Yes, we’ve come full circle here.  It seems like years ago when Jane was 16 weeks pregnant and I was writing about her crazy hormones and lack of sex.  Back then, I never thought too much about what life would be like after Monkey was born as far as sex was concerned.

I mean, what’s the deal? The last time we were at Jane’s doctor’s office we asked what are some things we can do to induce labor naturally at home and she told us to have lots of sex.  I don’t know about you, but any doctor telling Jane and I to have lots of sex just secured me as a patient for life!  LOL

Maybe I was all caught up in the craziness and excitement of the next chapter in our lives.  Maybe it’s because I’ve been in such a fog lately due to the lack of sleep.  Or maybe somehow the first part of parenthood somehow switches off your sex drive for awhile.  Whatever it was, it’s gone away and I can’t wait for that damn 6-week post pregnancy follow-up appointment so we can finally get the “OK” from Jane’s doctor.

I’m telling you, the second she walks out of the room, I’m going to put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door, lock it, and… well, maybe the doctor’s office isn’t the best place.  Maybe we can wait until we get to the parking lot.  :)

So yeah, it hit me today.  I really miss Jane.  Heck, we haven’t slept in the same bed because of the shifts we’re on so we can both get a decent amount of sleep.  She just did a lot of really nice things for me today as a nice thank you for being such a great Daddy and husband.  So what did Jane do for me?  Well…

1. Mommy Jane made me breakfast: Pancakes with blueberries, scrambled eggs, some strawberries, a bowl of cut up pineapple, coffee, and orange juice.  I was in heaven!  I was so full from her GREAT, GREAT surprise breakfast that I just had a banana for lunch.

2. My neck hurt a lot for some reason today and she rubbed my neck and back for a good 20 minutes.

3. Mommy Jane gave me a really nice and sweet card.  (Two of them actually!  One from her and one from Monkey and our dog saying thank you to me as well.)  Note: I was a little concerned when I saw that our son writes bubbly like a girl, but I’m sure he’ll grow out of it.  He’s merely three weeks old, so I’m sure he will.  Our dog on the other hand has some really messy hand paw writing!

4. And she cooked a nice dinner for me – complete with a nice glass of a red wine I really like!

Whew!  I love you Mommy Jane!  Thank you so much!

What great ways to show your husband how much you love and appreciate him.  :)  I had a great day today – thank you beautiful!

So let’s talk about our dinner.  It’s been awhile since I had wine and maybe it was the wine that did it, but man… Jane just drove me wild tonight.  We both wished this horrible six weeks of no sex rule after your pregnant was somehow lifted for us.  Like we were given a pardon or something and the curse was lifted.  Jane was even up for it, but we both didn’t dare because of the risks of having sex after having a baby.

Risks?  More on that in a moment.  Now I don’t know if this is some terrible hoax, a secret government conspiracy to help keep the world’s population down, or if there is something to it.  But there are risks they say.  Believe me, I didn’t know anything about all of this before.  And just in case you’re a guy learning about this crazy rule that pretty much puts a chastity belt on your wife, here’s some info about the “no sex rule” after pregnancy:

1. Sex After Giving Birth: This page has some great info on what you can and cannot do.

2. BabyCenter: Let’s Talk About Sex: Let’s talk about you and me… la la la… (remember that song!?)  I was excited when I saw four weeks mentioned there, but then I saw the part about stitches.  Urrgghh.  Jane got stitches, so six weeks it is. err.

3. BabyCenter UUurrrrggghhhhh:  Why oh why did I read some of those comments?  Some of the woman commenting said that they had sex with their husband two weeks after having their baby.

4. Mayo Clinic: Answers to the most common questions about postpartum sex.

5. So you REALLY have to wait?: This is my favorite article about having sex after a baby.  Why?  They refer the six-week waiting period to “folk wisdom” and that woman should be given the freedom to choose!  NICE.

OK, before I get a lot of heat from everyone, I do understand the purpose of the no sex rule.  It’s to help a woman heal and ensure the risk of infection is kept at a minimum.  I understand that.  But why don’t doctors schedule the follow-up appointment for five weeks?  Or four?  I’m going to go with article # 5 listed above and their folk wisdom (the link goes to an interesting article on folk wisdom from Psychology Today).  Sadly, they didn’t cover the big question, “how long do you have to wait to have sex after you have a baby?”

So where does all of this leave me?  Well, not one inch further than I was before.  Mommy Jane and I will of course be waiting until we get the OK from her doctor.  We have what… three move long weeks ahead of us…urrgh.

Now what about you?

How long did you wait?  Did you hold off until after your six week appointment?  Did you break the no sex rule and *secretly* go against doctor’s orders?  Did you wait even longer?

We’ve all heard stories of people going to their doctor on their six week appointment and finding out they are pregnant again.  Any of you guilty of that charge?  :)

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Pregnant Jane and I plan to get the reviews we need to do finished today – just in case.  I feel like I’m in pins and needles every single day lately and if we don’t get these reviews done, Baby Tarzan will be here before we know it!  With Jane being 39 weeks pregnant, I feel like her water is going to break at any moment.   And every morning I wake up, I’m surprised we made it another day without Jane going into labor in the middle of the night!

And speaking of labor, I want to talk a little about what got us into this journey.  Yes, it’s a subject that makes people blush.  Yes, it’s a subject that is often NEVER discussed during the beginning of a pregnancy while the morning sickness is kicking in high gear before, during, and after every single meal.

I’m talking about the word sex.

Over the past nine months, I’ve written countless blog posts about how there were some very long dry spells.  I was going crazy a few times.  But as Jane’s hormones got a little better under control and the morning sickness ended, things thankfully turned back to normal… well, somewhat.

Don’t worry.  I’m not going to go into all the wild and crazy details about pregnant sex here, so no need to look over your shoulder to see if anyone is looking at your computer screen (especially if you are at work!)

But what I do want to talk about is the DVD by Sinclair Institute called, “The Better Sex Guide To Sex & Pregnancy: Connected and Loving It!”

