Saturday, November 1, 2014

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Pregnancy Week Sweet 16? Jane celebrates by throwing up several times. I celebrate by cleaning up.

by Tarzan · 10 comments

16-weeks-pregnant-nauseaI’m not liking this new trend we’re on.  When the clock hit midnight on the day Jane turned 14 week pregnant, she threw up like crazy.  And now today, Jane hit the Sweet 16 weeks of pregnancy, and she rang it in by throwing up several times.

She didn’t throw up once up until she hit 14 weeks pregnant, but since that day – she’s had some VERY rough days and early mornings.

Jane started to get a really bad headache yesterday and during the night it turned into a migraine.  The pain in her head was so bad it caused the nausea which in turn caused her to throw up.  I was hoping that Jane’s Sweet 16 weeks of being pregnant was going to be a smooth and easy day, but I was wrong.  Heck, for that matter, I thought that the second trimester was going to be smooth sailing.

When I woke up this morning, I walked out into the living room and saw Jane sleeping on the couch.  She woke up and I could tell that morning sickness / nausea was kicking her butt hard.  She didn’t look good.  We talked for a few minutes and she asked me to make her some toast and told me she had already through up a few times, but she hasn’t eaten yet.

If I’ve learned anything over the last few weeks, it’s that an empty belly and a pregnant women do not mix.  That’s a sure fast-track way to nausea land.

So I made her some toast and went to give it to her, but she wouldn’t take the plate.  ”Are you OK babe?”  No response.  I then heard a deep rumpling sound come from her belly that sounded like a very angry monster screaming in a dark, deep cave. 

Jane jumped up and ran to the bathroom…

She didn’t quite make it in there in time and we’ll just say missed the target.  I went in there and rubbed her back while she threw up.  Instantly those feelings began to emerge that I talked about in a recent blog post about pregnancy week 14.

I felt so bad for her.  I wished there was something that I could do.  I felt so helpless.

Jane went back into the living room and I went back into the bathroom armed with paper towels, cleaning supplies, a plastic bag, my shirt over my nose, and thoughts of walking on the beach dancing around in my mind of all things to avoid thinking about what I was doing.  My stomach had already done a few summersaults; I didn’t want to be praying to the porcelain God myself so I focused on the wonderful imaginary walk on the beach I was having.  Sounds crazy, but it worked.

By the time I got everything cleaned up, Jane was eating her toast.  And now, it’s been about an hour and Jane is feeling better.  Her headache is still there, but nothing like what it was.  She hasn’t thrown up.  And I’m hoping that today, the day my beautiful wife is Sweet 16 weeks pregnant, she feel better fast and has a wonderful nausea and headache- free day.

16-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizeSometime today we’ll take a picture of Jane for her 16 weeks pregnant belly picture.  I’m shocked how much her belly has grown over the last 2-3 weeks.  You can TOTALLY tell she’s pregnant now.  There’s no hiding it especially in Texas where you don’t need a winter jacket.

So yes, today our baby is the size of a small stud finder!  :)

Father-to-be update at the sweet 16 weeks of pregnancy

If you’re a frequent visitor to our little pregnancy blog here, you know that we’re having a tough time financially with the economy, business, and the huge doctor bills that we have to pay every month.  Dare I mention another *surprise* bill came in for Jane’s blood tests a month ago.  I called them telling them I already paid the bill there, the company doesn’t believe me so they’re making me fax the receipt over to them.

16-weeks-pregnant-doctor-billsScary thing is that the bill that was sent to us in the mail listed other tests that were not on the original pregnancy blood tests receipt.  So I’m hoping there is a mistake somewhere, or there goes another $300.  That’ll make this month the most expensive so far.  $550 for the doctors visit the other day, maybe another $300 for blood tests (I had already paid then $250 or something), and a whopping $900 in 2 weeks for the ultrasound to find out the sex of our baby and to make sure everything is A-OK with our baby.  That’s a whopping $1,750.

Where did I put that bottle of vodka?

Father-to-be Stress.  I’ve been walking a LOT lately; several miles a day.  Yesterday was at least 6-7 miles.  I’m doing all I can to try to keep my stress levels down.  I’m also reading a book written in 1950 about attracting good things into your life.  It’s helpful because more than anything else, I need to bring my mindset back to thinking about what I want for myself and my family rather than focusing on what is lacking in our lives.

What you focus on grows - and lately all I’ve been thinking about is the lack of money, the lack of feeling good, and being overwhelmed by stress.  So I’m working on that.

As far as our house, I have been spending time researching and planning out what we’ll be doing to sell.  It’s going to take a HUGE effort.  It’s going to take doing something no one else is doing to stand out like a sore thumb.  It’s going to take every creative juice I have swimming around in my head to get our house sold, but I’m feeling good about my ideas and plans.  We’ll start the process this weekend and work hard next week to see if we can sell it by next weekend.

I’ll admit… I’m embarrassed.  I’m ashamed.  I’m not looking forward to talking to Jane’s parents and telling them that we have to (or hopefully telling them that we sold) our house.  I’ll feel about the size of an ant when I talk to them about it.  Knowing me, after I tell them, before they say a word, I’ll be assuring them that we’ll get back on our feet and that I’ll be doing everything I can to ensure a safe place to live and a happy life for Jane and our baby.  But it may not be until the end of the year before we get back on our feet.

