Almost to celebrate being close to being out of the second trimester, I had a meltdown yesterday, complete with lots of crying.  I don’t know what my problem is, but being pregnant is really hard on me at times.  

Part of me thinks it’s because this was a surprise pregnancy.  Part of me thinks it’s because I’m not around babies and none of my friends are pregnant.  

Thank God for this pregnancy blog because it’s the only way that I can relate to other people who are like me and going through the same thing.

So just a little disclaimer before you read the following because I don’t want you to think otherwise:  I am thrilled that I’m carrying a child.  I feel so blessed to be pregnant.  And I cannot wait to meet him in July.  

I know that things will fall into place, no matter how hard it might be or how many sleepless nights I have.  Tarzan and I will love him and be so thankful for him.  We will be a little family and it will be the greatest feeling in the world.

Now onto the post…

Being pregnant, on the other hand, is something that isn’t always easy and happy for me.  Sure, I love the thought of the miracle that’s growing in my belly.  I love feeling my son kick me and knowing he is there.  I love the idea of what’s going on inside of me, but I struggle with other things.

Feeling fat.  I know, I know:  I’m pregnant.  I’m totally not complaining about the amount of weight I’ve gained because I feel okay with that.  It’s just my whole body is different and changing for a baby.  

My stomach is so big that I can’t see my vagina anymore.  My arms are more flabby.  My butt has grown.  My legs feel bigger.  My boobs are complete with blue veins, as is above my belly button.  My feet have grown.  I do not wear my wedding band anymore because it is too snug and bothers me.  My hair is a lot thicker and seems to get frizzy easily.  And don’t even get me started on what’s going on with my hips…

While it’s for a good cause, it’s still damn hard sometimes.  Especially when you are sitting on a balcony looking into an awesome pool with girls your age having drinks and looking fabulous in their bikinis.  Or even when you stand in front of the mirror naked .  Just sayin’.

Hormones.  Lately I’ve been a crying mess.  I feel like I have two personalities: Nice Jane and Don’t-even-think-about-f*cking-with-me Jane.  Sadly, the latter personality keeps appearing lately.  It’s so amazing to me how I can absolutely be furious with my husband and tell him to “shut up” one minute and then the next minute I feel so awful and couldn’t be more loving towards him, all while I apologize profusely for being mean.  

I mean really, who am I nowadays?!

Anxiety.  I don’t know what’s happened to me but I’m not the easy-going, no worry kind of gal anymore.  Oh no.  Now I’m this paranoid most of the time person.  It’s caused many sleepless nights because I just worry at the thought of someone breaking into our house and killing us, even though I remind Tarzan to put the alarm on every. single. night.  

It’s caused me to not want to drive at night because I’m just scared something bad will happen.  Or in bad weather because I *might* get in an accident.  

Sure, maybe all of this has set in because it’s just not me anymore.  Now it’s me and my baby in my stomach, but I could do without going through my daily life fearful that something bad could happen.  It’s really awful, to the point where I think that I need medication, but that’s probably a no-no being that I’m pregnant.  

Pregnancy has definitely changed me, but not into the person I always thought I’d be when I was pregnant.  It’s more of a fearful, panicky person who freaks out when her husband is talking on his phone because she is hungry.  A lot more crazy, if you will.

I guess it’s all change.  The unknown.  Having to act one way before your child is actually here.  Or maybe it’s just preparation for when he arrives.

Maybe if our pregnancy would have been planned, I would get on the ball about registering and not feel overwhelmed by it.  Maybe I would feel okay with my hormones and changing body.  Maybe my friend wouldn’t think that I’m being inconsiderate to her.  Maybe I’d be a calmer person.  

But I’m not.

And the thing is, I hate talking about this and, besides talking to one of my good friends and my awesome husband, I never do.  I feel like I’m going to jinx myself into something bad happening.  I feel like it makes me sound like I’m the worst mom-to-be in the whole wide world.  I feel like it means that I’m not excited about having a baby (which is totally not true).

It’s just getting to that last part.  

I cannot wait to have a son and learn what that’s like.  I know that I’ll cherish him and embrace him with my all.  But this transition period (aka being pregnant) has thrown me for a loop.  It’s completely messed with my head and made me feel unsure of myself.  Not confident.  Not pretty.  Not smart.  And I know that my friends and family are wondering why I don’t seem more excited about preparing for this baby.  

