There are less than 2 weeks left until Monkey’s 1st birthday party & I’m quite emotional about it. I have been super excited about his birthday party because I was so into figuring out the decorations, menu, presents, etc… But when I started to actually think about him getting older, moving from “baby” to “toddler”, I became a mess.
An emotional mess.
I started fast-forwarding to a few years down the road when he won’t just come up to me & give me kisses. To the time when I drop him off at school & he shies away from hugging me because he’s too embarrassed. To the time when I won’t be his whole world & he’ll choose playing with his friends more than me. Then driving & being a wreck about anything happening to him. To wondering if he’s drinking or doing drugs at parties, all while hoping & praying that I brought him up in the right way to decline on those two things. To him going off to college. To him meeting a girl. Getting married. Dancing with me at his wedding. And then being a mother-in-law to someone that hopefully likes me & wants to hang out with me.
Oh man, I tell you, I’m a mess.
(I fully realize how crazy it may sound that I’m already thinking about my son getting married. When I told Tarzan about this & even had tears in my eyes, he thought I was kind of crazy. He has a point, but I think a mom might think about stuff a little different than a dad. Or maybe I’m just crazy. Who knows.)
Monkey needs me now & I know a time will come when everything will change. I know that I can’t hold on to my baby forever, but he’s just growing up so fast. A lot faster than I ever imagined.
And it really makes me so sad on one hand, but on the other, it’s really excited to see him growing up & exploring so much. He’s such a curious little boy & wants to know about everything. I saw a video on You Tube this morning & I loved it. I loved that it made me take a step back & think about how much I love this time in my life. It also made me cry like a little baby, so consider yourself warned!
Sure there are times when I get frustrated or feel like I could sleep for 3 more hours in the morning, but I’m not taking anything for granted. Babies aren’t babies for a long time & I’m so blessed that I was chosen to be Monkey’s mom. I love him more than anything & in the “harder” times I remind myself of this. I’m cherishing the times, good & bad, because I know that they will pass so fast.
Gone within a blink of an eye really.
Cherish your babies & enjoy this time together. It goes by so quickly & before you know it, your baby will be all grown up & you will wonder where the time went.
You might also want to read:
- Planning Monkey’s first birthday party
- Furniture shopping on Christmas Eve: A tale of two monkeys
- 13 weeks pregnant: Still feeling good!
- Ho, Ho, Ho: Christmas Traditions
- A note to my child who is currently living in my wife’s pregnant belly.
Okay so this is the second stupid time I watched this stupid video and cried these stupid ugly tears!!!!!! I am mad at myself for falling for it again:-(. As I approached my daughter's first birthday and watch her in amazement and wonder, I can't help but to feel that it is all going WAY WAY WAY too fast. I can't hold her enough, I can't soak in THIS moment enough, no wait THIS moment....OR THIS moment....I need to hold them all, but are my arms big enough today?
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