Mommy Friends.
We all need ‘em to talk to. To bitch to. To ask questions. To make sure that we are doing this whole mom thing right. To be around another adult that you can actually carry on a conversation with.
Mom friends are IMPORTANT.
Surprisingly making mom friends has been pretty easy for me… but I’ve had to sift through some, um, weird ones to get to the ones that I really like.
Not being someone who wanted to stay home all of the time with Monkey, I sat out to meet other moms & join mommy groups. Who in the world knew how complicated some of these mommy groups were?! Seriously. Besides filling out your application, there were rules.
“You must attend at least two playdates a month or you will be kicked out.”
“You must wear the xyz shirt & carry a balloon so we know who you are.” (Not even kidding on this one.)
“You must go through an initial period where you are not part of the group. We will need to meet you & then decide if you are a right “fit” for our group.”
Mommy groups are no joke.
Anyways, I passed all of the tests & found one group that I love. The people are great & I’ve made some wonderful friends. But I’m not here to blog about those awesome people.
Instead I’m going to tell you about one girl in particular. Let’s call her “Gina”.
I met Gina in March at a daily exercise thing I was doing. After seeing someone everyday you become friendly. We exchanged phone numbers & were Facebook buddies. I was excited to have a new friend! Like I mentioned, we saw each other daily, but never outside of this exercise thing.
Then I arranged a mom’s night out & she joined me & a few other ladies. We started at a Tapas Bar & it was a really fun time. She is SO much more reserved than I am, but that wasn’t a big deal to me. Anyways, she left us early to go home while we stayed out. I thought nothing of it & had a good night.
Then things got weird.
I invited her & her son out to lunch. To the Children’s Museum. To the zoo. To the mall play area. To our house. & nothing. She had crazy excuses each time, including my personal favorite “I’m disinfecting my house today”. Ohhh really?!
I stopped going to the exercise thing because it interfered with Monkey’s morning nap. We both stopped texting each other & naturally I stopped inviting her out because she always said no… er, I mean she always had a crazy reason.
Oh, I should add that the very few times we did make plans, she would always contact me right before we would supposed to hang out & ask to “reschedule”. Every damn time.
Anyways, the final straw was Monkey’s party. She RSVPed that her family would be there, so I planned on them being there. That means food, cupcakes, & the personalized party favor for her son. Literally the day before his party I get a text saying that she won’t be able to attend.
Her in-laws were surprisingly them with a visit, she texted. I texted her back that she could bring the in-laws. The more the merrier. She said no. She asked if she could give Monkey’s present to another girl in our exercise class. I told her she was going to class. She asked if she could bring it over instead. OK fine, I texted.
She dropped the gift off & it was a little awkward between us. In my mind I already wrote her off just because she could never commit to anything & that’s annoying. I get that we have kids & can’t always commit, but this girl never committed.
So the part that bothered me was that I don’t remember doing anything to piss her off. I was always nice to her & invited her places. She would confide in me about how her checking account would be overdrawn, so I’m thinking she didn’t have too much extra money to spend… But remember, I did invite her over to play with Monkey’s toys at our house. It’s free.
& the zoo is free because we are members. & the same goes for the Children’s Museum actually. So it just doesn’t add up.
Well at Monkey’s party a mutual friend of ours made some comment about Gina not being at the party. I didn’t say anything, but just said that something came up. Our friend had a funny smirk on her fact & I asked her if she knew something that I didn’t know.
Apparently Gina had told our friend at an exercise class that after she went out with us, going out just wasn’t her thing. She said that she would much rather hang out with her husband & son than to go out with friends. (This is super weird to me, by the way. I love my husband & adore my son, but good grief, I need a break from them too.)
So I still don’t totally get what happened to our friendship. I guess we are just very different people.
What about y’all? Have any funny stories of a friendship gone sour? Or joining a mommy group?
You might also want to read:
- Being real with therapy, postpartum depression, family, & friends
- Pregnant thoughts about non-pregnant friends
- Glucose 1 hour test when pregnant: To fast or not to fast?
- Postpartum Exercise + Flabby Baby Weight = A LONG Way To Go!
- Mommy instinct – I have it!
Maybe the friendship just wasn't meant to be. But had it been me that was in your shoes, I'd be annoyed too!
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