Is it possible to go through these feelings but still feel so lucky, blessed, grateful, thankful that I’m pregnant?  To even feel relieved that I’m pregnant, even though I don’t feel like I’m dealing with it very well?  

I know deep down that these are (hopefully) normal feelings and that everything I’m feeling/going through is normal, but it’s hard when I don’t have anyone to talk to about it.  I also know deep down that I’m not a bad person for thinking this stuff and struggling at times with being pregnant.  It’s making me a stronger person and I will get back to the person I used to be in time.  

And that person will be an even better, stronger, more loving girl than I was before and that will be because I will know love from having a child.  I will be more fulfilled and more complete… even though I’m not quite there yet.  And I can’t wait to experience all of those new feelings!

PS – My awesome husband booked me an 80-minute pre-natal massage after he listened to me cry and talk about my feelings, all while holding my hand and telling me things would be okay and that I wasn’t an awful person at all.  How did I get so lucky?!

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I posted last week about my OB wanting me to have another ultrasound to check the growth, anatomy, and “esp. cardiac”.  I told you my worries about this and how Tarzan calmed me down.  I really have a wonderful husband!  Even though I was anxious when we got to the hospital, all of those feelings went away as soon as the ultrasound started.

Our ultrasound tech. was really great and explained so much more of what we were seeing than the other tech. did.  We saw a lot more detail this time around too.  We saw all four chambers of the little papaya’s (he’s about that size) heart and his heart beat was a healthy 155 bpm.  The tech. kept telling us that he was being a show-off because he was in the perfect position for her to get the growth measurements and to look at his heart.  

While I was laying there, flat on my back with my head tilted towards the screen, I felt funny all of a sudden.  It was a mixture of feeling lightheaded combined with a little nausea.  I had the feeling of “I need to get up right now” and so I told Tarzan and the tech. and propped myself up on my arms.  

The tech. went to get me some orange juice and I turned over to my left side for a minute.  After doing both of those things I felt so much better.  It’s funny because besides seeing the baby at the ultrasound, I was looking forward to laying on my back during it.  I never realized how much I liked laying on my back since my OB told me to stop a few months ago.

The excitement of that was short-lived and it didn’t feel so good.  I guess there is some truth to the whole laying on your back thing.

After the tech. was done getting all the measurements, the radiologist came in to take a look.  She really had a good time with the ultrasound wand on my stomach and agreed that our baby was the really showing off and that this was a picture-perfect ultrasound.  Aw, we have a shining star already!

All in all it was a great ultrasound.  It calmed any fears that I had and reassured me that the baby is growing and is healthy.  He’s currently 1 lb, 10 oz and everything with my amniotic fluid, cervix, placenta, and baby is just as it should be.  The only thing that wasn’t “perfect”, but really doesn’t matter is that he was currently in the breech position.  But since there’s still time for him to move about, it’s not a worry at all. 

I’m just so thankful that he’s doing great and growing at a healthy rate!  That’s all I could ask for!!

And on a whole other note, I’m so excited to almost be graduating from second trimester and moving to the third trimester!  It’s really going by SO much faster than I ever thought it would be!

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Today I’ve just been thinking how I don’t mind being pregnant as much as I did when I was having migraines, morning sickness, and fatigue to the point where I didn’t want to get off the couch.  This is definitely my favorite part of pregnancy so far… and I do hope that it will only continue to get better in the next few weeks.

I agree with the people who told me that the second trimester was the best part because it truly has been.  It’s sort of getting a bit awkward since my belly is getting bigger, but that’s really the only “negative” thing and it’s not really negative at all.  

I love, love, love having a more defined bump.  I welcome my belly to keep on growing!  I just wish that it wasn’t so awkward when I try to sleep, but that, I can deal with.

So I’m just curious, what is your favorite part of pregnancy thus far?  Or if you are a reader who already has had your baby, what did you like most about being pregnant?

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Whew, what a busy past couple of days it’s been this week being 21 weeks pregnant.  Good thing that the second trimester energy is not a lie because I’m not sure how I would have functioned this past week.  My favorite part of being pregnant so far has definitely been this past week.  So many milestones have come with being 21 weeks pregnant and it’s been pretty amazing!

