I’ll just go ahead & admit it right now:  I was cocky about how easy it would be to lose weight postpartum.  Obviously I’d never had a baby before & I was not factoring in how my body has changed from pregnancy.

I really thought losing weight would be a piece of cake.  Simple.  Very easy.  Damn, how naive I was!

Monkey turned 9 months old a few days ago &  I’m still not back to my pre-pregnancy clothes… but I have come to realize that no matter how much weight I lose, my body is just different.  Different meaning that even if I weighed the same amount as I did before I was pregnant, who knows, my clothes still might not fit just right.

And even though that is not the way I wish it was, I do accept it because I was able to carry Monkey inside of me for 9 months.  My body is a lot more flabby right now, but that’s just the product of having a baby.  And that’s okay.

But what’s not okay is the fact that I feel so lost on how to lose weight just to feel more healthy.  Screw fitting back into my size 4 jeans; I just want to slim down my muffin top.  (It’s the little things now!)

As you know, I’ve been doing StrollerFit five days a week (sometimes six) & I usually take Monkey for a walk/jog in the afternoon, or do P90X, 30 day shred, or a similar video.  Yes, I am stronger & my friends have even been able to see a difference.  I know that I’m getting there but it’s easy for me to become discouraged.

Since January I’ve been doing Nutrisystem.  I love the convenience of not having to cook, but I haven’t had too much weight loss from it.  I talked to a counselor & was told that I was not eating enough due to the amount of exercise that I’ve been doing (burning about 600 calories a day).

I was told to add a protein bar after my morning workout & a fruit before the workout.  I was convinced this would be just what I needed, but nope, it’s not.  The scale isn’t moving.  I know that muscle weighs more than fat.  I know that I should measure my inches so I can see some progress, but I’m a scale kind of girl.  I like seeing the numbers go down.

I know, I know… I shouldn’t be complaining…  but I am.

I’ve had this gut feeling that I should stop Nutrisystem for about a week now.  I’ve been ignoring it simply because Nutrisystem is mindless.  No cooking except popping a bag of veggies in the microwave at night.  Simple.  But I don’t think I can ignore the feeling I have anymore.

You can cook your NS foods in the microwave or on the stovetop.  I prefer to pop the food in the microwave because it’s fast & easy.  That being said, I have serious issues with microwaving every dinner & sometimes at lunch.  I mean, that cannot be good for a person.

I also have slight issues with the fact that my food arrives in a box, that does not have to be refrigerated or kept in the freezer.  Breakfast, lunch, dinner, & my desserts can all live on the shelf in my pantry.  To me, this is odd.

Not that I’m striving to eat clean, but NS is appealing to me less & less lately.  So much so that I think I’m going to cancel my order today.  But that leaves me with having to cook meals & even find meals to cook.  (I don’t like cooking & I don’t pretend to like it.)

I think the way to go is good ole calorie counting.  Calories in vs. calories burned.  Easy.  Or at least that’s my thought.  Lots of fruits & veggies.  Little to no junk.  Lots of water.  Exercise.  The pounds should just melt off.  Oh, yeah, that’s exactly what I thought about Nutrisystem too.

I took a look at Weight Watchers, but the site alone frightens me.  I just don’t get it.  How do you know how many points foods are?  How do you know how many points you are allowed?  I thought about going to a meeting, but I’m nervous & I don’t know why.  I guess I just don’t want to look like an idiot since WW is very popular & apparently very easy for other people to follow.

I also looked at SparkPeople.com.  It looks good & it’s free, but it makes me nervous to keep track of everything.

I know that my apprehension to all of this dieting stuff is just because it’s so foreign to me.  Before getting pregnant I never had to worry about this stuff, so now I feel lost.  I need a direction, but I don’t know what to do.  If any of you have any insight on WW, SparkPeople, or anything else that I should know about, please let me know.

Who knew that losing weight would be so hard after pregnancy?  Oh & combine that my hypothyroid from pregnancy – weight loss is definitely kicking my ass.

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Today marks my second visit to the gym to get rid of this unwanted pregnancy weight.  I went straight to the elliptical machine & set the time for 45 minutes, plus the 5 minute cool down.

After 30 minutes I was losing my stride & wanted to call it quits, but then George Michael’s “Freedom” came on my iPod & I started to increase my pace.

Ahhh, nothing like good music that gets you pumped up, right?!

After completing my goal of 50 minutes & burning exactly 400 calories, I started to focus on legs, hips, & thighs.  Now here is where the whole orgasm topic comes into play.

Before I got pregnant I went to the gym daily.  One of the first times that I went, I got on the leg machine where you sit down & the bar goes over your calves.  You pull your legs in with the weights.  Know the machine I’m talking about?

Well this one time I got on it, I felt a strange feeling.  Of course I didn’t stop pulling the weight with my leg & the feeling became more intense… Yes, I had an orgasm on the damn leg machine.  I was freaking out after & looking around to make sure that no one saw me… You know, in case I had a certain look on my face.

Thank God that the gym was empty that night.  Never again did I get on that leg machine & you guess it, I didn’t get on it today either.  Having an orgasm is cool, but having an orgasm in public around sweaty people on a gym machine is not so cool.  At least in my opinion.

Has this ever happened to anyone else???

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Let the losing of my pregnancy weight begin. *cue Biggest Loser music*

Today was Day 1 of going to the gym & it was awesome.  Once I actually get my ass to the gym I develop a new attitude, almost instantly.  It’s just getting to the gym that is the problem.