We were contacted by the Sinclair Institute a few weeks ago, asking Jane and I if we’d be interested in reviewing their DVD about Sex & Pregnancy.  I checked out their website first to make sure that they were legit and to make sure that the DVD wasn’t distastefully made.  Fact is, the Sinclair Institute has been around since 1991 and they’ve been helping couples improve their love lives together.

I did some digging on their site and saw that they stated: “Every year since 1991, Sinclair contributes over a third of our profits to DKT International, a social marketing organization whose mission is to fight HIV/AIDS around the globe with social marketing.”  A 1/3 of profits donated.  Nice.  I was impressed.

So last night during dinner I asked Jane if she wanted to watch the DVD.  She said OK.  Once we finished dinner (with Jane eating a LOT of spicy food hoping to induce labor!) we headed home and I put the DVD in.

The Better Sex Guide To Sex & Pregnancy: Connected and Loving It is about an hour long and I wondered which version they sent to me.  This DVD comes in two versions.  A version without any nudity and a version with nudity.  I’ll let you guess which version I was hoping they had sent us.  ;)

Jane and I watched and giggled together in the beginning.  I was laughing because I had never watched a DVD that had any nudity in it at all with the purpose of writing a review on it.  Ha ha.  But from the beginning, I was impressed with the quality.  They did do a good job making this comfortable watching this with your spouse.

Yes, we did receive the graphic version where you can see everything, but it was done in an educational way.  Sure, some scenes may have been a tad longer than they needed to be for education purposes, but that added to the entertainment value I guess you could say!

The DVD showed many positions to try and the benefits to each one.  There was a section on the “G spot” which was pretty cool and I didn’t realized how much changes down there for a woman during pregnancy.  So yes, I’ll admit, I did learn some things from the video – and I know Jane did as well!

The bottom line is that the journey through pregnanthood is sometimes really bumpy as the hormones flair up and down.  Couples need to keep that intimacy going throughout pregnancy – and you do become much more connected emotionally.  So for any of you going through that “I want to kill you” phase and your hormones are raging like a wild woman, don’t worry.  They’ll subside… at least long enough for your husband to do the pregnant chicken dance together.

Oh, and there’s also a section on the DVD about after your baby is born, so I’ll be sure to refer back to that section soon.

So check out: The Better Sex Guide To Sex & Pregnancy: Connected and Loving It and watch it with your wife or husband.  You may learn something new that’ll make your partner fall in love with you all over again!

Contest Time!

OK, so who wants to win a copy of this DVD from Sinclair Institute?  One winner will be chosen and you’ll have the choice of which DVD you want:  The version we have that shows everything, or the version that doesn’t show any nudity.

Rules: One winner will be chosen using the random number generator Random.org, which we used for our BIG contest awhile back.  All you need to do to enter is post a comment below.  The contest will end on Wednesday, July 22 at 12:00 noon CST.  (NOTE: It could be extended if Jane goes into labor Tuesday or Wednesday for a few days!)

How a winner will be chosen: Once the contest period is over, we’ll use the random.org generator to randomly choose a number for us.  We will then post the results here as a comment with instructions for the winner to contact us.  Winners must get back to us within 48 hours or another winner will be chosen.  Please do not post your email address in the comments, to protect you from spam.  Just mark your calendar to come back here sometime after noon CST to see if you are the winner.

Good luck everyone!

P.S…. Also, don’t forget to enter the “Guess When Baby Tarzan Will Be Born Contest” after you post a comment here!  At the moment, there are 123 comments there!  WOW!

UPDATE: July 22, 2009 Winner Selected!

CONTEST RESULTS

The results are in!  Very funny results from Random.org.  I clicked on “Generate” and the number 43 came up.  I went to the post to see who the winner was.  And who is comment # 43?  ME!  LOLOLOL!  I clicked on “Generate” again, and the next number came up…  And the winner is…  # 8!  Congratulations!

#8 is Alex.  We have no way of contacting you Alex, so please contact us using the “contact us” link at the bottom of this page with your full name and mailing address.  We’ll send your information to Sinclair Institute and they’ll mail out a copy of the DVD to you.  Oh, and be sure to let us know which version of the DVD you want.  The one that shows “everything!” or the one that doesn’t show any of the action.  Again, congratulations Alex and HAVE FUN!  :)

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Pregnancy Weight: No change at 39 weeks pregnant!  Again I just want to reiterate how freakin’ awesome the end of the third trimester is.  In not one word of a lie, I have been eating dessert daily and the scale has not moved.

Who wouldn’t love this?!

And mark my word, I will continue on this path until this child is out of my ute.  Because we all know, after he comes out I will be saying no to dessert and anything else that will halt weight loss… until then, bring on the dessert!  Might as well enjoy it!

Blood Pressure: 97/66

Baby’s Heartbeat: He was in the 130′s and my OB made a comment that he doesn’t like me on my back.  I moved around a little and then his heart rate went up to the 140′s and 150′s.

Baby’s Position: No change here:  Head down.  Good little boy!

Weeks my belly is measuring at: 39 weeks pregnant.  My OB made a comment that he doesn’t seem as low as the week before.  Blah.

Internal: Checking the usual stuff did not hurt.  However, she stripped my membranes and I said “Ouch, ouch, ouch” out loud.  Not really painful, but very uncomfortable.  Good thing is that it only last 10-15 seconds at the most.  Anyone can handle that!

Internal stats: 80% effaced still.  Cervix OPEN.  Dilated 1.5 cm.  Went back to a -2 station.  Doesn’t he know that he needs to be dropping down instead of going the other way?  Oy.

Baby’s Momma: Most excellent!  I feel like I’m such a trooper being pregnant and still doing the same stuff as before.  I can’t tell you how many people were shocked that I was at the Aerosmith concert last night.  Not gonna lie, it felt good when people asked me when I was due and I simply replied, “Thursday”.

I heard so many comments like, “You’re such a trooper!”, “I’m glad that you aren’t letting pregnancy stop you from doing things!’, etc.  Even Tarzan told me how awesome I was for being such a good sport.  Sure I have a little slower walk in my step and I have to go to the bathroom more, but overall, I feel good and I’m not going to let something like being pregnant keep me at home.

