Monkey & I went to the park yesterday, as we do just about every afternoon. There were many older kids playing on the equipment, so we went to the woodsy part where there are concrete blocks that kids like to play on.
On the short walk over to the woodsy part (about 15 steps), Monkey got distracted by a bike that was on the ground. He squealed with delight & walked over to touch the wheel. This kid loves wheels of all kind, I tell you.
Out of nowhere comes this four year old girl. (Well, I’m guessing she was about four; I’m not good with kids & their ages.) Suddenly she’s screaming at Monkey, “That’s my brother, Sebastian’s bike, & you can’t touch it. Get away. Now!” I looked at her like the bratty girl she was being & I told Monkey that we were going to continue our walk to the blocks.
I wanted to be like, “Look, little girl. He’s looking at the wheels. He might touch the wheel, but he won’t do any harm to it. I’m right here watching him. He’s only interested. He isn’t going to steal the damn bike. Calm down.”
But I didn’t because that would have been inappropriate, especially to say “damn.” We just walked away.
We get to the blocks & wouldn’t you know that the little girl decided to play there too. Just my luck. Monkey put his hands on one of the blocks & she jumped on that same block, missing his hand about two inches. I was pissed.
Then she told him, “You can’t play here. I’m playing here. If you play here, I’m going to jump on your hands.”
Enough, little bratty girl. I looked over to find her mom to see if she was watching this & of course, she was not. She was talking to another parent.
Side note: I get chatting it up with other parent’s at the park… It’s just what we do. As a parent, we love other adult interaction. However, if you’re kid is being a bully (or maybe a typical four year old, I don’t know), you better step in or I’m going to be that mom that corrects your kid if she threatening to do harm to mine.
And that’s just what I did.
I looked her in the eyes & told her that Monkey could, in fact, play there & that he was going to play there. I told her that there were four other blocks & she was not going to jump on his fingers. She looked at me like she had never been told something like that & quietly went to play on another block.
The rest of the time she kept trying to get my attention: ”Look at me, I’m a princess.” ”Look at my princess shoes.” ”I’m snow white.” Blah, blah, blah.
I didn’t care, nor did I want to play with her. I don’t like kids like that… & I guess the beauty of it is that I don’t have to like kids like that because they aren’t mine. I’m sure that Monkey will go through a stage like that, but I can only hope that I’m aware of it & try to teach him to act differently when the time comes.
I guess it’s true when “they” say that just because you have kids, you don’t necessarily have to like other kids.
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I feel bad for that little girl. Chances run that she feels that she needs the attention…it doesn’t sound like Mommy was giving it to her.
But, anyway, I’m totally THAT mom. My older son is nearly four and you’d better believe he can’t get away with acting like that; and if any other kid tries to pull it, I’m all over them like hair on a monkey.
I completely agree with you. As a parent you can feel like you have no right to tell another parents child off but I feel that if they are not there and their child is mis-behaving then you have every right to have a few quiet words with the child to inform them that they are in the wrong/being naughty. I really don’t like children like that and their parents should not let them act as spoilt as some do.
Jane and Tarzan,
Hope life is treating you both ok. It seems you all have been going through some challenging times over the past few months. I am a full time working mom of two baby boys and I know how exhausting it can be to write a blog post when you are already super tired…it tires me out to even think about writing a post. I vowed when I went back to work after having my second baby that I would continue to post every couple of days, but that has been difficult. I think about my blog every day and think about what I want to write. I do find when I take a few minutes and focus on myself and write on my blog, I feel much better. It’s my “me” time. I feel a sense of accomplishment. I do not have many readers, but that doesn’t matter to me. I feel so much better when I get it all out. I’ve been following your blog since it’s inception, and you both write well. Keep it up if you love it! Keep it up if you still have a passion for it. Let it go if you don’t. Hoping to hear from you guys soon. I guess you can call me nosy!
All the best!
Miss ya Jane and Tarzan
It takes a village to raise children. Try a positive approach to this situation. Give the little girl a bit of attention, speak gently and firmly in guiding her to behave appropriately and be a good example for your son. Your kind intervention could make an everlasting impression on another child. If I can enrich another child’s day; I am making this a better world for my four children. Don’t focus on the other parent. A child’s behaviour is much easier to influence than that of an adult. This is especially important for first time parents who often lack the experience to correctly perceive all developmental stages typical of childhood AND parenthood.