First, I wanted to give you a recap about the bachelorette party that I went to.  I will admit that it was not as awful as I expected, but it was still pretty boring.  Our night started off at dinner and of course I enjoyed the yummy Mexican food!  It was my favorite part of the night!  Ha, ha!

After dinner we went out to a few bars.  This was my least favorite part.  I tried to be such a good sport, but really, being in a bar with a bunch of drunk people while pregnant is something that I hope to not do again.  I’m not going to lie, the best part was people watching.  It’s such a different view being on the sober side of things in a bar.

There were these 2 guys that invited us over to their reserved table and they ordered veuve-clicquot champagne (my fav!).  It was a little awkward when they had the waitress pour us all a glass and I told the waitress that I didn’t want any.  Who wouldn’t want some clicquot?!

Immediately one of the guys asked why I was not drinking, to which I replied, “I’m pregnant“.  Oh.

Then he looked down at my hand and said, “You’re married?“, to which I said, “Yes, I am“.  Oh again.

Then he looked around our table to see who else was married/engaged.

Here’s the weirdest part: 3 of us were married, 2 engaged, and 1 in a serious relationship.  We were upfront with them that their champagne ordering smoothness, while nice, would not get them anywhere with us… But this didn’t stop them.  I ended up leaving at midnight (Tarzan picked me up) and the guys had ordered 3 bottles of champagne at $165 per bottle.

Sorry guys reading this, but what suckers they were!  Yes it was nice, but c’mon.  (You don’t know how sad it was to not be drinking my fav kind of bubbly for free too.)

In other news, I am the proud owner of a ton of new maternity clothes.  With everything going on these past few months, I decided to treat myself to a day of pampering, although it never got to that point.  I was far too tired from shopping to get a massage and other things.  Gap, Old Navy, and Banana were having the Friends and Family 30% discount coupon and I fully took advantage of it.

I took a lot of y’alls advice about pregnancy jeans and bought some from Gap. I LOVE THEM!

You all were right; they are so completely awesome and I recommend them to all pregnant ladies.  I bought 3 pairs and a couple of really cute shirts from Gap.  I got some fun summer dresses from Old Navy, not maternity though, which I hope doesn’t come to bite me in the a$$ in the next few months.

The maternity section at my Old Navy is just awful, so I ventured off into the “regular” section because the dresses caught my eye.  I tried on mediums and they were close to fitting my bump, so I ended up getting larges instead.  You know, to grow in.  I also got some great shirts at Motherhood too!

The best part about being pregnant is the fact that I seem to bond with other pregnant girls in the maternity section whenever I go.  Before getting pregnant, I never cared about meeting new friends while shopping.  I was on a mission and that was that.  Well, it’s all changed since being pregnant.  I need pregnant friends that know what I’m going through and even though I’ve begged all of my friends to get knocked up, it’s just not happening.

Anyways, I made a friend while shopping.  She was totally nice and informative about all things baby.  She completely understood my (silly) questions about clothes and she even helped me pick sizes of shirts.  The smalls fit just right, so she suggested that I get mediums to accommodate my growing bump.  She was awesome and I ended up leaving the store with a piece of paper with her number on it.  Now I just need to remember to call her so that we can do lunch or something…

My baby shower has been brought up and I didn’t even need to take any of the great suggestions that you ladies made.  I was talking to one of my friends the other day and she asked me if I thought June was too late and if I could pick some dates for her.  Yay!!  I love that I didn’t have to even bring it up or wonder about it anymore.  Nothing has been set in stone, but she already looked at invitations and I need to get a list over to her soon.  I’m so excited that my friends came through… I knew that they had it in them!

Another great thing about being 21 weeks pregnant is the love I have for Tarzan.  Now, I don’t want to become a sap, but something that happened to me lately.  Obviously, I’ve always loved my husband.  I did marry him after all… but you know how my pregnancy hormones have been in the past.  Those hormones have gone from getting pissed off very easily to being very lovey dovey like all of the time.

