I told you that I would jinx myself by writing a sleeping through the night post.

Monkey went to bed at 7:30pm last night and woke up hungry at 4am.  I sat him on his newborn lounger and went into the kitchen to make a bottle.

As I made the bottle, my eyes glanced at the clock on the microwave & I was taken back exactly to 12 weeks ago.

Waking up at 4am to find that my panties & shorts were soaked.

Waking up Tarzan to tell him.

T. asking me if I was sure that it was amniotic fluid or urine.

Calling the doctor & getting told to go to the hospital.

Having a freak out moment & thinking I’m not ready for this yet.

Packing up the car.

Thinking I need more time.

Driving to the hospital at 5am behind a slow driver in the HOV lane.

T. freaking out at the slow car & flashing his lights, putting on the hazards, anything to get the car to pull over & let us pass.

Feeling contractions & disliking them very much.

Trying to stop from thinking that I’m not ready… There was no going back.

Checking in at labor and delivery in the hospital smiling.

Not smiling when I met my private nurse, Rose.

Battling over whether or not to get epidural early. I was only at 2cm.

The initial “pain” of the stab of the epidural.

Ahhh, pure loveliness.

Being with my parents, best friend, & Tarzan.

Sudden lightning storm outside when it hadn’t rained in forever.

Thank you baby for not hurting your momma.

Not progressing too much.

Progressing from 6cm to 10cm justlikethat.

It’s time to push.

Oh shit.

What if I poop on the table?

I should have been worried about spraying urine on my husband & Rose instead.

Pushing sucks.

I’m gonna throw up.

I need a wet rag on my forehead.

Everyone sees the head.

I’m over this pushing stuff.

OB arrives & starts knitting.

I tell Rose, the nurse, that she is in fact cheating on her counting.

I keep on pushing.

A mirror is brought in.

Surprisingly I look at the mirror & am quite amazed at what is going on.

Epidurals are lovely.

I’m watching my OB stretch my vag in a big circle, all while not feeling a thing.

70 minutes later I’m holding my son.

He’s looking up at me with big, alert eyes & I melt.

Tarzan keeps saying, “Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.”

I throw up.

I’m crying.  T. is crying.

It’s official:  We are parents.

Wow, am I ready for this?

He is a really cute little guy.

I’m in love.

I breastfeed for the first time.

Then I’m given anti-vomit medicine in my IV & I pass out until the next morning.

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Finally, I found time to blog about my full labor and delivery story!  It all started after a night trying to induce labor that was full of sex, sitting on the birthing ball, and eating pizza with pepperoni and pineapple.

Later that night, Tarzan and I fell asleep on the couch and love seat in the living room.

At 2 am I woke up to go to the bathroom and there was nothing unusual about that.  I woke up again at 4 am to find my panties soaked and a circle of wetness that leaked onto the shorts I was wearing.

Hmm… Could this have meant that my water broke? I wasn’t sure.

I first noticed that it was a clear liquid, so no green there.  (Yay!)  I took a whiff to see if it smelled like urine and it didn’t.  There was actually no smell to it.  At this point, I was thinking that all signs were leading to the fact that my water had broke.

Naturally I woke up my husband and told him what had happened.  Being that it was 4 am, he asked me, “Are you sure that you didn’t just pee your pants?”  I guess it was a fair question, but being that I regularly do not pee in my pants, I told him that I was sure this was something else.

I showed him the leak and then asked him to smell the damage too.  (You know I didn’t want it to seem like I was making up crazy things in my head.)  He smelled the shorts and agreed that there was no urine smell.

“Should I call my OB now or should we wait until 5 am so she can sleep a bit longer?”  Tarzan told me to call her right away, so I did.  It’s funny how everything just goes right out the window like that.  I mean, I clearly knew that I should call the OB, but my mind went completely stupid in my thinking.

I called the emergency number and was connected to someone who asked me my name and what was going on.  I explained that I thought my water had broken.  She told me to hold for a minute and then I was greeted by my sweet OB’s voice saying, “Good morning, Jane.  You think your water has broken?”

After I told her what had happened, she told me to go to the hospital.  I told Tarzan that we needed to go to the hospital & he asked if he had time to shower.  I told him that he did and then I just stood there completely frozen.  He asked me why I was just standing there instead of getting ready & I told him that I didn’t know.  Then I started to cry.  It was at this exact moment that I lost it.

He asked me what was wrong and I told him that I wasn’t sure we were ready for all of this:  Our life changing right then & there.  It was (and still is a bit) scary.  He told me that we were ready & we could handle it.  Then he told me to finish packing the last minute stuff and he was going to shower.

I didn’t stop to think about how our life was about to change anymore; I just followed what he said and packed.  About an hour and a half later, we were ready to walk out the door.  Oh. My. Gosh.

Labor At Pregnancy Week 40 Had Started!

At this point I was having contractions and was in pain.  The “contractions” that I thought I was having a couple days earlier were nothing compared to these.  Those must have been Braxton-Hicks contractions instead.  (And it has to be said that everyone is right – You will just know when the contractions are the real thing.  I promise.)

Tarzan and I decided to hop on the HOV lane so that we wouldn’t have to deal with morning traffic in Houston.  Boy was that not the best plan.  There was one car ahead of us that was entering the HOV lane & of course they weren’t even going the speed limit.  I think they were driving at 50 mph at the most.  So frustrating, especially if you are my husband and you are trying to get your pregnant wife to the hospital in time.

He flashed his high beams & kept the hazards on hoping that the car would pull over and let us past them.  They didn’t.  It’s like they didn’t get that there could have been some kind of emergency going on behind them.

We made it to the hospital around 6:15 am and went to check in with labor and delivery.  We were brought into the labor room and I was told to change into the hospital gown and socks and pee in a little cup.  I put on my Hot Mama Gown and started to pee.  I was completely shocked to see blood in the toilet and on the toilet paper when I wiped.  I did not expect that.  Of course I freaked out and asked the nurse, who told me that it was completely normal & nothing to worry about.  Whew.

When we got to the hospital it was around the time when the shift ends, so there were three different nurses that talked to us.  Tarzan and I just sat on the couch in the room and hung out throughout my contractions.  When my nurse finally came in to introduce herself to us, I didn’t like her.  At all.  She had no personality and this worried me.  Also at this point in time I had no idea that she was my private nurse, meaning that I was her only patient and she was in the room with us the whole time.  (We’ll call her “Lily”.)

Lily told me to lay down for a minute so that she could get my blood pressure, stats, and baby’s heart rate.  My blood pressure was 104/66 and baby’s heart rate was in the 150′s.  I was at a -3 station (ugh) and 2 cm dilated.  I for sure thought that I would have better stats after the contractions I was feeling.

She put a belt-like thing across my belly to monitor the contractions and one to monitor the baby’s heart rate.  I immediately asked her to turn the baby’s heart rate down so that I couldn’t hear it as much.  Even though nothing was wrong with his heart rate, it just overwhelmed me to think about hearing it go down or for something to be wrong.  She turned it down, complete with giving me a funny look.  Whatever, nurse.