I hear you. My son is about the same age, and I have been dealing with the same issue lately. I take him to one of those indoor play gyms, and am constantly trying to avoid the older children as they can be too rough and bossy around the younger children.
The most recent example was at the mall indoor play area. A 5 -6 year old (I think?) was jumping off the play equipment, and came very close to landing on multiple crawling babies. The parents of the 5-6 yr old were sitting right there, and said nothing. My friend’s daughter then started also jumping off equipment, since the older boy was ‘allowed’ to do it. So, she explained to her daughter loud enough for the parents to hear that she needs to stop, as she could hurt one of the smaller children, or herself. Finally, the parents of the 5 yr old got the hint, and looked a little embarrassed actually. I think some parents are just clueless!
Hi Genn,
I’ve 16 month old son who is very picky eater…..Can u please share with me about Monkey’s daily menu ….It would be a big help for me if u can share with me ….Thanks a lot….
Isn’t it interesting how it’s always other people’s kids who are the brats?
Ha, the little princess wanted adult attention…I personally hate when I find myself watching out for the other kids when their parents aren’t.
@Ellen – I agree. As a child, there was fear of consequences and then an innate respect for adults … this came from home training, school, church and other parents.
Boys or girls… it doesn’t really matter. Kids will be kids and be bratty and shock the crap out of their parents because of the awful things they will do. I just wish parents would DISCIPLINE their children when it happens to prevent it from becoming a problem!
As a kid, I remember being terrified of acting up (ESPECIALLY in public) because my parents would never *ever* let me get away with it. And I learned to be polite, respectful, kind, and considerate (amongst many other things). I wish parents now days would instill those those vital manners into their children… the world would be a much happier place!
“I know boys can be brats but girls are more likely to be bratty than boys” Uh it’s true. Girls ARE more likely to be brats. Yes boys can still be brats/punks/bullies. I didn’t deny that. But girls tend to be more bratty. At least in my life that is the way it goes. I’m not dogging on anyone who has a girl. I never said that. I LOVE my neices to pieces and they aren’t brats AT ALL! I’m not saying ALL girls are bratty.
Ambria D – not sure why exactly you reduced this to a gender thing. I found that obnoxious, particularly since my non-bratty 8 month old daughter recently had an encounter with a mean boy who intentionally jumped on her hands 3 times while his father looked on unphased. I’m going to be that mom too.
”Look at me, I’m a princess.” ”Look at my princess shoes.” ”I’m snow white.” Blah, blah, blah.
YOU ARE SO FUNNY! I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING AFTER READING THIS LINE…
Unfortunately I have had this happen several times myself. Parents will go to a park (or local play land) and read, play on their phones, or talk to other parents. This wouldn’t be a big deal, except that they completely ignore their children.
I have pulled children down off the side of play lands that are 7-8 ft up in the air, taken my son’s toys back from children, and discussed with other people’s children why headbutting, shoving, or biting is not ok. It gets very frustrating, and the parents end up looking at me like I am the bad guy.
I actually had a woman call me a b#$@& because I told her 4 year old that it was not ok to bite my 1 1/2 year old son. She had glanced over when my son started crying, registered what had happened, and continued to talk on her phone. I walked over and made sure my son was ok. I then told her son that biting wasn’t nice and it hurt people’s feelings. THEN the mom hung up, walked over and started screaming at me (in the middle of a McDonalds play land). When I showed her the bruise on my son’s cheek (yes, he bit him on the CHEEK) she told me that my son probably deserved it. Her son was mad because mine wouldn’t hand over his own personal stuffed animal. Luckily there were several other parents there that had seen what happened and told her to back off.
Long story long, this happens OFTEN, and someone has to be THAT mom. Good for you!
Love it! Keep being that mom, Jane. As the old saying goes … “Children live what they learn”
Someone needed to help her think twice about being a “wanna be” bully … maybe she’ll be one less for the schools to reshape later in life. Meanwhile, the mom was probably over there bragging how perfect her kids are … Next time, on your way to the car to go home, make sure to politely let the mother know how her child plays at the park. She may not believe you, but she sure will keep a better eye on her next time.