It’s a mixture of weirdness and awesomeness all in one.  As you know, we have a really great relationship/marriage.  I am so proud of him on many different levels and I love that I’m carrying his baby.  This pregnancy has deepened my love for him and him for me.  I’ve always heard that the types of people who think pregnancy will make them closer are very wrong because it’s quite the opposite.  Pregnancy hormones make it hard.  Money makes it hard.  The change of having a baby makes it hard.

Well, so far pregnancy has made us closer.  Maybe it just depends on the kind of relationship that you have prior to getting pregnant, but we are so in love with each other and this pregnancy is what is to be credited for that.  We’ve shared our lives with you all since getting our BFP, so you know it hasn’t been an easy ride this whole time.  Difficult times or not, we’ve bonded and been a team throughout it all, and I’m just so grateful that we have that kind of a relationship.  It’s comforting and really nice and I can only imagine what it will be like in the weeks to come!

In addition to expressing my love, you can bet that I’ve been “showing” it too.  That part of our relationship has definitely bounced up and it’s really great!  So, have no fear if you are pregnant and your sex drive is slim to none.  Mine was that way until reaching 21 weeks pregnant and now it’s the completely opposite!

And perhaps the coolest, most amazing thing that has taken place this week in my pregnancy is the fact that I finally felt the baby move.  While it’s not a full kicking feeling just yet, I’ll take what I can get and I’m very happy with feeling him daily.  It’s so nice and something that I could never have imagined guessing what it would be like.

I’ve never been able to relate to “flutters”, but now that I’ve felt him, it’s a proper definition.  It’s like a carbonated feeling.  Or bubbles.  It’s pretty damn awesome and I cannot wait for Tarzan to feel him from the outside!

I guess I’ll leave you with my latest pregnant brain happening.  Last night I came home from getting takeout at PF Chang’s and apparently we slept with the garage open all night long.  I could have sworn that I closed it – I mean, I always do.  Tarzan didn’t open it, so it had to be me.

Oops!

Brought to you by: bachelorette party

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Jane is now 21 weeks pregnant and over the last few days she’s been getting those “flutters” in her pregnant belly everyone has told her about.  She was starting to get jealous of others feeling their baby kick at 18 weeks pregnant, and some even earlier!  But pregnancy week 21 has brought many baby kicks and flutters!

Also, baby Tarzan is about the size of a beer bottle according to my handy Baby Size Guide For Father’s-To-Be.

In fact, this morning Pregnant Jane told me that when she went to bed last night baby Tarzan was kicking a lot – the most EVER!  She wanted to see if she could feel it when she put her hand on his belly so she could yell up to me (I was hard at work in my office) and ask me to put my hand on her belly.

But every time she put her hand on her belly, he’d stop kicking.  That’s my boy!  He’s taking after me already.  He’s active at night and already showing signs of being stubborn!

All in all, pregnant week 20 and pregnant week 21 has been a breeze.  Morning sickness, nausea, and headaches are a thing of the past… everything has been smooth sailing over the last few weeks.  Well… except for one thing, which I will talk about in a moment…

Now I know every pregnancy is different.  Some woman have nausea and morning sickness ALL throughout their pregnancy while others have none.  And then I’ve heard about pregnant woman who have nausea and morning sickness during their first trimester, they’re fine during their second trimester, and then the third trimester brings all of the nausea and morning sickness back.

(KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK)  That’s me knocking on some wood that Pregnant Jane stays in the clear throughout the rest of her pregnancy.

However… there is one little thing that has kicked into VERY, VERY high gear over the last few weeks in pregnancy week 20 and of course in pregnancy week 21.  And I bet you know what that is… yes, hormones!

We’ve gone from the fire-breathing dragon who wanted to kill me and fight with me at the drop of a dime to a Pregnant Jane who is now very, very emotional and cries very easily.  Pregnant Jane has become a very sensitive girl.  Very sensitive.  I have to watch what I say or how I say it sometimes because of how easy things can be taken the wrong way.

I’d take this during and after pregnancy week 21 over that fire-breathing dragon hormone flare-up any day!  At least with these types of hormone flare-ups, I get to hug her more and comfort her more.  :)

In other news, pregnancy week 21 has also started what I think to be one of the best pregnancy hormones ever created… the enhanced sexual drive hormones.  I’m starting to see the beginning of these wonderful, wonderful hormones kick in Pregnancy Jane.  Man, I was REALLY starting to think that the next time we’d have sex would be when we’re trying for baby # 2 a year or two down the road!