My OB stopped by prior to going to her office around 8 am.  I said, “What do you know about this Lily because I don’t like her“.  She said, “She is strange, but really good at what she does.  Just give her a chance and you’ll be in good hands because she is just down to business.”  OK fine.

My OB said that she wanted to start some pitocin if I was okay with that because my contractions were “worthless” at the moment.  My OB makes me laugh and that’s why I like her.  ”Worthless”… what a way to describe them, right?!

I agreed and she told me that the pitocin would speed things up, so whenever it felt like too much pain I could get the epidural.  I told her that I was worried about getting it so early because I didn’t want it to wear off.  She assured me that it wouldn’t.

I struggled with the whole getting-the-epidural thing.  I felt like I wanted to be so strong and bear out the contractions, but they hurt.  Really bad.  And yes, I am a big baby when it comes to pain.  I had tears in my eyes, but was fighting the urge to give in to the epidural this early on.

Tarzan, my OB, and I talked about it.  One of them said, “It’s not like you get an award for seeing how long you can wait.  If you are in pain, make yourself comfortable.”

Then it dawned on me…  If I was hurting, why would I want to feel the pain?  I have said all along that I wanted the epidural & I knew that no one was going to give me a gold star for waiting it out.

I made the decision to go ahead and get the epidural.

The pitocin was started around 9:15 am and the anesthesiologist came in at 9:45 am.  Honestly the contractions hadn’t gotten that much worse at this point in time, but nonetheless, I was still in pain and definitely not comfortable.

The anesthesiologist explained the whole process to me and then he gave me the initial shot to numb everything.  OUCH!

Of course I jerked my back upright from the relaxed position it was supposed to be in and he told me to just relaxed.  As soon I realized that I was still able to move back into the relaxed position I was happy because this meant that I was not paralyzed.

(Dumb, I know, but my biggest fear was that I would jerk back and the needle would go somewhere in my spine & paralyze me.)

After that initial shot, it was smooth sailing from that point on.  The anesthesiologist told me that he was finished and I was surprised.  The whole process maybe took 2-3 minutes tops.  If you are worried about the epidural like I was, don’t be.  Just be calm and you will be just fine.

At first my feet were numb and tingling.  I hate, hate, hate when my legs fall asleep and this happens.  I just kept on thinking “Oh no, I’m going to feel like this for the rest of the day“.  I couldn’t really feel anything from my butt down and I didn’t like that too much either.

After an hour or so went by I had feeling again & didn’t feel any tingling.  I was able to move my legs and lift my butt off the table.  I was so glad that the epidural took away the pain, but still let me have semi-normal feeling in the lower half of my body.

Lily told me that she was going to help “turn” me into different positions about every 2 hours and I told her that it sounded like I was a chicken being cooked.  Not the best joke, but the lady didn’t even crack a smile.  Okaaay.  This was also the time that I learned she was my private nurse and would be with me until the little babe arrived.

How did I find out this information?  I asked her why she was always in the room with us.  She explained that she was there for me, blah, blah, blah.  My initial thoughts about this were not good, but I didn’t focus on that.  I wasn’t going to let some nurse with no personality ruin my son’s birth day.

By this time my parents had arrived at the hospital.  You would have never known that I was in labor.  All four of us were sitting around talking and just hanging out.  I was munching on ice chips and we were laughing.  It was a great experience for all!

My OB came by around 2 pm to see how things were going.  She checked me and I was at 4 cm and -1 station.  Lily said that she didn’t think that I would be having the baby anytime soon and that was a bummer to hear, but I took her comment with a grain of salt.  I mean, really, she was only making a guess and I was hoping that she was wrong!

My OB said that my contractions still weren’t getting any better and that she wanted to insert a something that would slide by the baby’s head and monitor my contractions from the inside.  I asked her if there was any chance that this tube could go around my baby’s neck and choke him and she said no.  Then she showed me the actual thing that would be inserted and it was tiny.  No big deal.

(And to the few people that said that the tube is inserted into the baby’s head – You are wrong.  Perhaps there is some other contraption that can be inserted into the baby’s head, but I assure you that this is not what happened in this case.  The tube was next to his head in the tiny area, but nothing, and I repeat, nothing, was inserted, screwed, or whatever word you chose into my baby’s head.)

Anyways, I agreed to this and felt nothing when inserted.  This made the “mountains” more mountain-like when measuring my contractions and that was the goal.  Lily & my OB were able to monitor the contractions a lot better and I continued to wait and wait.

After I received the epidural earlier Lily inserted a catheter in me.  Man, that epidural really works because, again, I felt nothing.  The craziest part about having the epidural was that I couldn’t even feel when I was peeing, but Tarzan assured me that the bag was full of urine.  So crazy.

Around 3:30 pm I started to feel my contractions.  I tried to breathe through them like I was taught, but these were painful.  This is about the time that I started to cry because of the pain.  I had a patient-controlled epidural button that I could press two times per hour, but had never taken advantage of it.  I was seriously considering pressing that damn button at this time.  The pain was awful and I wanted relief.

When I started to feel the pain from the contractions, the weather turned really cloudy, dark, and rainy too.  Of course that meant nothing, but was cool considering I hadn’t seen any rain in a LONG time here in Houston.  After trying to brave out the pain for a few contractions (like every couple of minutes), I opted to press the button.  In a short time I felt relief and was grateful.  Oh so grateful!

(While I didn’t know it at the time, this would be the only time that I felt pain during my labor and delivery experience.  Not too bad if you ask me!)

While feeling the pain from those contractions, I thought of the movie “The Business of Being Born”.  After seeing it I felt like I might be open to trying out the next time around.  It seemed really empowering to be able to go through labor and delivery without any drugs.  And we’ve all heard of the infamous birth orgasms that some have when going natural…

Well I assure you that the next time I am pregnant, I will be opting for the epidural once again.  I think it’s so completely awesome and amazing for those ladies who decide to have a natural birth, but there is no way that I could do it.  And quite honestly, there is no way that I would even want to try it.  I cannot imagine experiencing the amount of pain that is known as childbirth naturally.  Again though, props to all of those who are able to wrap their mind around the natural birthing experience and enjoy it!  You are awesome and stronger than I am.

Back to my birth story experience…

Labor And Delivery: The True Stories Of Pushing

After feeling relief from the contractions, there was more sitting around and talking.  Twittering too!  My mom, Tarzan, and myself were all on our phones at one time and my dad made a comment about it.  I was glad that Tarzan was twittering everything because I think it’s so cool.  Many of you have followed us from the beginning, so it only seemed natural to twitter about my labor and delivery.  Plus, what a relief and a great distraction for my husband when he needed one!

Around 5:20 pm my OB came back in to check on my progress.  At this time I was seriously hoping for some progress and my goal was to be at least 6 cm dilated.  I was crossing my fingers and hoping!

You can imagine how surprised I was to find out that I was 10cm dilated, 100% effaced, and +3 station.  It was time to push and this was the real deal.  Ahhh!  Lily cleared the room of all people except Tarzan and began to get ready.

Thankfully everything was about to happen so quickly so I didn’t have time to start thinking things through.  My OB said that she was going to run to her office and grab her things and she’d be right back.  Lily taught me how to push.  She said that her and Tarzan would each hold a leg during a contraction and that she would count down from 10 to 1 while I pushed.