This is NOT about having a girl. I’ve got to say that I spent the weekend with my two children (3 yr old girl and 5 month old boy) and my friends 3 children (9 yr old boy, 3 yr old girl and 2 year old boy) BRATS!! They were not bad seeds or because of their gender but it was because of the parenting! NO follow through.
These kids hit my kid, drew on the windows, slammed doors, threw their dog around, and call their mom a bitch. Not once did the parents do a time out. The last time Their kid pulled my daughter down and hit her she slapped him across the face. He had it coming to him but she still had a time out (which was so hard to do when I wanted to give her a high five).
A person can never say that their kids won’t do something but it is all about how you react.
PS when we did take these kids to the park NO ONE wanted to play with them.
Oh my goodness. This is why I do NOT want a girl LOL! I can NOT handle a brat if I had one. I know boys can be brats but girls are more likely to be bratty than boys. I am that mom too.
GAH! Parent’s who don’t pay attention to their kids ongoings in parks, playgroups, kindergyms, indoor play places etc piss me off! I get this experience a lot on the ferry. My son being is in his own world a lot of the time and sometimes the brattier or bigger kids try to pick on him (4YO) I think it’s a 4 Yo thing) I used to say nothing to these children or their parents as it’s not like I’ll see them again. But I had had it 2X on the ferry in one weekend.
One time a little boy was trying to push my son’s hand off a wheel on a boat toy with a front and a back he had his wheel, my son had his and (this was after I redirected my son to that wheel as he was going for the front one and I had no idea who had that one first) I said “I don’t think so” to the little boy and he said “I was reaching for X” and I called him on it. A little while later he was trying to bother my son who was minding his own business so I said to his father (after I had identified him) to make sure his son didn’t hit my son.”
I get needing a few minute break but would it kill a parent to glance up now and then?
On the same weekend on our way home a little girl was in the play area and her mom was sitting just outside it. She was being a bully to the other kids but no parents said anything to her. She approached my son and was about to hit him unprovoked he was minding his own business and I said something along the lines of “You’re not going to hit him, now say you’re sorry.” She did, then her mom called her over, talked to her and sent her to apologize to Aaron all without coming to the play area to see what was going on. Parents really need to be on top of this. I wouldn’t be suprised if some of these kids are acting out to get their parents attention.
I was at a McDonald’s with my son once I take him there to play in their indoor play places and this one mom was outside the play area, through a closed door talking to her friend while her twin boys ate their dessert in high chairs. After when they wanted to be up in the play area climbing, she was not there and they needed help climbing the platform so it was me who lifted them up on platforms along with my son. Short 2-year-olds need help with this. Man, I am lucjy I am short and can fit in those things when need be.
I am with you on this one. I really don’t like other kids at the park. They are bratty and germy and just, ugh.
I take my one-year old daughter to the park quite often. A lot of times the kids there want to try and get in her face. They tell me, “Aww, she’s so cute” and want to get her to smile at them or follow them. It drives me crazy. Then they want to talk to me about her. “Does she know how to talk? Why is she picking up the bark? Why is she doing that? What is she saying?”
Really, my daughter just wants to explore. We are not interested in you, nor do I want to pay any attention to you. I want to play with my child and ignore you.
Anyway, I like this post.
I totally feel ya on this one, Jane. I’m going to be that mom too. I’ve already been that my mom with my toddler. He has a cousin who is a month older and they spend the week together, and the older boy constantly takes whatever toy my toddler is playing with away from him…constantly. The older one could be in another room playing with his own toy and will come to wherever my toddler is and take what he has…just because he can. My son can talk a bit now but has not quite grasped how to defend himself using verbal communication. He does try to get away from his cousin, pull the toy away, and cry, but his cousin is bigger than him and usually wins the fight. I love his little cousin dearly, but I get so mad when this happens. I just want to tell him to leave my kid alone and go play with your own toys. I have told him before to stop and go find his own toy, but he doesn’t understand what I’m saying. Here’s hoping they learn how to play fairly…and that the older one doesn’t turn out to be a bully. Have a nice weekend with Monkey and Tarzan!