And it must be said, even though it could sound very b!tchy of me and I don’t know her story at all, but there was another pregnant girl in front of us at the concert.  She wasn’t as far along as I am, maybe 26 weeks at the most (and that’s purely based on the fact that I’m basically a pregnancy expert now.  Only kidding.)

She was sitting down so much of the time and it didn’t look like she was having fun at all.  Obviously it’s not a competition, but I found myself glancing over at her while I was up dancing and singing along and she was sitting down and I wanted to pat myself on the back.  Again, I don’t know her story at all or how her pregnancy is going, but on a purely superficial level (yes, I completely admit that), I felt like I was a badass for being so close to my due date and dancing the night away.

And now to redeem myself, I friended a lady in a motorized scooter while in line waiting for ice.  Technically she could walk, but since it was such a long walk and since she has really bad arthritis in her back, she opted for the scooter option.  Anyways, she was really sweet to me and we chit-chatted while waiting in the ridiculously long line.

There are these weird things when it is your turn in line and I didn’t know if her scooter would fit through there, so I offered to buy her margarita for her.  She was so thankful and it made me feel so good.  People should help people more often.  Where has all the niceness gone in the world?

Stretch Marks: NONE.  Pregnancy week 39 is being very kind to me

Swollen pregnancy feet or hands: Nope.  (Thank you!)

Belly Button: In.  I’m glad that it is still in, but I am just a very teeny tiny bit disappointed.  Not that I want a gross protruding belly button (no offense), but I just thought that having one was part of being pregnant.  You know, like a turkey when it’s done.  I thought it would be popping out by now being 39 weeks pregnant.  Hmmm, guess not.  Maybe pregnancy week 40?

Next appointment: July 21st.  I hope there is some progress because I have a feeling that we will be talking about other options if there isn’t.  My due date is Thursday, July 23rd, and my OB will only let me go to 41 weeks pregnant, which means if an induction was to be done it would happen very close to being 41 weeks pregnant.  I do not want to go this route at all, but I also know that I would be in excellent hands if I had to.  You can bet your butt that I’ll be walking a ton, having sex, and doing whatever else can be done to get this baby out on his own.

Anything you want to share that helped you?

Funny story during appointment: If you were on twitter yesterday, you know that we had to wait a long time for the OB to actually see me.  Tarzan and I are really good at keeping ourselves entertained, which is a good thing.  We were taking pictures of the random stuff in the exam room (all the pictures you see on this post) and giggling.

While I was sitting on the exam table, with my dress hiked up, panties off, and using a paper-thin cover to protect my goods, I started to tap my fingers on the sides of the bed.  T. looked up at me and was like, “Do you hear that?”  This is about the time that my giggles turned to extreme laughter.  Like from the belly laughter.

As if laughing really loudly at the OB’s office wasn’t enough (the walls are so thin there), I was shaking the bed from laughing so hard.  I guess the bed is not in the newest condition because it was making a very loud noise upon each shake that I made.  So loud that it sounded like T. and I were messing around on the bed.  No joke.  To make matters worse, T. kept on saying, “Stop Jane!”  and that made me laugh and shake even harder, which increased the noise tremendously.

Naturally all of this laughing made me have to go to the bathroom, so I composed myself and hopped of the bed.  As soon as I opened the door, I saw two nurses standing outside of our door.  It was awkward and I have a feeling that they thought something was going on in our room too.  LOL.

Sure, sex helps move along labor they say, especially being 39 weeks pregnant.  But having sex in the doctor’s office would not be the best idea!  I still wonder if the nurses think we had sex!

Big milestones this week:  Aerosmith concert and feeling like I’m just in a really good place right now.  I’m more in love with my husband than ever (and vice versa) and I can’t wait to bring our little baby boy in this world.  We had a great dinner, complete with a non-alcoholic beer for me.

We reminisced about certain parts of dating from the past 6 years and how happy we both are.  I know it sounds cheesy, but it was really sweet.  It’s nice to have been together for so long, dating and marriage, and to still enjoy each other’s company.  I’ve also wanted to be the couple who is 80 years old and still in love.  There’s just something so sweet about it.

Anyways, T. told me that while he was driving a few days ago, he just felt really proud of his family: me, our dog, and our unborn baby.  It just made him feel really happy and proud.  Isn’t that sweet?

We are starting another beginning with one another and, while it was scary when I first got pregnant, it’s so fabulous now.  We are both so excited and can’t wait to have an addition to our family.  It’s a cool feeling to be so in love and to be on this journey together.

(Mushiness over.)

Tip for all you pregnant ladies: One word: Ice.  Instead of drinking tons of water while you are at a concert, movies (if you don’t chew loudly), or anywhere else where you don’t want to constantly go to the bathroom, chew/suck on ice instead.  I learned this from the above mentioned pregnant girl and it was brilliant.  I had a ton of ice and I didn’t have to leave the concert to pee all of the time.  Brilliant!

So here we are.  Pregnancy week 39.  The clock is ticking.  LOUDLY!

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38 weeks pregnant and counting… and waiting.  Are signs of labor during my pregnancy starting?

It’s funny because I know that I’m 1cm dilated and 80% effaced and I keep getting my hopes up with every little sign.  I’m also quite aware of the fact that dilation and effacement doesn’t necessarily mean a thing.  It’s such a tease really.

I find myself looking for signs of labor approaching and then I think “Is this it?” and it never is.  I need to remain calm and stop worrying.  I really just don’t want to have to worry about being induced, but no sense in worrying about that now either.

I had my last pregnancy internal on Friday and I must say that I dislike having my appointment on Fridays.  It was much better when I had my appointment on Wednesdays because the office was always open should I need to call about a question.  With a Friday appointment I can’t just call the office.  Well, I technically could call the emergency number, which pages my OB, but the key word there is emergency.

Anyways, after my internal on Friday my OB told me that I could expect a little spotting since there was a little drop of blood on her glove.  No big deal, right?