I actually had to re-join the gym & did that yesterday.  The trainer that was signing me up was totally trying to get me to pay for some training sessions too.  I, very matter of factly, told him that I didn’t need a trainer.  It’s true – I don’t.  I’ve worked out my whole life & I’ve had trainers in the past.  I know how to use the equipment & my focus right now is to lose this pregnancy weight & get back down to my normal weight.

I told him, “Even though it may not seem like I know what I’m doing in the gym, I do.  I just haven’t been in a while & had a baby.”  He said, “Oh, I’m not judging you, but when I was in high school I ran track, blah blah blah, & after I met with a trainer last year I’m more efficient.”

Good for you, I said.  I have issues with some of these trainers that don’t know what they are doing out there.  If we were talking Jillian or Bob from the Biggest Loser, I’m game.  I know they would kick my ass in a good way.  But regardless, I know that I can do it on my own & if I struggle then I’ll re-evaluate if I want a trainer… & that’s just what I told Mr. Personal Trainer himself.  I don’t think he liked me very much after that.

Anyways, today was my first day back & I was stoked to go.  I just had to wait for Monkey to go down for his first nap of the day.  After he was sleeping, I threw on my clothes & left in a heartbeat.  So excited.

I ended up doing the elliptical for 45 minutes, treadmill (walking 1 minute & running 1 running) for 10 minutes, & the bike for 5 minutes.  My goal was to get in an hour of cardio, so I was successful!  After cardio I worked on strength training for my arms & shoulders.  It was a good workout & I was gone for 1.5 hours.

I purposely did not bring in my cell so that I could have this time alone & it was nice.  I had the music on my iPod turned up really loudly & I just enjoyed my gym time.  I know it’s something I’m going to look forward to daily.

OK, here’s where I’m thrilled this is an anonymous blog… I weighed myself today & the numbers are high.  I mean, really high.  I know numbers are just numbers, but it was painful to see 187.2 on the scale.  Yuck.  I’ve never weighed this much in my entire life.

And the reason that I’m sharing that large number with you is for accountability & motivation.  I want to happily report that I’m back to my normal weight as soon as I can.  Oh, and I tried on normal (read: non-maternity) pants the other day… Um, size 12.  A freakin’ size 12.  Good grief.

So yeah, I have a ways to go, but today was the start of that journey.  & most surprisingly, I’m not letting that huge number get to me.  It’s not like I’m obese at all – I guess I can be thankful that I’m over 5’6″.  Ha, ha.

So if you want to join me on this accountability thing, feel free!  I need all the motivation I can get.  I’ll leave you with my current short-term goals.

My goals right now:

1.  No more Dr. Pepper

2.  No more fast food, even Chick-Fil-A

3.  Go to the gym at least 4 times a week

4.  Drink lots of water

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I went out to pick up lunch for me & Tarzan today.  While I was standing in line to order my sandwich a girl walked in holding a baby.  I didn’t think too much about it.  Her baby looked to be a couple months younger than Monkey & she was holding him in her arms.

A lady came in behind her and said, “Is that your baby?”  The girl replied that it was her baby.  The lady asked if it was a boy or a girl & was told that it was a boy.  Then the woman, quite rudely I might add, asked how hold the girl was.  Obviously I was quite shocked at the balls of this woman to ask a question like that.  The girl replied that she was 19 years old.

Eh, whatever.  Old, young, rich, poor, black, white – It doesn’t matter.  While an older mom might have more experience with being around kids, I don’t think that it’s fair to think that a young mom won’t be a good mother… Or whatever the older woman was thinking.

But then the older lady asked how old the baby was.  The young mom said that he was 2 months old.

At that point I started to think about Monkey when he was 2 months old.  As my mind started to remember that that was the time when I started feeling better about him & started to like being a mom, I was interrupted by the older lady telling the younger one how fabulous she looked.

Yeah, that’s right.  She just had a baby two months old & was rail thin.  Like Heidi Klum doing the Victoria’s Secret show after just having her baby.  She looked perfect.

It was at that time where I turned around & faced forward.  I kept hiding behind my sunglasses & thanking my lucky stars that Monkey wasn’t with me.  I didn’t want to be compared to the Heidi Klum of post-pregnancy.

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It may seem a little funny for me (Tarzan) to be posting a blog post about how to lose weight and your belly after pregnancy, but bare with me here, I have a great reason!   You see, shortly before Monkey was born, Jane and I discussed the idea about her documenting her post-pregnancy weight loss story.

We knew it would add a little unwanted pressure on her because she’d be be taking weekly photos and sharing how she is losing weight and belly fat after pregnancy.  (And we all know the pressure we put on ourselves to lose weight sometimes is more than enough!)

After we discussed it for awhile, I told Jane to think about it and we’ll talk about it after Monkey is born and she can do whatever she wants.  Well, the other day I added a little blurb on the pregnancy week by week pictures page on the bottom that mentioned that we’ll be sharing some post pregnancy photos.  So I bet you can guess what Jane bravely decided to do!

So that leads me to why I’m the one writing the first of several posts (And don’t worry, Jane will be taking over blog posts on the pregnancy weight loss subject soon).

The reason is because Mommy Jane is working on a few blog posts and trying to write when she has time in between all the breastfeeding she’s doing.  (Breastfeeding a newborn as many of you know takes up quite a bit of her time!)  And before too much time passes she asked me to help her with the first one here, especially since Jane is breastfeeding at this very moment!

