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D&C or miscarry naturally?

by Jane · 9 comments

I feel so confused right now.  I’m going to call my doctor’s office in 9 minutes (when they open), but I don’t know exactly what I’m going to say.  I don’t know if I should go with having the D&C done or just miscarry naturally.

I was all set to miscarry the sac naturally until I started reading online and some of the comments in my previous post.  I feel funny going the D&C route because I almost feel like I don’t deserve to take the “easy way out”… Not that having a D&C procedure would be easy, but I feel like there would be more closure than just constantly bleeding and being in pain for days.

Since I didn’t and never had a baby growing in the sac, I feel like I just need to suck it up and miscarry naturally.  Plus, I was only 7 weeks and 4 days instead of, say, 11 weeks like other stories I read.

I guess I just feel like the facts that I was still early and that I never had a baby don’t warrant having a D&C done.  Does that make any sense?

Also, I just don’t feel like I’m strong enough to go through days and days of bleeding.  So many reminders of what happened and what’s not going to happen.  I just want it to be over and done with so I can move on.  Any advice?

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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

1 theresa

I haven’t talked about this online to anyone and only a few people in my everyday life even know. I was in the exact same spot you are in just this past June, except I was 11 weeks.

I went to the DR and decided I was going to do it naturally. I have a super high tolerance for pain and I felt it would just be easier to do it naturally. It didn’t start happening for another 2 weeks. And the first 3 days were Hell! After that is took about 4 weeks for the it stop and 2 weeks later is started up again and continue for another 2 weeks. So basically my whole summer was spent dealing with this. ARGH!

I’ve already told my husband that if it were to happen again we’re going the DNC route.

2 Angela

When I had a miscarriage (blighted ovum) in 2009, after much much debate, I decided to miscarry naturally. Since I knew we would try for another pregnancy later on, I didn’t want to risk the development of scar tissue. I was only 6-7 weeks along also, so I trusted my body to do what it needed to do. I had blood work monitored over the next few weeks to make sure the hormone levels were declining as they were supposed to. I had bleeding for 5 weeks. The first couple of weeks were mentally hard- but I think that struggle would have been there with a D&C or with miscarrying naturally. It’s an individual choice and unfortunately there is no easy answer. I’m so sorry you are having to go through this.

3 Steph Bucher

You don’t need to punish yourself. Forget that it was just an empty sac. Thats not important. You were pregnant, now you’re losing the baby. Thats hard enough to deal with without dealing with the pain and days and days of bleeding that miscarrying naturally brings. A d&c is not easy by any means, but it is over when its done. You can rest assured that the sac is gone and you don’t have to think about it. When I was miscarrying naturally I kept wondering every time I went to the bathroom wether I had passed the tissue that time or not. Its horrible. Its not something anyone should think about.

I often thought “why me” too. It sucks. Its not fair. I’m so sorry.

4 Sheri

I so totally feel your pain. . .and let me tell you that no way is the easy way out and what makes the decision even harder is the grief that is involved. I had three miscarriages. The first was on vacation in Florida far away from home and I decided on a D&C because we were flying home and didn’t know what would happen on the plane. The second and third were at home. We had a three year old at the time and, in looking back, he was traumatized a little because he knew we were having a baby and then I’d go running for the bathroom and all the blood and he knew that the baby was not going to be with us but had gone to be with God instead. There was a lot of running to the bathroom with some very big clots coming–I was around 12 weeks with all the miscarriages. I decided to stay home because I didn’t want the surgery either. There is no easy answer. I will be praying as you make this decision–just make it in confidence and don’t doubt. Give yourself time to grieve and say good-bye. In God’s time and plan He will bless your family again. And enjoy the little Monkey. . .and your hubby too!

5 Julian'sMommy

D&C’s have risks that docs don’t necessarily tell you about – I actually was just last week diagnosed with endometriosis and mild Asherman’s syndrome from two D&C’s I had after my son was born (retained placenta). In many cases, scar tissue can form and this can cause fertility problems and pain down the road (many, whose scar tissue is bad enough, cannot carry a pregnancy to term after a simple D&C from a miscarriage.) Not to scare the crap out of you or anything, I realize you have enough on your mind and your plate….just consider going the natural method. If you body will do the work for you, it saves you a procedure that could carry risks down the road. Good luck, and I’m sorry for your loss :(

6 db

You deserve to have whatever will be easiest for you. Don’t punish yourself , that’s crazy!

I couldn’t just wait and wait for everything to pass . (then again, I’m definitely not an au natural kind of girl, and if the D&C makes it all faster and easier to get through emotionally and physically, I’m all about that.) And I’ve heard stories of people ending up needing a D & C anyways after a miscarriage. Hope you are doing okay .

7 Jess L.

From my experience the bleeding was really hard on me every time I went to the bathroom it was a very painful reminder that I was not pregnant. I did not have a D&C because the Dr said everything was coming out fine and I was early in my miscarriages. It is not an easy way out. I am totally thinking of you right now.

8 Jane

Thanks HDL – I needed to hear that. I’m actually on hold with the nurse right now and I think that I’m going with the D&C. I think she’s scheduling it for Monday at noon. I just can’t help but wonder “why me” right now. :(

9 HDL

I’m not sure why a having a blighted ovum vs an embryo that stopped developing makes any difference. You don’t have to “suck it up” and endure several days of pain and anguish just because your pregnancy ended in miscarriage earlier than is has for others. Be gentle with yourself and don’t punish yourself for something you could not control. I hope the nurses at your OB’s office can help you work through it and decide what is best for you. And don’t forget to let Tarzan be there for you, too. *Hugs!*

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