Well I had spotting the whole damn weekend, accompanied with menstrual cramp feelings.  I wanted to call the office, but did not deem this quite an emergency, so I refrained.  Naturally I was super excited when the office re-opened yesterday and I was able to place my call to the nurse.

Wouldn’t you know that she called me back while I was in the produce section of the grocery store?  Perfect location to talk blood, mucus plug, cramping, and labor, isn’t it?

Anyways, the nurse said my OB said it was nothing to worry about, most likely my cervix ripening and shedding some blood.  She also said that my OB thinks it will be just a matter of time now (another tease, no?).  I was told that I should not be having period-like blood, so if I do to call the office or the emergency number if the office is closed.  So far, so good (as far as having no period-like blood).

So now I just sit and wait and continue to look for other…

Signs of labor during pregnancy week 38?

For example, and consider yourself fair-warned about this TMI topic coming up, pregnancy bowel movements.

Up until four days ago, I was not pooping.  I swear that a week had gone by, or at least it felt like that.  It could have only been a few days.  Obviously I wasn’t keeping track.

But four days ago, everything started to move in my bowels and this was without changing up my diet.  No diarrhea (really, I did warn you about the topic!), but not extremely “solid” either.  And it’s been happening daily at least 2-3 times.  This is brand-spanking new for me and I like to think that it’s a sign.  Pregnancy bowel movements is not my favorite topic by far, but it’s a sign my body is preparing for labor!

I’ve read and heard numerous times that bowel movements at the end of your pregnancy is a sign that labor is soon because your body will start to cleanse that unwanted stuff before labor.

The only reason I remember that is because there were about six signs of preliminary labor and I checked off each item to Tarzan as we were watching a DVD on the signs of labor – which we will be reviewing on here within the next day or two.  The only thing that I hadn’t experienced on the signs of labor list was “diarrhea”.  Lovely topic.

And then things started to move, so maybe I can check that item off the list too.

Even if I can, it doesn’t really mean anything.  My baby will come out when he is ready, no matter what I do to help him along the way (spicy foods, sex, walking, etc).  I wish it was easier to get him to make his appearance, but I know that when he does it will be special and I will be so thankful to hold him in my arms instead of him pressing against my bladder.

All. Of. The. Time.

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I am a woman of my word, I’ll have you know.  At 38 weeks pregnant, I kept the promise to my husband and we packed the hospital bag for labor and delivery.  It wasn’t bad at all, but not that I thought it would be either.  It’s just the final thing to check off of our “to do before baby comes” list.

Prior to packing the hospital bag we also installed the car seat this morning.  Talk about weird.

Well, I should clarify…

It’s not actually weird that we installed the car seat, but rather driving around today with a car seat in the back of the car without a baby in it was weird.

It’s just getting so real now.  So real.  And I’m actually really okay and excited about that.  I do find myself thinking in my head and out loud to Tarzan that “xyz” may just be the final time we do it while we are not parents.  So strange.

The other night I thought “wow, this is the last fancy dinner and opera we will see all dressed up before we will have to worry about having a babysitter”.  Today I told Tarzan (before we had sex), “this might be the final time we have sex without having a baby”.  It’s just pretty crazy to think about since it’s been the two of us (well three if you count our dog).

I wasn’t trying to have resistance to packing the hospital bag, but it’s just the final thing to do before little baby T. arrives in the world.  However, I put on my big girl panties today and gave into my husband and we completed the packing.

Yes, it’s true:  We have our bags completely packed, sitting in our bedroom just waiting to be picked up and put into action at the hospital.  Now it’s time to sit back and wait… and wait and wait and maybe even more waiting.

Since I am a lover of making lists, here’s the goods that I’m bringing to the hospital:

1.  Panties

2.  Pads

3.  Make up

4.  Lounge pants & tank

5.  Blow dryer (Like the make up, it’s just in case. I don’t actually know that I’ll use it or even care about it.)

6.  Toiletries

7.  Two gowns

8.  Cell phone

9.  Cell phone charger

10.  Hot Mama Gown for labor and delivery

11.  Newborn outfit and 0-3 outfit

12.  Car seat

13.  Socks for baby

14.  Video camera

15.  Video camera charger

16.  Camera

17.  Camera charger

18.  Baby Book

19.  Socks for me

20.  Flip flops for shower

21.  Nursing bra

22.  Slippers

23.  Dress to wear home

24.  Nursing pads

25.  Change for vending machine for Tarzan

26.  Gum & other snacks

27.  Chapstick

28.  Handheld massager

29.  Receiving blanket

30.  Boppy pillow for nursing

31.  Book to read

32.  Unopened bottle of Ibuprofen

33.  Unopened bottle of stool softeners

34.  Rubber bands for my hair

35.  Hospital receipts we’ve already paid

36.  Flip flops to wear with regular clothes

37.  Laptop

38.  Laptop charger

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I had a great appointment today at 38 weeks pregnant.  I can’t believe I’m so close!

At my appointment last week, at 37 weeks pregnant, my OB said that she would rather him come anytime after 38 weeks.  I asked her why since I thought that 37 weeks was full-term.  (Of course my preference would be for him to stay put until closer to 40 weeks.)

She said that while it is full-term, in her experience, little white babies born at 37 weeks are usually wimpy (ex, they don’t breastfeed well, they have trouble breathing at times, etc).

Of course I asked her what babies do the best and she said that African American boys do the best, then African American girls.  Clearly she’s just talking about her own experience delivering babies, but I thought that it was interesting.

Now that I’m 38 weeks pregnant the chances of our son being “wimpy” have gone down.  Yay!

Pregnancy Weight: 38 weeks of pregnancy is being kind to me!  I stayed the same weight as last week.  This actually amazes me considering how much dessert I’ve had lately.  It’s been at least daily, sometimes twice a day.  I told Tarzan that it would be so nice to be able to be skinny and have dessert daily without worrying about weight.  Too bad that I’m not that kind of girl though.

Blood Pressure: 95/58

Baby’s Heartbeat: Started off in the 130′s and then was in between the 140′s and 150′s.

Baby’s Position: Head down.  He’s not going anywhere!  Right where he needs to be at pregnancy week 38.