So what is Jane going to do to lose the weight she gained during pregnancy and lose the baby fat on her belly?  Well, let’s see what Jane wants me to write here…

First, Jane wants me to document her final pregnancy weight stats for you:

Total weight gain throughout her pregnancy: 37 pounds

Maternity pants size: 10

Maternity shirts: Medium

Dresses: Large

Stretch marks: None on her stomach, just a couple small ones on her hips

Belly button: It stayed in

Feet: Grew a LOT.  Went up 2 sizes and were wider = none of her shoes fit!

Hair: Got really long, past her bra strap in the back and none fell out while pregnant

Fingers: Unable to wedding ring – and still can’t

Now as far as Jane’s secret on how to lose weight and her belly after pregnancy, we all know there’s no big “secret” right?  I like adding it to make fun of the 1,000′s of “secret” weight loss tips out there and magic pills.  LOL  I figured the best way to do this was for me to act like a reporter and interview Jane for you.  (NOTE: Jane will be replying to any of your comments/questions below, so feel free to ask her questions!)

Tarzan: So my beautiful Mommy Jane, how much weight have you lost now that it’s been 2 weeks to the day that you’ve had our little Monkey?

Jane: I’ve lost 21 pounds.

Tarzan: You were on quite a dessert kick during the last couple of months of pregnancy, which by default made me gain weight, which is a topic for another day!  But let me ask you, do you still crave desserts like how you did at the end of your pregnancy, and what is it like now?

Jane: No, not at all!  I don’t even think about desserts any more.  I want to keep seeing those pounds go down on a scale and desserts wouldn’t help me in that department.

Tarzan: When do you plan on exercising?

Jane: I have to wait until my next doctor appointment, which is in a couple of weeks.  She has to make sure everything down there is healed correctly.

Tarzan: Does that mean we could have sex after that appointment!?

Jane: Ha ha ha!  If everything is heeled, heck YES!  But we will be for sure using four or five different forms of protection!

Tarzan: Hmmm… Anyway, let’s get back to your weight loss after pregnancy questions.  What do you plan on doing to lose weight and excess belly fat?

Jane: Lots of cardio including: The elliptical machine, riding a bike, walking, and trying to master running, even though I hate running.  30 day shred, which is a work out video we have upstairs somewhere you’re going to have to help me find.  Let’s see, maybe the video game Dance Dance Revolution, and ummm, free weights of course.  Although I may skip out of free weights and just lift Monkey in his car seat.  It’s heavy!  Oh, and I may join one of the stroller mom groups, that may be fun.

Tarzan: Wow!  That’s a lot of activity!  That’s great Jane!  So what about food?  Are you going to change your diet at all?

Jane: Ummm. No.

Tarzan: Ahhh, so you’re going to eat anything you want?

Jane: Everything in moderation.  I’m not going to diet or count calories.  I did think about doing Weight Watchers, but that’s not really my style.  I can’t even keep track of what boob Monkey last ate off of, so there’s no way I can keep track of numbers!  LOL  But on thing I’m thinking about is going back to being 90% vegetarian again.  That helped me maintain a good and healthy weight before.

Tarzan: Now Jane, I know a secret about you that no one here knows about – about you and weight loss.  Do you mind talking about that for a moment?

Jane: Ah, what?  What’s your secret?  Or my secret?  LOL, huh?  What are you typing?  I haven’t even said anything?!  LOL  Are you typing every word I’m saying?  Stop it!  LOL!  So what are you talking about?

Tarzan: In the past, you lost a lot of weight and kept it off up until around the time you got pregnant with Monkey.  If I remember correctly, you lost over 60 pounds in a few months.  What was your secret then?

Jane: That was when I started being a vegetarian and got serious about developing healthy eating habits and I danced my ass off for like 2 or 3 hours a day.

Tarzan: Oh yeah, you were addicted to that Dance Dance Revolution game.  For months I had those songs stuck in my head wherever I went!  So if you had a “secret”, it would be watching what you eat and doing lots of cardio?

Jane: Yeah.  Well, listening to what your body wants.  But yeah.  Because remember, I ate all the time.  Like at least six times a day!

Tarzan: Oh yeah, I forgot about that!  But you were always eating and snacking on healthy foods.  No desserts.  No fast food.  Nothing like that, right?

Jane: Yeah, that’s one thing.  I never ate fast food.  Ever.  But I would sometimes eat chips if I wanted them, remember?  But like I said before, the key is moderation.  If I wanted something I’d eat it, but stay in control.

Tarzan: Good advise for our readers there Jane!  So how much weight do you want to lose and how quickly do you want to lose it?

Jane: Well I hear that your body is different after pregnancy.  So even if you are at your pre-pregnancy weight, you may not be able to fit into your clothes.  I want to be my pre-pregnancy weight of course, but my goal is to be able to fit into all of my clothes again!  My “goal jeans” are a pair of “True Religion” are a size 27 waist.  And as far as how quickly, as soon as possible.  I have a closet of clothes just calling my name!  Oh, and shoes!  I miss all my shoes!

Tarzan: I miss the closet space we used to have before your shoes took over! Ha ha.  Will you be able to keep everyone posted on your pregnancy weight loss progress each week on our blog?

Jane: Sure if people want to read about it!  It would keep me motivated.

Tarzan: Well Jane, it’s been an absolute pleasure interviewing you today.  I’m your # 1 fan and read each and every single blog post you write!  In fact, I’m in love with you!  LOL  Anyway, is there anything else you’d like to add before we let you get back to breastfeeding?

Jane: LOL, awe, I love you too.  Well, I just really don’t know what to expect.  I mean is it a lot harder to lose weight after you have your first child?  I’d love to hear from others who have already been though this to let me know any advice they have for me.  I mean is it going to be a lot harder than before?

