Going on vacation is always fun, but stepping away from reality & coming right back into it is very hard for me. Like others, I almost need a vacation from my vacation.
Tarzan & I were in Vegas without Monkey. It was a great time, complete with no schedules, routines, or other people to worry about. The biggest decisions were what kind of drinks to order, what shows to see, & what table to gamble on. It was such a change from my current reality & it was a very nice & well-needed break.
But then real life came crashing down once our plane touched down in Houston. We had to meet my mom to pick up Monkey & found ourselves immediately rushing around. Nothing in Vegas was rushed, so being thrusted back into it pretty much [click to continue…]
I just thought of a memory that seemed to happen much longer than just 5 months ago. It was when I was suffering from postpartum depression & Monkey was about a month old.
I had a ton of questions about breastfeeding: if I was doing it right, if Monkey was getting enough milk, and all the other questions that new moms have when they are breastfeeding.
One of my “newer” friends volunteered to come over & try to help me out. When she came over, my dog was acting super [click to continue…]
Right after Monkey was born I wished, more than anything, that I had a job to return to after maternity leave. Obviously there were a lot of issues (postpartum depression, anyone?) going on within me to make me dread hanging out with my son & wishing for a job that I didn’t have.
So now, being 17 weeks into being a stay at home mom, are my feelings still the same? Not at all.
But, are there days or moments in the day when I wish I could escape? Absolutely. Especially this afternoon.
Before I get into the story, I just want to say that my husband and I are in [click to continue…]
Last November 17th, I could be found in my bathroom bawling my eyes out. I remember it all perfectly: I had a feeling that I was pregnant, but I was making deals with God to let it not be true. My husband was out, at Barnes & Noble I think, and I decided that it was time to face my fears.
I went into my bathroom with a pregnancy test. I was nervous as hell & prayed that the infamous plus sign would not show up. As soon as I was finished peeing on the stick I saw the plus sign.
I was pregnant.
Oh holy [click to continue…]
I’ve had a rough past two days, but it has nothing to do with Monkey or Tarzan. It has to do with my dad. Surprise, Surprise. I am at my wit’s end right now with what to do. Tomorrow marks eight weeks since my dad has talked to me.
To say that this whole mess doesn’t bother me is an understatement. It bothers me so much, but I just don’t know what to do about the whole situation. I had a breakdown the other day while talking to one of my best friends on the phone. I feel so many different things: sad, angry, hurt, confusion, and the list goes on.
I cannot, for the life of me, understand what [click to continue…]
All of a sudden many people around me are about to have their babies. I’ve heard so much about how excited Andrea is, and how Caroline can’t wait to meet her son right away, and on and on.
I’m so happy for all these expecting friends, but I can’t help but feel just a little sad for myself. Why?
Because I feel like I missed out on that initial bond & feeling the excitement of meeting my son for the first time.
Don’t get me wrong – I was [click to continue…]
The other night I went out with my best friend. I was so excited & hardly had time to think about what I was going to wear. After all, it was my first girl’s night out and I was more excited about that so I really forgot to look in my closet to see what I had to wear.
My friend came over and we looked in my closet, trying to find something for me to wear. I have a lot of clothes… I mean, a lot. However I do not own any “fat” clothes.
And since I just had a baby, this [click to continue…]
Going to see my postpartum depression therapist is like going to the gym. I dread getting ready & actually driving there, but once I’m there it’s fabulous. Today was no different.
I walked into my postpartum depression therapy appointment ready to tell my therapist that I no longer needed her assistance, but left my appointment signed up for a women’s group for eight weeks. Go figure.
I had a great appointment today. The postpartum depression isn’t my [click to continue…]
Progress today!
I’ve been “real” with two neighbors. Ah yes, being “real” is getting easier and easier, but I have to wonder… When does being “real” turn into having word vomit?
Hmm…
It’s like when you run into a co-worker while getting coffee in the break room and said co-worker asks [click to continue…]
Dear my little Monkey,
Happy two month old birthday little guy! You have grown and changed in the past two months of life already & I’m in constant amazement of you. You make me smile & the love I have for you keeps growing daily.
You’ve smiled at me numerous times & I wouldn’t change that for anything in the world. I feel like I’m getting a bit rewarded for feeding you and changing your diapers and I just love it!
Yesterday was a big day for you, well actually [click to continue…]
= a post from Mommy Jane 
= a post from Daddy Tarzan
