Man, oh man.  Morning sickness has already graced my presence… and I can’t say that I was thrilled to be vomiting in a bucket.  Monkey and I went out to lunch with one of my friends and everything was fine.  We walked around after, went to a few stores, and I was a-okay.

Then when I got home, BAM.  It was like my body was just waiting for me to be home so that I could let it all out.  Literally.

I felt nauseous.  I had to sit down right away, rather lay down on the couch.  It was bad.  One throw up led to another and another and another.  Yep, four times total.  I was scared of becoming dehydrated, so I ate a popsicle.  Bad move.  It came up too.

(And just for the record, I thought that I remembered that corn nuts helped me last time.  Well, let’s just say that I ate some and they are absolutely disgusting coming back up.)

I went to bed and prayed that I would sleep all night and wake up feeling better… and I did.

Of course, I might as well be pregnant for the first time because I don’t remember for the life of me how sick, or if I was sick a lot last time around.  I need to go back on this blog and see how sick I was.  Tarzan remembers me being sick frequently, but I remember being sick just a handful of times.  Ahh, it’s so easy to forget the bad times, isn’t it?

I’m not that far along, but I guess morning sickness can start right away.  Everything becomes fair game.  I read that morning sickness can be there even before people miss their period.  Those pregnancy hormones floating around in our bodies are crazy!

Oh and I have no idea exactly how far along I am.  Based on when we had sex, I should be 5 weeks pregnant this coming Saturday.  Based on my last period, I should be 5 weeks pregnant today.  Guess I’ll find out when I have my first appointment, which I obviously need to schedule now.

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37 weeks pregnant and reminiscing… Prior to actually being pregnant, there were a few things that I associated with those particular 9 months.  I thought of the pregnancy glow, pregnancy hair, morning sickness, desserts, getting some special attention (not gonna lie), Mexican food (seriously yum), gaining pregnancy weight, pregnancy fatigue, swollen pregnancy feet and hands, stretch marks, big boobs, pregnancy sex, and nesting.

I never got the lovely pregnancy glow that I’ve heard about.  And while a few people have said, “You are just glowing” I know that they are full of crap.  The pregnancy glow is just not there and now that I’m nearing the end of my pregnancy at 37 weeks, I am simply okay with this.  (But I do have my fingers crossed that I am graced by the pregnancy glow the next time around!)

I did get the pregnancy hair, but it’s not exactly what I was thinking it would be.  I’ve always had thick hair.  I will admit, it’s nice hair that I have.  Long, shiny, thick, and all the other adjectives that go along with what you think of when you hear pregnancy hair.  Since my hair has always been thick, being pregnant has made it even more thick, which translates to a lot of hotness in the summer time, which means many, many ponytails.

It’s quite sad really, I went from styling my hair to putting it up in a ponytail all of the time.  In my mind that tells me that I need a haircut.  No one should wear their hair in a pony daily; it’s just not good.

My husband, on the other hand, is not onboard with me.  Not in the sense that he’s one of those weirdo ones that controls what the wife does, but he just asked me if I would wait until after having the baby… you know, to make sure that it’s not my hormones talking right now.

Perhaps he’s just a smart man and realizes that every single time I’ve ever cut my hair drastically I’ve hated it.  And this is over 6 years worth of haircuts.  I have agreed to listen and wait… but it does not mean that I’m enjoying it one bit.

Morning sickness.  I had it and I hated it.  Sure, it could have been worse, but no matter what level of morning sickness you have when pregnant – it just really sucks.  Throwing up and feeling nauseous are two things that I could have done without.  And I do not buy that line that people tell you to make you feel better:  Morning sickness just means that your baby is really healthy.  Yeah, right.  In my mind, that’s a crock of shit.

Desserts.  I will say (proudly, even) that I have really come to love desserts while being pregnant.  Desserts have never been a regular part in my diet prior to being knocked up so I have really enjoyed partaking when I feel like it lately.  Now that I’m at the end of my pregnancy, I have really been taking full advantage because once this baby is out, it’ll be bye-bye to the dessert world for a while.

Getting special attention, no matter how big or little, has also been nice.  While there have been people who have completely overstepped their boundaries, those stories were too far and few to focus on.  I like the extra smiles from people, the not so annoying questions or conversation starters, the door openers, and everything else that is pregnant when you see someone that is clearly pregnant.  It’s nice to know that there are still nice, caring, and decent people still in the world, despite all of the bad we hear so often.

Mexican food is delightful.  Being from Texas, it’s like a rule to like/love Tex-Mex.  Being pregnant has just completely magnified my love for Mexican food though.  It sounds good to me day and night.  Too bad that my husband isn’t as big of a fan of it, but he’s a good sport most of the time.

I’ve always known and been okay with the fact that people gain weight when pregnant.  It’s just what happens and it’s not a big deal at all.  Back in the second trimester there was a 4-week period that I gained 9 pounds.  Even though I’m okay with gaining weight, that was a lot to swallow for some reason.

Once I got over myself and realized that it was fine (and that it was the only 9 pound month I’ve had), I haven’t worried about the scale at all.  There is not one good, valid reason that I can think of as far as why I should care.  My OB isn’t worried about my weight and I’m not either.  It’s just the losing part after pregnancy that I am dreading.

Pregnancy fatigue is an interesting one.  In the beginning I don’t remember ever feeling like “Oh my gosh I need to sleep now”.  I do think that part of this is because I don’t have a job to go to daily.  If I don’t sleep well at night, I can always take a nap during the day.  But I really expected to get hit with the pregnancy fatigue bug in the third trimester.  It seems like I’ve heard from everyone just how tired and sleepy I should be.  But I’m not.  At all.  In fact, I feel like I am the same that I’ve been previously (minus being a whole lot slower).  I tend to lean towards the side of insomniac, if anything.

I always, always, always associated being swollen on some body part towards the end of the third trimester with pregnancy.  Again, not so true.  (Or maybe I’ve just been lucky thus far.)  My hands and feet are bigger, but not necessarily swollen.  My ankles are the same way too.  I feel like everything just grew a size (or two) larger, but nothing is swollen and fat.  I don’t have cankles and I’m hoping it stays that way.

