Now that I’m a mom I find myself thinking (& perhaps) wondering about baby milestones.  Yesterday I needed a break & I popped in the movie The Proposal, sat Monkey down on the floor with tons of toys, & we played together while I caught glimpses of the movie.

I had him on his back & it’s nothing new that he loves to be on his side, either one.  But what was new was that he rolled over from his back to his left side to his belly.  I had the biggest smile on my face, no joke.  This is huge stuff, people!

I yelled down for Tarzan to come upstairs to see his son rolling from his back to his belly & sure enough, Monkey rolled over again.  He didn’t like it too much, or it started him because soon after being on his belly he would cry.

We would both super proud parents.  Since I couldn’t contain my excitement, I sent out a tweet so others could join in my happiness.  Well maybe people were thrilled about Monkey & were reminded of when their son/daughter rolled for the first time.

Ahh, such great memories!

Monkey:  ”Mom, when was the first time I rolled over?”

Me:  ”Well, you see, I was tired one afternoon & took a lazy day.  I played with you on the floor while I also watched a movie.  You rolled then.”

But then there was that one tweet.  You know the kind of tweet I’m talking about.  The person who says, “Congrats. My son rolled over at 2 months.”

Oh sh!t.  Two months & Monkey is just about four months old?  Is Monkey behind on this baby milestone?  When should a baby roll over?  What age do you start to worry about baby milestones?  What order (if any) do baby milestones follow?  Is Monkey behind on this baby milestone?

Yep, panic consumed me.

Of course I googled & found out what I already knew:  Babies hit their milestones at different times because all babies are different.  You shouldn’t compare your baby to other babies.  & you shouldn’t start to worry about baby milestones until your baby is six months old.  That’s the “official” time that your baby should have hit the milestones for age 0-6 months.

Of course.  There is nothing wrong with Monkey.  Maybe he rolled halfway over a little later than another baby.  That doesn’t mean anything… Or does it?

I think it’s all part of parenting to kind of worry about this stuff.  Is it normal?  Is my baby normal?  When should my baby sit up?  When should my baby roll over?  When should my baby start crawling?  When should my baby do a “mini-pushup”?  How much tummy time is really needed?

So many questions to ponder over.

I guess the only “true” test is when we go to the pediatrician’s office in about a week.  I’ll ask him about some baby milestones & then I’ll decide to not worry about this anymore.  I’m pretty sure that my little boy is thriving & learning so much during the day.

But, come clean with me here so I know I’m not alone… Have/Do you ever wonder about your baby hitting the proper baby milestones too?

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One thing about fatherhood and parenthood that’s surprised me is how much I’ve become interested in what Monkey is thinking and how his little mind works and learns.  I guess throughout pregnanthood I never thought about how things would be day-to-day with Monkey.  And I never really thought about the feelings I’d feel or the thoughts I’d think as I held him and stared into his deep blue eyes.

Being a parent changes you.  It changes the way you think about your spouse.  It changes the way you think about yourself.  And it changes the way you think about life.  All of these changes are good changes, of course.  And they surely spark this new thirst for knowing and and a need for understanding that I’ve never felt before.  I mean being responsible for a brand new life who is completely dependent on you and your wife is an amazing feeling.

Sure, it’s scary to think about when you’re going through the pregnancy journey.  Sometimes you doubt yourself and/or your abilities.  Sometimes you wonder if you’ll be a good parent.  Sometimes you’ll wonder how you’ll know what to do.  And sometimes throughout all those feelings of being lost and confused, you get a sense of knowing that everything is going to be OK and that you’ll be just fine.

Having a baby is a boost of self-worth and in many ways along with a boost of confidence.  Heck, because I can now change Monkey’s diaper with my eyes closed and one hand tied behind my back, I’m feeling more confident than ever – and changing diapers was something I had deeply feared!

Fatherhood has changed me; it’s changed the way that I think about the future.  I find during my downtime I often think about our new life with Monkey.  The trips to the zoo.  The trips to the park.  The trips to the ocean.  The many, many journeys we’ll take together battling dragons, playing cops and robbers, hide and seek, looking for buried treasures, and a the spellbinding world that creative imagination creates, that I too used to live in, and remember well.