Weeks my belly is measuring at: 37.5 weeks.  She said that he has clearly dropped and that’s the reason for this measurement.

Internal: Just a teeny tiny bit more pressure than the last two times, but nothing to write about.  There was a little bitty spot of blood on the glove when she removed her hand, so she said not to worry if there is a little spotting in my panties.

Internal stats: 80% effaced still.  Cervix OPEN.  -1 station.  Dilated 1 cm.  (Now I know that these stats do not mean that I’m going into labor any time soon, but I still think it’s cool that my cervix is finally open.  I bet it was due to sex that we had.  I wanted to have sex and then see if my cervix would be open by the time of my appointment.  Hmm.)

Baby’s Momma: I’m doing wonderful and enjoying being 38 weeks pregnant!  I have so much energy and am still sleeping well at night.  My anxiety is dropping for the most part (thank you Benadryl) and I’m so excited to get closer and closer to my due date.  I’ve been out with friends a lot this week and have had fun, knowing that hanging out like that might not be the easiest thing to swing in the next few weeks/months.

Stretch Marks: Not a one.

Belly Button: In, but you can see the inside when you look in the hole.  Also, my belly button hole has stretched beyond belief.  It looks really funny.  Could not have imagined if I would have ever gotten a tattoo on my lower hip.  It would be HUGE by now.

Next appointment: July 17th.

Big milestones this week: Having the final dressed up date night with my husband before we are parents to a living human, which is really crazy to think about.

38 weeks pregnant and yes, the emotions still running high.  In the car last night, as we were driving to the restaurant, I was just thinking about how much life will change when our baby is here and I got tears in my eyes.  Not sad ones, but happy and excited ones.  I’ve really come a long way from when I initially found out that I was pregnant.  I’m a whole new girl now, and while I can’t wait to meet our little guy, it’s also crazy to think about our life changing so much so soon.  Nine months really isn’t a long time at all – It goes by so quickly.  I am so glad that Tarzan and I got to have a nice date last night.

We went to a great place for dinner and then saw the Phantom of the Opera.  We had a wonderful dinner, complete with a great dessert, and then sat back in our seats to watch the Opera.

Oh, and an extra plus was that people were totally smiling at me while looking at my bump.  It made me feel really good.  One lady even gushed over me and told me that I was so gorgeous over and over.  I told her to “keep on going”.  No joke.  LOL.  I did feel really pretty and it was a great compliment to get from a stranger.

(I even got 2 compliments in the waiting room at my OB’s office today.  Maybe you just have to hit the 38 weeks pregnant mark to get continuous compliments… or maybe they just felt sorry for me being so pregnant.  I’m going to go with the first option!)

My labor pregnancy dream: So last night I had a dream…  about labor.  It was my first ever dream about labor and I’m thinking that I need to pack that damn hospital bag now, just like I promised my husband.  It wasn’t a bad dream at all, perhaps just a sign letting me know that I need to get my ass in gear about the bag.

Tarzan and I were at home and my water broke.  While waiting for my OB to call us back, we packed our hospital bags and then took off to the hospital.

Then I woke up.  The bed was dry.

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37 weeks pregnant and reminiscing… Prior to actually being pregnant, there were a few things that I associated with those particular 9 months.  I thought of the pregnancy glow, pregnancy hair, morning sickness, desserts, getting some special attention (not gonna lie), Mexican food (seriously yum), gaining pregnancy weight, pregnancy fatigue, swollen pregnancy feet and hands, stretch marks, big boobs, pregnancy sex, and nesting.

I never got the lovely pregnancy glow that I’ve heard about.  And while a few people have said, “You are just glowing” I know that they are full of crap.  The pregnancy glow is just not there and now that I’m nearing the end of my pregnancy at 37 weeks, I am simply okay with this.  (But I do have my fingers crossed that I am graced by the pregnancy glow the next time around!)

I did get the pregnancy hair, but it’s not exactly what I was thinking it would be.  I’ve always had thick hair.  I will admit, it’s nice hair that I have.  Long, shiny, thick, and all the other adjectives that go along with what you think of when you hear pregnancy hair.  Since my hair has always been thick, being pregnant has made it even more thick, which translates to a lot of hotness in the summer time, which means many, many ponytails.

It’s quite sad really, I went from styling my hair to putting it up in a ponytail all of the time.  In my mind that tells me that I need a haircut.  No one should wear their hair in a pony daily; it’s just not good.

My husband, on the other hand, is not onboard with me.  Not in the sense that he’s one of those weirdo ones that controls what the wife does, but he just asked me if I would wait until after having the baby… you know, to make sure that it’s not my hormones talking right now.

Perhaps he’s just a smart man and realizes that every single time I’ve ever cut my hair drastically I’ve hated it.  And this is over 6 years worth of haircuts.  I have agreed to listen and wait… but it does not mean that I’m enjoying it one bit.

Morning sickness.  I had it and I hated it.  Sure, it could have been worse, but no matter what level of morning sickness you have when pregnant – it just really sucks.  Throwing up and feeling nauseous are two things that I could have done without.  And I do not buy that line that people tell you to make you feel better:  Morning sickness just means that your baby is really healthy.  Yeah, right.  In my mind, that’s a crock of shit.

Desserts.  I will say (proudly, even) that I have really come to love desserts while being pregnant.  Desserts have never been a regular part in my diet prior to being knocked up so I have really enjoyed partaking when I feel like it lately.  Now that I’m at the end of my pregnancy, I have really been taking full advantage because once this baby is out, it’ll be bye-bye to the dessert world for a while.

Getting special attention, no matter how big or little, has also been nice.  While there have been people who have completely overstepped their boundaries, those stories were too far and few to focus on.  I like the extra smiles from people, the not so annoying questions or conversation starters, the door openers, and everything else that is pregnant when you see someone that is clearly pregnant.  It’s nice to know that there are still nice, caring, and decent people still in the world, despite all of the bad we hear so often.

Mexican food is delightful.  Being from Texas, it’s like a rule to like/love Tex-Mex.  Being pregnant has just completely magnified my love for Mexican food though.  It sounds good to me day and night.  Too bad that my husband isn’t as big of a fan of it, but he’s a good sport most of the time.