I will admit that after a few “practice” pushes, I finally got the hang of pushing.  I had to take a deep breathe in and then push.  I was a little slow initially getting the hang out it, but then it became natural.

I officially started pushing at 5:28 pm.  While I was pushing Lily had my right leg and Tarzan had my left leg.  I had a washcloth on my head because I was feeling nauseous and my OB… wait for it…

was knitting. LOL.

She was sitting on the couch and cheering me on, all while knitting.  Tarzan and I got such a good laugh out of this, by the way!

She said that they could start seeing the head and Tarzan was like “Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.”  She asked me if I wanted a mirror to be brought in to see what was happening and for some extra motivation for good pushes.  I agreed.

Suddenly a mirror appeared and I was mesmerized.  It was the coolest looking thing ever.  Who would have thought that seeing a stretched out vag with a little head poking out would be so cool?!

I was able to see just a little white poke through after each push.  It was like one step forward, two steps back with each push, but really cool to see.

Here’s the time when I grew to like Lily.  She may not have had the best personality, but she wasn’t there to be my best friend either.  She was good at what she was doing and that was worth more than having any kind of a personality earlier in the day.

She would say, “Here’s another contraction.  Bear down, bear down, push, push, push, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.”  I liked her because she was really helping me and the fact that she lacked a personality went right out the window.  She was good at her job and at motivating me and that’s what mattered the most!

After a few times of her talking and counting through my pushes I informed her that she was, in fact, cheating.  Lily was cheating with my counting!  With all of her talking, there was no way that she should have started counting with a “6″.  She would talk for more than four seconds and that meant that I was pushing for a lot longer than ten seconds.  I actually got a laugh from her; Lily was coming around!

Finally around 6:30 pm, my OB said that our baby would be born after just another couple of pushes.  At this point that was music to my ears.  I was ready to be done with pushing and ready to meet my baby boy.

I will also admit right now that pushing is a lot harder than I ever thought.  It really takes a lot out of you and just when you feel like giving up, your cheering squad convinces you that you are thisclose and to try just one more time.  You naturally give in because you have to – You have a bowling ball appearing out of your vagina and there is no sucking it back up and making it disappear.

For real.

At 6:37 pm our little man came into the world.

During that last push I remember Tarzan holding my left leg, kissing my forehead, and saying, “Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh” and he had tears in his eyes.  I had tears in my eyes.

We both knew, without saying a word, that our life changed at that moment in time, that it would never be the same.  We saw our little boy being born and were both filled of excitement and massive amounts of love for this little being.

Hearing my husband being so vulnerable at that moment is my favorite memory of the day.  I saw him in a different light; as a dad now full of love for his wife that just birthed their baby and for his new son that would grow to be his best buddy in the whole world (well, besides me, of course. LOL).

Our son was placed on my chest right after he was born and I think I was supposed to help wipe him off, but I just stroked his foot.  And cried.  A lot.  After 9 months of growing him and wondering what he would look like, it was my reality now.  I wanted to take in everything and totally be in this moment.  He was so perfect, even though he was full of fluids and other things.  I fell in love with him immediately.

Tarzan cut his umbilical cord shortly after and then our baby was taken to a table in the room to be weighed and get his APGAR score.  He weighed 7 lb, 12 oz, and was 20.25 in long.  His APGAR was a nine.  He really was so perfect and alert.  He was brought back to me so that I could breastfeed him.

After a short time of breastfeeding, I felt really nauseous.  Lily had ordered me dinner so that I would have something and I ate a few pieces of fruit (which reminded me of Tarzan’s baby sizes not compared to a fruit guide for Dads) and a turkey sandwich.  I gave the baby to Tarzan and threw up everything I had just eaten.

At this time I had another nurse that was “in charge” of me.  She asked me if I wanted some medicine for nausea and I told her that I did.  I didn’t think to ask her what she was going to give me or the side effects of said medicine.  She put said medicine in my IV and the rest of the night was hazy.

I was so sleepy and was just about knocked out.  When I would wake up, I wondered what was wrong with me – Could I really be this tired from pushing?  It didn’t seem right, but I figured that it had to be what was wrong.

I woke up in another hospital room, the one that would be our room for the next couple of nights.  The room where I got to enjoy meal after meal of the hospital food – which wasn’t too bad actually.

I remember the nurse pulling the tape off of my back from the epidural (ow!) and then she had to fix the tubing on my IV.  She was pulling tape off left and right and oh so slowly and was obviously not being too careful since I seemed out of it.  I know that I shocked her when I yelled (yes, yelled), “Can you just pull it off fast?  By going slow you are hurting me!”

I remember Tarzan saying something about where he was supposed to sleep.  Of course I don’t have a clue what the “couch” looked like, but I knew that my husband wasn’t happy with the situation.  He asked the nurse if there was any other option available and she didn’t say anything.  Then, jokingly, he said, “Can you just bring me lots of pillows and blankets and I’ll sleep on the floor?”

The nurse didn’t catch on to his joke and said that she would.  He told her he was clearly kidding.  I fell back asleep.

I woke up in another room alone.  No flowers.  No bags.  No baby.  No husband.  Nothing looking familiar.  It was scary, to say the very least.

After a few minutes had passed Tarzan walked into the room.  I asked him what was going on.  Where was everything?  Where were we? Where was our baby? I was so very confused.

He told me that the nurse told him that there was another room available with two beds in it, one for him and one for me.  It was a smaller room, but at least he could have a bed.  He told the nurse that we would take that room, but asked if she would wait to move me so he could go downstairs and get some food before the cafeteria closed.

Apparently she told him that she would wait, but didn’t actually follow through with her word, hence moving me to another room without him.  And after learning that I went to sleep for the night.

When I woke up the next morning I felt like I had a good night’s sleep, but didn’t know why our baby wasn’t with us in the room.  I could only recall bits and pieces from the night before (minus delivery, which gladly and thankfully I remembered all of).

Tarzan filled me in with other details and then a nurse came in.  I asked her what in the world happened to me.  She said that the labor and delivery nurse had given me phenergan and that was why I was knocked out.

Learning the labor and delivery nurse did this pissed me off.  I couldn’t understand (and still don’t understand) why in the world a labor and delivery nurse would give me something that would knock me out after throwing up.  Why not give me something a lot more mild?  Why would she have thought that I wanted to be knocked out instead of getting to know my baby and getting to spend the first night together?

I guess I can’t put all of the blame totally on the nurse; I should have asked what she was giving me.  If you learn anything from my birth story, I would strongly recommend never taking this medicine.  I absolutely hated what it did to me and how I felt.  I hate that I missed out on my baby’s first night being alive.  Being given this medicine is one of my two complaints about my hospital experience.

The only other complaint that I have is that we weren’t told anything after my delivery.  I chalk that up to the fact that I was drugged and that it was about the time of the shift-change for the nurses.  We had to ask so many questions the following day because no one told us anything.  In fact, I didn’t learn that I was supposed to be putting the epifoam on the witch hazel pads on my pad after going to the bathroom each time until the OB on-call discharged me from the hospital.  On the last day.

True story.

