I decided a while back that I needed to accept what was happening & move forward. No sense in dwelling in the negative.
The first thing I did was tell my best friend about the foreclosure. Then we told my parents. Then I sucked up my pride, because really, it’s all about pride, & told a few other close friends. Everyone that I was close to knew what was going on & this gave me an out.
If I was getting down & depressed about the shitty situation, I now had a group of people that I could talk to & share my feelings with. I had friends that I could go get drinks with & try to escape from my current life, even for a few hours. I had friends to go to the gym with & take out my anger on punching a bag. I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders immediately.
I guess the only way to stop the cycle of “keeping up with the jone’s” is to just be real. Be honest. When you are honest, you don’t have to keep up with anyone. And that’s what I liked.
I didn’t have to pretend that things were fine & dandy when they weren’t. I was allowing my feelings to come out, which helped me deal with this mess tremendously. It’s never healthy to bottle up your emotions, letting them out is so freeing.
A few days ago I received two Facebook messages from old neighbors asking what happened to us. My initial reaction was to ignore the messages, but I did the complete opposite. I messaged both of them back & told them the details. Not all of the details, because no one needs to know everything, but they got the basics.
After I pressed “send”, I worried if I should have sent the messages. I wondered what they would say in their reply back to me & if they would sound judgey. What I didn’t even think of is that neither one of them would write me back. It’s been about 4-5 days since I sent the messages & I’ve yet to hear back from them.
Oh well though. They aren’t people that I would want to hang out with outside of being neighbors, so I’m fine with the lack of communication. Or perhaps they just don’t know what to say to me, which is fine and completely understandable too.
Each & every day I thank God for protecting my family during this stressful situation. It really could have been SO much worse. We found a cute little house that I love & feel so safe in. My son loves the house too. I think it’s growing on my husband, as well. We have a roof over our heads & a bed to sleep in.
It really is the little things in life that make you happy & feel fulfilled. The other stuff, at times, just gets in the way. If nothing else, I’ve learned to appreciate everything in life, take nothing for granted, & to be smarter about money.
Oh, & to not invest in real estate. I kid, I kid.
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I hope you like your new home! 2000 sqaure feet would be a dream for me. I’m in a 962 Sq foot house with an unfinsihed basement. It’s way too small. But when we moved here, we were desperate to get out of miltary housing and took the first viable option. But were in a really nice neighbourhood with a HUGE backyard which is important for the little guy. I hope all is going well for you guys.
Great to read your posts and can relate to the freeing feeling of just being honest. Glad you are able to get it out on the blog too and hope it helps process the emotions. The poem Disiderata has helped me in times like that, reminds me not to compare myself to others and to accept and be content with life as it is. Best of luck to you all…a happy mommy makes a happy babe.
I’m glad you have friends that are there for you through this, and your readers are here rooting for you as well. I agree that your parents could’ve done more, but be careful with sounding so offended that they think you don’t want them around. Again, don’t blame you for being offended, but they don’t seem to be the most proactive people, so maybe seeing you close up makes them shy away from facing the situation, you know what I mean? Not that it’s right, but I’m just saying that it doesn’t mean they don’t love you. It means they have issues themselves, but being defensive whenever they do talk to you (like when your mom called, even if she didn’t completely make sense) probably doesn’t encourage them to keep it up. Again, not talking away their fault – they’re in the wrong, but be careful how you respond to them as well. By the way, I love this song on this subject: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITh9IH1p-ME (it’s about this: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew%2018:21-22&version=NIV. Don’t know what your beliefs are, but it’s helped me A LOT in deep, deep set hurts – realizing that even though I didn’t have to be a doormat, I didn’t have to carry around the pain either). Praying that God will give you wisdom and healing!