Stretch marks fit into the same category as swollen limbs.  I was always afraid of having a big pregnant belly because I thought it automatically meant stretch marks would be present.  I was wrong.  I don’t know if it’s genetics, the cream I use, or the fact that I’m just one of the lucky ones, but I don’t have any to report.  (And to all of you that have left me comments saying that you got them after delivering, no offense, but I hope that I don’t join you in that.  I will continue to do the same thing I’m doing and hope that it works.  LOL.)

At the end of my first trimester (I think) I posted a blog post about having porn-star boobs.  It was like they grew overnight back then.  Since that first trimester’s growth, I have had nothing to report.  They stopped growing.  I went up one size (so far) and they’ve been at a standstill ever since.  Of course, they might have changed some, but do to my ever-growing belly, maybe I just have not noticed.

Pregnancy sex is something that hasn’t happened all of the time like I thought it would.  I’ll spare you the details because we’ve blogged enough about it, but I want to focus on sex in the third trimester.  Now I don’t know about you, but sex in the third trimester should just be put to rest until after the baby comes.  I mean, really.  I can’t speak for all pregnant ladies, but it’s just not enjoyable for me this late in the game.  It’s awkward trying to find a good position, not to mention how unflattering some of the positions can be.

I will admit that I completely ruin some of the moments during sex because I have to pee so badly.  I’ll ask Tarzan, “Uh, are you close?”  If he says that he is, then I will be a good sport and hold it for a little bit.  If he isn’t, then we must pull apart and I waddle off to the bathroom.  There was one time in particular when he, um, finished, and then I was like “help me up NOW because I have to pee”.  He helped me up, I went to the bathroom, and it was almost orgasmic to just pee.  And I’m not kidding.

And finally, the last term that I associated so often with being pregnant is the infamous nesting that you hear about.  Like the lack of the pregnancy glow, nesting has not been a part of my pregnant life.  Haven’t you read my post on the dirty dishes?!  I really got excited about the whole nesting experience, if for nothing else than to just give my house a good cleaning.  It’s weird to say, but I was excited about getting the urge to clean the ceilings at 2 am.  I have heard from some that nesting might kick in as labor approaches, so maybe there is still some hope for me after all!

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Thank God this pregnancy blog is anonymous… that’s all I have to say.

Today I mustered up the energy to try to find curtains for the nursery.  I went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to look around.  I couldn’t make up my mind so I bought 3 different ones to bring home to see what Tarzan thought about them.

Oh but this story isn’t about curtains, I’m just setting it up so that you understand I was out running errands.

Basically it’s like a freakin’ sauna outside in Houston right now.  Seriously, I never ever ever remember June being this hot, but then again I’ve never been pregnant in June either.

I had the a/c blasting because I could not get cool.  It was at 68 degrees and on full blast to try to make me chilly.  It did not work, by the way.

I was wearing these pants and the material is really light (in my defense).  Combine lightweight pants with leather seats in the car and I’m going to tell you right now, it’s just not a good situation.  At all.

I picked up Chick-fil-A for lunch and then came straight home.  I was miserable.  Tarzan came out to the garage to help me bring in our lunch and my BB&B bag and I told him that I felt like my butt was sweating.  He looked at my butt and told me that it was.

WHAT??

There was no way that I believed him and I was convinced that he was just kidding.  Well, that was until I came inside and looked in the mirror in the bathroom.

My husband was not kidding.

I was so hot that it went through my underwear and there was a nice wet spot on the back of my pants.  Can you believe that?  

Even worse, can you imagine if I wouldn’t have come right home?  I would have been the laughing stock of wherever I was at the time.

How freakin’ embarrassing.

So not only has pregnancy made me feel huge, made my feet grow two sizes, given me migraines, made my hair so insanely long and thick, caused me to vomit and feel nauseous for many, many weeks (loved morning sickness), made me to (at times) be a psycho b!tch, and numerous other things, but now I can add sweaty butt to the list as well.

Thank God I’m near the end.

Moral of the story for myself and for all you pregnant ladies:  Make sure that your pants are a little thicker when running errands, you need to be prepared.  Also you might want to carry another pair of pants with you… you know, just in case you are one of the “lucky” pregnant ones like me.  

Joy.

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Jane is now 21 weeks pregnant and over the last few days she’s been getting those “flutters” in her pregnant belly everyone has told her about.  She was starting to get jealous of others feeling their baby kick at 18 weeks pregnant, and some even earlier!  But pregnancy week 21 has brought many baby kicks and flutters!

Also, baby Tarzan is about the size of a beer bottle according to my handy Baby Size Guide For Father’s-To-Be.

In fact, this morning Pregnant Jane told me that when she went to bed last night baby Tarzan was kicking a lot – the most EVER!  She wanted to see if she could feel it when she put her hand on his belly so she could yell up to me (I was hard at work in my office) and ask me to put my hand on her belly.

But every time she put her hand on her belly, he’d stop kicking.  That’s my boy!  He’s taking after me already.  He’s active at night and already showing signs of being stubborn!

All in all, pregnant week 20 and pregnant week 21 has been a breeze.  Morning sickness, nausea, and headaches are a thing of the past… everything has been smooth sailing over the last few weeks.  Well… except for one thing, which I will talk about in a moment…

Now I know every pregnancy is different.  Some woman have nausea and morning sickness ALL throughout their pregnancy while others have none.  And then I’ve heard about pregnant woman who have nausea and morning sickness during their first trimester, they’re fine during their second trimester, and then the third trimester brings all of the nausea and morning sickness back.

(KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK)  That’s me knocking on some wood that Pregnant Jane stays in the clear throughout the rest of her pregnancy.

However… there is one little thing that has kicked into VERY, VERY high gear over the last few weeks in pregnancy week 20 and of course in pregnancy week 21.  And I bet you know what that is… yes, hormones!

