Easy like Sunday morning

Wow, some of the comments on this post are completely off-base to me. If Jane can't vent about wanting some "me-time" on her own blog, then I don't know what the point of blogging is. Do you seek out a blog about parenting just to see someone say how easy it is all the time? That doesn't seem very reasonable--or honest.

And I applaud Maey's comment about handing the baby to the father and locking the door. I'm pregnant and plan to work full-time after the baby is born. Her father and I plan to equally share parenting responsibilities. I realize that there are other ways of splitting up childcare, and those are equally valid as long as they work. If someone doesn't feel like they can have five minutes to themselves one day a week, it's not working. (Though it sounds like, in this case, Jane has a good balance planned out, it just doesn't always work because life gets messy, and when it does, she should be able to vent about it!)

Am I the only one finding any of the commenters suggestions about needing to wait for a second child highly innapropriate? She's venting for christ sake! And its none of your business! I can't believe anyone on here thinks they have the right to tell jane she isn't ready for a second baby. Shame on you.

I'm sorry your Sunday morning got screwed up jane. I get pissy when my off morning gets messed up too. Well,I don't really get to sleep in but I want my off night where I don't have to get up with him every hour or so. (Is there some sort of 9 month sleep regression I don't know about?)

Glad he is feeling better, but sorry to hear it did not help with his sleeping. That is a horrible feeling to know that he will be up again just when you get him down. One thing I can't do is share my bed with my boys. It's just too much, so I feel for you! I read some of the other comments and I can't believe that some of the others don't understand needing a few minutes to yourself. My hubby and I take turns sleeping in on the weekends too and it is wonderful. There is nothing at all wrong with stealing a few peaceful mornings.

Hi Mindy! I'm glad you are enjoying my blog :) As far as sleep goes, I wish I had a better answer... My son's sleep is just as bad, even though his ear infection has cleared right up. He still has some teeth coming in, but Motrin, Tylenol, Orajel, & Hylands Teething Tablets do not seem to help. If we are lucky, once he goes to sleep, we'll get about 2 hours of free time. Usually he wakes up within 1 hour though. There is no pattern of when he wakes up & we are getting tired of this, as he is too I'm sure.

Thanks for asking :)

Hi Jane,
Just started reading your blog tonight. I was just reading your few newest blogs and was wondering if he started sleeping thru the night now that his ear infection is better. My youngest has had a few over the years and that is usually the first sign (waking in the middle of the night). Enjoying your blog so far.

I don't mean this in a bad way, since I love to read your blog, but I think you lead a charmed life. You really do. Maybe you're even a bit spoiled. You've had so many (compared to me) nights/days/trips away from your little guy- you even have your mother taking him for a night here and there! Awesome, and you're a lucky girl!
When you were saying how your husband left you alone to go on a business trip I laughed to myself- my husband is a military pilot and when he IS home to help out AT ALL, it's a miracle. I've been single parenting A LOT because of his job.
And we live far, far away from our families being military, and I've only had one night away from my daughter. Ever.
So all I'm saying is... keep venting... in fact I'm jealous you have "a day" to yourself and so much help. Lucky girl. Count your blessings! :)

What you just described has been my life since my monkey was born last July. He has never slept and I am always on duty day and night. The longest I have been away from him is two hours in a stretch. I hope you Monkey gets back to normal soon and my monkey takes after your monkey one day!

The only time I get "time off" is when I'm sick (usually when I have a horrible migraine). My hubby complains and whines and is pissed off the eintire time while I am throwing up in the toliet. So just sayin... be grateful for what you have. I wish my hubby was as nice as Tarzan.

I'vw \eread thru most of the comments some funny, some ppl needlessly harsh and some mom's need their men to step it up a notch. i've been thru both sides of the coin with my partner. We usually let one another sleep in on the weekends. One weekend I may get Saturday and the next I get sunday. Then I've heard him say "you don't work, your at home all day blah, blah, blah"

I hate that once your "awake" you can't get back to sleep. so I get it. I am going to weigh in here so please do not take this the wrong way but from my experience 12-24 months is tiring in different aspects and teething will throw all routines to hell. I couldn't imagine being pregnant and dealing with a toddler. (My toddler and I are up at 1:40 am because is sick and went to bed early which was a long nap in his eyes) You may want to consider waiting a wee bit longer for the 2nd child. I always applauded you in my mind for putting monkey on a schedule, and thought it may have helped the sleep factor, but a second might be completely different and up every hour. None of my business at all, just think of yourself and what's best for you and your family at this time. I know women do it who are a lot stronger than me. but I couldn't fathom it when my son was 1.

First of all jane, I totally feel you here. After getting up with my twins at the break of everyday, i totally look forward to the weekend when my husband's home. It's just nice to re-charge and start over. I think we as moms just naturally jump in and take responsibility for the babes all the time. It gets frustrating that men just don't seem to have that same instinct. Can't tell you how many times I've been pissy when my husband just decides that he's going to lay down and take a nap....assuming that I've got everything under control. He's great otherwise, but I completely agree, you need a little re-charge time to keep going.....that, and the previously acknowledged box of wine! Hang in there sister...

