One of my biggest fears when I was pregnant was hoping that I would not become that mom who only talked about her child. Honestly. I was scared out of my mind that my days would be consumed with changing diapers, not having much in common with old friends, feeding bottles, rinse, & repeat.
Isn’t it funny that I have become the very same person that I thought I didn’t want to be?! I suppose it’s just inevitably for priorities to shift & for sacrifices to be made. I’ll admit, when I talk to a friend without a baby & she tells me how busy she is, I want to giggle. Now I’m not necessarily doubting her busyness, but I just want to say, “You think you are busy now… Just wait.”
But I don’t because I know that she won’t understand & I’ll just come across as a bitch. I just keep my mouth shut because I know that’s best.
There’s another friend that I would consider one of my closet friends & she hasn’t even met Monkey. When we talk on the phone she rarely asks about him, or even mentions his name. I’m not going to lie – It used to hurt my feelings that she hadn’t even met my son, but now I just realize that some things change after a baby enters the picture.
And honestly I’m so okay with that.
It’s okay that she hasn’t met Monkey because she probably sees it as a boring time. I think I would have been the same way too. When you don’t have a baby, you just don’t know or understand. She probably thinks, “What in the hell will we be doing? Changing diapers & talking baby talk? No thanks!”
And that’s why you meet other friends that are going through the same things. I feel so lucky (& proud of myself too) for branching out & making other “mommy” friends. Not too sound too cheesy right now, but my life feels complete.
Really, it does.
I have my new friends to talk to about baby stuff if we want, but also to go out with as well. Like tomorrow, I’m meeting some for a girl’s night out & I couldn’t be happier.
Having a baby does change lots of stuff, but not in the awful way that I thought it would. I’ve really come into my own. Sure, my old friends will always be there, but my new friends are what I need in my life right now. They understand the place that I’m in & we are going through this new mother stuff together. And I’m having a good ole time doing it all!
You might also want to read:
- Missing out on a bachelorette party because of my baby? Me? Really?!
- Baby registries and other ramblings from a mom-to-be
- If only I could go back in time, how I wish those moments after labor & delivery with Monkey were different
- Past memory of postpartum depression, breastfeeding Monkey, & my dog
- 10 ways our baby has told me how much he loves me and how to tell if your baby loves you!
I am so glad you wrote this. Lately I have felt the exact same way, but about my sister. We were always very close...until my son (8 months old) was born. I had this picture in my head of how it would be. That she would be over all the time helping out, and I thought she would be very excited about her nephew. I was wrong. She has literally only seen him a handful of times (which is a drastic change...I used to see her about once a week!), NEVER asks about him when we do talk on the phone (which isn't much these days). Its almost like she resents him, and it has really hurt me these past 8 months.
However, I am learning to accept that things have just changed between us. Having a child really does change your life, and you as a person. He is the most important thing in my life right now, and I guess if you don't have children (like my sister) its difficult to understand and relate. That is why we tend to find friends with similar interests, and like you, I find myself drawn much more to my other mommy friends these days. They don't get annoyed when I talk about my son...and they just 'get it'!
In any case, thanks for this post. Its nice to hear that I am not the only one going through this!
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