We’ve gone from the fire-breathing dragon who wanted to kill me and fight with me at the drop of a dime to a Pregnant Jane who is now very, very emotional and cries very easily.  Pregnant Jane has become a very sensitive girl.  Very sensitive.  I have to watch what I say or how I say it sometimes because of how easy things can be taken the wrong way.

I’d take this during and after pregnancy week 21 over that fire-breathing dragon hormone flare-up any day!  At least with these types of hormone flare-ups, I get to hug her more and comfort her more.  :)

In other news, pregnancy week 21 has also started what I think to be one of the best pregnancy hormones ever created… the enhanced sexual drive hormones.  I’m starting to see the beginning of these wonderful, wonderful hormones kick in Pregnancy Jane.  Man, I was REALLY starting to think that the next time we’d have sex would be when we’re trying for baby # 2 a year or two down the road!

Let’s just say that I have a feeling that within the next few weeks I’m going to be in TROUBLE!  Something tells me that these new wonderful hyper-drive sex drive hormones that Jane is starting to get will be kicking into high gear very soon.  I’m of course very excited about this new phase of pregnancy.  It’s been so long that I was starting to think that I was going to have to buy the “Sex for Dummies” book to learn how to do everything again!

Now what will make all of this interesting is that I’m working like CRAZY right now on a new business I’ve started.  I’m working a LOT right now – usual cut-off time has been 3 AM.  I’ve got a million things to do and very little time to make it all happen as I have a small window of opportunity.  With that said, I’m on the phone all day, on the computer all day, working like crazy, and I have a feeling that Jane will be coming up to my office many times over the next several weeks to attack me while I’m in the middle of working!

However, I have a feeling that I’ll be OK with those kind of attacks a few times a week… or who knows… maybe a DAY!!!  :)

Well, I got to get back to work – I’m so, so, so thankful that Pregnant Jane is feeling good.  I would have NO idea what I’d do if she was sick with headaches, nausea, morning sickness, etc. and stuck in bed all day.  Taking care of her when she was like that during the first trimester was a full-time job at times and I felt so bad for her all the time – it was so hard to concentrate on anything because I was so worried about my beautiful wife.

She’s feeling great – and being the BEST and most supportive wife EVER as I work my tail off to get something good going for our family before baby Tarzan is born.  She’s making sure I’m fed, she’s my business consultant at times when I run ideas by her and ask her opinions on things, and she’s just the best wife ever.  I love her more and more every single day.

By the way… this is something that I’ll talk more about sometime… but pregnancy has brought Jane and I closer and has added many wonderful feelings and emotions to our relationship.  We’re falling deeper and deeper in love with each passing day.  We actually talked about this the other day briefly.  I’ve been thinking a lot about it and will be sharing my “pregnant thoughts from a dad-to-be” on a new blog post soon.  It’s really interesting stuff!

So yes, pregnancy week 21 is going good all around for Pregnant Jane, me, and baby Tarzan – who has become an active little bugger at night!  :)

Oh, also check out Jane’s Pregnant Belly Week By Week belly picture page we have going – it’s been updated with Jane’s pregnancy week 21 belly picture.

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I’m not liking this new trend we’re on.  When the clock hit midnight on the day Jane turned 14 week pregnant, she threw up like crazy.  And now today, Jane hit the Sweet 16 weeks of pregnancy, and she rang it in by throwing up several times.

She didn’t throw up once up until she hit 14 weeks pregnant, but since that day – she’s had some VERY rough days and early mornings.

Jane started to get a really bad headache yesterday and during the night it turned into a migraine.  The pain in her head was so bad it caused the nausea which in turn caused her to throw up.  I was hoping that Jane’s Sweet 16 weeks of being pregnant was going to be a smooth and easy day, but I was wrong.  Heck, for that matter, I thought that the second trimester was going to be smooth sailing.

When I woke up this morning, I walked out into the living room and saw Jane sleeping on the couch.  She woke up and I could tell that morning sickness / nausea was kicking her butt hard.  She didn’t look good.  We talked for a few minutes and she asked me to make her some toast and told me she had already through up a few times, but she hasn’t eaten yet.

If I’ve learned anything over the last few weeks, it’s that an empty belly and a pregnant women do not mix.  That’s a sure fast-track way to nausea land.

So I made her some toast and went to give it to her, but she wouldn’t take the plate.  ”Are you OK babe?”  No response.  I then heard a deep rumpling sound come from her belly that sounded like a very angry monster screaming in a dark, deep cave. 

Jane jumped up and ran to the bathroom…

She didn’t quite make it in there in time and we’ll just say missed the target.  I went in there and rubbed her back while she threw up.  Instantly those feelings began to emerge that I talked about in a recent blog post about pregnancy week 14.

I felt so bad for her.  I wished there was something that I could do.  I felt so helpless.

Jane went back into the living room and I went back into the bathroom armed with paper towels, cleaning supplies, a plastic bag, my shirt over my nose, and thoughts of walking on the beach dancing around in my mind of all things to avoid thinking about what I was doing.  My stomach had already done a few summersaults; I didn’t want to be praying to the porcelain God myself so I focused on the wonderful imaginary walk on the beach I was having.  Sounds crazy, but it worked.

By the time I got everything cleaned up, Jane was eating her toast.  And now, it’s been about an hour and Jane is feeling better.  Her headache is still there, but nothing like what it was.  She hasn’t thrown up.  And I’m hoping that today, the day my beautiful wife is Sweet 16 weeks pregnant, she feel better fast and has a wonderful nausea and headache-free day.

Sometime today we’ll take a picture of Jane for her 16 weeks pregnant belly picture.  I’m shocked how much her belly has grown over the last 2-3 weeks.  You can TOTALLY tell she’s pregnant now.  There’s no hiding it especially in Texas where you don’t need a winter jacket.

So yes, today our baby is the size of a small stud finder!  :)

Father-to-be update at the sweet 16 weeks of pregnancy

If you’re a frequent visitor to our little pregnancy blog here, you know that we’re having a tough time financially with the economy, business, and the huge doctor bills that we have to pay every month.  Dare I mention another *surprise* bill came in for Jane’s blood tests a month ago.  I called them telling them I already paid the bill there, the company doesn’t believe me so they’re making me fax the receipt over to them.