I’ve always known and been okay with the fact that people gain weight when pregnant.  It’s just what happens and it’s not a big deal at all.  Back in the second trimester there was a 4-week period that I gained 9 pounds.  Even though I’m okay with gaining weight, that was a lot to swallow for some reason.

Once I got over myself and realized that it was fine (and that it was the only 9 pound month I’ve had), I haven’t worried about the scale at all.  There is not one good, valid reason that I can think of as far as why I should care.  My OB isn’t worried about my weight and I’m not either.  It’s just the losing part after pregnancy that I am dreading.

Pregnancy fatigue is an interesting one.  In the beginning I don’t remember ever feeling like “Oh my gosh I need to sleep now”.  I do think that part of this is because I don’t have a job to go to daily.  If I don’t sleep well at night, I can always take a nap during the day.  But I really expected to get hit with the pregnancy fatigue bug in the third trimester.  It seems like I’ve heard from everyone just how tired and sleepy I should be.  But I’m not.  At all.  In fact, I feel like I am the same that I’ve been previously (minus being a whole lot slower).  I tend to lean towards the side of insomniac, if anything.

I always, always, always associated being swollen on some body part towards the end of the third trimester with pregnancy.  Again, not so true.  (Or maybe I’ve just been lucky thus far.)  My hands and feet are bigger, but not necessarily swollen.  My ankles are the same way too.  I feel like everything just grew a size (or two) larger, but nothing is swollen and fat.  I don’t have cankles and I’m hoping it stays that way.

Stretch marks fit into the same category as swollen limbs.  I was always afraid of having a big pregnant belly because I thought it automatically meant stretch marks would be present.  I was wrong.  I don’t know if it’s genetics, the cream I use, or the fact that I’m just one of the lucky ones, but I don’t have any to report.  (And to all of you that have left me comments saying that you got them after delivering, no offense, but I hope that I don’t join you in that.  I will continue to do the same thing I’m doing and hope that it works.  LOL.)

At the end of my first trimester (I think) I posted a blog post about having porn-star boobs.  It was like they grew overnight back then.  Since that first trimester’s growth, I have had nothing to report.  They stopped growing.  I went up one size (so far) and they’ve been at a standstill ever since.  Of course, they might have changed some, but do to my ever-growing belly, maybe I just have not noticed.

Pregnancy sex is something that hasn’t happened all of the time like I thought it would.  I’ll spare you the details because we’ve blogged enough about it, but I want to focus on sex in the third trimester.  Now I don’t know about you, but sex in the third trimester should just be put to rest until after the baby comes.  I mean, really.  I can’t speak for all pregnant ladies, but it’s just not enjoyable for me this late in the game.  It’s awkward trying to find a good position, not to mention how unflattering some of the positions can be.

I will admit that I completely ruin some of the moments during sex because I have to pee so badly.  I’ll ask Tarzan, “Uh, are you close?”  If he says that he is, then I will be a good sport and hold it for a little bit.  If he isn’t, then we must pull apart and I waddle off to the bathroom.  There was one time in particular when he, um, finished, and then I was like “help me up NOW because I have to pee”.  He helped me up, I went to the bathroom, and it was almost orgasmic to just pee.  And I’m not kidding.

And finally, the last term that I associated so often with being pregnant is the infamous nesting that you hear about.  Like the lack of the pregnancy glow, nesting has not been a part of my pregnant life.  Haven’t you read my post on the dirty dishes?!  I really got excited about the whole nesting experience, if for nothing else than to just give my house a good cleaning.  It’s weird to say, but I was excited about getting the urge to clean the ceilings at 2 am.  I have heard from some that nesting might kick in as labor approaches, so maybe there is still some hope for me after all!

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Whew, what a busy past couple of days it’s been this week being 21 weeks pregnant.  Good thing that the second trimester energy is not a lie because I’m not sure how I would have functioned this past week.  My favorite part of being pregnant so far has definitely been this past week.  So many milestones have come with being 21 weeks pregnant and it’s been pretty amazing!

First, I wanted to give you a recap about the bachelorette party that I went to.  I will admit that it was not as awful as I expected, but it was still pretty boring.  Our night started off at dinner and of course I enjoyed the yummy Mexican food!  It was my favorite part of the night!  Ha, ha!

After dinner we went out to a few bars.  This was my least favorite part.  I tried to be such a good sport, but really, being in a bar with a bunch of drunk people while pregnant is something that I hope to not do again.  I’m not going to lie, the best part was people watching.  It’s such a different view being on the sober side of things in a bar.

There were these 2 guys that invited us over to their reserved table and they ordered veuve-clicquot champagne (my fav!).  It was a little awkward when they had the waitress pour us all a glass and I told the waitress that I didn’t want any.  Who wouldn’t want some clicquot?!

Immediately one of the guys asked why I was not drinking, to which I replied, “I’m pregnant“.  Oh.

Then he looked down at my hand and said, “You’re married?“, to which I said, “Yes, I am“.  Oh again.

Then he looked around our table to see who else was married/engaged.

Here’s the weirdest part: 3 of us were married, 2 engaged, and 1 in a serious relationship.  We were upfront with them that their champagne ordering smoothness, while nice, would not get them anywhere with us… But this didn’t stop them.  I ended up leaving at midnight (Tarzan picked me up) and the guys had ordered 3 bottles of champagne at $165 per bottle.

Sorry guys reading this, but what suckers they were!  Yes it was nice, but c’mon.  (You don’t know how sad it was to not be drinking my fav kind of bubbly for free too.)

In other news, I am the proud owner of a ton of new maternity clothes.  With everything going on these past few months, I decided to treat myself to a day of pampering, although it never got to that point.  I was far too tired from shopping to get a massage and other things.  Gap, Old Navy, and Banana were having the Friends and Family 30% discount coupon and I fully took advantage of it.

I took a lot of y’alls advice about pregnancy jeans and bought some from Gap. I LOVE THEM!

