Husband

It’s official:  At 29 weeks pregnant I can no longer see my lady parts and I’m close to seeing my feet for the last time for a while.  I was actually so glad when I was struggling with shaving this morning because I knew that I’d be able to blog about it.

I haven’t blogged in a day or two and that’s only because my life has been filled with laying on the couch and watching tv.  Nothing else.  Oh so boring.  Since nothing eventful happened, I had no topic to cover for a pregnancy blog post, hence my couple of days without anything.

But now I have something [click to continue…]

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It takes coming into contact with just one person to really make me feel very lucky and blessed to be pregnant.  Throughout my whole pregnancy thus far, and in my life in general, I try to never think of the negative things that could happen.  That could go wrong.  

I just see no point in doing so because I will get myself worked up over something that isn’t true and most likely will not happen. Let’s just say that it’s so much safer for me (and my husband) to think about the good in my pregnancy and throughout our life!

Tarzan and I had a really busy day and when we got home tonight, we were exhausted and so hungry.  He needed to catch up on some calls, [click to continue…]

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My mind is buzzing with so many thoughts.  So much going on.  I just put Jane to bed and I sat on the couch for a moment and let all my thoughts come crashing down on me.  

I guess this post will be one of my ‘brain dump’ posts I’ve found myself doing from time to time.

Update: Within this post I share a BIG secret I’ve never talked about before.  You’ll see in a moment.  But first… [click to continue…]

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Good morning Jane.  Are  you surprised to see a blog post written just for you?  Well, I hope that you slept well my very beautiful pregnant wife.  I hope those cheese and crackers I brought to you before you went to bed helped ward off any nausea and morning sickness.

While you were sound asleep last night having dreams about who knows what (I think I know according to an article I’m about to share with you) I ran into an article written awhile back that I thought you may find very interesting.  Click here to read it.

Love,

Your Husband Tarzan 

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While I was working upstairs, Jane was eating her breakfast and watching TV.  I could hear her sniffle every minute or so, so I had a feeling she was crying… again.

I came downstairs and she told me about a video she saw on the Today Show that made her cry.  A few minutes later I walked back through and she was crying again and she told me about how she was crying over something she saw on Twitter.

And now, just a few minutes ago, Jane told me that several people told her that crying [click to continue…]

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It was a scary morning for us.  I woke up at 5 AM this morning with a severe pain on the lower left side of my chest.  I laid in bed for a couple of minutes and really began to get freaked out.  I got out of bed and Jane asked, “are you OK?”  I replied that I was (a typical guy thing to do) and said that I just needed to go to the bathroom.

I got up and walked around the house holding my chest wondering what in the heck was going on.  Jane, who is already displaying those “mother instincts” came out of the bedroom [click to continue…]

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Pregnant Jane let my secret out of the bag in an earlier blog post about how I’ve managed to lose weight while my wife is pregnant.  

Little did she know that I was planning on blogging about this today and she stole my thunder!  That’s OK.

I’m glad that she didn’t reveal my top secret weight loss method I’ve been using to watch the pounds just melt away.

Now we all know what happens to the soon-to-be father [click to continue…]

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Tarzan has lost 12 pounds since I’ve become pregnant.  Say it ain’t so!

12 damn pounds.

The nerve of him trying to get thinner while I’m definitely only going to get fatter.  Ugh.  

To be quite honest with you, I’m extremely proud of him and don’t mind that he’s losing pounds right now.  However, I know myself and I know that I’m not going to enjoy a [click to continue…]

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Enough is enough I say!  This one goes out to all my fellow soon-to-be Dad’s who are also sick of seeing a different fruit each and every single week that our wives keep sending us to show us the size of our baby for that week.  Thanks to the list below, now us guys can finally understand the size of our baby.

So without further ado, please allow me to introduce to you the Official 2009 limited edition of…

“Tarzan’s Ultimate Guide To Baby Sizes
Week-By-Week For Soon-To-Be Fathers”

Note: To download the PDF version of the guide,
click on: Baby Size Guide For Soon-To-Be Fathers
 

Pregnancy Weeks 3-4
If you look very carefully
into the magnifying glass
you’ll see a very, very tiny dot. 