Scary thing is that the bill that was sent to us in the mail listed other tests that were not on the original pregnancy blood tests receipt.  So I’m hoping there is a mistake somewhere, or there goes another $300.  That’ll make this month the most expensive so far.  $550 for the doctors visit the other day, maybe another $300 for blood tests (I had already paid then $250 or something), and a whopping $900 in 2 weeks for the ultrasound to find out the sex of our baby and to make sure everything is A-OK with our baby.  That’s a whopping $1,750.

Where did I put that bottle of vodka?

Father-to-be Stress.  I’ve been walking a LOT lately; several miles a day.  Yesterday was at least 6-7 miles.  I’m doing all I can to try to keep my stress levels down.  I’m also reading a book written in 1950 about attracting good things into your life.  It’s helpful because more than anything else, I need to bring my mindset back to thinking about what I want for myself and my family rather than focusing on what is lacking in our lives.

What you focus on grows - and lately all I’ve been thinking about is the lack of money, the lack of feeling good, and being overwhelmed by stress.  So I’m working on that.

As far as our house, I have been spending time researching and planning out what we’ll be doing to sell.  It’s going to take a HUGE effort.  It’s going to take doing something no one else is doing to stand out like a sore thumb.  It’s going to take every creative juice I have swimming around in my head to get our house sold, but I’m feeling good about my ideas and plans.  We’ll start the process this weekend and work hard next week to see if we can sell it by next weekend.

I’ll admit… I’m embarrassed.  I’m ashamed.  I’m not looking forward to talking to Jane’s parents and telling them that we have to (or hopefully telling them that we sold) our house.  I’ll feel about the size of an ant when I talk to them about it.  Knowing me, after I tell them, before they say a word, I’ll be assuring them that we’ll get back on our feet and that I’ll be doing everything I can to ensure a safe place to live and a happy life for Jane and our baby.  But it may not be until the end of the year before we get back on our feet.

As a soon-to-be daddy, I feel – heck, I am responsible for providing a great life for my beautiful pregnancy wife Jane and our soon-to-be born baby.

Now I know many of you may not agree with me on what I’m about to say…

I have a feeling that Jane’s parents would offer us a loan that would keep us afloat for a few months while I work my tail off trying to get things going, but I cannot and will not go that route.  For me, I know this may sound crazy, but I feel like that would be taking the easy way out and open a can of worms I’d rather not open.

And believe it or not, it would be more stressful for me knowing that we owe Jane’s parents money than having to pack up and move into a house 1/3 of the size of what we’re in now.  When it comes to borrowing money from friends/family, each time I’ve been involved in a transaction on either side, things did not go well at all.  In fact, I don’t talk to any of those people I’ve loaned money from or have loaned money to.  So I have a bad taste in my mouth going that route.

Although I shouldn’t take 100% full responsibility for our financial collapse because it is in fact directly related to the economy, but I do.  As a recently married couple, in a new house, with a baby on the way, we should be all gitty and getting ready to start working on the nursery in 2 weeks once we find out if we’re having a boy or girl.

But instead, I’ll be packing up all of our stuff to move somewhere else.  To go from owning a nice, big, and beautiful house to becoming a renter stings – and it stings a lot.

However, Jane and I have talked a lot about it.  And after a lot of tears shed, we know that deep down it’s the right move – and we know deep down that we’ll bounce back.  Take one step back then two steps forward as the saying goes…

I feel funny about sharing all of this here.  And in the past when I’ve posted about my stress and our financial situation, the moment I click on “publish” I get a weird feeling in my stomach.  I feel like I’m exposing too much.  I feel like I’m standing there naked in the middle of Times Square in New York City.

But on the other side of the coin, what we’re going through right now is all directly related to our baby.  We’ll always do anything and everything for our little one – and we’ve already started.  This is all part of our journey to parenthood.  And someday in 17-20 years when we sit down with our child and show him/her these blog posts, s/he will hopefully be even more proud of his/her parents.

We haven’t met you yet, but we’re already doing everything we can to make sure you’ll be safe and happy.  And if you are reading this 17-20 years down the road or whenever, I want you to keep in mind everything your mom and dad did for you – even before you were born.  And especially keep this in mind before you buy us Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and Christmas presents.

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When certain people found out I was pregnant, they either asked questions that were bound to annoy the hell out of me, or they did weird things.  

Like my drunk aunt who went crazy over my belly (read: bloat) on Christmas.  I mean really, I was only 9w5d pregnant and there was nothing to fawn over.  

Oh, and by crazy, I mean she totally kissed my stomach up and down.  Now this is a relative, so I guess it’s a lot better than a complete stranger, but still.  It’s creepy and I would rather it not be done.  At all.

Now I realize my mom has the best intentions by calling me daily, sometimes more than once, to just ask, “How are you feeling?”, but again, why daily?  

Before you get on my case about being an insensitive brat, you should know that I am honored when she asks me that and I know that she cares, but there are only so many times and with so many people that I can answer that question.  

How about if I’m feeling bad, I will let you know… this way you don’t have to constantly ask.  Easy, right?

Last night I ran into my neighbor while out walking and she said that she wanted us to get together for dinner.  She said that she would email me about good dates for her.  Well, I got her email, along with a “I also invited blah and blah because she is pregnant and I thought y’all could trade stories.”  

Um, really?

Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean that I can’t associate with non-pregnant women.  It also does not mean that I only want to talk about being pregnant.  I am fully capable of being pregnant AND talking about all kinds of topics.  Don’t limit me just to pregnancy!  

Like at Christmas, my pregnant cousin asked, “So my aerolas are totally brown and I look like a black woman.  How are yours?  Also, do you have a lot of discharge?”  

Again, she asked this while eating freakin’ Christmas dinner.  Perhaps I’m not your “typical” pregnant woman, and I certainly don’t care to hear about your black lady boobs and discharge that comes from you vag.  Thank you very much.  

(Note:  perhaps this would be acceptable if we were close, but we aren’t.  She married my cousin last year and we only see each other during Thanksgiving and Christmas.  It’s a little too soon in our relationship to be talking about topics that include my boobs and my vagina.)

