toting around his baby in a flowery sling!
The answer is yes…absolutely…I have a three year old daughter and I couldn’t imagine running errands without her. Not all the time, not 24/7 or course. But nearly every day. Only today I took Avery to the shipping store and then to the coffee shop where we had a great conversation with a mom and her daughter we happened upon. That to me is one of the beautiful things about being a father…sharing the everyday with your children and seeing what wonders you come across and what people you meet…
D
I have often felt the same thing. I think highly of dads who brave taking their children out alone. If I see dads with kids at parks, it makes me think they are fabulous because it is so rare!
I think my husband took the kids alone to Burger King once to play and he wanted to kill himself afterwards and he said he was completely stressed out… I had no sympathy.
To miss out on the every day with your children is to miss out on 50% of parenting and a world of wonder (and sometimes lots of stress)…
That said, ironically, I just had 8 straight hours solo with my two very young girls today. It couldn’t have gone any better — and I was still exhausted at 6pm when mom walked in the door. I just wrote about the experience….and that’s yet another great thing about doing the “every day” as a dad. You experience what moms have to go through 24/7…
Because of my crappy work schedule right now, my husband stays home with our son on Monday, Wednesday and Friday nights. We have a sitter come on Tuesday and Thursday nights. When I first started this new job, I was VERY nervous to leave DS in my husband’s care(hubs was nervous, too!), but only because I’d always done everything. I only worked 30 hours per week at that time, and I had the weekends off. He worked 60+, so it made sense that I would do it all. Now that I’m working 45+ hours per week, he has taken over the nightly duties, and he is doing a wonderful job! DS is on the same schedule I had him on, and if my hubs has to go somewhere, the baby goes with him as well. Given the chance, I know that Tarzan will do just as wonderful a job as my husband. And yes, it will be nerve-wracking to him(just like it was for you the first time you took him out on your own), but he will succeed, and it will make him more confident.
As a Stay at Home Dad I think the roles are reversed a bit. I take the boys anywhere and everywhere as a matter of necessity. My wife rarely takes both boys somewhere if she can avoid it but always tries to take one of them with her.