Besides those two incidents, I had a really good experience.  Most importantly, I have the cutest, most perfect baby boy to hold in my arms… and that’s what it’s all about!  I feel truly blessed and am so in love with him.

Thanks for reading my birth story and labor and delivery story, even though it was super long.  I can’t wait to blog about everything that’s happened over the past week.

What a crazy roller coaster it’s been, complete with emotions running wild, hardly any sleep, lots of love for this new little life, and falling deeper in love with my husband, but I would not change a single thing!

P.S… I want to leave you with a quote that Tarzan posted on Twitter Saturday when he was out buying more diapers and wipes.  I thought it was really funny!

“Diapers & wipes are a lot like money. When you
think you have enough, sh** happens.” -Tarzan

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37 weeks pregnant and reminiscing… Prior to actually being pregnant, there were a few things that I associated with those particular 9 months.  I thought of the pregnancy glow, pregnancy hair, morning sickness, desserts, getting some special attention (not gonna lie), Mexican food (seriously yum), gaining pregnancy weight, pregnancy fatigue, swollen pregnancy feet and hands, stretch marks, big boobs, pregnancy sex, and nesting.

I never got the lovely pregnancy glow that I’ve heard about.  And while a few people have said, “You are just glowing” I know that they are full of crap.  The pregnancy glow is just not there and now that I’m nearing the end of my pregnancy at 37 weeks, I am simply okay with this.  (But I do have my fingers crossed that I am graced by the pregnancy glow the next time around!)

I did get the pregnancy hair, but it’s not exactly what I was thinking it would be.  I’ve always had thick hair.  I will admit, it’s nice hair that I have.  Long, shiny, thick, and all the other adjectives that go along with what you think of when you hear pregnancy hair.  Since my hair has always been thick, being pregnant has made it even more thick, which translates to a lot of hotness in the summer time, which means many, many ponytails.

It’s quite sad really, I went from styling my hair to putting it up in a ponytail all of the time.  In my mind that tells me that I need a haircut.  No one should wear their hair in a pony daily; it’s just not good.

My husband, on the other hand, is not onboard with me.  Not in the sense that he’s one of those weirdo ones that controls what the wife does, but he just asked me if I would wait until after having the baby… you know, to make sure that it’s not my hormones talking right now.

Perhaps he’s just a smart man and realizes that every single time I’ve ever cut my hair drastically I’ve hated it.  And this is over 6 years worth of haircuts.  I have agreed to listen and wait… but it does not mean that I’m enjoying it one bit.

Morning sickness.  I had it and I hated it.  Sure, it could have been worse, but no matter what level of morning sickness you have when pregnant – it just really sucks.  Throwing up and feeling nauseous are two things that I could have done without.  And I do not buy that line that people tell you to make you feel better:  Morning sickness just means that your baby is really healthy.  Yeah, right.  In my mind, that’s a crock of shit.

Desserts.  I will say (proudly, even) that I have really come to love desserts while being pregnant.  Desserts have never been a regular part in my diet prior to being knocked up so I have really enjoyed partaking when I feel like it lately.  Now that I’m at the end of my pregnancy, I have really been taking full advantage because once this baby is out, it’ll be bye-bye to the dessert world for a while.

Getting special attention, no matter how big or little, has also been nice.  While there have been people who have completely overstepped their boundaries, those stories were too far and few to focus on.  I like the extra smiles from people, the not so annoying questions or conversation starters, the door openers, and everything else that is pregnant when you see someone that is clearly pregnant.  It’s nice to know that there are still nice, caring, and decent people still in the world, despite all of the bad we hear so often.

Mexican food is delightful.  Being from Texas, it’s like a rule to like/love Tex-Mex.  Being pregnant has just completely magnified my love for Mexican food though.  It sounds good to me day and night.  Too bad that my husband isn’t as big of a fan of it, but he’s a good sport most of the time.

I’ve always known and been okay with the fact that people gain weight when pregnant.  It’s just what happens and it’s not a big deal at all.  Back in the second trimester there was a 4-week period that I gained 9 pounds.  Even though I’m okay with gaining weight, that was a lot to swallow for some reason.

Once I got over myself and realized that it was fine (and that it was the only 9 pound month I’ve had), I haven’t worried about the scale at all.  There is not one good, valid reason that I can think of as far as why I should care.  My OB isn’t worried about my weight and I’m not either.  It’s just the losing part after pregnancy that I am dreading.

Pregnancy fatigue is an interesting one.  In the beginning I don’t remember ever feeling like “Oh my gosh I need to sleep now”.  I do think that part of this is because I don’t have a job to go to daily.  If I don’t sleep well at night, I can always take a nap during the day.  But I really expected to get hit with the pregnancy fatigue bug in the third trimester.  It seems like I’ve heard from everyone just how tired and sleepy I should be.  But I’m not.  At all.  In fact, I feel like I am the same that I’ve been previously (minus being a whole lot slower).  I tend to lean towards the side of insomniac, if anything.

I always, always, always associated being swollen on some body part towards the end of the third trimester with pregnancy.  Again, not so true.  (Or maybe I’ve just been lucky thus far.)  My hands and feet are bigger, but not necessarily swollen.  My ankles are the same way too.  I feel like everything just grew a size (or two) larger, but nothing is swollen and fat.  I don’t have cankles and I’m hoping it stays that way.

Stretch marks fit into the same category as swollen limbs.  I was always afraid of having a big pregnant belly because I thought it automatically meant stretch marks would be present.  I was wrong.  I don’t know if it’s genetics, the cream I use, or the fact that I’m just one of the lucky ones, but I don’t have any to report.  (And to all of you that have left me comments saying that you got them after delivering, no offense, but I hope that I don’t join you in that.  I will continue to do the same thing I’m doing and hope that it works.  LOL.)

At the end of my first trimester (I think) I posted a blog post about having porn-star boobs.  It was like they grew overnight back then.  Since that first trimester’s growth, I have had nothing to report.  They stopped growing.  I went up one size (so far) and they’ve been at a standstill ever since.  Of course, they might have changed some, but do to my ever-growing belly, maybe I just have not noticed.

Pregnancy sex is something that hasn’t happened all of the time like I thought it would.  I’ll spare you the details because we’ve blogged enough about it, but I want to focus on sex in the third trimester.  Now I don’t know about you, but sex in the third trimester should just be put to rest until after the baby comes.  I mean, really.  I can’t speak for all pregnant ladies, but it’s just not enjoyable for me this late in the game.  It’s awkward trying to find a good position, not to mention how unflattering some of the positions can be.

I will admit that I completely ruin some of the moments during sex because I have to pee so badly.  I’ll ask Tarzan, “Uh, are you close?”  If he says that he is, then I will be a good sport and hold it for a little bit.  If he isn’t, then we must pull apart and I waddle off to the bathroom.  There was one time in particular when he, um, finished, and then I was like “help me up NOW because I have to pee”.  He helped me up, I went to the bathroom, and it was almost orgasmic to just pee.  And I’m not kidding.