Suddenly, I went from being a very normal 28-year old that could and would talk about everything and anything to now being a 28-year old who only wants to talk about pregnancy, constipation, discharge, nips, and trade stories with other knocked up woman.  Sorry, not me!

I can only imagine what will happen when strangers try to touch my belly.  Again, yes, I’m with child, but no, you may reach out and touch because I’m pregnant.  Would you reach out to touch a normal belly on a stranger?  No.  You might get slapped.  Same scenario.  Just don’t. 

I’m sure there are a million other things that I could write about, but I’ll leave you with that for right now.  If you have any stories and/or annoyances about being pregnant, feel free to leave them in the comments so that I get a good giggle (and know that I’m not the only one.)

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Yesterday pregnancy kicked my a$s, but thankfully I’m back to normal today!  Why I felt so bad with morning sickness yesterday, at 14 weeks pregnant, I don’t know.  So strange.  

I did do some research today and it seems like morning sickness doesn’t matter what week of pregnancy you are in.  Nice to know.  Damn morning sickness.

I went to bed Monday night feeling weird.  Not totally sick, but I not totally right either.  I had some high hopes of waking up the next morning and feeling a lot better.  

That didn’t happen.

I woke up with a horrible headache and the same funny feeling I had the night before.  It was the same feeling that I had while eating that salad at the hotel on Thursday night.  

Anyways, I lay on the couch waiting for the 30 minutes to pass after taking my thyroid pill so that I could eat, I felt really nauseous.  I figured I was just hungry and it would pass once I ate breakfast (happens frequently since I have to wait 30 minutes to eat).

Well I had a bagel and some blueberries and felt even worse.  I put my laptop down on the coffee table and told Tarzan to “bring me a bucket quick”.  He did and it was at the perfect time because the vomit was coming up and wouldn’t wait even a second longer.  

Needless to say, my whole day was spent in bed throwing up, feeling extremely nauseous, and having a really bad headache.  It was by far the worst day of being pregnant so far… and hopefully the last.

Poor Tarzan was a complete wreck, but still a good sport.  I’ll spare you all the vomit details, but just keep me in your thoughts that another day like that doesn’t happen.  

And to all of you that experience morning sickness in the worst way possible, know that I feel so sorry for you.  I hope it gets better soon.  Hang in there because not all days are bad ones… and the best part about it all is the reason you are sick.  

The little baby growing in your belly.

I even told T after I was done puking my guts out that in a strange way it felt good to feel really sick like that from pregnancy.  It sort of made me feel like everything is A-OK in my ute and that put just a tiny smile on my nauseous, vomity face.  

PS – In the midst of feeling sorry for myself and crying yesterday, I looked up at Tarzan with tears in my eyes and vomit  dripping from my mouth and said, “If I can’t handle this, how am I going to push a baby out of my vag.?”

He said, “You need to start doing prenatal yoga to learn how to breathe.”

My response, “Uh, not what I was looking for.”  :(

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I feel so bad for my wonderful and beautiful 14 week pregnant wife.  She started to feel a little nausea and “morning sickness” kick in late last night.  She slept OK, but shortly after she woke up this morning she was throwing up.

She then felt a little better and then the nausea kicked in again.  She’s been in bed all day today throwing up.  

I feel like a lost puppy dog.  I don’t handle people being sick too well.  I get really nervous, worked up, I feel so bad for the person (especially when it’s your 14-week pregnant wife!), and my stomach churns when I see or hear her.

She’s tried to eat a few things like some vegetable broth, a popsicle, and a bagel at different times.  All of which have come right back up a short time after.

Jane didn’t throw up once because of her morning sickness or nausea (are those the same thing?) all throughout her pregnancy.  But literally at the moment the clock struck midnight and she was officially 14 weeks pregnant, she threw up and felt horrible all night and was in bed the entire day the next day.

I feel so bad for her.  I feel so helpless.  I don’t know what to do.  I really hope this will pass soon because I couldn’t stand seeing Jane get sick all throughout her pregnancy.  The biggest reason I hope this nausea passes is because I want my fun, happy, energetic Jane back, and I want her to feel good more than anything else.

14 Weeks Pregnant: What Is The Deal With Nausea And Morning Sickness Happening Now???

Seriously, I thought we were in the clear!  For some reason I thought that if you made it through the first trimester that the nausea and morning sickness would go away.  But here we are in the second trimester and Jane’s pregnancy is hitting her hard.  Man… I just feel so bad for her.

My stomach just goes in knots like crazy when I see my soon-to-be mommy cry.  It tears me up inside and I wish there was something I could do to make her feel better.

I even had the thought today while I was holding Jane’s hair for her while she threw up that I never ever wanted to put her through this again.  I actually began to feel guilt for getting her pregnant.  It was like I was blaming myself for making her feel so sick.  Now I know I shouldn’t feel that way at all.  I know that sometimes women get nausea and morning sickness when they are pregnant, and I know it’s not “my fault“.

But I still felt that way.  I wonder if any other soon-to-be dad’s felt that before?  It’s a very strange feeling.  And I guess it’s normal to feel like that because no one wants to see their wife so sick, crying, and not feeling well at all.

It’s amazing the number of new emotions both a soon-to-be mom and dad feel during pregnancy.  Sometimes I don’t know what they mean or what to do with them. 

So compared to all pregnancy weeks thus far, pregnancy week 14 has been the toughest.  I’m really looking forward to this Friday.  Jane will hit the magic pregnancy week 15 – which I’m hoping will be an end to this nausea and morning sickness.

Feel better Jane.

Update: 4:25 p.m. Jane is throwing up like crazy. Worried that she is going to get dehydrated.  She is sending me to the store to get some thing for her.  I’m stressing out between her pregnancy nausea, work, bills, house, and  million other things.  Off to the store.