Let’s just say that I have a feeling that within the next few weeks I’m going to be in TROUBLE!  Something tells me that these new wonderful hyper-drive sex drive hormones that Jane is starting to get will be kicking into high gear very soon.  I’m of course very excited about this new phase of pregnancy.  It’s been so long that I was starting to think that I was going to have to buy the “Sex for Dummies” book to learn how to do everything again!

Now what will make all of this interesting is that I’m working like CRAZY right now on a new business I’ve started.  I’m working a LOT right now – usual cut-off time has been 3 AM.  I’ve got a million things to do and very little time to make it all happen as I have a small window of opportunity.  With that said, I’m on the phone all day, on the computer all day, working like crazy, and I have a feeling that Jane will be coming up to my office many times over the next several weeks to attack me while I’m in the middle of working!

However, I have a feeling that I’ll be OK with those kind of attacks a few times a week… or who knows… maybe a DAY!!!  :)

Well, I got to get back to work – I’m so, so, so thankful that Pregnant Jane is feeling good.  I would have NO idea what I’d do if she was sick with headaches, nausea, morning sickness, etc. and stuck in bed all day.  Taking care of her when she was like that during the first trimester was a full-time job at times and I felt so bad for her all the time – it was so hard to concentrate on anything because I was so worried about my beautiful wife.

She’s feeling great – and being the BEST and most supportive wife EVER as I work my tail off to get something good going for our family before baby Tarzan is born.  She’s making sure I’m fed, she’s my business consultant at times when I run ideas by her and ask her opinions on things, and she’s just the best wife ever.  I love her more and more every single day.

By the way… this is something that I’ll talk more about sometime… but pregnancy has brought Jane and I closer and has added many wonderful feelings and emotions to our relationship.  We’re falling deeper and deeper in love with each passing day.  We actually talked about this the other day briefly.  I’ve been thinking a lot about it and will be sharing my “pregnant thoughts from a dad-to-be” on a new blog post soon.  It’s really interesting stuff!

So yes, pregnancy week 21 is going good all around for Pregnant Jane, me, and baby Tarzan – who has become an active little bugger at night!  :)

Oh, also check out Jane’s Pregnant Belly Week By Week belly picture page we have going – it’s been updated with Jane’s pregnancy week 21 belly picture.

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As you know, Tarzan and I have been going back and forth discussing various boy names that we can name our baby.  I never expected how tough this would be!  I always thought that picking a name would be one of the most exciting parts about being pregnant, but honestly, it isn’t all that exciting.  It is more complicated than anything!

Of course our baby had to be a boy, right?  See, he’s already making things difficult for us!  Just kidding… but we did have a girl’s name picked.  Just sayin’.

It seems like every name I’ve thrown out has been vetoed by his husband, especially the names I’ve thrown out during this second trimester.  It reminds him of someone he went to school with in 3rd grade.  It sounds too biblical.  Or he just plain doesn’t like it.  There has been something wrong with every single boy name that I’ve thrown his way.

Until now.  Well, actually a few weeks ago after we found out the sex from the big ultrasound.

It had gotten to the point where I was just throwing out any boy name I could think of.  I didn’t even necessarily love it.  I just wanted to rule out others until we possibly got to the right one.  Well, I said one name and I actually liked it.  To my surprise, Tarzan didn’t mind it then and we decided that we would put it in the running for THE name.

Since then we have not come up with any other names and I’m fine with that.  In fact, THE name has become a favorite of mine and I really, really like it for our son.  And I’m pretty sure that Tarzan feels the same way because…

The other day he came home and said, “You know I really like xyz and I think it would be perfect.”  

Yesterday when I went to run errands, he kissed me goodbye and kissed my belly and said, “Goodbye xyz“.  

This morning when he woke up, he kissed me and my belly and started talking to him, using THE name.

Hmm…  

I think we found our boy name!!!  

Of course we don’t have a middle name yet but we still have tons of time.  128 days to be exact.  And if my aunt tells me one more time how I have to use either my dad’s first or middle name, I will scream.  Totally different story for another post though.

