I remember someone telling me once that there is never a ‘prefect time’ to plan to have a baby. Things always come up; life happens. Sure, there are those couples who actually plan on having a baby and do well sticking to their plan, but there is another group of couples who sometimes let life get in the way.
Jane and I of course talked about having a child. When we got married last year, the ‘plan’ was to start trying around November. November was so far away and we knew we’d have things in order, money saved up, and we’d be ready.
As the months went on, the economy was getting worse. In my field, I began to notice things start to go downhill actually a year ago. I can remember having several conversations with Jane about how we were going to have to put things off for awhile when it came to baby making. Maybe wait another few months…
What I’m about to say I’ve never even told Jane. Huh. This little pregnancy blog serves several purposes I guess! Anyway, in August I really started to wonder if there ever would be a right time. Things continued to get worse, I lost most of my clients, and I knew it was going to be tough for awhile.
By the time September rolled around I was fairly sure that it wouldn’t be until late 2009 or maybe 2010 that we’d start trying. Maternity insurance isn’t cheap for the self-employed. And you obviously have to get that ahead of time before you become pregnant.
October hit and I had made up my mind. There was no way we could do anything for quite awhile. I knew that it hurt Jane. It hurt me too. But with the way the economy and business was going, it would have been crazy to get the insurance and start trying.
Then, like a witch doing wild doughnuts in the air riding on a broomstick, Halloween comes rolling in – and you know what happened that night! So here we are. Jane is 13 weeks pregnant and I’m a bucket full of smelly slimy stress oil with major lower backaches because that’s where I hold my stress. (If you have any tips on how to get rid of stress-induced lower back pain, that would be greatly appreciated!)
Speaking of stress, listen to this. Tonight I plucked my very first white hair. WTH?! I’m too young to have a white hair! It was on my eyebrow of all places. The stress must not only be in my back, but it must be going to my eyebrows, too. Great. Just great.
I had a massage the other day for my back, but now I’m going to need to make another appointment to get my eyebrows massaged to get the stress out of them. Man. I guess I could have found a white hair somewhere else, so it could have been worse. And if I did find one in a more private area where my boys live, I highly doubt Jane would allow me to get that section of my body massaged.
One freaking white hair.
Jane doesn’t know I plucked it out. I don’t even know if she knew I had one. I was too embarrassed to tell her. But now she’ll know and hopefully she’ll massage my eyebrows tonight so another one doesn’t sprout up overnight.
That single white hair (it was actually white, really!) freaked me out tonight. After I plucked it out (which hurt like hell by the way) I just held it up and looked at it. That single white hair made me realize that many years down the road I’ll have those little unwanted dingbats in other places. Oh boy. I just have to find a way to destressitize myself. Destressitize. Is that a real word? I don’t care. It’s fun to say. Destressitize.
Anyway, getting back to father-to-be life… don’t take me wrong here with my freaking and stressing out. Believe me. I am extremely excited about our coming new addition to our family. I know our baby will be the best thing that has ever happened to the both of us. I know that we’ll be happier than we ever have been in our lives the moment we first see our creation with our own eyes. So really, I’m good there.
Now on the flip side, I’m sure I’m going through what many other father-to-be’s are also going through… especially during these times. I think as a guy it’s natural to be thinking about all of the financial aspects of everything, especially when you have a baby on the way. I’ve talked about that in previous blog posts.
Also, I try my best to keep all my stresses away from Jane so she can be pregnant and stress-free, but sometimes I have to talk to her because decisions need to be made – and they’ll of course affect her.
As a side note, I should make a mental note to talk to Jane about any really big stuff before I post it here! We obviously read each others posts, and I’d hate for either one of us to read something that we should have talked about first! Whew! Saved myself a few pregnancy heightened hormone spiked arguments there!
So, here’s where I’m going with all of this. I know, get to the point already Tarzan…
Sometimes there just isn’t a right time. If you wait for the right time to come, before you know it you’re 72 years-old popping Viagra like they are grapes and chasing nurses down the hallway. Or if you’re a women and you wait to long, the batteries in that clock of yours will have long expired, and the only action you get is when you “ooooh and aaaaah” over how good the Bengay feels on your aching feet.
So what are we going to do? We’re just going to deal with it, make the best of it, and know that things may be a little crazy around here for awhile. I say that like it’s easy to do! My constant stress levels prove otherwise, but at least I know in the back of my mind that we’ll get through this one way or another, get back on track, and jump ahead of the 8-ball.
After all, I do have something to feel very proud of and happy about besides a baby on the way…
I know that my boys can swim! For years I thought those little buggers were afraid of the water. Honestly I thought the only swimming they could do was the breaststroke. ha!
You might also want to read:
- Father-to-be woken up at 5 AM with severe chest pain… Pregnancy stress?
- 6 weeks pregnant: Hair everywhere… Oh, great.
- Hair Loss? Oh no.
- My Pregnant Wife Has Nausea Tonight.
- Massive technical difficulties. I think our website is pregnant.
[...] 9. The stress of having a wife who is 13 weeks pregnant, the economy, and a white hair [...]
[...] is for a White hair. Awhile back I wrote a pregnancy blog post about a single white hair I found on my body. Sadly, it was connected to me. That single white hair really made me take a [...]