As you know my husband and I were in San Antonio this past weekend for our first getaway without Monkey. It was really a fantastic time all around!
I’ll spare you all of the details, but our weekend can be summed up in a few words: spa, drinks, sun, food (specifically queso), and walking.
I had the best spa day of my life. It included an 80 minute swedish massage, 80 minute pedicure, manicure, body wrap, time in the sauna, steam room, & sipping on lemon water with cucumbers on my eyes in the relaxation room.
Ahhh, it was glorious! (& it’s okay, be jealous. I know I would! 
)
Fast-forward to the drunken advice that I was given. Tarzan and I were at a bar and a very friendly drunk girl told me to kiss her cheek. I was not as drunk as her, so I declined, but we struck up a conversation. What a way to break the ice, eh?!
She asked why we were in San Antonio & I told her that we have a 7 month old baby & just needed to get away. She told me that she was a newlywed, the 2nd time around. Together her & her current husband have five children together. She said, “Don’t tell my husband, but I wish that I could have made my first marriage work.”
She went on to tell me how wonderful it was that Tarzan & I were out, not as parents, but as a married couple. She said that right when she had her first child, her & her ex husband stopped working on the marriage part of their relationship. They were just so & so’s mom & dad.
They fizzled out of love & did nothing to make it work, hence the divorce.
She told me to cherish this time away from Monkey because it would make me a better mom, wife, & all-around person. We only talked for a short time, but I totally & completely agree with her.
This past weekend did wonders for how I feel about my relationship with my husband. It made me realize that we still have it & still have a great time together. I implemented a rule that we didn’t talk about Monkey, work, money, etc. Our short weekend was just about us. Obviously we ended up looking at pictures of Monkey on our phones, but we just enjoyed each other’s company.
While I was getting a manicure a lady said to me, “Oh, you must miss your son terribly!” While I did miss him, I needed this getaway & I was at a point when I was ready for it. I knew Monkey was in excellent hands with my parents & honestly I was just having a great time with my husband. I missed Monkey, but I wasn’t rushing back home & cutting my trip short.
I forgot what it was like to not have a routine. I forgot what it was like to eat breakfast slowly and without interruption. I forgot what it was like to have one too many drinks, dance with my husband, come home at 1am, & then sleep until 10am. It was just what I needed.
My advice to anyone that is a parent, whether you have one child or five children, is to take time away from being mom or dad & remember what it is like to be a couple. You will come back being a better mother/father, husband/wife, & a happier person all together.
You might also want to read:
= a post from Mommy Jane 
= a post from Daddy Tarzan
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That sounds FABULOUS!!! And yeah, I’m SO jealous!! I hate to say it, but my hubs & I are trying to get back to “us” & not just being Mama & Daddy. I tried explaining that Mama & Daddy need alone time, like a date, to my 7 YO. Yeah, didn’t go over so well. “Why do ya’ll need to DATE? You’re already married to each other?” It’s hard balancing it all, but you get to see what’s important.
That definitely sounds like a great idea. Unfortunately, TheAngelForever and I don’t get too many “date nights.” (Something we probably should have a few of, but that never seems to happen.) Considering that we have two “pricy” trips this year (one to DisneySMMoms just last month and an upcoming one to BlogHer), we probably won’t be able to afford a “just the two of us” weekend retreat. The BlogHer trip will just be the two of us, but I suspect it’ll be more run-run-run-meet-greet than romantic retreat.
Next year, however, will be our 10th anniversary. Sounds like a good excuse for a nice, long romantic trip to me! And maybe we need some “nights out on our own” to plan it.
I am so jealous! But, you are so right. Thanks for the reminder…
Sounds like y’all had an awesome time! We need to get away at some point. I am due in May so maybe after this baby comes my parents can watch both of the boys and we can get away.
Fantastic advice. As a mother of 4 children, ages 8, 3 and 1 (twins), I totally agree. Time apart from the children once in awhile is essential to maintaining a good healthy marriage. Congrats on the weekend away, and I’m totally jealous of the spa time!
I so agree with you …meanwhile was just curious as to how your weight loss journey is going …was so inspired seeing your first postpartum snap so cant wait to see a follow up.
It’s so great, isn’t it? That first post-baby adults-only getaway? I think it’s great that you didn’t miss your baby (too much). That means you were really enjoying yourself. I *am* a little jealous, but it’s good that you’re posting this so other moms can read it & feel like it’s OK to get away. I’ve met some moms who have never spent a night away from their kids in like 4 yrs. Wha???
Holy crap. That sounds amazing. I’m going to get some time to myself soon but sans husband AND baby.. I’ll be gone all weekend in about 3 weeks for my chorus’s competition. Nellie’s going to be at her grandparents’ all day Friday, overnight and all day Saturday.. Looking forward to a Mom getaway!!!
Nice. Good for you guys. I am jealous about the Spa !! Having some time to yourself and/or with your significant other is refreshing and everyone needs to re-charge. I used to feel guilty about leaving my first son when he was very young..but I soon realized that I needed the break and that I should enjoy my time away when I could get it !
Glad you enjoyed yourselves. I’m still a long way off that stage with Miss 9mths. An overnight trip for us wouldn’t be worth the stress. About 3hrs apart is our limit! That being said, we do still go on dates, go to restaurants, weekends away etc, its just that our daughter comes with us, and for us, at this stage in our lives, we’re good with it.
Our relationship has never been better since she was born, and for some reason we haven’t felt the need to get away on our own yet. (maybe ask me again in a couple of years!)