As a soon-to-be daddy, I feel – heck, I am responsible for providing a great life for my beautiful pregnancy wife Jane and our soon-to-be born baby.

Now I know many of you may not agree with me on what I’m about to say…

I have a feeling that Jane’s parents would offer us a loan that would keep us afloat for a few months while I work my tail off trying to get things going, but I cannot and will not go that route.  For me, I know this may sound crazy, but I feel like that would be taking the easy way out and open a can of worms I’d rather not open.

And believe it or not, it would be more stressful for me knowing that we owe Jane’s parents money than having to pack up and move into a house 1/3 of the size of what we’re in now.  When it comes to borrowing money from friends/family, each time I’ve been involved in a transaction on either side, things did not go well at all.  In fact, I don’t talk to any of those people I’ve loaned money from or have loaned money to.  So I have a bad taste in my mouth going that route.

Although I shouldn’t take 100% full responsibility for our financial collapse because it is in fact directly related to the economy, but I do.  As a recently married couple, in a new house, with a baby on the way, we should be all gitty and getting ready to start working on the nursery in 2 weeks once we find out if we’re having a boy or girl.

But instead, I’ll be packing up all of our stuff to move somewhere else.  To go from owning a nice, big, and beautiful house to becoming a renter stings – and it stings a lot.

However, Jane and I have talked a lot about it.  And after a lot of tears shed, we know that deep down it’s the right move – and we know deep down that we’ll bounce back.  Take one step back then two steps forward as the saying goes…

I feel funny about sharing all of this here.  And in the past when I’ve posted about my stress and our financial situation, the moment I click on “publish” I get a weird feeling in my stomach.  I feel like I’m exposing too much.  I feel like I’m standing there naked in the middle of Times Square in New York City.

But on the other side of the coin, what we’re going through right now is all directly related to our baby.  We’ll always do anything and everything for our little one – and we’ve already started.  This is all part of our journey to parenthood.  And someday in 17-20 years when we sit down with our child and show him/her these blog posts, s/he will hopefully be even more proud of his/her parents.

We haven’t met you yet, but we’re already doing everything we can to make sure you’ll be safe and happy.  And if you are reading this 17-20 years down the road or whenever, I want you to keep in mind everything your mom and dad did for you – even before you were born.  And especially keep this in mind before you buy us Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and Christmas presents. :)

You might also want to read:

  1. Pregnancy Week By Week: Weeks 36, 37, 38 Pregnant Belly Pictures Added.
  2. What do you call your baby during the weeks of your pregnancy? Peanut? Bean? Sweet Pea?
  3. Father-to-be thoughts about first times and last times.
  4. Tarzan’s Ultimate Guide To Baby Sizes Week-By-Week For Soon-To-Be Fathers
  5. The BIG question pregnant parents ask each other 1,273 times… at least

Facebook comments:

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

1 ALicia Mommy of 5 Sweeties!

Definetly agree with teh ginger it saved my life! 100% All you need to do is make sure the water is cold add FRESH Ginger not alot just a tiny bit along with a fresh slice of lemon and wallah :) LIFE SAVER! Also have you and Janegiven thought’s on a birth PLAN when i had my first which seems like age’s ago i never ven thought or had heard of a birth plan LOL now 5 children later i feel i would never again go in blind sided! I used a mid-wife with my last 4 children all born at the hospital LOL and again it was the best choice for me NO PAIN MEDS with all 5 natural child birth so if you and jane ever wanna chat about pain meds vs natural birth i am always here! There is also a wonderful site ivillage.com for expecting moms that is awesome jane should check it out!

huge hugs
ALicia

2 Jane Blogs

I really admire what you’re doing here, not only in sharing your pregnancy with the world, but in sharing all the other worries and woes you’re both going through as a part of that.

My husband and I bought a property (with 2 houses) with my mother when I was 2mths pregnant and it was a disaster.
I had suffered from depression and chronic fatigue syndrome for years, but the stress of the situation nearly ended our marriage.
We even moved into a rental property and tried renting our little house out.
In the end, after $2000 worth of marriage counselling & plenty of debt from the rental fiasco, we finally sold the property.
Now, two and a half years later, we’ve just bought our first home (we look at it that way, anyway), and have a much better relationship with my mother.

I feel so very lucky that all of the relationships involved survived and actually came out stronger and better in the end, but I would never advise anyone to borrow money from friends or family.
Even if we had to live in a one bedroom flat, we would have done this by ourselves, so I totally understand your decision.

Here’s hoping Jane’s morning sickness gets better soon, at the very least. ;)

Jane Blogs’s last blog post..Once was enough

3 Tarzan

@TechyDad … Man, I hope so. I hate to admit, but I’m one who has never given blood because of my weak stomach when it comes to that stuff. So strange, isn’t it? I know we’re in for some crazy stuff when it comes to the baby. And man… funny how you mention it, but my biggest fear is projectile anything – poop, throw up, you name it. Freaks me out. I just have this image of holding our baby and stuff shooting out everywhere, getting on the walls, floor, celling, dog, furniture, and even the neighbors house! I guess it’s good to know that over time you get used to that stuff… I think… lol

@ Crysi … You and Jane are in the same boat. :( Do you get headaches? Jane still has hers going on 2 days straight now.