And finally, the last term that I associated so often with being pregnant is the infamous nesting that you hear about.  Like the lack of the pregnancy glow, nesting has not been a part of my pregnant life.  Haven’t you read my post on the dirty dishes?!  I really got excited about the whole nesting experience, if for nothing else than to just give my house a good cleaning.  It’s weird to say, but I was excited about getting the urge to clean the ceilings at 2 am.  I have heard from some that nesting might kick in as labor approaches, so maybe there is still some hope for me after all!

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Thank God this pregnancy blog is anonymous… that’s all I have to say.

Today I mustered up the energy to try to find curtains for the nursery.  I went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to look around.  I couldn’t make up my mind so I bought 3 different ones to bring home to see what Tarzan thought about them.

Oh but this story isn’t about curtains, I’m just setting it up so that you understand I was out running errands.

Basically it’s like a freakin’ sauna outside in Houston right now.  Seriously, I never ever ever remember June being this hot, but then again I’ve never been pregnant in June either.

I had the a/c blasting because I could not get cool.  It was at 68 degrees and on full blast to try to make me chilly.  It did not work, by the way.

I was wearing these pants and the material is really light (in my defense).  Combine lightweight pants with leather seats in the car and I’m going to tell you right now, it’s just not a good situation.  At all.

I picked up Chick-fil-A for lunch and then came straight home.  I was miserable.  Tarzan came out to the garage to help me bring in our lunch and my BB&B bag and I told him that I felt like my butt was sweating.  He looked at my butt and told me that it was.

WHAT??

There was no way that I believed him and I was convinced that he was just kidding.  Well, that was until I came inside and looked in the mirror in the bathroom.

My husband was not kidding.

I was so hot that it went through my underwear and there was a nice wet spot on the back of my pants.  Can you believe that?  

Even worse, can you imagine if I wouldn’t have come right home?  I would have been the laughing stock of wherever I was at the time.

How freakin’ embarrassing.

So not only has pregnancy made me feel huge, made my feet grow two sizes, given me migraines, made my hair so insanely long and thick, caused me to vomit and feel nauseous for many, many weeks (loved morning sickness), made me to (at times) be a psycho b!tch, and numerous other things, but now I can add sweaty butt to the list as well.

Thank God I’m near the end.

Moral of the story for myself and for all you pregnant ladies:  Make sure that your pants are a little thicker when running errands, you need to be prepared.  Also you might want to carry another pair of pants with you… you know, just in case you are one of the “lucky” pregnant ones like me.  

Joy.

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Jane is now 21 weeks pregnant and over the last few days she’s been getting those “flutters” in her pregnant belly everyone has told her about.  She was starting to get jealous of others feeling their baby kick at 18 weeks pregnant, and some even earlier!  But pregnancy week 21 has brought many baby kicks and flutters!

Also, baby Tarzan is about the size of a beer bottle according to my handy Baby Size Guide For Father’s-To-Be.

In fact, this morning Pregnant Jane told me that when she went to bed last night baby Tarzan was kicking a lot – the most EVER!  She wanted to see if she could feel it when she put her hand on his belly so she could yell up to me (I was hard at work in my office) and ask me to put my hand on her belly.

But every time she put her hand on her belly, he’d stop kicking.  That’s my boy!  He’s taking after me already.  He’s active at night and already showing signs of being stubborn!

All in all, pregnant week 20 and pregnant week 21 has been a breeze.  Morning sickness, nausea, and headaches are a thing of the past… everything has been smooth sailing over the last few weeks.  Well… except for one thing, which I will talk about in a moment…

Now I know every pregnancy is different.  Some woman have nausea and morning sickness ALL throughout their pregnancy while others have none.  And then I’ve heard about pregnant woman who have nausea and morning sickness during their first trimester, they’re fine during their second trimester, and then the third trimester brings all of the nausea and morning sickness back.

(KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK)  That’s me knocking on some wood that Pregnant Jane stays in the clear throughout the rest of her pregnancy.

However… there is one little thing that has kicked into VERY, VERY high gear over the last few weeks in pregnancy week 20 and of course in pregnancy week 21.  And I bet you know what that is… yes, hormones!

We’ve gone from the fire-breathing dragon who wanted to kill me and fight with me at the drop of a dime to a Pregnant Jane who is now very, very emotional and cries very easily.  Pregnant Jane has become a very sensitive girl.  Very sensitive.  I have to watch what I say or how I say it sometimes because of how easy things can be taken the wrong way.

I’d take this during and after pregnancy week 21 over that fire-breathing dragon hormone flare-up any day!  At least with these types of hormone flare-ups, I get to hug her more and comfort her more.  :)

In other news, pregnancy week 21 has also started what I think to be one of the best pregnancy hormones ever created… the enhanced sexual drive hormones.  I’m starting to see the beginning of these wonderful, wonderful hormones kick in Pregnancy Jane.  Man, I was REALLY starting to think that the next time we’d have sex would be when we’re trying for baby # 2 a year or two down the road!

Let’s just say that I have a feeling that within the next few weeks I’m going to be in TROUBLE!  Something tells me that these new wonderful hyper-drive sex drive hormones that Jane is starting to get will be kicking into high gear very soon.  I’m of course very excited about this new phase of pregnancy.  It’s been so long that I was starting to think that I was going to have to buy the “Sex for Dummies” book to learn how to do everything again!

Now what will make all of this interesting is that I’m working like CRAZY right now on a new business I’ve started.  I’m working a LOT right now – usual cut-off time has been 3 AM.  I’ve got a million things to do and very little time to make it all happen as I have a small window of opportunity.  With that said, I’m on the phone all day, on the computer all day, working like crazy, and I have a feeling that Jane will be coming up to my office many times over the next several weeks to attack me while I’m in the middle of working!

However, I have a feeling that I’ll be OK with those kind of attacks a few times a week… or who knows… maybe a DAY!!!  :)

Well, I got to get back to work – I’m so, so, so thankful that Pregnant Jane is feeling good.  I would have NO idea what I’d do if she was sick with headaches, nausea, morning sickness, etc. and stuck in bed all day.  Taking care of her when she was like that during the first trimester was a full-time job at times and I felt so bad for her all the time – it was so hard to concentrate on anything because I was so worried about my beautiful wife.

She’s feeling great – and being the BEST and most supportive wife EVER as I work my tail off to get something good going for our family before baby Tarzan is born.  She’s making sure I’m fed, she’s my business consultant at times when I run ideas by her and ask her opinions on things, and she’s just the best wife ever.  I love her more and more every single day.

By the way… this is something that I’ll talk more about sometime… but pregnancy has brought Jane and I closer and has added many wonderful feelings and emotions to our relationship.  We’re falling deeper and deeper in love with each passing day.  We actually talked about this the other day briefly.  I’ve been thinking a lot about it and will be sharing my “pregnant thoughts from a dad-to-be” on a new blog post soon.  It’s really interesting stuff!

So yes, pregnancy week 21 is going good all around for Pregnant Jane, me, and baby Tarzan – who has become an active little bugger at night!  :)

Oh, also check out Jane’s Pregnant Belly Week By Week belly picture page we have going – it’s been updated with Jane’s pregnancy week 21 belly picture.

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18 weeks of pregnancy down and I am quickly approaching the halfway point.  I figured this would be a good time to reflect on the past 18 weeks my belly has been growing and growing and share some often unspoken shocking facts I have learned since becoming pregnant.