Pregnancy Week 5: 
“You’re going to shoot your
eye out, kid!”  Your baby is
about the size of a BB now. 

Pregnancy Week 6:
There’s nothing to worry
about. Your kid won’t be a
nut, it’s just how big he is. 
 

Pregnancy Week 7: 
Your baby is about the
size of the power button
on your TV remote. 
 

Pregnancy Week 8:
Got some spare change
buddy? Your baby is now
the size of a shiny quarter. 
 

Pregnancy Week 9:
Losing your marbles? I
feel for you buddy.  Your
baby is now the size of one. 

Pregnancy Week 10: 
Think you’re a handyman?
Your baby is about the size
of the head of a hammer. 
 

Pregnancy Week 11: 
Fore! The next time you swing
your golf club, know your baby
is about the size of a golfball.
 

Pregnancy Week 12: 
Sure you’re 10 inches. Your
baby is the size of a small
measuring tape this week.
 

Pregnancy Week 13: 
Need some gas? Your wife has
some. Your baby is now the 
size of the gas cap on your car.
 

Pregnancy Week 14: 
Stressed out? I feel you. Now
your baby is the size of a stress
ball. You may need to buy one.

Pregnancy Week 15: 
You obviously made it to
home, congrats! Your baby
is the size of a baseball. 
 

Pregnancy Week 16: 
Man, you are a STUD!
Your baby is now the size
of a small stud finder. 

Pregnancy Week 17: 
Goooooooooooooal!  This
week, your baby is about
the size of a hockey puck. 
 

Pregnancy Week 18:
Mr. 5 o’clock shadow, your
baby is now about the size
of a small electric shaver. 

Pregnancy Week 19: 
Why do they call it a softball?
It huts like hell when one hits
you. Your baby is the size of one.

Pregnancy Week 20: 
Mmmm… Memories.  This
week your baby is now the
size of one nice-sized boob.
 

Pregnancy Week 21:
Cheers to the father-to-be!  
This week your baby is about
as long as a beer bottle. 
 

Pregnancy Week 21-24: 
You went long and deep and
scored! Your baby is about the
size of an over-inflated football.
 

Pregnancy Week 25-28: 
13 inch boot? You know what
they say… Your baby is about
this long during these weeks.
 

Pregnancy Week 29-32: 
Your baby is now about 16 inches
long, which is the size of the front
wheel on the origional Big Wheel.
 

Pregnancy Week 33-36:
The next time you look into your
17-inch computer screen, know
that your baby is now that long.
 

Pregnancy Week 37 to the big day:
Your baby is the size of the electric motor
in the $110,000 2008 Tesla which can
go from 0 to 60 in 3.9 seconds.  Sweet.
 

That’s right fellow soon-to-be fathers.  By the time your baby is born he or she is the size of the electric motor in the $110,000 2008 Tesla.  Don’t think you could be driving one of these?  You could have had one… maybe even two.

A Warning For Soon To Be Fathers:
A Bouncing Baby Could Create Some
Bouncing Checks If You’re Note Careful! 

If you and your wife earn at least $50,000 a year combined, you’re going to spend roughly $184,320 to raise your child from birth to the age of 17.

If you and your wife earn at least $70,000 a year combined, you’re going to be shelling out a whopping $269,500.

And if that doesn’t make you swallow a little hard, this one will… Those statistics are from a U.S. Department of Agriculture study from 2004.  So you might as well add several tens of thousands of dollars to those numbers above since that data is 5 years old.

My advice: Take a look again at pregnancy week 21.  A few of those makes the above a little easier to swallow… at least for a few hours anyway!

Note: To download the PDF version of the guide,
click on: Baby Size Guide For Soon-To-Be Fathers

Help Me Save Other Dads! Send this to every soon-to-be
father and save him from the fruits of the week!

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