Tarzan: …. anything else?

Jane: …. Ummm, no.  (doooo laaa laaaa doooo leeee daaaa) *Jane signing to Monkey while breastfeeding*

Tarzan: OK.

Jane: Oh, I am worried about finding energy and time to exercise.  Why do you keep punching my boob!?

Tarzan: Monkey is punching your boob?

Jane: Ha ha, yeah.  He’s feisty right now.

Jane: I love you, I love you!  But you’re an eating machine!  Monkey, do you know I’m your mom yet?  Yeah?  Do you know?  Ohhh… Good boy.  Are you almost done with that?

Tarzan: Yeah

Jane: What do you want for dinner?

Tarzan: Hold on…

Jane: Little buddy, you’re acting like you’re starving.  I love you.  I loooove you!  You’re so sweet.  *end*

Whew!  My fingers are hurting after that!

Knowing Jane, she’ll do an EXCELLENT job documenting her journey showing how she lost weight and her belly after pregnancy.  She’s really excited about sharing her story with you – along with weekly photos and things she did each week to aid the post pregnancy weight loss process.

And any thoughts, wisdom, advice, comments, etc. you have to share, feel free to comment below – I know that Jane would love to read them!

P.S… The photo above is Mommy Jane’s (un)pregnant belly one week postpartum.  We took that last week and will be uploading another photo this weekend for Jane’s two weeks postpartum picture.

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Pregnancy Weight: No change at 39 weeks pregnant!  Again I just want to reiterate how freakin’ awesome the end of the third trimester is.  In not one word of a lie, I have been eating dessert daily and the scale has not moved.

Who wouldn’t love this?!

And mark my word, I will continue on this path until this child is out of my ute.  Because we all know, after he comes out I will be saying no to dessert and anything else that will halt weight loss… until then, bring on the dessert!  Might as well enjoy it!

Blood Pressure: 97/66

Baby’s Heartbeat: He was in the 130′s and my OB made a comment that he doesn’t like me on my back.  I moved around a little and then his heart rate went up to the 140′s and 150′s.

Baby’s Position: No change here:  Head down.  Good little boy!

Weeks my belly is measuring at: 39 weeks pregnant.  My OB made a comment that he doesn’t seem as low as the week before.  Blah.

Internal: Checking the usual stuff did not hurt.  However, she stripped my membranes and I said “Ouch, ouch, ouch” out loud.  Not really painful, but very uncomfortable.  Good thing is that it only last 10-15 seconds at the most.  Anyone can handle that!

Internal stats: 80% effaced still.  Cervix OPEN.  Dilated 1.5 cm.  Went back to a -2 station.  Doesn’t he know that he needs to be dropping down instead of going the other way?  Oy.

Baby’s Momma: Most excellent!  I feel like I’m such a trooper being pregnant and still doing the same stuff as before.  I can’t tell you how many people were shocked that I was at the Aerosmith concert last night.  Not gonna lie, it felt good when people asked me when I was due and I simply replied, “Thursday”.

I heard so many comments like, “You’re such a trooper!”, “I’m glad that you aren’t letting pregnancy stop you from doing things!’, etc.  Even Tarzan told me how awesome I was for being such a good sport.  Sure I have a little slower walk in my step and I have to go to the bathroom more, but overall, I feel good and I’m not going to let something like being pregnant keep me at home.

And it must be said, even though it could sound very b!tchy of me and I don’t know her story at all, but there was another pregnant girl in front of us at the concert.  She wasn’t as far along as I am, maybe 26 weeks at the most (and that’s purely based on the fact that I’m basically a pregnancy expert now.  Only kidding.)

She was sitting down so much of the time and it didn’t look like she was having fun at all.  Obviously it’s not a competition, but I found myself glancing over at her while I was up dancing and singing along and she was sitting down and I wanted to pat myself on the back.  Again, I don’t know her story at all or how her pregnancy is going, but on a purely superficial level (yes, I completely admit that), I felt like I was a badass for being so close to my due date and dancing the night away.

And now to redeem myself, I friended a lady in a motorized scooter while in line waiting for ice.  Technically she could walk, but since it was such a long walk and since she has really bad arthritis in her back, she opted for the scooter option.  Anyways, she was really sweet to me and we chit-chatted while waiting in the ridiculously long line.

There are these weird things when it is your turn in line and I didn’t know if her scooter would fit through there, so I offered to buy her margarita for her.  She was so thankful and it made me feel so good.  People should help people more often.  Where has all the niceness gone in the world?

Stretch Marks: NONE.  Pregnancy week 39 is being very kind to me

Swollen pregnancy feet or hands: Nope.  (Thank you!)

Belly Button: In.  I’m glad that it is still in, but I am just a very teeny tiny bit disappointed.  Not that I want a gross protruding belly button (no offense), but I just thought that having one was part of being pregnant.  You know, like a turkey when it’s done.  I thought it would be popping out by now being 39 weeks pregnant.  Hmmm, guess not.  Maybe pregnancy week 40?

Next appointment: July 21st.  I hope there is some progress because I have a feeling that we will be talking about other options if there isn’t.  My due date is Thursday, July 23rd, and my OB will only let me go to 41 weeks pregnant, which means if an induction was to be done it would happen very close to being 41 weeks pregnant.  I do not want to go this route at all, but I also know that I would be in excellent hands if I had to.  You can bet your butt that I’ll be walking a ton, having sex, and doing whatever else can be done to get this baby out on his own.