Your weekend sounds lovely and much needed!
I have to agree with Jenny though: my husband and I both enjoy our little girl’s company way too much to be seperated from her more than a couple of hours. We do go out for meals, a movie, and nights with our friends, but I don’t trust anyone enough to comfort her when she wakes up during her sleep. I’m glad the relationship with your parents must be better now as you would not leave Monkey at the stressful place it was not so long ago.
I guess everyone’s just different and some relationships have to adjust more than others. I find mine is still the same really: we just have some lovely company on our holidays, business trips and days out. We pop our 17 mo old in the Ergo and off we go. She sits on our back pointing at dogs and my husband and I talk and talk and talk
you have a blog award!
I am envious. It sounds like you had an amazing weekend. I’m hoping we can do that sometime in the not too distant future! We do try to have a date once a month and that has helped us reconnect.
It sounds like such a great weekend away! I don’t have kids yet but it sounds like solid advice to me! and maybe you needed to go away to be reminded how important your marriage really is!
I am soooooo jealous!!!! My weekend consisted of me and the fiance putting the nursery together….. only 3 weeks to go!
I’m happy to hear you all had a great time. It’s sooo important to have that time together to be husband and wife, not Mommy and Daddy. We try to go out a couple times a month for dinner or something. We also have date nights in. I love those times together. I’m leaving on Thursday and taking a 4 day trip to Vegas with some friends. I can’t wait. I know I will miss my little bean, but I can’t wait to kick back with my friends and have a good ole time and not worry about the killer hangover the next day!
Sounds like you two had a fabulous time. That’s great! More importantly, now you know you can go away with Tarzan for a nice romantic weekend and not worry about Monkey as much as you thought you would. When you came back, didn’t you feel all energized to go back to your motherly duties? How is Tarzan after the getaway?
My husband and I went to Cancun in December for our 5 year anniversary. We left the boys home with our parents. It was the best time! We were able to connect and sleep late and drunk lady was right, we did re-connect and it did make me a better mom and wife. I look forward to another vacation alone in the near future!
We are in the midst of raising two little monkeys and I can only imagine what it must be like to get a break. I LOVE having the crazy, chaotic joy of our household but I also long for simple things like watching a movie in a theater or sleeping in past 6:30am.
Also, I just wanted to inform readers that we’re doing huge giveaways this month at Greenbabyguide.com in celebration of the release of our first book. It’s entitled, “The Eco-nomical Baby Guide: Down to Earth Ways for Parents to Save Money and The Planet.” We hope you stop by and win some loot!
Oh my mom and I went to the Riverwalk just last month for her birthday. We stayed at the Watermark and did their rain massage and facial and had the 80 min mani pedi too. It was bliss! Where did you stay?
Hey Karen -
We stayed across the riverwalk at La Mansion del Rio & I was at the Watermark spa actually. How funny!
I’m so glad you had fun. I miss those days of sleeping in and staying up late most of all! But I just remind myself that these days with a baby are fleeting and my husband and I have the rest of our lives together. We still make time to be together, but I can’t be too far away from our little one because I’m the only one who feeds him. That’s just the way it is. But trust me, when this time is over, the husband and I will enjoy a glorious weekend away without the little one. Cannot wait.
Who would think such wisdom would come from such an unlikely messenger! I wish hubby and I had someone we could trust our kids with like you do. It would be wonderful to do something without the kids once in a while. As for your spa day, I am sooo jealous!
Sounds like you had a wonderful time. Now if only I could farm out these 4 villagers, I might try to do the same thing with my wonderful dh!
Yay! I am so happy for you. My husband and I are going away in 2 weeks for our first getaway from our 7 month old. We also make it a point to get a babysitter every other Saturday night and go out on a date. Some people seem funny when we tell them that we leave the baby that often and you can tell they are silently judging us. It’s crazy. It is extremely important to keep your marriage healthy and alive. I believe it’s one of the greatest gifts you can give your child.
BTW – I love your blog. I have been following it throughout your (and my) pregnancy and have experience SO many of the same things as you have. It is so refreshing to read and I appreciate your honesty.
Thank you! My husband and I have a vacation planned next month. We have a 5 month old. I really wanted some time alone with my husband. I think it is important both for my sanity ( I need to get out of the house) and for our marriage. Yet, whenever I mention that we were going away without my darling baby girl, people made me feel guilty to being excited about it. I agree … in the long run it is really good for all of us.
Make sure you get away as much as possible now because it only gets tougher. The twins fuss when we leave, but Adia… oh my. She has total break downs. She panics if I even mention the word date, even though the last time I was talking about a date WITH her.
Glad you enjoyed your time away.
You won’t believe this … but I was the drunk “unlikely messenger” that night at H@TM!!!!! I can’t believe this! I saw your tweet pop up about your post pregnancy weight and I read your post … I scanned down your latest posts and saw the one on drunk marriage advice (thinking you were drunk when you wrote it LOL) and my jaw dropped as I read your post! You guys are as cute as can be and I’m so glad to hear you had a wonderful weekend with your hubby (you deserve it). The next day I actually told my husband what we talked about and he said he too feels lucky that we get time alone without kids and that he’ll try really hard to remember that the time we have alone is for “us” to reconnect after focusing on our kids so much. I promise you I still live by my very own (drunk LOL) advice. I’m proud of you … great blog BTW. Let me know if I can ever help you online (I promise no more drunk marriage advice! LOL). *huGs* Suzanne