Update: 6:27 p.m. I had to go to a few different stores to find some special pine nuts and popsicles for Jane.  After striking out at a couple of convenience stores for popsicles, I went to the grocery store.  I can’t stand the grocery store.  I never know where anything is.  The last time I was in there I nearly hit the floor when I saw that milk is up to $5.00 a gallon now.  The time before that has been a long, long time.

I grabbed two pregnancy magazines for Jane and the items she wanted me to get her: popsicles, pine nuts, Coke, and peppermints.  The chewy kind.  Of course, after searching the whole store I finally ask someone where the chewy peppermints are located.  After 5 minutes of searching through the candy aisle, I call it quits and grab a bag of normal peppermints.

Finally, I get home, give Jane the pine nuts (she read somewhere, maybe this blog or on her Twitter account that a woman sucked on pine nuts to aid with nausea and morning sickness) got her a Coke, gave her a popsicle, the two magazines, peppermints, and a kiss.

About 20 minutes or so later, she comes walking out of the bedroom.  She tried sucking on the pine nuts, but she ate them all.  She ate the popsicle.  She drank some Coke.  And they are all staying down.  Thank goodness.

She was going to take her prenatal vitamin, but decided against it just in case and will take it when she eats some toast later.

Man… what a day.  I’m working like a mad-man on a project that will be launching soon for a client.  I’ve been up until 3 a.m. every morning for the last few days working on it.  And it’s what I’ve been working on all day long the last few days.

We have a LOT riding on the success of this little deal.  How much?  Oh… just about freaking EVERYTHING!  My stress levels are super dangerously high.  Kinda scary, but doing my best to keep calm.

They say video killed the radio star.  Huh.  I say the economy is killing the average Joe trying to make it on his or her own.  If the deal above flops (which I’ll know within the next 8-10 days) then we’ve got to sell… our… &%#$!#… house.  Fast.  All the while we see another house go up for sale on our street every week.  And they all sit there… and sit there…

This pregnancy blog was created with the full intention to blog about Jane’s and my pregnancy journey.  Never expected to go so deep into our personal lives.  That alone locks it in FOREVER that we’ll never share this blog with our friends.

No one knows we’re right on the edge.  No one knows besides our parents that we don’t have maternity insurance.  All of our friends think we do OK for ourselves and have no clue what we’re going through right now.

And our parents… they have no clue about what we’re going through right now on the financial side of things and I truly hope they never ever do.  It’s HIGHLY embarrassing for me.  Things used to be VERY OK for us when business was good.  That’s how people were used to seeing us.  That’s how we were used to seeing us.  Things are different now.  Very different.

After all, I’m a guy.  I’m imbedded with the instinct to do all I can to support my family.  And I have  (currently ‘had’) a lot of pride for the life I created for Jane and I.   Sometimes it’s one hell of an inner battle I have to fight with myself to keep my head up.  But I’m driven because Jane is pregnant.  I’m driven because I have a baby on the way.  I’m driven because I want to make both my wife and baby happy.  But s***, sometimes it’s really a fight, especially with falling down business/career-wise over and over and over and over agin for a year straight now.

It’s like I keep picking up the square peg and I try to put it in the round hole… over and over and over…

But no matter how many times I fall, I keep dusting myself off and standing back up again, time and time again.  And I will continue to do so for my family; no matter what.  No matter how hard things get.

Man.  There’s so much more to everything than I thought as mentioned in an earlier blog post where I shared some of my personal thoughts and fears about fatherhood and parenthood.

Wow.  Started off talking about Jane and her nausea and look what’s happened.  I’ve had my own therapy session with myself on this blog.  Weird.  OK – back to work.

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 Since a long waiting period is involved before you can find out the sex of the baby you are carrying, pregnancy old wives tales can provide a little insight and most of all, they are fun.  All pregnancy old wives tales have a 50/50 chance of being correct, so why not have a little fun with them.  

I know that we can’t wait to find out what we are having.  Just a couple more weeks of waiting and then we’ll know if we are having a boy or girl, and if any of these pregnancy old wives tales were correct.  Try not to put too much faith in these old wives tales though; they really won’t be accurate and like I said, they are mostly for fun!

Here’s a list of 51 pregnancy old wives tales:

Old Wives Tale #1:  Heartburn

If a pregnant woman experiences heartburn throughout the 9 months of pregnancy, she’ll have a baby born with a full head of hair.  

Old Wives Tale #2: Umbilical Cord

If a pregnant woman lifts her hands above her head or does stretches above her hand, she will choke the baby because the umbilical cord will be wrapped around the baby.    The truth of this pregnancy wives tale is that the umbilical cord can wrap around the baby if the baby moves a lot while in the uterus, but it does not happen if you move a lot or stretch above your head.  The baby gets tangled in the umbilical cord in about 1/3 of all births, so it’s not so uncommon.

Old Wives Tale #3:  Cravings Curse

This old wives tale is fun to hang over Tarzan’s head.  Basically if anyone denies a pregnant woman whatever she is craving, they will get a sty in his/her eye.  Personally, I think all men should read this and always give into whatever us pregnant women want!  For their own benefit, of course.

Old Wives Tale #4:  Heart Rate

If the baby’s heart rate is above 140 bpm, it is said that the baby will be a girl.  If it is under 140 bpm, then it will be a boy.  At our last appointment, the heart rate was 168 bpm, so maybe we’re having a little girl?

Old Wives Tale #5:  Ugly Baby

This wives tale is weird.  If a pregnant woman sees something ugly, she will have an ugly baby.  Um, ok.

Old Wives Tale #6:  Coffee

If a baby is born with light-brown birthmarks, it is said that the mom drank too much coffee or had unfulfilled cravings while she was pregnant.

Old Wives Tale #7:  Sex

This old wives tale is actually not a myth.  Sex is healthy for most pregnant women and is also good in getting the cervix ready for labor.  If you are nearing or have past your due date, your OB might recommend that you start playing around in the bed.

Old Wives Tale #8:  Baths

Anyone who thinks that pregnant women should refrain from taking baths is crazy.  Baths are a-ok and even helpful when it comes to relaxing and easing some back pain.  The only thing that my OB said was to be careful that I didn’t sit in too hot of water.  She said that anything over 100 degrees was too hot and to be careful that my skin didn’t turn red.