Anything you want to share that helped you?

Funny story during appointment: If you were on twitter yesterday, you know that we had to wait a long time for the OB to actually see me.  Tarzan and I are really good at keeping ourselves entertained, which is a good thing.  We were taking pictures of the random stuff in the exam room (all the pictures you see on this post) and giggling.

While I was sitting on the exam table, with my dress hiked up, panties off, and using a paper-thin cover to protect my goods, I started to tap my fingers on the sides of the bed.  T. looked up at me and was like, “Do you hear that?”  This is about the time that my giggles turned to extreme laughter.  Like from the belly laughter.

As if laughing really loudly at the OB’s office wasn’t enough (the walls are so thin there), I was shaking the bed from laughing so hard.  I guess the bed is not in the newest condition because it was making a very loud noise upon each shake that I made.  So loud that it sounded like T. and I were messing around on the bed.  No joke.  To make matters worse, T. kept on saying, “Stop Jane!”  and that made me laugh and shake even harder, which increased the noise tremendously.

Naturally all of this laughing made me have to go to the bathroom, so I composed myself and hopped of the bed.  As soon as I opened the door, I saw two nurses standing outside of our door.  It was awkward and I have a feeling that they thought something was going on in our room too.  LOL.

Sure, sex helps move along labor they say, especially being 39 weeks pregnant.  But having sex in the doctor’s office would not be the best idea!  I still wonder if the nurses think we had sex!

Big milestones this week:  Aerosmith concert and feeling like I’m just in a really good place right now.  I’m more in love with my husband than ever (and vice versa) and I can’t wait to bring our little baby boy in this world.  We had a great dinner, complete with a non-alcoholic beer for me.

We reminisced about certain parts of dating from the past 6 years and how happy we both are.  I know it sounds cheesy, but it was really sweet.  It’s nice to have been together for so long, dating and marriage, and to still enjoy each other’s company.  I’ve also wanted to be the couple who is 80 years old and still in love.  There’s just something so sweet about it.

Anyways, T. told me that while he was driving a few days ago, he just felt really proud of his family: me, our dog, and our unborn baby.  It just made him feel really happy and proud.  Isn’t that sweet?

We are starting another beginning with one another and, while it was scary when I first got pregnant, it’s so fabulous now.  We are both so excited and can’t wait to have an addition to our family.  It’s a cool feeling to be so in love and to be on this journey together.

(Mushiness over.)

Tip for all you pregnant ladies: One word: Ice.  Instead of drinking tons of water while you are at a concert, movies (if you don’t chew loudly), or anywhere else where you don’t want to constantly go to the bathroom, chew/suck on ice instead.  I learned this from the above mentioned pregnant girl and it was brilliant.  I had a ton of ice and I didn’t have to leave the concert to pee all of the time.  Brilliant!

So here we are.  Pregnancy week 39.  The clock is ticking.  LOUDLY!

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I had a great appointment today at 38 weeks pregnant.  I can’t believe I’m so close!

At my appointment last week, at 37 weeks pregnant, my OB said that she would rather him come anytime after 38 weeks.  I asked her why since I thought that 37 weeks was full-term.  (Of course my preference would be for him to stay put until closer to 40 weeks.)

She said that while it is full-term, in her experience, little white babies born at 37 weeks are usually wimpy (ex, they don’t breastfeed well, they have trouble breathing at times, etc).

Of course I asked her what babies do the best and she said that African American boys do the best, then African American girls.  Clearly she’s just talking about her own experience delivering babies, but I thought that it was interesting.

Now that I’m 38 weeks pregnant the chances of our son being “wimpy” have gone down.  Yay!

Pregnancy Weight: 38 weeks of pregnancy is being kind to me!  I stayed the same weight as last week.  This actually amazes me considering how much dessert I’ve had lately.  It’s been at least daily, sometimes twice a day.  I told Tarzan that it would be so nice to be able to be skinny and have dessert daily without worrying about weight.  Too bad that I’m not that kind of girl though.

Blood Pressure: 95/58

Baby’s Heartbeat: Started off in the 130′s and then was in between the 140′s and 150′s.

Baby’s Position: Head down.  He’s not going anywhere!  Right where he needs to be at pregnancy week 38.

Weeks my belly is measuring at: 37.5 weeks.  She said that he has clearly dropped and that’s the reason for this measurement.

Internal: Just a teeny tiny bit more pressure than the last two times, but nothing to write about.  There was a little bitty spot of blood on the glove when she removed her hand, so she said not to worry if there is a little spotting in my panties.

Internal stats: 80% effaced still.  Cervix OPEN.  -1 station.  Dilated 1 cm.  (Now I know that these stats do not mean that I’m going into labor any time soon, but I still think it’s cool that my cervix is finally open.  I bet it was due to sex that we had.  I wanted to have sex and then see if my cervix would be open by the time of my appointment.  Hmm.)

Baby’s Momma: I’m doing wonderful and enjoying being 38 weeks pregnant!  I have so much energy and am still sleeping well at night.  My anxiety is dropping for the most part (thank you Benadryl) and I’m so excited to get closer and closer to my due date.  I’ve been out with friends a lot this week and have had fun, knowing that hanging out like that might not be the easiest thing to swing in the next few weeks/months.

Stretch Marks: Not a one.

Belly Button: In, but you can see the inside when you look in the hole.  Also, my belly button hole has stretched beyond belief.  It looks really funny.  Could not have imagined if I would have ever gotten a tattoo on my lower hip.  It would be HUGE by now.

