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Tarzan’s Ultimate Guide To Baby Sizes Week-By-Week For Soon-To-Be Fathers

by Tarzan · 13 comments

21-22-23-24-weeks-pregnant-baby-size1YES! The Guide To Baby Sizes Week-By-Week for soon-t0-be fathers is finally completed!

Some background for those of you who are new visitors: In a recent blog post, I explained how I was sick and tired of our baby always being compared to some fruit each and every single week.

Enough is enough I say!  This one goes out to all my fellow soon-to-be Dad’s who are also sick of seeing different fruit each and every single week.  Now us guys can finally understand the size of our baby.

So without further ado, please allow me to introduce to you the Official 2009 limited edition of…

“Tarzan’s Ultimate Guide To Baby Sizes
Week-By-Week For Soon-To-Be Fathers”

Note: To download the PDF version of the guide,
click on:
Baby Size Guide For Soon-To-Be Fathers

baby-size-pregnancy-weeks-3-and-4 Pregnancy Weeks 3-4
If you look very carefully
into the magnifying glass
you’ll see a very, very tiny dot. 

 

5-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 5: 
You’re going to shoot your
eye out, kid
!”  Your baby is
about the size of a BB now. 

 

pregnancy-week-6-baby-sizePregnancy Week 6:
There’s nothing to worry
about. Your kid won’t be a
nut, it’s just how big he is. 
 

7-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 7: 
Your baby is about the
size of the power button
on your TV remote. 
 

8-weeks-pregnant-baby-size
Pregnancy Week 8:

Got some spare change
buddy? Your baby is now
the size of a shiny quarter. 
 

9-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 9:
Losing your marbles? I
feel for you buddy.  Your
baby is now the size of one. 

 

10-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 10: 
Think you’re a handyman?
Your baby is about the size
of the head of a hammer. 
 

11-weeks-pregnant-baby-size2Pregnancy Week 11: 
Fore! The next time you swing
your golf club, know your baby
is about the size of a golfball.
 

12-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 12: 
Sure you’re 10 inches. Your
baby is the size of a small
measuring tape this week.
 

13-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 13: 
Need some gas? Your wife has
some. Your baby is now the 
size of the gas cap on your car.
 

14-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 14: 
Stressed out? I feel you. Now
your baby is the size of a stress
ball. You may need to buy one.

 

15-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 15: 
You obviously made it to
home, congrats! Your baby
is the size of a baseball. 
 

16-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 16: 
Man, you are a STUD!
Your baby is now the size
of a small stud finder. 

 

17-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 17: 
Goooooooooooooal!  This
week, your baby is about
the size of a hockey puck. 
 

18-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 18:
Mr. 5 o’clock shadow, your
baby is now about the size
of a small electric shaver. 

 

19-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 19: 
Why do they call it a softball?
It huts like hell when one hits
you. Your baby is the size of one.

 

20-weeks-baby-size-big-boobsPregnancy Week 20: 
Mmmm… Memories.  This
week your baby is now the
size of one nice-sized boob.
 

21-weeks-pregnant-baby-size1Pregnancy Week 21:
Cheers to the father-to-be!  
This week your baby is about
as long as a beer bottle. 
 

21-22-23-24-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 21-24: 
You went long and deep and
scored! Your baby is about the
size of an over-inflated football.
 

pregnany-weeks-25-26-27-28-baby-sizePregnancy Week 25-28: 
13 inch boot? You know what
they say… Your baby is about
this long during these weeks.
 

pregnancy-weeks-29-30-31-32-baby-sizePregnancy Week 29-32: 
Your baby is now about 16 inches
long, which is the size of the front
wheel on the origional Big Wheel.
 

pregnancy-baby-size-weeks-33-34-35-36Pregnancy Week 33-36:
The next time you look into your
17-inch computer screen, know
that your baby is now that long.
 

pregnancy-37-weeks-baby-size1Pregnancy Week 37 to the big day:
Your baby is the size of the electric motor
in the $110,000 2008 Tesla which can
go from 0 to 60 in 3.9 seconds.  Sweet.

That’s right fellow soon-to-be fathers.  By the time your baby is born he or she is the size of the electric motor in the $110,000 2008 Tesla.  Don’t think you could be driving one of these?  You could have had one… maybe even two.

A Warning For Soon To Be Fathers:
A Bouncing Baby Could Create Some
Bouncing Checks If You’re Note Careful! 

If you and your wife earn at least $50,000 a year combined, you’re going to spend roughly $184,320 to raise your child from birth to the age of 17.

If you and your wife earn at least $70,000 a year combined, you’re going to be shelling out a whopping $269,500.

And if that doesn’t make you swallow a little hard, this one will… Those statistics are from a U.S. Department of Agriculture study from 2004.  So you might as well add several tens of thousands of dollars to those numbers above since that data is 5 years old.

My advice: Take a look again at pregnancy week 21.  A few of those makes the above a little easier to swallow… at least for a few hours anyway!

Note: To download the PDF version of the guide,
click on: 
Baby Size Guide For Soon-To-Be Fathers

Help Me Save Other Dads! Send this to every soon-to-be
father and save him from the fruits of the week!

You might also want to read:

  1. Pregnancy Week By Week: Weeks 36, 37, 38 Pregnant Belly Pictures Added.
  2. Pregnancy Week Sweet 16? Jane celebrates by throwing up several times. I celebrate by cleaning up.
  3. Revolutionary Weight Loss Program For Soon-To-Be Fathers Disclosed For The First Time Ever
  4. Our baby is not a fruit! Enough already! A Father-To-Be Fights Back.
  5. The ultimate pregnancy week 18 food craving fulfilled!

Facebook comments:

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Jessica

You should turn this into a facebook app that shares it every week. This way the guys can have their own count down

2 Tarzan

LOL @Morgan. Happy 21 weeks!

3 Morgan

Great blog! Can’t wait to show my husband that our baby is the size of a beer bottle!

4 Tarzan

Lisa, if indeed that happens… and oh boy I hope it does, everyone will know what we’re up to if a few days go by without a new blog post from either of us. LOL!

5 Lisa Lauffer

Tarzan, it’s not a myth. Just hold on, and soon you too shall experience the wonder. And, whoo, so shall she!!!

6 Tarzan

Pete, oh believe me… it was on my mind the entire time once I reached week 20 when compiling the images today! And that wasn’t the ONLY thing on my mind… but I guess Jane still hasn’t hit the famous “second trimester hormone explosion” yet. I am REALLY starting to think that is a myth!

Looks like another night of me eating a bowl of ice cream! :(
.

Lisa… LOL!

7 pete

Man, this is brilliant! I would have never in my life thought of something like this. I was waiting for the baby to reach the size of two boobs, but it didn’t happen. It got me to keep reading, though. :D

8 Lisa Lauffer

Seriously, this goes right up there with the television series “Man Caves.”

9 Tarzan

Hey Lisa – I know exactly why… the little pictures of the fruit their wives had been sending them hypnotized them. Hopefully the above will snap all the soon-to-be dads out of it! :)

10 Lisa Lauffer

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!! Can’t believe some savvy man didn’t think of this sooner!

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