@Dawn … Well thank you. Yeah, it’s too easy to take the ‘easy way out’. You never get far in life taking all the shortcuts. Sometimes you have to travel those long, dark, bumpy roads, even knowing the journey is going to be tough. And I’m doing all I can to think in abundance. :) So funny how I know all that stuff and how I’ve gotten so off track over the last several months. Good thing I know my way back there… and of course, it’s one of the long, bumpy, and dark roads! Also, thanks for the recipe!

@ NeedsAStickyBaby … Wow. Jane’s and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband. Sounds like we’re going through a lot of the same things right now. Take some DEEP breaths as many times as you can think of throughout the day. I’ve done all I could to shield Jane from everything – especially during the first trimester. And I think that may be part of why I reached a 9.9 out of 10 on the stress scale. I kept it all bottled up to make sure she stayed happy and never felt stress. That was VERY hard for me. Do everything you can to keep your stress levels down. VERY important, but you know that. :)

Maybe you, your husband, Jane, and I should start our own little colony in the woods somewhere and not have to worry about money, taxes, stress, etc. It could be a little village where pregnant couples live while awaiting the arrival of their little one. We’d kinda be like the Smurfs I guess. Maybe that’s how they got started?

4 NeedsAStickyBaby

I definitly feel your pain Tarzan. My husband and I have been living with my parents since mid December. We won a townhouse from my Aunt and were supposed to be living here just until she left. Well she left on Sunday (a month after she was supposed to) and on Thursday we realized we probably have to sell the house. I owned a house for 4 days. This townhouse was the answer to our prayers what with the surprise pregnancy. My parents are self-employed business owners and have been hit hard, so no help there. My mom doesn’t even know I am pregnant! She has chronic kidney disease stage III and I worry for her health, especially since I have had alot of compilcations.

My husband lost his job this month and despite close to 50 applications has not found one yet. Mechanics are horribly underpaid here and so hes looking into another field. I am so stressed and feel like I should be working or helping some how, when I am a full-time student with 18 credit hours. It’s so hard not to stress about everything right now. My chances of losing the baby are still rather high and stress isn’t helping me or my peanut.

So anyway, lets hope some luck hits both of us, and soon.

5 Dawn

If it makes you feel better (and really who cares what I, some stranger on the Internet, thinks) I feel you’re doing the right thing not borrowing the $. I admire people who can ‘do it themselves’ even in tough times.
You’re also on the right track with ‘lack attracts lack.’ :) Keep thinking positive.

And try some ginger ale for Jane…Here’s a recipe. http://blogs.babiesonline.com/pregnancy/homemade-ginger-ale/ That should be 1/2 cup sugar–formatting messed it up.

6 Crysi

Yep, empty belly and pregnancy do not mix. I’ve been having that problem big time. I always have to make sure I eat something just before going to bed and hope it holds out until morning. Otherwise, I’m running for the bathroom. The other morning, I didn’t make it and had to change wash the comforter.

Crysi’s last blog post..Finger Paint

7 TechyDad

It might be a small thing overall, but you likely won’t need to worry about nausea when cleaning up “gross messes” for too much longer. If there’s one sure thing that I’ve learned as a father, it’s that your “that’s gross” level rises dramatically. When we took our first pregnancy test, I got nauseous just holding the cup of urine. I didn’t need to actually touch it or anything, but the mere thought that pee was in the cup in my hands made me want to hurl. Now, I can wipe butts from massive diaper explosions with no problem.

The fun part is when Parent Gross Indicators collide with Nonparent Gross Indicators. My wife and I can sit down for a meal and talk about how, when NHL was a child, he had projectile poops that stained our apartment’s carpet. Any non-parent within earshot will turn green and lose their appetite. (Useful if you want the last of the fries. ;-) ) Our parent brains, however, have gotten used to a different definition of “gross.”

TechyDad’s last blog post..My Grandmother: A Life In Photos

8 Tarzan

Hey Lisa,

Thanks so much! That’s a good point you bring up… sharing a lot of these personal details and things I’m going through here may help some other soon-to-be fathers sometime. Thanks for that – makes me feel a little better opening up so much (NOT an easy thing for a guy to do as all women know!) lol

And yes, I just gave Jane crackers and she has a big cup of water she’s sipping on. She’s sitting on the couch right now watching Ellen. :)

9 Lisa Lauffer

Hey, Tarzan…

Thanks for sharing so vulnerably here. I think you’re feeling quite normal given what you’re facing, and your sharing will allow other dads-to-be to acknowledge and own their feelings. You are offering such a great gift here.

I hope Jane feels better and that all goes smoothly with the house sale. Everything will turn out okay somehow, and most importantly, you already have your little one to love. Nothing can change that!

P.S. Make sure Jane stays hydrated!

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