Paige

Oh how I feel for you. I've been following your blog for months now. I also dealt [or still am?] with PPD so I feel like I can relate to you. My 7 month old daughter just finished sleep training and we finally got rid of the last wake up and then she up and caught a cold 2 nights ago. We had family in town and my husband's aunt kept trying to pick my daughter up in the middle of the night when she woke up (I actually walked into her room once and found the aunt carrying my daughter over her shoulder....GRR) so that night for the first time in months we co-slept. I didn't realize completely how much I enjoy sleeping in my bed without my daughter there. I didn't realize that even though I was asleep, it was part of my "alone time". With her there I felt like I didn't get a break once morning came. Luckily last night went better since the family members went back home but I'm still watching my daughters symptoms waiting for her to be back to her old self. I love that Tarzan gives you every Sunday morning to look forward to. My husband doesn't have a totally consistent schedule but since he always gets 2 days off a week I let him pick one of those days to name as "my day off". So on his day off he picks what either we all do, or just him by himself - while I take care of our daughter just like any other day. Then on MY day off - I chose what we do, and he takes care of her most of the day. Sometimes I pitch in because I start to miss her even though I'm still right there with her.

Truly hope things get better for the 3 of you - soon!

I feel for you. My husband and I split up the weekends so we each get one day to sleep in. And I hate when I lose that morning for some reason. That's what happened on Mothers Day and I'm still angry about it.
And I'm surprised you're getting so much flack in these comments about wanting some me time each week. You're certainly due for some. I think every mom is. And for me at least, those moments alone to recharge are what make me a better mom. Hang in there and maybe set some ground rules with the hubby as to when he's allowed to wake you up on Sundays.

WTH is wrong with some of you women? Stand up for yourselves! Hand the baby to your husband, then go take a shower/take a nap/read/whatever you need to do. If he tries to bring the baby in, tell him to leave, then lock the door. Just because you're a mom does not mean you're a doormat! Jane, you don't be a doormat either! Your husband can watch the baby while you workout, sleep, exercise, whatever.

I can relate to this! My husband is great about USUALLY letting me sleeping in either Saturday or Sunday, but once a month he's out of town, and sometimes we have morning plans, and sometimes I just can't go back to sleep no matter how hard I try...so it really only works out like once every other weekend or so.

Julian has never slept through the night, but he came dang close for a while...and I felt GREAT, so I know what it's like to go from that to this (which we are currently going through as well). It's hard to know what you're giving up...and these days I dread bedtime as well because I really only get an hour or two in before the first wakeup, and then it just continues all night long. It's exhausting. I had to laugh about the lotion thing - my skin is practically cracking for the same reason!! It's pathetic, but even something as simple as that takes too much time that I just don't have.

It'll get better. This is what I tell myself.

Ha! Jane, your post made me laugh. I had something quite similar this morning. Good for you and Tarzan for having an agreement like this, even if it doesn't always work out perfectly. It's a good example for other moms (and maybe dads) who don't think they deserve to ask for "me time" - everyone deserves a few minutes to themselves.

Keep up the good work, Jane!

Jane I know i know i know.... My man suffers from major depression and anxiety.... So I try not to put to much pressure on him as he does not cope well with stress and high pressure situations ... It hard to balance getting him to do more with out pushing him over the edge.... He is finally off medication and doing well.... I know the situation is not Ideal and some times it is really hard.. but he is the man I fell in love with and nothing will change that... He works very hard to provide for us and is a lovng caring man he just lacks in the helping out dept...

- Lauren, My man does the same thing, I ask him to watch her while i have a shower and with in 5 mins he is there with her saying she wanted to say hello to mummy... Well Mummy wants... Sorry I should say NEEDS at least 1 day a week where I can shower on my own... normally I have to out her in her cot (we live in a small small flat and her room has the ensuit in it..) so I have to play peek a boo with her from the shower..

Oh Peta, I'm so sorry to hear that. I've read way to many things online about other moms that you in your same situation, which is probably why I was adamant on having Sundays to sleep in. Plus, I figure both T & I work & he gets to sleep in on Saturday & I have Sunday. It's fair.

Have you tried talking to your partner about how you need a little more help from him? Maybe that would help the situation. I can't imagine doing everything & being pregnant. It's too much for one person.

My husband does a lot & I'm so grateful so I hate to seem like I'm bitching but I just think that it's only fair to "share" things on the weekends.

& you definitely need to schedule your follow-up appointment, girl!! I hope you get some rest & that things get a bit easier for you! :)

Jane - I do not know what that time is at all.. My partner never gets up to the baby ever... yesterday morning... I got up after being up several times with the baby and sighed maybe one daddy will get up and get her.. he responded by i have a couple of times...

I am so bloody tired he does not get it at all... Baby girl has never really sleept through the night....