Maybe I missed the memo that the Pregnant Fairy left on my pillow the night Tarzan impregnated me.  Or maybe these are lessons that every pregnant girl has to learn the hard way.  Either way, it’s been one heck of a learning curve at times!  And that’s why today I bring to you my 35 shocking facts 18 weeks of pregnancy has taught me.  So let’s dive in!

1.  I’ve seem to have sprung a vagina leak.  The thoughts of wearing grandma underwear and panty liners 24/7 dance around to the tune, “Don’t go chasing waterfalls” in my head.  Is it really necessary that almost every hole I have should leak?  That’s just not fun.

2.  Veins are popping out of boobs like crazy.  Like you can trace my vein on my boob with your finger crazy.  Either my boobs are working out and lifting weights while I sleep or they’re going to be some incredible 24/7 milk producing machines.  At this rate, I’ll have one happy, satisfied, and full baby boy.

3.  Hygiene seriously lacks. Sometimes I’m so tired that I don’t wash my face before I go to bed at night.  Sometimes, like today, I don’t brush my teeth until 2:24 pm.  Sometimes I have greasy hair.  Sometimes I only shave because I can’t stand how long the hair on my legs has gotten.  As gross as all of these things are, I’m (sadly) perfectly ok with it.

4.  I pee a ridiculous amount of times per day.  I pee more in a day now than I peed in an entire week all together.  Our water bill has increased ten-fold because of all the flushing going on around here.  One of my bad habits is to go to the bathroom and then tell Tarzan that we are out of toilet paper.  He hates it. 

5.  Not only is my belly growing, but so is everything else.  My arms, butt, thighs, and body parts I didn’t even know I had are getting bigger by the day.  This cannot be a good thing.

6.  Hormones are beyond out of control.  Just ask my husband Tarzan.

7.  I cry about everything.  I cry over commercials.  I cry over TV shows.  I cry over seeing someone do something nice for an elderly woman at the grocery store.  And I cry over the fact that I cry so much.  I’ve officially become lame.

8.  Forgetfulness flows through me like the sand through an hour glass.  The days of my life can be summed up in two words: Pregnant Brain.  I had something funny to also write here, but I forgot what it was.

9.  Sex. Oh yeah.  Although I’d love to say that since becoming pregnant, sex is hot, steamy, incredible, and frequent, sadly it happens about as often as sequels are released for the movie Titanic.  

10. Laziness has become my middle name.  But so has sleep, nap, do-nothing, relax, and chill out.

11.  Food has become an obsession. I swear that Taco Bell and McDonald’s are making commercials just for me.  And no matter how much I eat, I’m always hungry again 30 minutes later.  Sorta reminds of of eating sushi pre-pregnancy.

12.  Social life.  What social life?  That went out the window shortly after getting pregnant and I’m often asleep on the couch by 8:30 and in bed by 9:00… Friday and Saturday nights included.

13.  My constant sneezing has become a way for Tarzan to keep track of where I am in the house at all times.  And this isn’t the cute sneeze like I used to have.  Oh no, this sneeze is extremely loud and it’s best to have a kleenex on hand for the huge amount of snot that flows out of my nose.

14.  Everything has a smell.  I can smell the tile, Tarzan, the garbage in the kitchen, our dog, our couch, the TV, and the flowers in the other room all at the same time.  I’d either make a great super-sniffing super hero or I could replace a few drug-sniffing dogs police use.

15.  Bitchiness.  Don’t mess with me.  My hormones are ready to go into battle at a moments notice… and I never lose.  Really.

16.  My dog is attached to me like a cell phone on a 15 year-old that loves to text.  She must be next to me at all times now.  Too bad she won’t hop in the shower with me though, she could use a bath soon.

17.  Even though I am growing a baby, I still don’t like the fact that I’m gaining weight in other spots than my stomach.  Why didn’t I luck out with one of those awesome bodies that doesn’t gain weight so easily?  Damn genes.  

18.  Google isn’t always a pregnant girl’s friend.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked something up and based on what I read I’d swear I was either going into labor or that I had a rare disease only found in red frogs in the Amazon jungle.  No joke.

19.  Most maternity clothes are as flattering as me wearing a Snuggie everywhere I go.

20.  Fitted pregnancy shirts seem to work better than the flowy kind.  At least you can tell I’m pregnant and not just really fat.  And this is ALWAYS a plus.

21.  Pimples suck.  What am I, a teenager again?  Well, shoot, even as a teenager I never had acne.  Pimples and pregnancy seem to go hand in hand for a lot of us.  Who would have known that pimples could grow into your hairline and on your head?

22.  People want to touch my belly, even though it’s not a huge bump yet… and I do not like this.  My belly is my belly.  Your ass is your ass.  Just because you have a bubble there doesn’t mean everyone who walks by can touch it.  Hands off my bump!

23. I get into fights over nothing sometimes with Tarzan – over stupid things.  If he forgets to put a new trash bag in the trashcan  after taking it out, God help him.  He’s in for a pregnant woman hormone outburst like he’s never seen.

24.  People are extremely noisy.  I know that they care for the most part, but I don’t care about your advice, your name choices, or how it was 20 years ago when you were pregnant.  If I wanted to know what it was like, I’d ask you.  And for God’s sake, the last thing I want to hear about is how you were in labor for 30 hours and you wanted to die.  Or how you pooped on the table.  Or how you tore so badly.  Or how your baby had problems.  Or how sex is just not the same.  Or that the epidural didn’t work.  Yea. Thanks for telling me that.  Bitch.

25.  Now that I’m pregnant, other pregnant women feel it’s OK to talk to me about their dark nipples or leaky vaginas.  And for some strange reason this keeps happening over lunch or dinner.  True story.  The last thing I want to be thinking about while pouring gravy on my mashed potatoes is your leaky vagina thankyouverymuch.

26.  It’s easy to make friends in dressing room hallways with others who are trying on maternity clothes.  We have this new common bond.  It’s like we’re all meant to be BFF’s to bond over how awful some maternity clothes can be.

27.  Wearing fun heels is still do-able, but I know it will become all but a distant memory soon enough.  I don’t know what it is about being pregnant and my feet being different.  The same heels I wore pre-pregnancy that fit my foot just fine then, make my feet hurt like hell every time I wear them now!

28.  Dreams while pregnant can get a little wild at times ranging from nightmares, to puppies, to normal sex, to bisexual sex (for the record, I’m a straight girl)

29.  Migraines.  Enough said.

30.  I get out of breath doing just about anything now.  Stairs?  Forget about them.  Show me the nearest elevator.  What?  No elevator?  Carry me.

31.  The wonderful sneeze and pee.  It’s bad enough that I’m sneezing all the time now, but to have to worry about some pee escaping each time I do, is truly something I’d rather live without.

32. My areolae have begun their attack on my boobs.  At this rate, I fear that my entire body is slowly turning into one big nipple.

33. Nausea and morning sickness are far worse than what “they” tell you it’s like.  I compare it to having the worst hangover you’ve ever had and feeling like that for 24-48 hours at times.  And then waking up the next day and starting all over again… and again… and again…

34.  My pregnancy gas is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.  It’s frequent and according to Tarzan, studies should be done on a pregnant woman’s gas as it may be an effective weapon to fight wars and crime.