This old wives tale began because it was thought that water would seep in to the baby and bring bacteria.  It’s been determined that water does not enter the vag. during a bath.

Old Wives Tale #9:  Wearing a Lei

This Hawaiian superstition relates to the lei causing the umbilical cord to wrap around the baby.  Of course, it’s crazy and makes no sense why you could not wear a lei.  

Old Wives Tale #10:  Boiling Water

Many people use to believe that boiling water was needed to be nearby the pregnant woman during labor.  There is not a real reason as to why boiling water played a role in childbirth.  Some believe the water was just a task to get the dad-to-be away from the labor, while others believed that it was used to sterilize the tools needed to perform the delivery.  No matter what the reason was, this is definitely just an old wives tale with no truth or importance to it.

Old Wives Tale #11:  Full Moon

A full moon was believed to cause a woman to go into labor and give birth.  

Old Wives Tale #12:  Shape of Belly

If you are carrying high with a big, round belly, you are having a girl.  If you are carrying low with a smaller belly that sticks straight out, it’s a boy.  

Old Wives Tale #13:  Ring Test

Using a string, hang your wedding ring over your pregnant belly.  You are having a girl if the ring swings back and forth  and it’s a boy if it swings in a circle.   

Old Wives Tale #14:  Shape of Mom’s Face

When your face gets fuller and rounder when pregnant, it means you’re going to have a girl.  If your face is long and narrow, it’s a boy.  

I think this is b.s. since women all gain weight differently.  However, that being said, my face has gotten rounder, so all signs point to a girl for this one.

Old Wives Tale #15:  Key Test

This test involves a key.  If you pick up a key at the top (the roundest part), you are going to have a boy.  If you pick up the key at the bottom (smallest part), you are going to have a girl.  If you happen to grab the key in the middle, congrats, it’s twins!  

Old Wives Tale #16:  Mayan Tale

The Mayan tale adds the mothers age at conception and the year of conception.  If the result is a even number then mom is having a girl.  If the result is an odd number then a boy is on the way!  According to this, we are having a girl.

Old Wives Tale #17:  Drano Test

The drano test combines a tablespoon of Drano and urine together.  If the mixture turns green, it’s a girl.  If it turns blue, it’s a boy.  

Old Wives Tale #18:  Acne

If you have acne while pregnant, it’s a girl.  It’s thought that acne during pregnancy is caused by the extra hormones.  

Old Wives Tale #19:  Cravings

People believe that if you are craving salty foods while pregnant, you can count on having a boy.  If you crave sweets, fruit, and orange juice, you are having a little girl.  

Old Wives Tale #20:  Smell of Garlic

If a pregnant woman eats a clove of garlic and the smell does not come out of her pores, it’s a girl.  If the smell seeps out of her pores, it’s a boy.   

Old Wives Tale #21:  Ultrasound

I’m not sure that this falls under ‘old wives tales’, but, as with anything, ultrasounds may not be accurate all of the time.  In fact, one of my friends was told that she was having a boy.  A penis on the ultrasound.  Months later, it was determined that her little boy was actually a little girl.  I would have thought little girls could have turned out to be boys, but not the other way.  I guess there’s always room for error though. 

Old Wives Tale #22:  Skin under Left Eye

The eye test is when a “V” or “branches” appear when you pull down the skin under your left eye.  If you see a “V” or “branches” in the white part, you’re having a girl.  I have a “V”, so one more point for a girl.

Old Wives Tale #23:  Previous Kids

This tale only applies if you have had previous kids.  If you have and that child’s first word was momma, you will have a girl.  If your first child’s first word was dadda, you’ll have a boy.  I can’t help you with this one since I have no previous kiddos.

Old Wives Tale #24:  Wooden Spoon, Scissors, and Pink Bows

Apparently if you put a wooden spoon and a pair of scissors under your bed and a pink bow under your pillow, you’ll have yourself a little baby girl.  I think this sounds like one of the craziest myths I’ve ever heard.  Anyone try it?

Old Wives Tale #25:  History of Parent’s Kids

You can find out the sex by going off of your parent’s kids and the order.  If you are the first born, you will have what your mother had but starting with her second child.  If you are the middle child, you will have what she said, but starting with the third child.  If you are the last child, you will have what your mother had in the exact order.  I think this tale only works when the parent’s had three kids.  

Old Wives Tale #26:  Time of Conception

The person that is most aggressive in bed at the time of conception is the opposite of what the baby will be.  In this case, we’ll have a girl.  (I’m not always boring in bed, but I had too much to drink on this night and I know that I was not very aggressive.)

Old Wives Tale #27:  Legs

If your legs get really big, you’re having a boy.  If your legs stay in shape and lean, it’s a girl.  I think it’s too early for me to tell on this one.

Old Wives Tale #28:  Moodiness and a Little Pecker

If you are really moody, you are having a girl since you have another extra girl hormones in you.  Your pregnancy will make you smile and be more happy if you are having a boy because there’s a little penis inside you.  Not sure how true this is, but it sure does make me laugh!

Old Wives Tale #29:  Bread

If you eat the ends of bread, it’s a boy.  If you eat the middle of the load, it’s a girl.  I’ve never liked the ends of bread and always have eaten from the middle… Another point for a little girl.  

Old Wives Tale #30:  Chinese Gender Chart

The Chinese Gender Chart claims to have an accuracy rate of over 90%.  It is based on how old the mother is at conception and the month that she conceived.  This tale tells me that I’ve having a girl.  

Old Wives Tale #31:  Mom’s Beauty

Basically you are having a girl if your beauty disappears during pregnancy.  It is said that the girl “steals” the mother’s beauty.  If you think that pregnancy has never made you look more beautiful, you might just be having a little boy.  

Old Wives Tale #32:  Dream of Sex of Baby

If you have dreams that you are having a boy, you will have a girl.  If you dream about having a girl, it will be a boy.  Dreams show the opposite of what you are having.  I’ve only had a dream that I was having twins, and there’s only one baby in there, so maybe there’s some truth to this…  or maybe it’s just a coincidence!