Next appointment: July 17th.

Big milestones this week: Having the final dressed up date night with my husband before we are parents to a living human, which is really crazy to think about.

38 weeks pregnant and yes, the emotions still running high.  In the car last night, as we were driving to the restaurant, I was just thinking about how much life will change when our baby is here and I got tears in my eyes.  Not sad ones, but happy and excited ones.  I’ve really come a long way from when I initially found out that I was pregnant.  I’m a whole new girl now, and while I can’t wait to meet our little guy, it’s also crazy to think about our life changing so much so soon.  Nine months really isn’t a long time at all – It goes by so quickly.  I am so glad that Tarzan and I got to have a nice date last night.

We went to a great place for dinner and then saw the Phantom of the Opera.  We had a wonderful dinner, complete with a great dessert, and then sat back in our seats to watch the Opera.

Oh, and an extra plus was that people were totally smiling at me while looking at my bump.  It made me feel really good.  One lady even gushed over me and told me that I was so gorgeous over and over.  I told her to “keep on going”.  No joke.  LOL.  I did feel really pretty and it was a great compliment to get from a stranger.

(I even got 2 compliments in the waiting room at my OB’s office today.  Maybe you just have to hit the 38 weeks pregnant mark to get continuous compliments… or maybe they just felt sorry for me being so pregnant.  I’m going to go with the first option!)

My labor pregnancy dream: So last night I had a dream…  about labor.  It was my first ever dream about labor and I’m thinking that I need to pack that damn hospital bag now, just like I promised my husband.  It wasn’t a bad dream at all, perhaps just a sign letting me know that I need to get my ass in gear about the bag.

Tarzan and I were at home and my water broke.  While waiting for my OB to call us back, we packed our hospital bags and then took off to the hospital.

Then I woke up.  The bed was dry.

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37 weeks pregnant and reminiscing… Prior to actually being pregnant, there were a few things that I associated with those particular 9 months.  I thought of the pregnancy glow, pregnancy hair, morning sickness, desserts, getting some special attention (not gonna lie), Mexican food (seriously yum), gaining pregnancy weight, pregnancy fatigue, swollen pregnancy feet and hands, stretch marks, big boobs, pregnancy sex, and nesting.

I never got the lovely pregnancy glow that I’ve heard about.  And while a few people have said, “You are just glowing” I know that they are full of crap.  The pregnancy glow is just not there and now that I’m nearing the end of my pregnancy at 37 weeks, I am simply okay with this.  (But I do have my fingers crossed that I am graced by the pregnancy glow the next time around!)

I did get the pregnancy hair, but it’s not exactly what I was thinking it would be.  I’ve always had thick hair.  I will admit, it’s nice hair that I have.  Long, shiny, thick, and all the other adjectives that go along with what you think of when you hear pregnancy hair.  Since my hair has always been thick, being pregnant has made it even more thick, which translates to a lot of hotness in the summer time, which means many, many ponytails.

It’s quite sad really, I went from styling my hair to putting it up in a ponytail all of the time.  In my mind that tells me that I need a haircut.  No one should wear their hair in a pony daily; it’s just not good.

My husband, on the other hand, is not onboard with me.  Not in the sense that he’s one of those weirdo ones that controls what the wife does, but he just asked me if I would wait until after having the baby… you know, to make sure that it’s not my hormones talking right now.

Perhaps he’s just a smart man and realizes that every single time I’ve ever cut my hair drastically I’ve hated it.  And this is over 6 years worth of haircuts.  I have agreed to listen and wait… but it does not mean that I’m enjoying it one bit.

Morning sickness.  I had it and I hated it.  Sure, it could have been worse, but no matter what level of morning sickness you have when pregnant – it just really sucks.  Throwing up and feeling nauseous are two things that I could have done without.  And I do not buy that line that people tell you to make you feel better:  Morning sickness just means that your baby is really healthy.  Yeah, right.  In my mind, that’s a crock of shit.

Desserts.  I will say (proudly, even) that I have really come to love desserts while being pregnant.  Desserts have never been a regular part in my diet prior to being knocked up so I have really enjoyed partaking when I feel like it lately.  Now that I’m at the end of my pregnancy, I have really been taking full advantage because once this baby is out, it’ll be bye-bye to the dessert world for a while.

Getting special attention, no matter how big or little, has also been nice.  While there have been people who have completely overstepped their boundaries, those stories were too far and few to focus on.  I like the extra smiles from people, the not so annoying questions or conversation starters, the door openers, and everything else that is pregnant when you see someone that is clearly pregnant.  It’s nice to know that there are still nice, caring, and decent people still in the world, despite all of the bad we hear so often.

Mexican food is delightful.  Being from Texas, it’s like a rule to like/love Tex-Mex.  Being pregnant has just completely magnified my love for Mexican food though.  It sounds good to me day and night.  Too bad that my husband isn’t as big of a fan of it, but he’s a good sport most of the time.

I’ve always known and been okay with the fact that people gain weight when pregnant.  It’s just what happens and it’s not a big deal at all.  Back in the second trimester there was a 4-week period that I gained 9 pounds.  Even though I’m okay with gaining weight, that was a lot to swallow for some reason.

Once I got over myself and realized that it was fine (and that it was the only 9 pound month I’ve had), I haven’t worried about the scale at all.  There is not one good, valid reason that I can think of as far as why I should care.  My OB isn’t worried about my weight and I’m not either.  It’s just the losing part after pregnancy that I am dreading.