I have mentioned countless times that we both need to have atleast one morning where we can sleep in but seems he is the onyl one that gets that... because I only work todays a week he thinks I have it easy...

and now that i am pregnant again my tiredness has increased what feels like 1 million %

Make sure you are tough with Tarzan and get your 1 mornign sleep in.. I am too soft and I am paying for it big time.... I dont have any energy to exercise, make my self look pretty or any of that crap.. Hec I have even been too tired to make my followup apoitment after my ultrasound 2 weeks ago.. the house looks like a bomb hit it and i just dont care lol

Jackie & RMB - Maybe y'all should talk to your husbands/partners about having a morning off every once & a while. I really look forward to it :)

Lauren - Oh man, I know exactly what you mean. I just think that guys don't really get it & I mean that in the nicest way possible. I think they think they are being cute & sweet by bringing in the baby when we are having me time, when really we just want a break from everyone, baby included. I guess we should count our blessings that we have great partners in all of this craziness!

Victoria - I know I don't want a job, but that particular day that I was having was just awful. Like anything, there are good times & bad times. I'm usually super thankful that I get to stay at home with my baby, but the trying times do make it hard at times.

Suzanne - Funny that you mention going away... A few girlfriends (all moms) & I were planning on getting a hotel in downtown Houston for a night away, but plans fell through. We are still planning on doing it in a month or so. I know that a little time away will make me a better mom & a better wife as well. Thanks for your thoughts :)

Jen - Really?! If you took away from my post that spending 2 extra minutes with my son was unbearable, well then you totally misunderstood what I wrote. I don't want my son to go away; I want 5 minutes to myself occasionally. & sorry to burst your bubble, but having a child or children does not mean that every single day is awesome. I'm so thankful for my baby & I feel blessed that I am his mom, but after hearing him being cranky & fuss, I've reached my limit. & you know what? That's normal.

If you think I've lost my fun just because I want my happy baby back, my bed to myself with my husband, & to sleep in one morning out of the week, well that's all you. & you can totally stop reading this not-so-fun blog. :)

Oh & I certainly don't need your opinion on whether or not I should have a 2nd child. Thanks.

i think you need to be counting your blessings. How long would it really take him to pee....two minutes. I ask my man to watch the baby so I can pee five mornings a week when the baby gets up and if he said no to me I can think of alot of things I'd be saying. You could be alot worse off and it's extremely clear that your husband is trying. I think you still got your morning in bed...you definitely shouldnt' have the second you said you were thinking about because you're totally not ready. The title on this blog says something about fun and unique...but you've lost your fun! You should be talking about how awesome it is you each get 1 morning to sleep in and telling funny stories about the little man instead of complaining about being asked to spend two minutes more with him than you wish. Kids don't go away, their needs don't go away. especially as babies!!!

As soon as Baby Evan was able to get up in the mornings without nursing, I turned over Sundays to my husband too. It's GLORIOUS not to get out of bed and immediately have to deal with a needy child - even if I technically get to sleep in later than my husband on most weekdays there's nothing like getting to pee and brush my teeth without a child in my lap once every 7 days.

Can I suggest going away, husbandless AND childless, for a weekend? I did it a few weeks ago and even though the trip was totally NOT relaxing (12 hour drive each way for only 20 hours there) it was such a vacation from motherhood. Needing a break doesn't mean you don't love your kid or love your husband or love you life - it's totally normal. Even if you can't manage a whole weekend, try for a night and a morning. Just one.

Yeah, I'm going to have to agree with the ladies above. I don't get that "me time" very often. But, I can also see how you'd be mad, because my husband has done that to me before, too.
I totally feel ya on the sleeping stuff. My husband has sleep apnea so we sleep apart because he snores, and so I often bring the little guy to bed with me. He wakes up several times a night, and I'm so tired of having to get out of bed to get him. It makes you so tired and drained from the moment you get up. :/
You don't want a job. Believe me. I have a 15 hr/wk job at a coffee shop (every morning, 3 hours x 5 days) and it just makes things harder. More responsibility. :/

That being said, be encouraged. All kids sleep through the night eventually. We just have to hang on for that day.

Man can I relate. I get this on the rare weekend my partner doesn't work weekends. Like say I ask him to watch our daughter while I take a bath. Somehow he thinks it'd be fun to bring in E to say hi to Mama while she's in the bath. Yeah. I see the kid all week while you're at work babe. Mama needs to recharge.

I'm jealous that you guys even made a plan like that. My husband wouldn't ever even agree to that. He works all week, I do in home daycare all week. I'm breastfeeding so I'm up at night too. Weekends are always his to sleep in, ya know... he worked all week..... Cuz I did nothing right?! In his eyes anyway. I have 3 boys, 2 with him so I'm just used to it.

at least you get a morning off. i dont. my husband does work all week, and he sleeps in on the weekends. so im watching my child 24/7 alone pretty much. oh and he co sleeps with us everynight, and he hasnt slept through the night yet (going on 1 year)..