You all were right; they are so completely awesome and I recommend them to all pregnant ladies.  I bought 3 pairs and a couple of really cute shirts from Gap.  I got some fun summer dresses from Old Navy, not maternity though, which I hope doesn’t come to bite me in the a$$ in the next few months.

The maternity section at my Old Navy is just awful, so I ventured off into the “regular” section because the dresses caught my eye.  I tried on mediums and they were close to fitting my bump, so I ended up getting larges instead.  You know, to grow in.  I also got some great shirts at Motherhood too!

The best part about being pregnant is the fact that I seem to bond with other pregnant girls in the maternity section whenever I go.  Before getting pregnant, I never cared about meeting new friends while shopping.  I was on a mission and that was that.  Well, it’s all changed since being pregnant.  I need pregnant friends that know what I’m going through and even though I’ve begged all of my friends to get knocked up, it’s just not happening.

Anyways, I made a friend while shopping.  She was totally nice and informative about all things baby.  She completely understood my (silly) questions about clothes and she even helped me pick sizes of shirts.  The smalls fit just right, so she suggested that I get mediums to accommodate my growing bump.  She was awesome and I ended up leaving the store with a piece of paper with her number on it.  Now I just need to remember to call her so that we can do lunch or something…

My baby shower has been brought up and I didn’t even need to take any of the great suggestions that you ladies made.  I was talking to one of my friends the other day and she asked me if I thought June was too late and if I could pick some dates for her.  Yay!!  I love that I didn’t have to even bring it up or wonder about it anymore.  Nothing has been set in stone, but she already looked at invitations and I need to get a list over to her soon.  I’m so excited that my friends came through… I knew that they had it in them!

Another great thing about being 21 weeks pregnant is the love I have for Tarzan.  Now, I don’t want to become a sap, but something that happened to me lately.  Obviously, I’ve always loved my husband.  I did marry him after all… but you know how my pregnancy hormones have been in the past.  Those hormones have gone from getting pissed off very easily to being very lovey dovey like all of the time.

It’s a mixture of weirdness and awesomeness all in one.  As you know, we have a really great relationship/marriage.  I am so proud of him on many different levels and I love that I’m carrying his baby.  This pregnancy has deepened my love for him and him for me.  I’ve always heard that the types of people who think pregnancy will make them closer are very wrong because it’s quite the opposite.  Pregnancy hormones make it hard.  Money makes it hard.  The change of having a baby makes it hard.

Well, so far pregnancy has made us closer.  Maybe it just depends on the kind of relationship that you have prior to getting pregnant, but we are so in love with each other and this pregnancy is what is to be credited for that.  We’ve shared our lives with you all since getting our BFP, so you know it hasn’t been an easy ride this whole time.  Difficult times or not, we’ve bonded and been a team throughout it all, and I’m just so grateful that we have that kind of a relationship.  It’s comforting and really nice and I can only imagine what it will be like in the weeks to come!

In addition to expressing my love, you can bet that I’ve been “showing” it too.  That part of our relationship has definitely bounced up and it’s really great!  So, have no fear if you are pregnant and your sex drive is slim to none.  Mine was that way until reaching 21 weeks pregnant and now it’s the completely opposite!

And perhaps the coolest, most amazing thing that has taken place this week in my pregnancy is the fact that I finally felt the baby move.  While it’s not a full kicking feeling just yet, I’ll take what I can get and I’m very happy with feeling him daily.  It’s so nice and something that I could never have imagined guessing what it would be like.

I’ve never been able to relate to “flutters”, but now that I’ve felt him, it’s a proper definition.  It’s like a carbonated feeling.  Or bubbles.  It’s pretty damn awesome and I cannot wait for Tarzan to feel him from the outside!

I guess I’ll leave you with my latest pregnant brain happening.  Last night I came home from getting takeout at PF Chang’s and apparently we slept with the garage open all night long.  I could have sworn that I closed it – I mean, I always do.  Tarzan didn’t open it, so it had to be me.

Oops!

Brought to you by: bachelorette party

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18 weeks of pregnancy down and I am quickly approaching the halfway point.  I figured this would be a good time to reflect on the past 18 weeks my belly has been growing and growing and share some often unspoken shocking facts I have learned since becoming pregnant.

Maybe I missed the memo that the Pregnant Fairy left on my pillow the night Tarzan impregnated me.  Or maybe these are lessons that every pregnant girl has to learn the hard way.  Either way, it’s been one heck of a learning curve at times!  And that’s why today I bring to you my 35 shocking facts 18 weeks of pregnancy has taught me.  So let’s dive in!

1.  I’ve seem to have sprung a vagina leak.  The thoughts of wearing grandma underwear and panty liners 24/7 dance around to the tune, “Don’t go chasing waterfalls” in my head.  Is it really necessary that almost every hole I have should leak?  That’s just not fun.

2.  Veins are popping out of boobs like crazy.  Like you can trace my vein on my boob with your finger crazy.  Either my boobs are working out and lifting weights while I sleep or they’re going to be some incredible 24/7 milk producing machines.  At this rate, I’ll have one happy, satisfied, and full baby boy.

3.  Hygiene seriously lacks. Sometimes I’m so tired that I don’t wash my face before I go to bed at night.  Sometimes, like today, I don’t brush my teeth until 2:24 pm.  Sometimes I have greasy hair.  Sometimes I only shave because I can’t stand how long the hair on my legs has gotten.  As gross as all of these things are, I’m (sadly) perfectly ok with it.

4.  I pee a ridiculous amount of times per day.  I pee more in a day now than I peed in an entire week all together.  Our water bill has increased ten-fold because of all the flushing going on around here.  One of my bad habits is to go to the bathroom and then tell Tarzan that we are out of toilet paper.  He hates it. 

5.  Not only is my belly growing, but so is everything else.  My arms, butt, thighs, and body parts I didn’t even know I had are getting bigger by the day.  This cannot be a good thing.

6.  Hormones are beyond out of control.  Just ask my husband Tarzan.

7.  I cry about everything.  I cry over commercials.  I cry over TV shows.  I cry over seeing someone do something nice for an elderly woman at the grocery store.  And I cry over the fact that I cry so much.  I’ve officially become lame.