Pregnancy fatigue is an interesting one.  In the beginning I don’t remember ever feeling like “Oh my gosh I need to sleep now”.  I do think that part of this is because I don’t have a job to go to daily.  If I don’t sleep well at night, I can always take a nap during the day.  But I really expected to get hit with the pregnancy fatigue bug in the third trimester.  It seems like I’ve heard from everyone just how tired and sleepy I should be.  But I’m not.  At all.  In fact, I feel like I am the same that I’ve been previously (minus being a whole lot slower).  I tend to lean towards the side of insomniac, if anything.

I always, always, always associated being swollen on some body part towards the end of the third trimester with pregnancy.  Again, not so true.  (Or maybe I’ve just been lucky thus far.)  My hands and feet are bigger, but not necessarily swollen.  My ankles are the same way too.  I feel like everything just grew a size (or two) larger, but nothing is swollen and fat.  I don’t have cankles and I’m hoping it stays that way.

Stretch marks fit into the same category as swollen limbs.  I was always afraid of having a big pregnant belly because I thought it automatically meant stretch marks would be present.  I was wrong.  I don’t know if it’s genetics, the cream I use, or the fact that I’m just one of the lucky ones, but I don’t have any to report.  (And to all of you that have left me comments saying that you got them after delivering, no offense, but I hope that I don’t join you in that.  I will continue to do the same thing I’m doing and hope that it works.  LOL.)

At the end of my first trimester (I think) I posted a blog post about having porn-star boobs.  It was like they grew overnight back then.  Since that first trimester’s growth, I have had nothing to report.  They stopped growing.  I went up one size (so far) and they’ve been at a standstill ever since.  Of course, they might have changed some, but do to my ever-growing belly, maybe I just have not noticed.

Pregnancy sex is something that hasn’t happened all of the time like I thought it would.  I’ll spare you the details because we’ve blogged enough about it, but I want to focus on sex in the third trimester.  Now I don’t know about you, but sex in the third trimester should just be put to rest until after the baby comes.  I mean, really.  I can’t speak for all pregnant ladies, but it’s just not enjoyable for me this late in the game.  It’s awkward trying to find a good position, not to mention how unflattering some of the positions can be.

I will admit that I completely ruin some of the moments during sex because I have to pee so badly.  I’ll ask Tarzan, “Uh, are you close?”  If he says that he is, then I will be a good sport and hold it for a little bit.  If he isn’t, then we must pull apart and I waddle off to the bathroom.  There was one time in particular when he, um, finished, and then I was like “help me up NOW because I have to pee”.  He helped me up, I went to the bathroom, and it was almost orgasmic to just pee.  And I’m not kidding.

And finally, the last term that I associated so often with being pregnant is the infamous nesting that you hear about.  Like the lack of the pregnancy glow, nesting has not been a part of my pregnant life.  Haven’t you read my post on the dirty dishes?!  I really got excited about the whole nesting experience, if for nothing else than to just give my house a good cleaning.  It’s weird to say, but I was excited about getting the urge to clean the ceilings at 2 am.  I have heard from some that nesting might kick in as labor approaches, so maybe there is still some hope for me after all!

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Ahhh, I made it!!  Not only has my third trimester flown by (most of the time), but I’m officially considered “full term” in my pregnancy.  This is a huge deal to me.

There’s something really comforting about knowing that my baby could be born tomorrow and chances are that he would be more than A-OK.

It’s a relief that I’ve done my best to keep him healthy and safe in my ute for 9 months already.  9 months.  Wow.

I can’t wait to meet the little guy!

I notice that I’ve become more mushy lately because it’s all I think about (most of the time).  I have turned into THAT pregnant person that I was so terrified of turning into at the beginning of the first trimester.  But it’s different.

It’s a result of being so damn excited.  And you know what?  Why shouldn’t I be?

Tarzan and I are about to embark on a whole new journey that is unlike any other we’ve ever been on.  We are about to join a new club, The Parent’s Club.  We are about to find out what everyone means when they say that it is unlike anything we have known thus far.

I can’t wait to hold my baby boy and look into his eyes and tell him that I love him.  I just cannot wait!

So I’m celebrating and patting myself on the back for making it this far.  Full-term, woo hoo!

And now onto my 37 week OB pregnancy appointment…

Pregnancy Weight: Lost 1 pound.  First time ever in my pregnancy that I lost weight.  LOL.

Blood Pressure: 93/60

Baby’s Heartbeat: In the 150s.

Baby’s Position: Head down still.  Making his momma happy!

Weeks my belly is measuring at: 38 weeks.

Internal: Again, piece of cake!  No pain, very little pressure, and over in about 5 seconds.  Easy!

Internal stats: 80% effaced.  -2 station.  Cervix closed.  No dilation.

Baby’s Momma: I hate this weather.  It’s so ridiculously hot.  I am blaming everything on the weather.  I’m slower, not because I’m 9 months pregnant, but because the weather is suffocating and causes me to take tiny steps.  I’m hotter, which is most definitely a result of the humidity.

Other than being hot, I’m doing great.  Sleeping great, but I must admit that I cannot wait to sleep on my back again.  Ahh, soon enough!

Oh and that glass of wine, beer, bloody mary, champagne, and dirty martini is getting closer and closer!

Stretch Marks: Zero.  (Note to body:  You are making me very happy.  We are almost at the end, please keep up the good job you are doing and do not present me with any stretch marks as a congratulatory gift for pushing out baby Tarzan.  I promise that I will get you back in shape if you keep up your end of the bargain.  Thanks, Jane.)

Belly Button: Still in, but getting more and more shallow.

