When certain people found out I was pregnant, they either asked questions that were bound to annoy the hell out of me, or they did weird things.
Like my drunk aunt who went crazy over my belly (read: bloat) on Christmas. I mean really, I was only 9w5d pregnant and there was nothing to fawn over.
Oh, and by crazy, I mean she totally kissed my stomach up and down. Now this is a relative, so I guess it’s a lot better than a complete stranger, but still. It’s creepy and I would rather it not be done. At all.
Now I realize my mom has the best intentions by calling me daily, sometimes more than once, to just ask, “How are you feeling?”, but again, why daily?
Before you get on my case about being an insensitive brat, you should know that I am honored when she asks me that and I know that she cares, but there are only so many times and with so many people that I can answer that question.
How about if I’m feeling bad, I will let you know… this way you don’t have to constantly ask. Easy, right?
Last night I ran into my neighbor while out walking and she said that she wanted us to get together for dinner. She said that she would email me about good dates for her. Well, I got her email, along with a “I also invited blah and blah because she is pregnant and I thought y’all could trade stories.”
Um, really?
Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean that I can’t associate with non-pregnant women. It also does not mean that I only want to talk about being pregnant. I am fully capable of being pregnant AND talking about all kinds of topics. Don’t limit me just to pregnancy!
Like at Christmas, my pregnant cousin asked, “So my aerolas are totally brown and I look like a black woman. How are yours? Also, do you have a lot of discharge?”
Again, she asked this while eating freakin’ Christmas dinner. Perhaps I’m not your “typical” pregnant woman, and I certainly don’t care to hear about your black lady boobs and discharge that comes from you vag. Thank you very much.
(Note: perhaps this would be acceptable if we were close, but we aren’t. She married my cousin last year and we only see each other during Thanksgiving and Christmas. It’s a little too soon in our relationship to be talking about topics that include my boobs and my vagina.)
Suddenly, I went from being a very normal 28-year old that could and would talk about everything and anything to now being a 28-year old who only wants to talk about pregnancy, constipation, discharge, nips, and trade stories with other knocked up woman. Sorry, not me!
I can only imagine what will happen when strangers try to touch my belly. Again, yes, I’m with child, but no, you may reach out and touch because I’m pregnant. Would you reach out to touch a normal belly on a stranger? No. You might get slapped. Same scenario. Just don’t.
I’m sure there are a million other things that I could write about, but I’ll leave you with that for right now. If you have any stories and/or annoyances about being pregnant, feel free to leave them in the comments so that I get a good giggle (and know that I’m not the only one.)
You might also want to read:
- For all you pregnant ladies that want people to stay away from your belly, get this tank top pronto!
- 21 weeks pregnant: 11 things that people say to me that I’m sick of hearing already!
- 37 weeks pregnant: Reminiscing about my pregnancy
- 26 week pregnant belly grows with every bite at night
- Pregnancy Week Sweet 16? Jane celebrates by throwing up several times. I celebrate by cleaning up.
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
So true! I went through IVF to get pregnant and was blessed with triplets! Those three boys are my whole life! However, when I was pregnant, I had people making comments from “oh you must be due any day now” when I was only 5 months pregnant to “do you need a wheelchair?” while I was trying to find a swimsuit at 7 months pregnant. Gotta love those comments people make without even thinking…
I could never figure out why anyone would think it is ok to touch my tummy. It’s like touching any other part of my body, and you must be someone really close to me like my sister to touch me. Loved this diagram!
Belly touching is so awkward for me…
the very first time somone touched my belly I kinda stood there in shock….
I wanted to say something to her but she’s my husband’s sgt lol
so i was a little torn….
but when it was the woman at key bank i pulled my coat over my belly and left lol
shockingly the only person to ask me if they could feel my baby, was a nurse that was new to the OB where I go… she’d never felt a babykick before and mine had the hiccups so she was tickled pink to get to feel those haha
Oh man, I think you just became my new best friend. I’m 8w3d right now, and we have only told our parents, but suddenly it seems like EVERYONE knows. I’m holding off on telling coworkers until I’M ready, but out of courtesy and respect, we wanted to make sure we told our parents first, and now I think that was a BIG mistake. And if I’m this annoyed with family members at 8 weeks, I can’t even imagine how bad it’s going to get. I feel like I’m being such a brat about this, but all I want to do is hide.