8.  Forgetfulness flows through me like the sand through an hour glass.  The days of my life can be summed up in two words: Pregnant Brain.  I had something funny to also write here, but I forgot what it was.

9.  Sex. Oh yeah.  Although I’d love to say that since becoming pregnant, sex is hot, steamy, incredible, and frequent, sadly it happens about as often as sequels are released for the movie Titanic.  

10. Laziness has become my middle name.  But so has sleep, nap, do-nothing, relax, and chill out.

11.  Food has become an obsession. I swear that Taco Bell and McDonald’s are making commercials just for me.  And no matter how much I eat, I’m always hungry again 30 minutes later.  Sorta reminds of of eating sushi pre-pregnancy.

12.  Social life.  What social life?  That went out the window shortly after getting pregnant and I’m often asleep on the couch by 8:30 and in bed by 9:00… Friday and Saturday nights included.

13.  My constant sneezing has become a way for Tarzan to keep track of where I am in the house at all times.  And this isn’t the cute sneeze like I used to have.  Oh no, this sneeze is extremely loud and it’s best to have a kleenex on hand for the huge amount of snot that flows out of my nose.

14.  Everything has a smell.  I can smell the tile, Tarzan, the garbage in the kitchen, our dog, our couch, the TV, and the flowers in the other room all at the same time.  I’d either make a great super-sniffing super hero or I could replace a few drug-sniffing dogs police use.

15.  Bitchiness.  Don’t mess with me.  My hormones are ready to go into battle at a moments notice… and I never lose.  Really.

16.  My dog is attached to me like a cell phone on a 15 year-old that loves to text.  She must be next to me at all times now.  Too bad she won’t hop in the shower with me though, she could use a bath soon.

17.  Even though I am growing a baby, I still don’t like the fact that I’m gaining weight in other spots than my stomach.  Why didn’t I luck out with one of those awesome bodies that doesn’t gain weight so easily?  Damn genes.  

18.  Google isn’t always a pregnant girl’s friend.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked something up and based on what I read I’d swear I was either going into labor or that I had a rare disease only found in red frogs in the Amazon jungle.  No joke.

19.  Most maternity clothes are as flattering as me wearing a Snuggie everywhere I go.

20.  Fitted pregnancy shirts seem to work better than the flowy kind.  At least you can tell I’m pregnant and not just really fat.  And this is ALWAYS a plus.

21.  Pimples suck.  What am I, a teenager again?  Well, shoot, even as a teenager I never had acne.  Pimples and pregnancy seem to go hand in hand for a lot of us.  Who would have known that pimples could grow into your hairline and on your head?

22.  People want to touch my belly, even though it’s not a huge bump yet… and I do not like this.  My belly is my belly.  Your ass is your ass.  Just because you have a bubble there doesn’t mean everyone who walks by can touch it.  Hands off my bump!

23. I get into fights over nothing sometimes with Tarzan – over stupid things.  If he forgets to put a new trash bag in the trashcan  after taking it out, God help him.  He’s in for a pregnant woman hormone outburst like he’s never seen.

24.  People are extremely noisy.  I know that they care for the most part, but I don’t care about your advice, your name choices, or how it was 20 years ago when you were pregnant.  If I wanted to know what it was like, I’d ask you.  And for God’s sake, the last thing I want to hear about is how you were in labor for 30 hours and you wanted to die.  Or how you pooped on the table.  Or how you tore so badly.  Or how your baby had problems.  Or how sex is just not the same.  Or that the epidural didn’t work.  Yea. Thanks for telling me that.  Bitch.

25.  Now that I’m pregnant, other pregnant women feel it’s OK to talk to me about their dark nipples or leaky vaginas.  And for some strange reason this keeps happening over lunch or dinner.  True story.  The last thing I want to be thinking about while pouring gravy on my mashed potatoes is your leaky vagina thankyouverymuch.

26.  It’s easy to make friends in dressing room hallways with others who are trying on maternity clothes.  We have this new common bond.  It’s like we’re all meant to be BFF’s to bond over how awful some maternity clothes can be.

27.  Wearing fun heels is still do-able, but I know it will become all but a distant memory soon enough.  I don’t know what it is about being pregnant and my feet being different.  The same heels I wore pre-pregnancy that fit my foot just fine then, make my feet hurt like hell every time I wear them now!

28.  Dreams while pregnant can get a little wild at times ranging from nightmares, to puppies, to normal sex, to bisexual sex (for the record, I’m a straight girl)

29.  Migraines.  Enough said.

30.  I get out of breath doing just about anything now.  Stairs?  Forget about them.  Show me the nearest elevator.  What?  No elevator?  Carry me.

31.  The wonderful sneeze and pee.  It’s bad enough that I’m sneezing all the time now, but to have to worry about some pee escaping each time I do, is truly something I’d rather live without.

32. My areolae have begun their attack on my boobs.  At this rate, I fear that my entire body is slowly turning into one big nipple.

33. Nausea and morning sickness are far worse than what “they” tell you it’s like.  I compare it to having the worst hangover you’ve ever had and feeling like that for 24-48 hours at times.  And then waking up the next day and starting all over again… and again… and again…

34.  My pregnancy gas is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.  It’s frequent and according to Tarzan, studies should be done on a pregnant woman’s gas as it may be an effective weapon to fight wars and crime.

35.  Finally, the infamous pregnancy glow that you hear about is a bunch of bullsh!t.  It hasn’t happened yet and I seriously have doubts that it ever will happen.  Seriously.  At this rate the only thing that will be glowing on me is my stomach when the light hits it just right because my skin will be stretched out as far as it can go!

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Good morning Jane.  Are  you surprised to see a blog post written just for you?  Well, I hope that you slept well my very beautiful pregnant wife.  I hope those cheese and crackers I brought to you before you went to bed helped ward off any nausea and morning sickness.

While you were sound asleep last night having dreams about who knows what (I think I know according to an article I’m about to share with you) I ran into an article written awhile back that I thought you may find very interesting.  Click here to read it.

Love,

Your Husband Tarzan 

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