So that’s my exciting news for you.  We have a boy name (at least right now we do)!

Of course, I’m taking the advice that many of you have given me and we aren’t telling just yet!  I don’t know if we’ll tell our families or friends before he makes his entrance to the world even.  I like having it a secret only between me and T…

But you can always try to get it out of us!

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I know the time will come when I will have to trade my beautiful engagement ring and wedding band for another ring to wear while I finish out my pregnancy.  I’ve heard many stories of this happening, and I’m grateful that it hasn’t happened yet.  After all, I’m only 20 weeks pregnant.  

But I know the day will come when it’s time… and really, I should be prepared for this day because I heard it can start in the second trimester.

It’s a funny situation.  I absolutely love both of my rings.  I get tons of compliments because they are vintage looking and just breathtaking.  My husband did a very good job designing both!  While it will be a sad, sad day to have to put away my rings, thanks to pregnancy and swollen fingers, I have to admit that I’m just a little excited about the thought of getting another ring that is completely opposite of what I have now.  

Really, what girl doesn’t love jewels?!

I was just looking around on Overstock to see what was available and I found a pretty ring.  Sure it’s only $20, but the reviews were good.  I don’t want something that looks extreme fake or costume jewelry-ish because I would feel dumb sporting that on my finger and I know that Tarzan wouldn’t be proud of it either.  

(He’s really picky about this stuff.  I wanted a pear engagement ring when we were looking around and I found one that I loved.  Did he share my love for it?  Absolutely not.  I got the, “Um, it looks like you are wearing costume jewelry and I wouldn’t be proud to put that on your hand.”  OK T, point taken and then we continued our ring search.)

Thankfully my fingers, ankles, and feet are still normal looking.  I’m honestly dreading the day that they become swollen and don’t get even get me started on the possibilities of cankles when pregnant.  No thank you.

When I think about pregnancy, there are many exciting things that come to mind, such as feeling the baby move, getting the pregnancy glow (that I still don’t have), hearing the heartbeat, thinking of names, shopping for the baby, growing a baby inside of you, finding out the sex, seeing my husband with our baby, decorating the nursery, and many others.

Sadly, there are also many things that come to mind that are not exciting.  In the least.  For example: morning sickness, migraines, varicose veins, acne, feeling fat, feeling like you never look cute, inner thighs touching, peeing when you sneeze, sneezing all the time and having an endless supply of snot in your nose, just feeling awkward, pregnancy hormones, and now I have to worry about swollen hands, feet, and ankles.  

Oh fun.

When did your hands, feet, and ankles get swollen?  Or did you completely bypass this lovely pregnancy stage?  

Also, if you were one of the “lucky” ones with swollen hands, what did you do about your rings when they didn’t fit anymore?  And, if you got a new one, how many sizes up from your original size did you go?  I’ve been hearing the norm is about 2 sizes.  

My wedding ring and engagement ring are a size 5, so that would mean I would jump up to a size 7. Surely a 7 would occupy my swollen hands in the hot, humid, Houston summer, right?

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All of a sudden, I’ve started to freak out this week while I’m 20 weeks pregnant.  Why am I freaking out?  Baby items. Registering.  Having a crib and a nursery in place when the baby arrives.  Researching various strollers, cribs, gliders, and all the other crap you need when you have a baby.  

The calm Jane that I used to be is quickly vanishing now that I’m in the second trimester and at the halfway point.  I’m turning into a worry-wart and I can’t say that I like it one bit!

It’s overwhelming and I feel like I’m trying to learn Chinese overnight.  The baby world is such a different world than anything I’ve been exposed to.  Not even registering for our wedding was this frightening.  I mean, I know the purpose of a blender, pans, and a can opener.  There’s absolutely no research involved; you pick what you like and scan it with the scanning gun.  

Trash cans? Easy.

Shower curtains? Check.

Every day dishes? Piece of cake.

Baby stuff?  Not so much.

I started crying this morning because I was freaking out about us having enough time to get everything we need/want in time for the baby.  Many people (including many of you) have told us to wait to purchase things until after the baby shower.  This sounds like a great idea, but I’m not sure when my baby shower will be and that brings a whole lot of excess worry into the picture.