Old Wives Tale #33:  Clumsy vs. Graceful

If the pregnant woman is graceful throughout her pregnancy, she’s having a girl.  If she becomes clumsy, she’s having a boy.  

Old Wives Tale #34:  Toddlers

If a toddler boy expresses interest in a pregnant woman, she is having a girl.  If he doesn’t show interest, she’s having a boy.  

Old Wives Tale #35:  Side You Most Rest On

If a pregnant woman prefers to lay on her left side, she’s having a boy.  If she prefers resting on her right side, she’s having a girl.  I prefer my right side lately.  Hmm.

Old Wives Tale #36:  Hands

When the pregnant woman is asked to show her hands, it’s a boy if she keeps her palms down and a girl if she shows her palms up.  

Old Wives Tale #37:  Dad’s Weight Gain

If the dad-to-be gains weight while you are pregnant, it’s a girl.  If he doesn’t gain weight, you’re having a boy.  So far Tarzan has lost a couple of pounds (while eating ice cream), so maybe a boy is what we’re having.

Old Wives Tale #38:  Breast Test

If a pregnant woman’s left breast is larger than the right breast, she’s having a girl.  If the right breast is larger, it’s a boy.  I just told Tarzan the other day that my left breast is significantly larger than the right one.  A girl maybe?

Old Wives Tale #39:  Necklace Over Hand

Have someone hold a necklace over your hand.  If the necklace swings back and forth, it’s a boy.  If it moves in a circle, it’s a girl.  Last summer one of my friends did this test to me at a crawfish boil.  It was done three times and the results were:  girl, boy, and girl.  She also did it to other people, some pregnant, some not, and some that already had kids.  This test was right 100% of the time.  Pretty interesting if you ask me.   

Old Wives Tale #40:  What Do You Think?

71% of the time, the mom-to-be knows what she is having.  I might be falling into the old wives tale trap, or maybe I just want a little girl, but I feel like it is a girl.  I guess we’ll find out in 2.5 weeks!  

Old Wives Tale #41:  Morning Sickness

If you had a smooth pregnancy with no morning sickness, it’s a boy.  If you were sick or felt really nauseous during your pregnancy, count on a girl.  As you know, I have only thrown up once, but I’ve been extremely nauseous more often than not.  Girl again perhaps. 

Old Wives Tale #42:  Areolae

If your areolae (the part around your nips) have darkened, it’s a boy.   Considering my areolae only look like they’ve eaten my boobs, all while staying the same color, another sign pointing to a little girl.  

Old Wives Tale #43:  Protein

When a pregnant woman craves meat and cheese, count on a boy.  

Old Wives Tale #44:  Feet

Are your feet colder now that you are pregnant?  If so, you just might be having a boy.  If your feet have stayed the same before pregnancy and during, you’re having a little girl.  

Old Wives Tale #45:  Hair on Legs

If the hair on your legs has been growing at record speeds, you might be having a boy.  

Old Wives Tale #46:  Hands are Dry

If your hands are constantly dry, it’s a boy.    

Old Wives Tale #47:  Urine

What color is your pee?  If it is bright yellow, you will have a little boy.  If your urine is a dull yellow, plan on a girl.  

Old Wives Tale #48:  Nose

Do you feel like your nose is growing and getting wider?  If so, you might be having a boy.    

Old Wives Tale #49:  Headaches

If you are having headaches, you might be carrying a boy.  I’ve definitely had an increase in headaches, so I wonder… 

Old Wives Tale #50:  Drinking Water

Drinking water is really important when pregnant.  An old wives tale was that if the mom-to-be wasn’t drinking enough water daily, the amniotic fluid would be really dirty for the baby.  Drinking tons of water will help you stay hydrated, but has no correlation with how clean or dirty the amniotic sac is.  

Old Wives Tale #51:  Baby Names

It is said that when you can only think of specific names for a boy or a girl, you will have that particularly baby.  We can only agree on girls names, so we’ll see how accurate this one is.

Do You Know Of An Old Wives
Tale Not Listed Above?

Share yours below below!

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Yes it’s true.  I’m 14 weeks pregnant right now.  What better way to celebrate this week in pregnancy then by throwing up for the first time since getting the positive on the pee stick.  

Tarzan and I are out of town right now.  We ordered room service a few hours away and I just got a caesar salad.  Each bite I took reminded me how salty the salad tasted, but nonetheless, I did finish it.  Shortly after eating the whole bowl, my stomach felt funny.  Not like “I’m going to throw up now” funny, but just a rumbling kind of feeling.  

I wasn’t sure what to do considering we are in a hotel.  I decided to be prepared and asked Tarzan to put the garbage can by me… you know, just in case.  Ha!  Famous last words.

As he was bringing the garbage can over, he said “If you need to throw up, why not go to the bathroom?”  (Oh Tarzan, you silly, silly boy.  That would be too easy.)  Next thing we know, I’m spewing out caesar salad (gross, I know) in the garbage can.  

And my friends, this was no ordinary throw up.  Instead it was the really smelly kind that almost makes you want to vomit just from smelling the awful smell.  

There I was, throwing up in the garbage can, while sitting up in bed and holding my nose closed to try to keep the smell from entering it.  Nice sight.  Poor Tarzan was holding my hair back and rubbing my back as this was going on.  I say “poor” because he was gagging.  The smell got to him too.

He was a good husband and dumped the goods in the toilet while I brushed my teeth.  My esophagus and throat feel like they are burning even as I type.  It’s been a while since I’ve yacked, so I’m not quite sure I remember this feeling.  All I know is that I hope it goes away soon!

So that was our night.  Eating a gross dinner and having it come right back up.  Isn’t it funny that I was able to stomach an egg sandwich, pimento cheese, doritos, and green olives all mashed together, but the caesar salad is what finally did it!  And what’s more ironic is that I haven’t thrown up at all in my pregnancy yet.

Welcome to being 14 weeks of being pregnant.  Please send some good pregnancy vibes and prayers that this was a fluke and that vomit will not be a part of my daily pregnant life.

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