And speaking of imagination, I’ve always known first-hand that creativity is so vitally important to a child’s development.  When I was growing up, I was a kid who chose exploring outside over television.  I was always building forts, going on safaris, trying to build things, and later, taking apart toys to see how they worked (which was never well received by my parents of course!).

A child’s imagination is an amazing thing and as a parent, the more you nurture and support it, the more it expands.  I’m fortunate to have a vivid memory of my childhood stemming all the way back to my first memory before I could talk.  I can remember countless times I passed the time playing with toys that forced me to use my creativity to keep me entertained.  But then one day, the world of Nintendo entered my life and the magical worlds I had created on my own soon vanished as I was now living in the world of Super Mario Brothers.  And for a time, my creativity seemed to vanish with it.

I can recall countless times I’d sit there on the couch and complain how bored I was after getting tired of playing video games.  My father would list off countless ideas of things I or we could do, but none of them peaked my interest.  Looking back, I’ll go as far as saying that the video games muted my creativity.  And like many other adults, it was my creativity that fueled me growing up – something that I didn’t know until later in life.  Once I was able to work on getting it back, I felt “normal” again and no longer felt bored.

So what in the heck does all of this have to do with our baby Monkey?  Well… everything really.  Children are bursting with ideas, questions, thoughts, and creativity.  And I suspect the creative juices are beginning to flow even when they are babies and learning about the new world they live in.  But, there is a lot to learn here.  My thirst for wanting to know the answers to many questions I have about baby and childhood development is driving me to want to learn as much as I can on the subject.

In fact, over the last few days I’ve been doing a little research on how babies learn – and I’ve quickly become incredibly interested in the subject.  I mean what parent doesn’t want to have a really smart well-behaved kid who is the talk and envy of all your friends and neighbors?  :)

Now I know there is some internal wiring that we cannot change, but I also know there is a lot that we can influence.  And the more I’m reading, the more I’m learning how vitally important a lot of things are right now while Monkey is a baby that I had no clue about.

For example, last night I spent a good couple of hours researching many, many baby books on Amazon and Google.  I read the reviews, read up on some of the authors, and made sure that what I was buying had some good nuggets that both Jane and I can learn to help our Monkey learn, develop, and play.

Here are the books I ordered last night on Amazon:

1. What’s Going on in There? : How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life

2. Touchpoints-Birth to Three

3. Baby Hearts: A Guide to Giving Your Child an Emotional Head Start

4. Einstein Never Used Flashcards: How Our Children Really Learn–and Why They Need to Play More and Memorize Less

5. Bright From the Start: The Simple, Science-Backed Way to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind fromBirth to Age 3

Now of course I fully believe in a father’s and mother’s instinct and I believe in going without heart and gut.  I believe in a lot of those things.  But I also believe in learning all I can about how Monkey learns, develops, and plays so that we can be the best parents we can be.  In fact, Jane and I are quickly becoming fascinated about Monkey’s mind and excited to watch/help him learn and develop.

The responsibilities of being a parent are immense, but will not doubt be filled many, many exciting times for Jane, Monkey, and myself.  I’ve got a lot to learn, but come to think of it, so does our baby Monkey!

As a side note, be sure to bookmark this page so you can come back to it and refer to the links above and below as needed.

Below are additional early childhood development resources I found for you to check out:

1. CDC - The CDC (Center for Disease Control) has a list of developmental milestones for children from 3 months to 5 years of age on this page.

2. Zero to Three - Zero To Three is a national nonprofit organization that informs, trains and supports professionals, policymakers and parents in their efforts to improve the lives of infants and toddlers.  An interesting tid-bit I read on their website, “Neuroscientists have documented that our earliest days, weeks and months of life are a period of unparalleled growth when trillions of brain cell connections are made. Research and clinical experience also demonstrate that health and development are directly influenced by the quality of care and experiences a child has with his parents and other adults.”