Sure my group of 5 closest friends all mentioned that they wanted to throw me a baby shower when I told them I was pregnant.  Um, that was in November.  It’s March and nothing has been said since.  

Well that’s not true actually.  One of them sent me an email about 3 months ago and said “We need to start talking dates for your baby shower.”  Naturally I was really happy to see this sentence typed in the email!  I responded back with something like “That’s a good idea, what month are you thinking?”

Nothing else was typed.  Nothing else has been said.  It doesn’t help that none of them live in town.  All of them are all over the place and that causes this pregnant girl to worry.  Even though they are my best friends, I would never, ever, ever asked them, “So hey, what’s going on with my baby shower?  Let’s pick a date.”

I’m all about proper etiquette and would not be caught dead doing something like that, but c’mon girls.  Get to planning!

Now I know that just because I’m pregnant the world is not going to revolve about me, and that’s not what I want.  I just want something else to be mentioned about this so I know that we can go forward with them hosting it, or move onto someone else hosting it.  

Of course my mom and one of my other friends offered to throw a baby shower for me, but I told them that my other friends were doing one, so maybe they could go in with them or just do something else.  I really don’t want to have 2 or 3 different baby showers; one is enough.  

I’m not fond of sitting in a chair opening presents and fawning over each one.  That’s hard and not to mention boring for the guests.  I had like 70 people at my bridal shower and I even remember apologizing because the gift opening was taking FOREVER.  

I’ve talked about my friends before and even though I absolutely love them, I know that they have so much going on in their own lives and they aren’t all about baby stuff right now.  

Understandable? Yes.  

Frustrating (for me)? Absolutely.

One of my friends lost her job and is looking around, with no luck of course.  Another one just got engaged, so she’s all about planning her wedding (rightfully so).  Another one was laid off and has decided to go back to school.  And another one is such a workaholic that it’s hard to even catch her on the phone.  I don’t know how this will all come together.  If they have so much going on, I would completely understand if they decide not to do a baby shower, but I just want to know.

I just feel like something needs to be put in place, so that I don’t worry about it.  Like, let’s just pick a date at least.  I’ve heard that some baby furniture, like cribs, bassinets, and changing tables can take 13 weeks to arrive once ordered.  I don’t want to run out of time!  And I most certainly don’t want to cut it close.  I will be a nervous wreck and drive my husband (and you all) crazy, I’m sure!

See, I’m totally the type of person that plans things out.  If I were doing a baby shower, bridal shower, or a party for someone, I would have this sh!t planned already.  My due date is July, which is quickly approaching!

All of my friends are complete opposites of me, in the sense of planning.  They prefer to wait until it’s the last-minute, and while that’s all right in some situations, I feel like it’s not in the situation of a baby shower.  

I’m guessing the proper time to have a baby shower (when the due date is in July) would be late May or June, right?  In that case, I’ll still be a nervous wreck waiting to see what has been purchased so that I know what we need to purchase.  I feel like that’s cutting it close even.

I totally realize how anal I sound, but I’ve never been pregnant before, therefore, I don’t know what I will be like in the 3rd trimester.  I don’t know how my body will be.  I don’t know how my energy levels, back, waddling, etc. will be.  

Will I feel like putting together a crib?  I don’t know.  Will I feel like doing a bunch of stuff in the nursery?  I don’t know.  Will I be so tired that I just want to sleep and take tons of naps?  

I DON’T KNOW.

It’s the whole unknown thing that really frustrates me.  There are so many “what ifs” that could happen… and I know that I shouldn’t worry about them, but that’s just my nature.  I guess you could say that I’m a worrier.  (Like you didn’t figure that one out on your own already by reading this post.)

There are so many things that are up in the air:  

Who is hosting my baby shower?  

When will it be?  

What will be purchased so that we know what we will still need to buy?  

What if the baby shower is in June and the crib takes 13 weeks to arrive?  The baby won’t have a crib.  (I know that many of you have said that the baby doesn’t use the crib in the beginning, but I still want to have the room done, complete with the crib in it.)

Since my mom has offered I wouldn’t feel bad about talking to her about the situation.  I know she would just do it for me.  I guess I’ll just wait a little longer to see if anything gets said.  My friends and I are supposed to get together in a few weeks, so hopefully something will be said then.  If not, I’ll talk to my mom.  

