In serious need of help for Monkey’s naptime

When my son started screaming at bedtime, we tried a gentle cry it out, and it worked within 2-3 days. He was 14 months at the time.

I don't think it's wrong to follow a crib routine, and I think its healthy for him to know how to fall asleep on his own.

Now if we hear him crying in his crib we know something is wrong, he's wet/sick/in pain, not just bored, mad, or lonely.

While I have respect for the fact that everyone has their own opinion, I just thought I'd add my 2 cents: I have been reading one of those “classic baby training” books about sleep. I am wondering WHY, exactly, is it so important that a completely dependent young infant sleep by himself all alone in his crib? I mean, even a hundred or so years ago this would certainly mean death to an infant from cold or whatnot.

Not to bore anyone with a history lesson, but the whole nursery idea started with royalty. The queen was not allowed to nurse or tend to her baby because then she would be fertile sooner to become pregnant with another heir to the kingdom sooner. It was important to produce many heirs because infant mortality was so high in those days. But even then, the royal children had a substitute mother (wet-nurse) who breastfed and tended to the youngster exclusively.

As society became wealthier, people looked up to royalty to set the standard of living and they copied the nursery idea (minus the wet-nurse’s TLC). In the post-industrial world, marketing caught onto the trend and set out to advertise all the nursery products in order to take a piece of the financial pie. They’ve even convinced us that toys are a better substitute than interacting with our babies when in fact that is completely untrue. The human face, through interaction, can transmit and reinforce more neuronal signals than any toy ever could. They’ve taught us to keep our babies in sight but out of touch in infant carrier car seats, strollers, activity centers, cribs, and bouncers. Brands that make formula try to sabotage breastfeeding by making cheaper models of breast pumps which, oh dear! Do not work and thus ends up terminating the breastfeeding attempts of the mother. (That is one reason I ONLY buy breastfeeding accessories made by companies who have nothing to do with formulas or bottle manufacturing).

To help us deal with all of the “issues” that babies develop from being practically neglected, psychology (hint #1-WHY does a baby even NEED a psychologist in the first place?) jumped on board and invented a variety of baby training methods. Of coarse, “good parents” jumped on board and ignorantly dived head-first into the methods without even taking a moment to really question the benifit of doing it in the first place. They’ve even gone as far as to interfere with a mother’s natural instinct and states that it is actually acceptable to purposely allow a baby to cry when they are scared and alone in their cribs. It’s infuriating!

Anyhow, I am reading this “reference” book that I am sure many a parent devoured without blinking an eye. Here are a few shocking examples:

“Ella won’t go to sleep without her special blanket. I am so glad that she finds comfort in her comfort object.”

Ok…seriously…there is a hint that baby is feeling neglected. WHY does a child form an emotional attachment to an OBJECT which does absolutely nothing to help it’s overall survival? (Yes, despite all of our “advancements”, there are very few neurological differences between a pre-linguistic, primitive baby and a pre-linguistic modern one). They actually warn parents against becoming your baby’s comfort object! WHY are parents supposed to teach their children to prefer inanimate objects over real human beings??? It is your child- QUESTION IT!

(and we wonder why we all of a sudden have a society full of materialistic children and adults? Why we have shopping addictions where people spend senseless in order to fulfill an emotional void???)

“My 7-month old bangs his head against the crib as he goes to sleep. Is this normal?”

Um….I hate to say it, but this is NOT a sign of an emotionally well-adjusted child but instead a product of an “early independence baby training” method.

The actual answer, I’m paraphrasing here, “A small percentage of babies {using this method} develop a habit of banging their heads against their cribs, or indulge in rhythmic activity, such as rocking themselves to sleep. While it may look alarming, this is not usually a sign that anything is wrong…If baby isn’t bruising himself, don’t worry.”

Really parents? Are you just so proud that baby is completely maladjusted enough to bang his head or forms a relationship with and prefers to be comforted by an inanimate object instead of a human being??? But baby can cry himself to sleep all by himself! Congrats parents! What a splendid job you’ve done.

HI Jane, Im going to take a shot at it and say that your son has missed you so much during the time that you left for vegas that he doesnt want to be away from you.. even if it just for nap time. Hopefully once you start back into your routine for a few days (possibly more) he will realise that your not going anywhere again and he will slip back into the routine. He is just trying as hard as he can to spend time with you and I think he is willing to sacrifice his much needed nap in order to do so.

They start cutting their nap times down drastically as they get older. My 25 month old has been napping only 1 x per day for almost a year now & now he's starting to cut that out too!

sounds like some separation anxiety to me. we went away for the weekend and the twins have been horrible when it comes to sleeping. they think mommy's going to disappear again. Mira doesn't want me out of her sight at all.

My 6-month old is starting to try to get us to let him get up from his crib, even when he needs a nap. I find it easiest for us (and every child is different, obviously) to eat, rock in the rocking chair, then I tell him I'm going to give him a kiss and set him down. So I do. I tried staying in the room with him, but he screamed (trying to get me to pick him up) and wouldn't stop. I left the room and told him I'd be back in 5 minutes if he was still upset. It was very hard, but he calmed down after only a few minutes. We know it was a tactic because we kept very quiet until he calmed down, then my husband went to the bathroom and accidentally made some noise. He started right up screaming again for about 3 seconds, then stopped, and when no one came in, he went to sleep.
He still cries quietly for about 2-4 minutes now, but after that first time he figured out that I wasn't going to pick him up when it's time for a nap, and he's fine with it.
I am NOT a CIO advocate by any means but there is such a thing as a little discipline once the baby is able to try to manipulate you (and my son is already... >.<).

hmmm sounds like his routine has been broken... We are having the same issue but with night time sleeping... She is teething really bad that is not helping at all but i think most of it we went on a interstate trip a fews weeks ago and I have struggled to regain control of sleep ever since then.... on top of it my partnet is on cructchers due to a foot indury and can not walk so it is up to me to everything argghhh

I'd ask your mom what she did at naptime and bedtime. Did you put him down for a nap at your mom's and than leave for the weekend? He may have it in his head that if he goes down for a nap that when he wakes up, ya'll won't be there any more. If that's the case, it'll just take a while for him to see that you will be there when he wakes up. If she did something different to get him to sleep, he may just be wanting that.

I don't really have any advice. But my little one recently started doing something similar at bedtime. The minute after she finishes her sippy of milk before bed and I start to bring her upstairs she starts freaking out. She then holds onto me for dear life, like she's terrified to be in there. I don't really do anything, just put her down, walk out and let her cry it out. If she doesn't start self-soothing within 5 minutes, I'll go in and rub her back or worst case take her out and rock her. Now that she knows I'm not going to run in there and "save" her she doesn't cry for too long. I think it's just another change in your baby. I don't think anything is wrong necessarily, but Monkey is just changing.

How did your Mom put Monkey down for his naps while you were gone? Did she do anything differently? What about bedtime? Is he d0ing the same thing? Maybe it's the change in routine that's throwing him off? Any chance he's teething? Teething is the root of all evil and seems to throw ALL sleep out of whack. At least at our household (where it's already permanently out of whack it seems.)

oh that sucks! does he have the same kind of reaction to bedtime? have you asked your parents if there was anything that happened? sorry i don't have any advice but i feel your pain!