3.  Sign with your Baby: Baby Sign Language (ASL) Learning Kit – This is something that I’m currently looking into and researching, but from what I see thus far, looks very interesting and there’s a ton of proof out there this works.  (I also know someone personally who has used this with their baby a few years ago and had amazing success.)

4. Making Baby Genius – A great article about your baby’s learning power.

5. 50 ways to make your baby smarter - Really great info here on a 4-page PDF that you can print out from work or home and refer back to.

6. Questions about kids – Short article with some good tid-bits of information for you.

7. Watching TV Makes Your Baby Smarter? – Nope!  I’m glad I learned about this thanks to a comment and this link to Time given on another blog post today.

If you know of any other great resources into baby learning and development, please share them with us and our readers.  Thanks!

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Dear Baby Tarzan,

I just wanted to tell you how estatic I am to feel you moving around in my belly so much!  To be honest, before I ever got pregnant, I wondered if I would like feeling a little person in my belly.  I sort of thought it would be weird, almost like an alien.  I’m sorry.  

It makes my heart so happy to feel you moving around in there!  Last night, for the first time, I saw my belly move and it was amazing!  I picture you doing little somersaults in there.  Who knows, maybe you’ll be a gymnast or a great little soccer player.  As I was sitting on the couch, indian style because you seem to move the most when I sit like that, I had my hands on my lower belly to try to focus on feeling you.  

And that’s when you kicked the crap out of me and I saw my belly move.  Don’t worry, it was awesome and I hope that you continue to kick me.  As a soon-to-be mom, I already know that I’m going to worry about you all of the time, so do your mom a favor and keep on letting me know that you are doing good in your temporary house.  And please know that I absolutely love it!

So after I felt you last night I ran upstairs to tell your dad the awesome news and I sat down on the couch in his office.  He came over, sat next to me, and put his hands on my belly because he wanted to feel you too.  Well, sadly, after much waiting, we gave up on him feeling you at that moment.  I know that your dad wanted to feel you and I felt just a little sad that I get to feel you moving about in there and he doesn’t.  I know that the day he feels you will be so fantastic, so I have a little favor to ask of you…

If you could keep on moving, even when our hands are on my belly I’d really appreciate that.  If you hear his voice, I’m giving you the go ahead to kick him.  He’ll love it and he probably can’t even realize how cool it is!  So please, my little boy, cooperate the next time that your dad wants to feel you.  It will warm his heart in so many ways!

Thanks!

I love you more than you know and keep on growing and staying healthy!  You rock!

Love,

Your mom

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I had my 19 weeks pregnancy appointment today.  Overall it went pretty good, except the lovely pregnancy weight gain… which I’ll talk more about later.  These pregnancy appointments are the same every time, so I feel like there’s not too much to report.  

We heard his heartbeat and it was in the upper 150s.  The shocking part of our appointment is that he is measuring 22 weeks, which is 2 weeks ahead.  I guess I would rather him measure ahead than not, but I would really like to give birth vaginally.  My ob briefly talked to us about this.  

The baby might just be measuring big right now because he had a growth spurt.  By the time our next appointment comes, he could mellow out and measure closer to that week in pregnancy.  Or he’s just a big baby.  In the case that he’s a big baby, she mentioned perhaps having a c-section, but of course it’s just too early to call that.

I have mixed feelings about having a c-section.  I will admit that I haven’t thought about it too much because I don’t believe in worrying or stressing about something that’s not right now or totally in my control, but…

I would prefer to have a vaginal birth.  Not to knock anyone that has had a c-selection, either because they had to have one or because they just wanted one, but personally I don’t want to go that route.  I would like to give birth to this baby in the old-fashioned way.  Anyone else feel like that?

I also asked if my due date would move up due to measuring ahead, but she said that she doesn’t move due dates.  Of course everything will be evaluated as we get closer to July, but as it stands my due date remains the same.  I think it’s sort of odd, but I guess the due date is in place as a guideline more so than a “it’s going to happen on this exact date”.  I trust my ob, so I’ll just go with what she says.