35.  Finally, the infamous pregnancy glow that you hear about is a bunch of bullsh!t.  It hasn’t happened yet and I seriously have doubts that it ever will happen.  Seriously.  At this rate the only thing that will be glowing on me is my stomach when the light hits it just right because my skin will be stretched out as far as it can go!

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So I know you’re probably wondering about the strange title.  While it is weird, being 18 weeks pregnant has brought on some fabulous things about pregnancy and a, uh, strange one that no one ever told me about.  Let’s get to the strange one first…

Dampness.  In-my-panties.  

For real.  I wish I was kidding, but what is going on down there?  Why are my panties damp all the time?  Well, not all the time, but more often than not.  It’s strange and a new pregnancy symptom.  I did some research and it seems like vaginal discharge (sorry guys) is quite normal during pregnancy.  

Oh, is it?  

Well I wish someone would have told me about this before.  The first time it happened, I thought some pee came out.  I ran to the bathroom, but it wasn’t urine.  Just a newfound dampness that I’m not loving.  It seems like every hole that I have will leak sometime or another within my pregnancy.  I’m not excited about this at all.

In other news, it’s been about 2 weeks since I’ve been sick with morning sickness, nausea, or migraines.  It’s a miracle!!  

I feel awesome not having to worry about feeling crummy all day long.  Without jinxing myself, I really hope that having a good past 2 weeks means that the worst is behind me and I’ll only get to feeling better, well until the 3rd trimester (I hear that’s brutal at times).  You can just call me the eternal optimist!

Let’s move on to my appetite lately…  

It’s significantly increased and Tarzan calls it “manly”.  

Manly.  Nice, huh?  

I feel hungry ALL of the time, not just for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  It’s a little scary actually.  I know it’s a normal part of being pregnant, but it’s still weird.  

I’m not going to lie – It’s strange to eat breakfast and then be hungry 1-hour later.  Gone are the days of eating breakfast, lunch, small snack, and dinner.  Now my schedule is like: breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, another snack, dinner, snack.  

Snack, snack, snack!

I met my mom out the other day and she called me while I was on my way.  She said ,”Are you hungry?  Have you eaten lunch yet?” (who is she kidding with asking if I’m hungry) and I told her, “Mom, I’m ALWAYS hungry.”  I’m just hoping that I don’t gain like 10 pounds at my next doctor appointment.  

Keeping my fingers crossed.

The best and final part of my topic is the flutter that I might have felt this past week.  All this time I’ve heard the word “flutter” to describe how it feels when the baby moves.  Without sounding dumb, I honestly don’t know what a “flutter” feels like.  Is it like butterflies in your stomach when you first fall in love?  

Anyways, Tarzan and I were driving the other day and I felt something that can only be described as a “flutter”, or at least I think.  It feels like the closest thing to a flutter that I could imagine, but then again, it could have been gas I suppose.  I like to think that I felt my baby moving in my belly.  

I was really excited to find out whether we were having a boy or a girl and now the next big excitement will come when I feel my baby kick.  I guess only time will tell if I actually felt the baby moving, or if it was just lovely gas.  

Oh, how I’m really hoping it was the “real” deal!

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I’m not liking this new trend we’re on.  When the clock hit midnight on the day Jane turned 14 week pregnant, she threw up like crazy.  And now today, Jane hit the Sweet 16 weeks of pregnancy, and she rang it in by throwing up several times.

She didn’t throw up once up until she hit 14 weeks pregnant, but since that day – she’s had some VERY rough days and early mornings.

Jane started to get a really bad headache yesterday and during the night it turned into a migraine.  The pain in her head was so bad it caused the nausea which in turn caused her to throw up.  I was hoping that Jane’s Sweet 16 weeks of being pregnant was going to be a smooth and easy day, but I was wrong.  Heck, for that matter, I thought that the second trimester was going to be smooth sailing.

When I woke up this morning, I walked out into the living room and saw Jane sleeping on the couch.  She woke up and I could tell that morning sickness / nausea was kicking her butt hard.  She didn’t look good.  We talked for a few minutes and she asked me to make her some toast and told me she had already through up a few times, but she hasn’t eaten yet.

If I’ve learned anything over the last few weeks, it’s that an empty belly and a pregnant women do not mix.  That’s a sure fast-track way to nausea land.

So I made her some toast and went to give it to her, but she wouldn’t take the plate.  ”Are you OK babe?”  No response.  I then heard a deep rumpling sound come from her belly that sounded like a very angry monster screaming in a dark, deep cave. 

Jane jumped up and ran to the bathroom…

She didn’t quite make it in there in time and we’ll just say missed the target.  I went in there and rubbed her back while she threw up.  Instantly those feelings began to emerge that I talked about in a recent blog post about pregnancy week 14.

I felt so bad for her.  I wished there was something that I could do.  I felt so helpless.

Jane went back into the living room and I went back into the bathroom armed with paper towels, cleaning supplies, a plastic bag, my shirt over my nose, and thoughts of walking on the beach dancing around in my mind of all things to avoid thinking about what I was doing.  My stomach had already done a few summersaults; I didn’t want to be praying to the porcelain God myself so I focused on the wonderful imaginary walk on the beach I was having.  Sounds crazy, but it worked.

By the time I got everything cleaned up, Jane was eating her toast.  And now, it’s been about an hour and Jane is feeling better.  Her headache is still there, but nothing like what it was.  She hasn’t thrown up.  And I’m hoping that today, the day my beautiful wife is Sweet 16 weeks pregnant, she feel better fast and has a wonderful nausea and headache-free day.

Sometime today we’ll take a picture of Jane for her 16 weeks pregnant belly picture.  I’m shocked how much her belly has grown over the last 2-3 weeks.  You can TOTALLY tell she’s pregnant now.  There’s no hiding it especially in Texas where you don’t need a winter jacket.

So yes, today our baby is the size of a small stud finder!  :)

Father-to-be update at the sweet 16 weeks of pregnancy

If you’re a frequent visitor to our little pregnancy blog here, you know that we’re having a tough time financially with the economy, business, and the huge doctor bills that we have to pay every month.  Dare I mention another *surprise* bill came in for Jane’s blood tests a month ago.  I called them telling them I already paid the bill there, the company doesn’t believe me so they’re making me fax the receipt over to them.

Scary thing is that the bill that was sent to us in the mail listed other tests that were not on the original pregnancy blood tests receipt.  So I’m hoping there is a mistake somewhere, or there goes another $300.  That’ll make this month the most expensive so far.  $550 for the doctors visit the other day, maybe another $300 for blood tests (I had already paid then $250 or something), and a whopping $900 in 2 weeks for the ultrasound to find out the sex of our baby and to make sure everything is A-OK with our baby.  That’s a whopping $1,750.

Where did I put that bottle of vodka?

Father-to-be Stress.  I’ve been walking a LOT lately; several miles a day.  Yesterday was at least 6-7 miles.  I’m doing all I can to try to keep my stress levels down.  I’m also reading a book written in 1950 about attracting good things into your life.  It’s helpful because more than anything else, I need to bring my mindset back to thinking about what I want for myself and my family rather than focusing on what is lacking in our lives.

