Friday, October 31, 2014

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The Aftermath of Parents Leaving Town

by Tarzan · 2 comments

My father and I talk on the phone usually 2 times per week – plus we have our usual “Skype” visits so he and my step mother can talk and interact with Monkey.

But since they left, he’s been calling me daily – even two times a day checking in on Monkey.

For example, I spent a good part of the day with Monkey.  Just me and Monkey.  My father had called to see what our plans were.  The park?  The mall?  Play at home?  I told him we’d be going to the park.

Well, little did I know that Monkey had his own plans.  Monkey actually wanted to go on a park tour!  We went to three different parks yesterday and Monkey wore me out!

My father called in the evening and asked what we did and if we had fun.  He also asked to be put on speakerphone so he could talk to Monkey, which I did.  After a minute or so Monkey started talking, saying “Gram Pa!” and many of the usual Monkey words (he says a LOT of words now!).  But soon after Monkey became sad because I had to take the phone away from him because he was pressing all of the buttons and I was afraid he’d hang up.

My father called again this morning to see how the night went.  Admiringly, he confessed he really wishes he was there to spend time with Monkey and was jealous that I got to spend a good part of the day and all night.  Just me and my Monkey.

I can tell my father misses him SOOOO much.  His calling doesn’t bother me.  Not at all.  But what does bother me is that neither he nor I have the resources to get them moved closer to us.  Makes me sad.  It’s tough.

My father has a lot of health issues and there is nothing more than I want than to have them closer to us so he can spend a lot of time with Monkey.  It’s important.  I never knew either of my grandfathers.  And I’m so happy that Monkey has had the opportunity to get to know “Gram Pa!”

It was great having them with us for about 2 weeks.  They got to have a TON of Monkey time – and I mean a ton.  They built a great relationship with our little guy.  Just more fuel for my fire to get things going business-wise in hopes I will be able to get them closer to us.

Now I’m not talking living next door or anything – but you know, even 5 mins away would be nice.

Life can be complicated sometimes after you have a baby, you know?  You often get pulled in so many directions – both the mom and dad.

You might also want to read:

  1. Part 3: Issues with my parents, past & present
  2. Leaving the hospital: The days after and experiencing postpartum baby blues
  3. Update to in-laws being in town for 2 weeks after baby Tarzan is born
  4. Monkey See Monkey Do – DRUNK! CRACK!?
  5. The BIG question pregnant parents ask each other 1,273 times… at least

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Someone's Mom

I agree with Melissa. Your post reminds me of the saying “it takes a village.” I posted about my in-laws on Jane’s last post. They are absolutely fantastic with my kids and if we didn’t have them close by, I don’t know what I’d do. They adore my children and the feeling is mutual.

It must be difficult for you all to have your parents far away, but you all are lucky to be able to have shared these past two weeks together. The most important thing for Monkey (and you) is to keep up with the phone calls with your Dad. I know he’s calling every day now because he misses Monkey so much, but it might be great to keep that up. Just a quick phone call each day. I have a member of my family that talks to his mother every single day. Many times they do not have a thing to talk about, but just want to hear each other’s voices.

It sounds like Monkey is a lucky little boy. I was lucky enough to get to know all of my grandparents, and I would not be who I am today without two of them. My grandparents saved me.

Very sweet post :)

2 Melissa E.

I agree that grandparents are very important to the development of our little ones. I think in ancient societies, people lived closer to one another and shared more parenting duties with their extended families. My son is lucky enough to have three grandpas and four grandmas (divorced parents plus remarriage), and he has a special relationship with each of them. He feels extra loved. It’s so good that your son got to establlish those close ties with his grandpa.

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