She also asked if I had felt any movement yet.  When I told her that I hadn’t, she said that I probably will feel something within the next week or two.  I sure hope she is right!  She told me to lay on the couch after dinner, with a pillow under my right hip so that I am on my left side, and to put my hands on my lower abdomen.  She said that this will help me concentrate and be able to tune into any movement.  I’ll start it tonight and hopefully I’ll feel the little man soon enough!

Now onto the dreaded topic of pregnancy weight gain.

I stepped on the scale as I do every 4 weeks and you can imagine how shocked both the nurse and I were to see that the scale said I had gained 9 pounds.  

9 freakin’ pounds in 4-weeks?!  Not cool.

The nurse even checked to see if the scale was broken.  No joke.  Sure enough it wasn’t.  

Yes, I have been extra hungry lately and I have had Taco Bell a few times, but 9 pounds?  I’ve never gained 9 pounds in 1 month before.  I know that I’m growing a baby, but I gained the recommended pounds for a 2 month period and that’s sort of sad.  

I know that I can attribute it to eating lots of carbs and starchy foods because those types of food just sound really good to me all of the time.  I can also put the blame on the fact that I haven’t really been exercising.  I wish that walking to the mailbox consisted a good workout, but sadly it doesn’t.  

I will admit that I was a bit nervous to see what my ob had to say.  I’ve heard some major horror stories about ob’s telling patients that they need to go to a nutritionist, etc. and I didn’t want to hear that I gained too much weight.  I didn’t need to hear it; I already knew.

My ob was fine with it.  She said that she would never tell me that I had gained too much weight.  She said that she gained 47 pounds with her first pregnancy by eating junk food.  With her second pregnancy she gained 46.5 pounds and that was with going to a nutritionist and eating healthy.  No big difference.

She did say to try to pick lean protein over starchy kinds of food and that exercise would be good.  I don’t want to gain more weight than I need to because that will just mean that I’ll need to lose that much more after I have the baby.  I also don’t want to cause myself or the baby added stress and anything else that can follow excess weight gain.  And you know how I feel about having a c-section.  Anything I can do to help the situation I will.

She said that my next appointment would be in 4-weeks and that it would be the same as it has been.  She said that she likes to do another ultrasound around 23 weeks, but since we are paying out of pocket that she doesn’t have to have this right now.  She said that we’ll just continue to see how I measure in the future to see if an ultrasound is needed.  At 28 weeks I’ll have more blood work done to see how my blood count is and to test for gestational diabetes.  

I did have a tiny amount of blood work today, only to check and see how my thyroid is doing since I’ve been on medicine for it.  The phlebotomist only needed to take 1 vile of blood, but oh. my. gosh. did it hurt.  I have really small veins and phlebs always have a hard time finding a good one to use.  I usually point them to the crease of my elbow, on the right arm, because that’s where I’ve had the most success.

Well, I did that this time, but she didn’t listen.  I know it’s not my job, but after years of this I KNOW where to tell them to draw blood.  She decided to pick a vein that was closer to my elbow (such a strange place!) and I yelped a little.  IT HURT BAD.

She asked if I’d eaten that morning (of course) and said that I seem dehydrated because my blood was coming out very slowly.  It was pain, the whole damn process… and it was only 1 vile.  Geez.  I told her that I would see her in 8-weeks for more blood, but to listen to me next time on where to put the needle.  I’m going to have the biggest bruise there.

So that was my appointment.  Nothing too terribly exciting happened, but I’ll definitely take that over the alternative!

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YES! The Guide To Baby Sizes Week-By-Week for soon-t0-be fathers is finally completed!

Some background for those of you who are new visitors: In a recent blog post, I explained how I was sick and tired of our baby always being compared to some fruit each and every single week.

Enough is enough I say!  This one goes out to all my fellow soon-to-be Dad’s who are also sick of seeing different fruit each and every single week.  Now us guys can finally understand the size of our baby.