That’s the best plan that I can come up with, so hopefully some kind of a decision will be made then.  Until then, I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed that everything will work out and end up okay in the end.  

After all, isn’t that really all I can do?

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Being halfway into my second trimester, I only have one pair of maternity jeans and they are full panel maternity jeans.  While I know that I didn’t need a pair of full panel maternity jeans since my bump isn’t that big yet, they were on sale a while ago and I couldn’t pass them up.  

In the summers I hardly ever wear jeans; I’m more of a dress kind of girl.  I do know that I’ll need another pair of jeans soon and I’d like to try a different style of maternity jeans this time around.  

I really like the low-rise or the kind of maternity jean that doesn’t have even have a panel, it’s just an elastic waist to appear like it is a regular jean.  I got an email from Old Navy this morning and I see that they have a pair of low-rise maternity jeans on sale.  

Did you like this kind of jean, or did you prefer having the full panel maternity jean that comes up to below your belly button?  

I have a feeling that I will appreciate the full panel once my baby bump is bigger because I’ve heard that it helps keep your pants up.  

I was at Motherhood Maternity about 2 weeks ago and the salesperson told me that their secret belly fit (which is just like my full panel jeans from Old Navy) is what most people prefer.  She said that while the low-rise kind of maternity jean sounds nice, many people have told her that it just wasn’t comfortable on their pregnant belly, or even that it really itched their bump.  

Obviously, I want your opinion on whether or not the low-rise maternity jean is the way to go.  I don’t want to waste money, so any advice you have would be great.  Also, the one pair of maternity jeans I have still fits just fine.  I’m not sure what to expect within the next 6 weeks of the second trimester, isn’t that when you grow the most?  Or am I confusing that with the baby’s growth? 

Did you find that buying maternity clothes, specifically maternity pants, in the middle of the second trimester was a good time, or should I stick with what I have and wait until the third trimester?  

So many questions…

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Happy 20 weeks pregnant to me!  I’m 20 weeks pregnant!  

20 weeks!!!  I’m halfway there! 

 *Does happy dance*  

It really seems like the past 20 weeks have gone by so quickly!  I’m so happy that the little man in my belly is doing great, I’m doing great, and Tarzan is doing great (well, when I don’t go all crazy on him with my pregnancy hormones!)  

For the past 15 weeks or so, I’ve really had a hard time with lunch ideas.  Like really hard.  And now that I’m in the second trimester, my lunch often consists of either going out to get a salad or sandwich (not good on the saving money part, I know) or it consists of having a bunch of random things that I find in the house (which really isn’t a good, healthy option).

Either way, it’s safe to say that I’m not too creative when it comes to figuring out what to make for lunch, so I need some help please.  I think part of my problem is that I don’t really plan anything out.  I’ll wait until I get so super hungry, look in the refrigerator and pantry, and find nothing.  I’ll think, “Chicken salad sounds good“, but I don’t have time to make it before the pregnancy hunger monster comes out, so I snack and snack and snack.

Not good, I tell you.

Also, there’s the fact that I’m not really a leftover kind of girl.  If I make tuna salad, chicken salad, or egg salad, I get grossed out by it staying in the refrigerator for a day or two and won’t touch it.  The only time it’s just really fabulous for me is right when it is first made, which is a problem since I don’t plan ahead.

Ahhh!

I love salads, like really love salads, but they only seem to taste really good when I make them fresh.  Again, it’s not something that I can just pre-make and have sitting in the refrigerator.  I guess you could say that I’m a little picky… or difficult… or even maybe lazy. 

I also get bored with the same thing over and over, so what kinds of veggies, fruit, or anything else do you put in your salads?  Sandwiches?  Or other lunch creation that I haven’t thought of?  Any advice or suggestions are totally helpful and appreciated!  After all, the baby and I need food, but healthier items since I don’t want to gain another 9 pounds at my week 23 pregnancy doctors appointment.  

Please share what you love eating for lunch, so that I can try to make something in the morning and have it ready by lunchtime.  I think planning ahead is this pregnant girl’s friend for sure!

My baby and I thank you in advance!

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