Wednesday, November 25, 2015
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Dads Pregnancy Guide



Enough is enough I say!  This one goes out to all my fellow soon-to-be Dad’s who are also sick of seeing a different fruit each and every single week that our wives keep sending us to show us the size of our baby for that week.  Thanks to the list below, now us guys can finally understand the size of our baby.

So without further ado, please allow me to introduce to you the Official 2009 limited edition of…

“Tarzan’s Ultimate Guide To Baby Sizes
Week-By-Week For Soon-To-Be Fathers”

Note: To download the PDF version of the guide,
click on: 
Baby Size Guide For Soon-To-Be Fathers

baby-size-pregnancy-weeks-3-and-4 Pregnancy Weeks 3-4
If you look very carefully
into the magnifying glass
you’ll see a very, very tiny dot. 


5-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 5: 
“You’re going to shoot your
eye out, kid!”  Your baby is
about the size of a BB now. 


pregnancy-week-6-baby-sizePregnancy Week 6:
There’s nothing to worry
about. Your kid won’t be a
nut, it’s just how big he is. 

7-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 7: 
Your baby is about the
size of the power button
on your TV remote. 

Pregnancy Week 8:
Got some spare change
buddy? Your baby is now
the size of a shiny quarter. 

9-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 9:
Losing your marbles? I
feel for you buddy.  Your
baby is now the size of one. 


10-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 10: 
Think you’re a handyman?
Your baby is about the size
of the head of a hammer. 

11-weeks-pregnant-baby-size2Pregnancy Week 11: 
Fore! The next time you swing
your golf club, know your baby
is about the size of a golfball.

12-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 12: 
Sure you’re 10 inches. Your
baby is the size of a small
measuring tape this week.

13-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 13: 
Need some gas? Your wife has
some. Your baby is now the 
size of the gas cap on your car.

14-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 14: 
Stressed out? I feel you. Now
your baby is the size of a stress
ball. You may need to buy one.


15-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 15: 
You obviously made it to
home, congrats! Your baby
is the size of a baseball. 

16-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 16: 
Man, you are a STUD!
Your baby is now the size
of a small stud finder. 


17-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 17: 
Goooooooooooooal!  This
week, your baby is about
the size of a hockey puck. 

18-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 18:
Mr. 5 o’clock shadow, your
baby is now about the size
of a small electric shaver. 


19-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 19: 
Why do they call it a softball?
It huts like hell when one hits
you. Your baby is the size of one.


20-weeks-baby-size-big-boobsPregnancy Week 20: 
Mmmm… Memories.  This
week your baby is now the
size of one nice-sized boob.

21-weeks-pregnant-baby-size1Pregnancy Week 21:
Cheers to the father-to-be!  
This week your baby is about
as long as a beer bottle. 

21-22-23-24-weeks-pregnant-baby-sizePregnancy Week 21-24: 
You went long and deep and
scored! Your baby is about the
size of an over-inflated football.

pregnany-weeks-25-26-27-28-baby-sizePregnancy Week 25-28: 
13 inch boot? You know what
they say… Your baby is about
this long during these weeks.

pregnancy-weeks-29-30-31-32-baby-sizePregnancy Week 29-32: 
Your baby is now about 16 inches
long, which is the size of the front
wheel on the origional Big Wheel.

pregnancy-baby-size-weeks-33-34-35-36Pregnancy Week 33-36:
The next time you look into your
17-inch computer screen, know
that your baby is now that long.

pregnancy-37-weeks-baby-size1Pregnancy Week 37 to the big day:
Your baby is the size of the electric motor
in the $110,000 2008 Tesla which can
go from 0 to 60 in 3.9 seconds.  Sweet.

That’s right fellow soon-to-be fathers.  By the time your baby is born he or she is the size of the electric motor in the $110,000 2008 Tesla.  Don’t think you could be driving one of these?  You could have had one… maybe even two.

A Warning For Soon To Be Fathers:
A Bouncing Baby Could Create Some
Bouncing Checks If You’re Note Careful! 

If you and your wife earn at least $50,000 a year combined, you’re going to spend roughly $184,320 to raise your child from birth to the age of 17.

If you and your wife earn at least $70,000 a year combined, you’re going to be shelling out a whopping $269,500.

And if that doesn’t make you swallow a little hard, this one will… Those statistics are from a U.S. Department of Agriculture study from 2004.  So you might as well add several tens of thousands of dollars to those numbers above since that data is 5 years old.

My advice: Take a look again at pregnancy week 21.  A few of those makes the above a little easier to swallow… at least for a few hours anyway!

Note: To download the PDF version of the guide,
click on: 
Baby Size Guide For Soon-To-Be Fathers

Help Me Save Other Dads! Send this to every soon-to-be
father and save him from the fruits of the week!

Facebook comments:

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Ananya

Now my hubby might take an active participation I guess! Thanks buddy!

2 T. Adam

really funny!!

3 Nadia

So awesome! My hubby loved this, and so do I! The same old fruit analogies get old after awhile. Plus, I don’t see how the size can really relate to fruit since fruits vary so much in size. The fruits always confused me.

4 Allen

If condoms were as nice as sex with out one i wld stil be man nt frthr.

5 Caroline

My hubby did NOT like the idea of fruit! When I found this I jumped up and flung my arms around him!!! He toke one look and printed it off!!
I am so happy! Right now the baby is as long as an 13 inch boot!

6 Lea

This is a hoot, Tarzan … hope those Dads to be appreciate your breakdown. Cute :)

7 Tony

Thanks for this! I’m tired of all the descriptions geared towards women! What the heck is a kumquat anyway?!?!

8 luta

am loving this 5 weeks and my boyfriend cant tell the difference in me.

9 Richard


This is a great website – there aren’t many out there for dad’s to be! My wife and I are expecting our first, and I’ve started a light-hearted blog of my own.


10 Rosaura & Ramon

Hello, my husband and I were always thinking about the size of our baby for nine months, but it’s funny how you do the comparison. My husband always touched my stomach and said: What will be the size of our baby?. It would have been nice to see your blog and have some fun.

11 Damara

I love the blog and this list is hilarious. I can’t wait to show it to my husband.

12 David

i love this, as my wife sleeps away more of the evening with our ‘blueberry’ as she put it last night I take comfort in the fact that I know how big the power button my remote is……I dont even like blueberries

13 Typegeek

Great article. But it also proves that men need to learn more about fruits and vegetables. :)

14 Pregnancy Timeline

It is really good that you have a guide for the Dad’s. Not many sites do.

15 Tarzan

LOL – Oh I remember those days when Jane was telling me how big Monkey was that week. Drove me crazy after awhile – especially when I had no clue how big some of those fruits she was talking about were!

16 Jocelyn

This is perfect…after the first couple of times I called my husband at work to say, “Guess how big the baby is?!” He caught on quick…last night, he said, “It must be the size of a grapefruit, right?” (I was really going to tell him about 5 inches….)

17 Angela

How funny!

18 Kara

This is so great! My friend’s husband actually said, “uh, what’s an avocado?” when their baby was that size. I just emailed your guide to them. :)

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