So without further ado, please allow me to introduce to you the Official 2009 limited edition of…

“Tarzan’s Ultimate Guide To Baby Sizes
Week-By-Week For Soon-To-Be Fathers”

Note: To download the PDF version of the guide,
click on: Baby Size Guide For Soon-To-Be Fathers

Pregnancy Weeks 3-4
If you look very carefully
into the magnifying glass
you’ll see a very, very tiny dot. 

Pregnancy Week 5: 
“You’re going to shoot your
eye out, kid!”  Your baby is
about the size of a BB now. 

Pregnancy Week 6:
There’s nothing to worry
about. Your kid won’t be a
nut, it’s just how big he is. 
 

Pregnancy Week 7: 
Your baby is about the
size of the power button
on your TV remote. 
 

Pregnancy Week 8:
Got some spare change
buddy? Your baby is now
the size of a shiny quarter. 
 

Pregnancy Week 9:
Losing your marbles? I
feel for you buddy.  Your
baby is now the size of one. 

Pregnancy Week 10: 
Think you’re a handyman?
Your baby is about the size
of the head of a hammer. 
 

Pregnancy Week 11: 
Fore! The next time you swing
your golf club, know your baby
is about the size of a golfball.
 

Pregnancy Week 12: 
Sure you’re 10 inches. Your
baby is the size of a small
measuring tape this week.
 

Pregnancy Week 13: 
Need some gas? Your wife has
some. Your baby is now the 
size of the gas cap on your car.
 

Pregnancy Week 14: 
Stressed out? I feel you. Now
your baby is the size of a stress
ball. You may need to buy one.

Pregnancy Week 15: 
You obviously made it to
home, congrats! Your baby
is the size of a baseball. 
 

Pregnancy Week 16: 
Man, you are a STUD!
Your baby is now the size
of a small stud finder. 

Pregnancy Week 17: 
Goooooooooooooal!  This
week, your baby is about
the size of a hockey puck. 
 

Pregnancy Week 18:
Mr. 5 o’clock shadow, your
baby is now about the size
of a small electric shaver. 

Pregnancy Week 19: 
Why do they call it a softball?
It huts like hell when one hits
you. Your baby is the size of one.

Pregnancy Week 20: 
Mmmm… Memories.  This
week your baby is now the
size of one nice-sized boob.
 

Pregnancy Week 21:
Cheers to the father-to-be!  
This week your baby is about
as long as a beer bottle. 
 

Pregnancy Week 21-24: 
You went long and deep and
scored! Your baby is about the
size of an over-inflated football.
 

Pregnancy Week 25-28: 
13 inch boot? You know what
they say… Your baby is about
this long during these weeks.
 

Pregnancy Week 29-32: 
Your baby is now about 16 inches
long, which is the size of the front
wheel on the origional Big Wheel.
 

Pregnancy Week 33-36:
The next time you look into your
17-inch computer screen, know
that your baby is now that long.
 

Pregnancy Week 37 to the big day:
Your baby is the size of the electric motor
in the $110,000 2008 Tesla which can
go from 0 to 60 in 3.9 seconds.  Sweet.

That’s right fellow soon-to-be fathers.  By the time your baby is born he or she is the size of the electric motor in the $110,000 2008 Tesla.  Don’t think you could be driving one of these?  You could have had one… maybe even two.

A Warning For Soon To Be Fathers:
A Bouncing Baby Could Create Some
Bouncing Checks If You’re Note Careful! 

If you and your wife earn at least $50,000 a year combined, you’re going to spend roughly $184,320 to raise your child from birth to the age of 17.

If you and your wife earn at least $70,000 a year combined, you’re going to be shelling out a whopping $269,500.

And if that doesn’t make you swallow a little hard, this one will… Those statistics are from a U.S. Department of Agriculture study from 2004.  So you might as well add several tens of thousands of dollars to those numbers above since that data is 5 years old.

My advice: Take a look again at pregnancy week 21.  A few of those makes the above a little easier to swallow… at least for a few hours anyway!

Note: To download the PDF version of the guide,
click on: Baby Size Guide For Soon-To-Be Fathers

Help Me Save Other Dads! Send this to every soon-to-be
father and save him from the fruits of the week!

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