Next appointment: July 10th.

Big milestones this week: Everything for the baby is done.  He even has socks now.  Besides packing the hospital bag (doing today) and installing the car seat (today as well), we have completed everything on my “to do” list.

We also ordered an infant CPR and childbirth DVD.  Figured it might be a good idea… Just hope they come in soon so we can actually watch them!

Just to mark it (for my pregnancy blog purpose), Michael Jackson died.  Now, I know this could be a controversial issue, but I choose to believe that he was a great entertainer and singer and died too young.  It seemed like he was on the verge of a great comeback in London and a comeback financially-speaking as well.  Just for the record, I don’t believe he was a child molester (where the controversy is)… just trapped in a kid’s mentality.  I think he had a good heart overall.  Regardless of what people think about him as a person, I think that the situation is very sad and I hope he’s in peace now.  The end.

My questions:

1.  I feel like I’m leaking a lot more lately.  I change my panties a couple times a day because they feel so damp. Sometimes it’s white, sometimes more clear, and (tmi) sometimes I feel like there is a smell attached to it.  Could I be leaking amniotic fluid?

My OB said that it’s ridiculously hot outside and I’m very pregnant, which is not a good combination.  She said that I’m not leaking amniotic fluid because she didn’t feel any “wetness” during my internal.  Chances are it’s just discharge from being pregnant and then sweat from the 100+ degree weather we have.  Nothing to worry about!

2.  How long after I eat should I feel the babe moving around?

She said about 30 minutes.

3.  I told her that I hadn’t felt like he moved around as much as he usually does after eating breakfast.  She said that she would monitor him for a little bit.  (I had no idea what this meant, by the way.)

The nurse told me to lay on my left side and she strapped two belts around my belly.  The belts had transmitters on them that monitored his heart rate for a period of times.  There are 3 “levels” that were measured:  green, yellow, and red.  Green and yellow are healthy, but you don’t want to see red on the printout.  Most of mine were in the green, no red.

I guess my OB usually monitors the heart rate for about 10 minutes and she looks for 2-3 good movements in that time.  When there is a movement, the heart rate spikes up.  She came in to check me after 3 minutes and there were already 3 good movements, so she said that he looks fine and there is nothing to be worried about!

I am such a worrywart!  The crazy thing about those movements were that I did not feel them at all, but I’m just glad that he is good and healthy!

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Pregnancy Weight: Didn’t look.  Nurse said it was up 1 pound.  ”Doing good”, she said.

Baby’s Heartbeat: In the 150s.

Baby’s Position: Head down, just like a good little boy.

Weeks my belly is measuring at: 37 weeks.  I know this doesn’t really mean much, but it’s interesting to know because each week I measure the exact week that I’m currently in.

Internal: After hearing on our pregnancy blog and on twitter, I was nervous.  I mean, really nervous.  I’d heard some bad things about what is called the internal.  I was telling the nurse what I heard and she laughed.  Even my own husband, who does not have a vagina, giggled a bit and told me that it wouldn’t be that bad.

Guess what?

The nurse and Tarzan were both right.  I’m not sure what determines whether a pregnancy internal exam hurts or not, but mine was a breeze.  Seriously.  There was a tiny (and I do mean tiny) bit of pressure towards the end, but that was all.  Not even as much pressure as a pap smear.  I was worried about nothing!

Internal stats: 70% effaced.  -2 station.  Cervix closed.  No dilation.

Baby’s Momma: I’m hot and getting ready for many things:  To meet my little boy and to have my body back.  Everyone who has ever told me that pregnancy sucks in the summer time is 100% correct, especially when living in Houston during this ridiculous heat wave that won’t give up.

Stretch Marks: Still none.

Belly Button: Still in.  (Thank you very much.)

Next appointment: July 2nd.

Big milestones this week: The nursery is finished with the exception of wall art.  Since there is not a baby theme throughout the room it’s quite difficult to figure out what to put on the walls.

A/C is a must.  All. Of. The. Time.

Checking things off of my “things to do before baby comes” list left and right.  Today I bought some Size 1 diapers and that was such a fun experience starting at a bazillion diaper brands trying to predict the future and know what the baby will like.

My questions:

1.  The past few days I’ve been having a crampy feeling, like I used to feel right before I started my period.  It’s not full-on cramps, but just that awkward feeling that lets you know that bad cramps and a period are coming.  What is that?

My OB said that it’s probably Braxton Hicks contractions.  I was happy to hear this because another question I had was that I didn’t really think that I had felt any BH contractions and wondered if that was normal.  (It is normal she said.)

2.  What do real contractions feel like?

She said that they feel like really strong menstrual cramps, getting worse each time.  She also said that I would “just know” when they were coming and that my whole belly would be hard to touch.  She also said to call her after I’d been feeling contractions 10 minutes apart for at least an hour.  Easy enough.

3.  If and when my water breaks while at home, is it imperative to get to the hospital ASAP?  Do I have time to take a shower?  Take the dog to the boarders?

She said to give her a call if it does break.  Chances are she would tell me to just shower at the hospital.  She said that she probably wouldn’t recommend dropping our dog off first.  It would be a better idea to have a friend or family member come over to do that for us.

4.  Being that the weekend is here, what can I expect after the internal?  Spotting?  Bleeding?  Cramping?

She said that since there wasn’t any blood on her glove after she did the internal, she didn’t think that I would have any spotting or bleeding.  If I do have a little, it’s ok.  If I have a lot, like to fill a pad when on your period, I should call.  I shouldn’t have any cramping either.

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