What you focus on grows - and lately all I’ve been thinking about is the lack of money, the lack of feeling good, and being overwhelmed by stress.  So I’m working on that.

As far as our house, I have been spending time researching and planning out what we’ll be doing to sell.  It’s going to take a HUGE effort.  It’s going to take doing something no one else is doing to stand out like a sore thumb.  It’s going to take every creative juice I have swimming around in my head to get our house sold, but I’m feeling good about my ideas and plans.  We’ll start the process this weekend and work hard next week to see if we can sell it by next weekend.

I’ll admit… I’m embarrassed.  I’m ashamed.  I’m not looking forward to talking to Jane’s parents and telling them that we have to (or hopefully telling them that we sold) our house.  I’ll feel about the size of an ant when I talk to them about it.  Knowing me, after I tell them, before they say a word, I’ll be assuring them that we’ll get back on our feet and that I’ll be doing everything I can to ensure a safe place to live and a happy life for Jane and our baby.  But it may not be until the end of the year before we get back on our feet.

As a soon-to-be daddy, I feel – heck, I am responsible for providing a great life for my beautiful pregnancy wife Jane and our soon-to-be born baby.

Now I know many of you may not agree with me on what I’m about to say…

I have a feeling that Jane’s parents would offer us a loan that would keep us afloat for a few months while I work my tail off trying to get things going, but I cannot and will not go that route.  For me, I know this may sound crazy, but I feel like that would be taking the easy way out and open a can of worms I’d rather not open.

And believe it or not, it would be more stressful for me knowing that we owe Jane’s parents money than having to pack up and move into a house 1/3 of the size of what we’re in now.  When it comes to borrowing money from friends/family, each time I’ve been involved in a transaction on either side, things did not go well at all.  In fact, I don’t talk to any of those people I’ve loaned money from or have loaned money to.  So I have a bad taste in my mouth going that route.

Although I shouldn’t take 100% full responsibility for our financial collapse because it is in fact directly related to the economy, but I do.  As a recently married couple, in a new house, with a baby on the way, we should be all gitty and getting ready to start working on the nursery in 2 weeks once we find out if we’re having a boy or girl.

But instead, I’ll be packing up all of our stuff to move somewhere else.  To go from owning a nice, big, and beautiful house to becoming a renter stings – and it stings a lot.

However, Jane and I have talked a lot about it.  And after a lot of tears shed, we know that deep down it’s the right move – and we know deep down that we’ll bounce back.  Take one step back then two steps forward as the saying goes…

I feel funny about sharing all of this here.  And in the past when I’ve posted about my stress and our financial situation, the moment I click on “publish” I get a weird feeling in my stomach.  I feel like I’m exposing too much.  I feel like I’m standing there naked in the middle of Times Square in New York City.

But on the other side of the coin, what we’re going through right now is all directly related to our baby.  We’ll always do anything and everything for our little one – and we’ve already started.  This is all part of our journey to parenthood.  And someday in 17-20 years when we sit down with our child and show him/her these blog posts, s/he will hopefully be even more proud of his/her parents.

We haven’t met you yet, but we’re already doing everything we can to make sure you’ll be safe and happy.  And if you are reading this 17-20 years down the road or whenever, I want you to keep in mind everything your mom and dad did for you – even before you were born.  And especially keep this in mind before you buy us Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and Christmas presents.

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Yesterday pregnancy kicked my a$s, but thankfully I’m back to normal today!  Why I felt so bad with morning sickness yesterday, at 14 weeks pregnant, I don’t know.  So strange.  

I did do some research today and it seems like morning sickness doesn’t matter what week of pregnancy you are in.  Nice to know.  Damn morning sickness.

I went to bed Monday night feeling weird.  Not totally sick, but I not totally right either.  I had some high hopes of waking up the next morning and feeling a lot better.  

That didn’t happen.

I woke up with a horrible headache and the same funny feeling I had the night before.  It was the same feeling that I had while eating that salad at the hotel on Thursday night.  

Anyways, I lay on the couch waiting for the 30 minutes to pass after taking my thyroid pill so that I could eat, I felt really nauseous.  I figured I was just hungry and it would pass once I ate breakfast (happens frequently since I have to wait 30 minutes to eat).

Well I had a bagel and some blueberries and felt even worse.  I put my laptop down on the coffee table and told Tarzan to “bring me a bucket quick”.  He did and it was at the perfect time because the vomit was coming up and wouldn’t wait even a second longer.  

Needless to say, my whole day was spent in bed throwing up, feeling extremely nauseous, and having a really bad headache.  It was by far the worst day of being pregnant so far… and hopefully the last.

Poor Tarzan was a complete wreck, but still a good sport.  I’ll spare you all the vomit details, but just keep me in your thoughts that another day like that doesn’t happen.  

And to all of you that experience morning sickness in the worst way possible, know that I feel so sorry for you.  I hope it gets better soon.  Hang in there because not all days are bad ones… and the best part about it all is the reason you are sick.  

The little baby growing in your belly.

I even told T after I was done puking my guts out that in a strange way it felt good to feel really sick like that from pregnancy.  It sort of made me feel like everything is A-OK in my ute and that put just a tiny smile on my nauseous, vomity face.  

PS – In the midst of feeling sorry for myself and crying yesterday, I looked up at Tarzan with tears in my eyes and vomit  dripping from my mouth and said, “If I can’t handle this, how am I going to push a baby out of my vag.?”

He said, “You need to start doing prenatal yoga to learn how to breathe.”

My response, “Uh, not what I was looking for.”  :(

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I highly doubt Jane would be jumping on this right now, especially after the non-stop nausea and morning sickness today.  

However, I thought I’d share what I found.  It’s called, “Dancing Thru Pregnancy“.  They’ve been around for 25 years.

You can also check out a recent article posted by the NBC Connecticut website.

Now obviously I don’t see Pregnant Jane doing anything like this right now now, but maybe once she gets through this horrible sickness stage she may be up for something like this?  I think it would be good for her and fun for her to do.  Not sure if they’re any local place around these parts, but worst case I could crank on some 80′s music or something and watch her jam out.

Has anyone done this or heard of this?

Really, there needs to be something for soon-to-be dad’s to do.  And don’t say we should dance, because if anyone saw this boy dance, they’d be rolling on the floor laughing, and that wouldn’t be good for pregnant women!

OK… I might as well admit this now since we’re on the subject of dancing because it makes me think of music…

If Jane is feeling better tomorrow, I’m going to ask her to record a song with me.  You see, a few days ago I wrote a song about pregnancy and I thought it was pretty good.

Neither Jane or I can sing whatsoever, so I’m sure it will turn out horrible… but it’ll be fun.  I’ll record it, and get it up on this site sometime.  Hopefully she’s up for it tomorrow.  If not, one of these days I’ll get her to sing the song I wrote about pregnancy.

Now don’t think I’m some professional sound recorder or anything.  If I can get Jane to do it, we’ll be singing into my webcam microphone.  ha ha!  Stay tuned… you may be hearing Jane and I sing a song in a few days!

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