I know I’m pouring my heart out to you and you don’t even know me, but your blog really hit home with me and I just wanted to say THANK YOU! I’ve only read a couple of your posts but I believe that this is going to be a GREAT pregnancy resource for me. Best wishes!
Kelly’s last blog post..Albany
@Reiza – You’re right – If I didn’t have weird family members, then I wouldn’t have anything to talk about. Ha, ha! I’m sure there will be more funny stories from family to come in the future!
@Lisa – This happened just the other day actually. I was having lunch with 2 other people and labor came up. Of course they both told me their own labor stories and how they were in labor for like 22 hours, had tears, was miserable, etc. I finally had to stop them and say, “Uh, this is probably something that you don’t say in front of someone pregnant.” Duh.
@Mandie – Great story! Sometimes you just have to put people in their place!
@Dispatch Ninja – Glad you enjoyed a laugh! Personally, I wouldn’t want any person touching my belly without asking first, perv or not… but at least he means well.
@Strugglepants – I’m right there with you on the belly thing! How far along are you? I’m loving ice cream more than I ever have in my life. So strange and definitely not too good for the waistline.
@Daddy Files – Glad I could give you a good laugh!
@Crysi – I love your pregnant attitude with your husband, and I fully agree with you! I’ll believe the poop thing when it happens to me. It honestly seems so far away from a typical conversation, but I’m sure that all will change! Aren’t pj’s the best?!?
Ugh, the belly touching. My MIL won’t leave me alone. Hello, right now there’s no babies up there, it’s all my displaced internal organs. Stopped touching me! Then I get the “she just means well” from my husband. Please, do not piss off the pregnant lady, it won’t end well and you WILL lose.
Just wait until after the baby’s born. I can’t tell you how often you’ll talk about poop and feel like it’s totally normal. It’s weird how that works.
And I’m with you on the pajamas.
Nice post, very funny. You sound just like my wife when she was pregnant.
The belly patting is so weird to me. Do people not realize that beyond being a baby carrier, my stomach is… MY STOMACH. It would not be acceptable for me to caress anyone non-preggo’s buddha so I just don’t get it. Its one thing when we get further along and there are limbs sticking out and cool things happening. But for now, HANDS OFF.
And – I might be the one pregnant chick that does not crave ice cream… yet.
OMG thank you so much for this post!!!!!! I’m 22 weeks pregnant and I think people assume we forget how to function in normal civilization once we’re “with child”. I have a male co worker who touches my belly every time he sees me, he means no harm and he’s not a perv, but it’s my belly damnit! Thanks for giving me a good laugh this morning, I needed it
hehe I love the post. It brought back memories of my first pregnancy (he started high school last week) I was working in an RSL club (Retired Servicemen’s League in Australia) and one of the regulars used to love patting my tummy. He’d served in the Navy and was probably in his 80s or so. He’d proclaim as loud as anything how I looked like a beautiful sailing yacht with all it’s sails unfurled. Until one day when I returned the pat on his quite prominent belly and said ‘so do you dear’.
Fortunately he took my narky mood in his stride and we went on to have a weight loss competition which was quite close until I dramatically lost 8lb overnight to take out the title.
The moral of the story: make sure you keep plenty of people around who’ll keep your spirits up and don’t take it all too seriously
Wait until people start to tell you their labor and delivery stories: how long they labored, how much they tore, how often they puked. They wear them like a badge of honor. Sometimes they compete for bragging rights to THE WORST L&D. Sometimes they get so involved in telling their stories to each other that they forget you’re even sitting there! But they scare the poop out of you! (Oh, and they’ll tell you how much they pooped during their L&D too.)
Just remember, no one’s L&D story can have any impact on what your L&D will be like. AND no matter what it is like, the moment you meet your baby will be one of the most sacred moments of your life, and you’ll never forget it.
Oh, your family sounds like such, “fun.”
I hope they either tone it down a notch in the near future, or just shut up and sit down. Although, remember, stuff like this does provide fodder for the blog. 
Thanks for that chart. I love it. SO true!
Reiza’s last blog post..All You Need Is Love (and a new stroller)