What exactly is too long for company to be in town, specifically when said company is staying at your house?
I think a week. Max.
Anything more than that brings out frustrations & annoyances & I can’t promise that I will bit my tongue on any given situation. And this week’s worth of time is not just limited to my in-laws, although I can’t imagine anyone else asking to stay for longer than a week.
The first few days were just fine. But after the fourth day I became irritated very easily. Why? Well, to me, I think that people should have some sort of idea of space & not just leave their stuff wherever they please. We have plenty of room in our house, yet my father-in-law feels entitled to completely occupy my dining room table AND kitchen island with random crap.
Since having Monkey I like for things to be where they belong. I like things to be clean & I will admit that I’m a bit anal. I guess it’s better than having a messy house, but that’s not really the point. The point is that I’m shocked that someone would stay in a house that is not theirs, but act like it is. Of course I can’t say anything because my father-in-law is a bit, uh, sensitive.
So I do the next best thing: I tell my husband to tell his dad. LOL.
I try not to let things get to me, but they inevitably do. When people get around babies it’s like they forget everything that they previously knew was right/wrong.
For example, yesterday I was sitting in the living room & my father-in-law was holding Monkey. I kept looking over just to see Monkey & I noticed that my father-in-law had his fingers in Monkey’s mouth. I mean, really?! I wanted to ask him if I could just put my fingers in his mouth, you know, for fun, but I didn’t.
Next thing I knew his fingers were out of Monkey’s mouth, so I thought that my father-in-law regained his knowing the proper thing to do & not to do.
Wrong.
I looked over there again & saw that he had his fingers in Monkey’s mouth. Seriously, what is wrong with some people? My grandmother puts her fingers in Monkey’s mouth, but I chalk that up to the fact that she has Alzheimer’s & doesn’t know any better. My father-in-law should know better. Especially since he smokes. Ew.
(Don’t even get me started on the whole smoking thing. It’s a very sore spot within myself.)
I said, “Would you please not put your fingers in Monkey’s mouth?” Then he looked embarrassed. I’m sure I could have said it in a nicer way, or just told Monkey something like, “Monkey, fingers are gross & you shouldn’t eat them”.
But I didn’t because I’m a mom to one child, not two… And one of those “children” should have known what not to do.
Needless to say, my father-in-law was very weird to me for the whole rest of the day. No joke. But I couldn’t worry about that because it’s not my job to make sure that my father-in-law isn’t embarrassed. Know what I mean?
Deep down, I know that my FIL means well & I know that I should ease up, but like I said, a week of staying with us is just fine. Anything more & I can’t promise that I’ll be on my best behavior… it’s just too long of a time.
And you can bet your bottom dollar that I’m counting the days down until it’s just me, Monkey, and Tarzan again. Three more days…
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Completely understand! My in-laws have just left us after another of their frequent visits. They live interstate, a 4hr plane trip away and visit 2 - 3 times a year for a week to 10 days. We have been married for 9 years and initially they would stay for weekd on end but I thought that would end after we got married and had kids. Well I have finally gotten them to limit their visits for 1 week max. Or so I thought. The last time they came we said that would be great to see them for a week but they actually stayed 10 days. This annoyed me as we specifically told them 1 week and they didn't respect our boundaries but we let it slide. This time round they just announced that they were coming to Sydney for 3 weeks and gave us the dates and told us to sort out between us and their other son and his wife where they would stay. Rude!!! They didn't even ask if we had any plans or whether it was OK to stay with them. They just booked the flights without even asking. So we said come and stay with us the first week which included Christmas to spend time with the kids. We then went camping for a week so they stayed at their other sons house while we were away. But then they came back to us for this last week and I must say it was complete torture as I was over seeing them and all the fun I had away was completely lost upon my return. They are lovely people but I think it is just plain rude to stay any longer then a week. I enjoy their company for about 3-4 days but then I have had enough. I have 4 kids under 7 so think it is great that they spend time with our kids and I want then to have a close bond but I still think it is far too long. 1 week MAX!! While they are here they just take over my space and have no sense of privacy for my husband and I. They want to know everything and comment on everything from the type of toothpaste we use to the cost of the TV etc. They drive me crazy!! They help out around the house and play with the kids but this is hardly a justification for being allowed to stay any longer. They don't even do anything but just sit around all day long. They say they don't need to be entertained but don't realise how their very presence is intruding in itself. This causes so much friction between my husband and I because I get so tired and resentful having them in my house 24/7 while my husband is at work while I am also looking after our 4 kids. I am always so relieved and excited when they leave after every visit. The thing that annoys me the most is just as they are leaving they will say something like "see you in June as usual" or "see you back at Christmas time". This is so irritating as it means they are running my schedule as they book their lives so far in advance which means we are locked into their visits whenever it suits them. We don't like our lives organised like this. If we want to go away during school holiday time we can't do this because they have already booked their trips way in advance and it would be mean for us to purposely plan to go away after they had already planned to visit us. If it was a 1 off thing I could cope but as they are teachers they plan to visit us year after year after year during their holiday times - June, maybe September and then December. What is the solution??? Would be interested in others' thoughts.
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